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â ânow we all know she is not what youâd call touchy-feely. she doesnât say I love you like a normal person. Instead, sheâll laugh, shake her head, give you a little smile and say, âyouâre an idiotâ. if she tells you youâre an idiot, you are a lucky man.â - how i met your mother
MANNERISMS:
What words or phrases do they overuse?
dude, man, COME ON, and my kid.Â
Are they more optimistic or pessimistic?
sheâs definitely a glass half empty kind of gal, but she owns it.Â
What bad habits do they have?
pushing people away, using humour to deflect from feelings, chewing straws (which is why she wonât do metal), using her kid to get out of doing things, swearing at bad drivers, NOT RETURNING TEXTS.
What makes them laugh out loud?
animals videos and seeing people wipe out. also her kid is pretty funny.
How do they display affection?
doing things for people, giving them dumb nicknames, letting them into her space for any length of time -- she doesnât do mush.Â
Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider?
sheâs typically pretty level headed about things, sheâs got a kid and her decisions effect him so she likes to think things through but can be super impulsive when sheâs pissed. which is why ollieâs dad isnât in their life.
How do they react to praise?
depends on the day -- some days praise is weird and she doesnât know how to take it, others sheâll be right there with you agreeing and pointing out her awesomeness.Â
How do they react to criticism?
again, depends on the day and what is being criticized. sheâs got pretty thick skin so criticism of most of her work (personal songs are another story!!) and her looks, but donât make fun of her kid or she will destroy you.
What is their philosophy of life?
lifeâs too short to eat kale smoothies.
When was the last time they cried?
when she and ollie watched the movie frozen ii, and she would appreciate it very much if you didnât bring it up tyvm!!Â
If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?
eh, sheâs pretty great, nothing to change!!Â
What is their obsession?
she was pretty into game of thrones until they messed up the last season.Â
What are their pet peeves?
honestly? soooo manny!! those moms that are like obsessed with their kids and have zero life outside of them especially grind her gears.Â
FRIENDS&FAMILY:
Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of?
itâs not huge but itâs not tiny either and consists of her mom ( martha ), two older brothers ( jason and robert) and her son ( oliver ). her father ( frank ) left when she was pretty young so we donât talk about him and her baby daddy was never given the chance to be one so heâs not really family.Â
What is their perception of family?
eh? she loves hers best from a distance. she gets along with her brothers fine but even as adults they are liable to wind up in a wrestling match if left alone too long. her mom comes to visit two weeks a year and it is both the best and worst time of the year.Â
Do they have siblings? Older or younger?
two older brothers.Â
Describe their best friend.
cool enough to put up with her bullshit, caring enough to call her out on it.Â
Do they have any pets?
turtle and a hamster. but both are technically ollies.Â
PAST&FUTURE:
What was your character like as a teen?
sarcastic but loveable, super passionate about music and her boyfriend.Â
Did they grow up rich or poor?
lower middle class, mom never let them know they werenât rich but they didnât go on family vacations or anything.Â
Did they grow up nurtured or neglected?
nurtured, martha allen is mom goals, just donât tell her aves said so.Â
What is their greatest achievement?
cheesy as it sounds, her kid. but hearing her music on the radio is a close second.Â
What was their first kiss like?
awkward, way too much tongue.Â
What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved?
she robbed ollie of a dad, and she does kind of hate herself for it.Â
What are their ambitions?
she doesnât really have any. successfully raise an independent adult?
What advice would they give their younger self?
men ainât shit.Â
What smells remind them of their childhood?
beeferoni.Â
What was their childhood ambition?
to be joni mitchell or maybe gwen stefani.
What does their five-year plan look like?
keep her kid alive.
LOVE:
Do they believe in love at first sight?
no. not even a little. sheâs not even sure she believes in romantic love anymore.Â
Are they in a relationship? Are they in love?
no, most of her relationships end when her partner realizes itâs not going anywhere bc she refuses to introduce them to her kid.Â
How do they behave in a relationship?
very casual, sexy meetings at their place and then sneaking home before ollieâs up.Â
When did your character last have sex?
maybe a month ago? sheâs getting pretty grumpy about it.Â
Has your character ever been in love?
totally, but she wonât admit it.Â
Have they ever had their heart broken?
1000%, but again good luck getting it out of her.Â
Are they crushing on anyone now? Tag them!
pls, crushes are for the weak but she wouldnât mind someone hitting her up.Â
WORK&LIFE:
What is their current job?
songwriter.Â
What do they think about their current job?
pretty okay, maybe not a great as headlining somewhere, but it allows her to be with her kid and is creatively satisfying.Â
What are some of their past jobs?
she worked at a call centre and was shit, scooped ice cream in high schoool.
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â "i have a horrible feeling I am a greedy, perverted, selfish, apathetic, cynical, depraved, morally bankrupt woman who canât even call herself a feminist." - fleabag
MANNERISMS:
What words or phrases do they overuse?
she uses the word âbasicallyâ a lot. she also definitely overuses her britishisms but thatâs mainly because sheâd been living there for the last few years. favouite curse word is âfuckâ. ends too many sentences with the word âmeâ.
Are they more optimistic or pessimistic?
ellie will tell you sheâs a realist, though she does tend towards optimism, particularly when it comes to the outcomes of certain events in her life.Â
What bad habits do they have?
speaking before she speaks, drinking way too much coffee (and as a result has developed an unhealthy addiction to breath mints, seriously sheâs always gone some on her person!), nail biting/picking (particularly when sheâs nervous/bored), flirting before thinking (sheâs sure your partner is great, she just didnât consider their existence), pouting until she gets what she wants.
What makes them laugh out loud?
friends reruns, friends in general, lana sullivan. sheâs also the sort to laugh at her friends embarrassments/trip ups but would also be the first to bail you out in a bind so figurers that balances things out.Â
How do they display affection?
little touches (on your arm, your shoulder, your lower back), little gifts/things sheâs seen that remind her of you, sending random texts/pictures throughout her day, sharing anecdotes/gossip.Â
Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider?
sheâs an impulsive little sun of a gun, just ask lana. she detests feeling stuck and that has driven her to make many questionable decisions and has resulted in the breaking down of some important relationships in her life.Â
How do they react to praise?
she THRIVES off of it. like tinkerbell she needs applause and praise to live.Â
How do they react to criticism?
sheâll tell you she can take it, and thatâs not totally untrue, as an actress she has developed a fairly thick skin but she only really takes constructive criticism well. trolly comments on the internet will send her into a tailspin and often result in her seeking some outside affirmation of her awesomeness (often in the form of hookups or friendly cheerleaders).Â
What is their philosophy of life?
work hard and be kind.Â
When was the last time they cried?
professionally? daily, her current project requires a lot of mental gymnastics. personally? after meeting up with lana.Â
If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?
apart from forever appearing ageless?? physically she wouldnât mind being a little taller, but she thinks her face is nice and her ass is good so she happy with her appearance. there are a lot of internal things sheâd change about herself but mainly sheâd like to be braver and a little more vulnerable about the things that matter with the people she loves.Â
What is their obsession?
herself?? sex?? skin care??
What are their pet peeves?Â
she does get annoyed easily and pinning down what will set her off from one day to the next isnât an exact science but some things that never fail are slow walkers, people who talk on their phone in public, traffic (she probs shouldnât drive bc the road rage is real), and people who insist on continuing conversations when sheâs clearly checked out.Â
FRIENDS&FAMILY:
Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of?
pretty small, just her dad, step mum and gran left.Â
What is their perception of family?
family used to be everything but after her mum passed ellie hasnât been super connected to her family, with the exception of her gran who is her favouite person in the whole world.Â
Do they have siblings? Older or younger?
sheâs an only child, iâm sure this surprises no one.Â
Describe their best friend.
the real yin to her yang and the one person she will never put the moves on because it would totally ruin their vibe. also it would be weird because they are basically sisters at this point. if ellie is ever able to sit still long enough to sit and think things through things it is down to this person. big mom friend vibes. 10/10 angel on earth.Â
Do they have any pets?
oh god no, she shouldnât be trusted to care for a living creature.Â
PAST&FUTURE:
What was your character like as a teen?
not unlike herself now, which speaks to her emotional maturity but much more moody and reckless, very little regard for the consequences of her actions, and pretty listless/unmotivated. sheâs since learned to reel some of that in as sheâs focussed on her career.Â
Did they grow up rich or poor?
middle class, they were comfortable, but they didnât go on holiday every school break or anything.Â
Did they grow up nurtured or neglected?
nurtured, but when she lost her mum she an her dad started to neglect each other.Â
What is their greatest achievement?
winning a bafta.Â
What was their first kiss like?
awkward and the result of a game of spin the bottle gone wrong -- sheâd really wanted to kiss matt jones but instead the bottle had landed on rory tyler.Â
What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved?
LEFT THEM AT THE ALTAR?!Â
What are their ambitions?
sheâd really like to have a career that lasts past her 35th birthday
What advice would they give their younger self?
hang in there, be kinder to mum, go easier on dad, donât forget to keep your promises.Â
What smells remind them of their childhood?
cinnamon sugar and french toast, mum would make it every sunday.Â
What was their childhood ambition?
to be an actress and a unicorn doctor, so sheâs definitely lived up to some of her childhood ambitions!
What does their five-year plan look like?
become a house hold name, successfully bake banana bread, take a dance class, learn to play piano, take someone she loves to an awards show.Â
LOVE:
Do they believe in love at first sight?
no, not even a little which is funny because she is definitely the sort to fall quickly.Â
Are they in a relationship? Are they in love?
no, but she is still in love with her ex so thatâs fun. particularly for someone whose default is to seek vey surface level/fun ârelationshipsâ.
How do they behave in a relationship?
depends on the relationship and the person, honestly. ellie hasnât been in many serious relationships because she typically bolts at the first sign of feeeelings as she tends to lean towards her need for freedom rather than commitment but on the rare occasion her heart has fallen before her brain was able to catch on sheâs been quite happy to hermit with her partner. she becomes so smitten the idea of wanting someone else escapes her completely.Â
When did your character last have sex?
probably last night. or this morning. sheâs a ho and she doesnât like to be alone. thatâs when things like thinking happen and thatâs no good!Â
Has your character ever been in love?
yes, twice. and both instances left her gutted.Â
Have they ever had their heart broken?
she has, but in the end itâs usually by herself as she has the tendency to leave before she gets left.Â
Are they crushing on anyone now? Tag them!
lana (and also probs sabrina lbh): @lauralawordâ , sean: @gapsofsvnlightâ , quinn: @sonderboundâ , and probs pyper: @chvrryglcssâ bc she seems emotionally unavailable and ellie likes a challenge, plus she a babe. guys i said sheâs a ho.Â
WORK&LIFE:
What is their current job?
actress, sheâs also an aspiring screen writer/playwright and director, but thatâs mainly born of fear of what sheâll do when the industry decides sheâs too old to play a lead
What do they think about their current job?
loves it, a +, everything sheâd hoped it be even if the hours are maybe a bit longer than sheâd like and she doesnât always love feeling like she has to hide parts of herself from rabid fans/news sources, but she likes her privacy.Â
What are some of their past jobs?
bag girl, ride attendant, bartender (at uni), nanny, waitress, and snow white for a tick!
What are their hobbies?
she likes to read and netflix, but her main hobby is bugging her mates until they entertain her.Â
Educational background?
went to the royal academy of dramatic art in london where she studied acting.Â
Do they have a natural talent for something?
photography, the written word, charming her way into your pants.Â
Do they play a sport? Are they any good?
no, she does not sport well nor does she understand any of the rules. her disdain for football is just another point of contention between her and her father.Â
MISC:
What is in their fridge?
a half drank bottle of vodka, seltzer, diet coke, some probiotics she never takes and a variety of take out containers. she does not cook.Â
What is on their bedside table?
cellphone charger, a book sheâs been trying to finish for ages, and a sound machine.Â
What kinda car do they drive, and is their car messy or clean?
honestly she couldnât tell you the make or model unless she read the manual butt it gets her to auditions and thatâs all that matters. itâs basically always got at least three changes of clothes and a takeaway coffee cup and/or wrapper somewhere so if you think thatâs messy... Â
Do they carry a purse? What is in their purse or wallet?
usually, but if sheâs out at retrograde sheâll pair her essentials down to things that can fit in her pocket -- basically that means a lip (red if sheâs feeling feisty or insecure), her debit card, her cell and some mints. her purse has at any given time four different lips, a chapstick, some gloss, three packs of gum, mints, a pack of emergency smokes (for when things get intense and she needs to break her clean streak), her wallet, a compact, an umbrella, and so many receipts!Â
What is in their pockets?
if she has her purse theyâre likely empty, if she doesnât all the things. also sometimes her hands when she doesnât know what to do with them.Â
What is their most treasured possession?Â
her mums wedding band, she wears it basically all the time on her index finger.Â
Per her usual schedule, Marra once again finds herself perched at the Retrograde bar, eager for a drink or maybe, like, ten, until the stress of the dayâs work sheds off of her. Blue eyes gazing curiously down the bar to see whoâs working tonight, she spies Maggie, her signature red hair a dead give away before she even turns and walks towards Marra with a drink.
âThanks, Mags. You always know when I need some comfort from my boy Jack,â she sighs, thin fingers wrapping around the glass of Jack Daniels and ginger ale, then raising it in a subtle toast. âAlways takes the edge off of a long day.â
âMy pleasure,â Maggie smirks, miming her own glass to offer a responding cheers. âHeâs a good friend. I know his effects well.â Any other day, Maggie would probably leave it at that -- sheâs not exactly known for her conversation skills -- but sheâs having a decent day and thereâs friendly rapport with Marra so so she decides to give chatty a try.Â
âBlake,â she introduces herself, taking the womanâs hand. She lets out an amused chuckle at the statement, because Avery isnât wrong. Trying to explain the intricacies of custom boards to someone unfamiliar would be like speaking to them in another language, so Blake dials back her usual lingo in hopes of easing some of the worry thatâs clear on the womanâs face.
âThe first oneâs not too bad, honestly. You wonât need to consider much. Itâs when they start to really get into it that you have to worry,â Blake admits, keeping the boy in her peripheral as he looks around. âThose ones up there are set up and ready to ride straight off the shelves. Super easy.âÂ
Unsure of how much of a hand to lend here, accustomed to many of their patrons being returning customers or avid skaters, Blake hesitates slightly. Working with kids and brand new skaters isnât particularly up her alley, but she owes it to a kid trying to get into skating to do her best. âHow are you feeling, bud? See any good prospects?â
Oh, okay. Phew. She doesnât have to worry until he really starts to get into it, and that does ease some of her earlier anxiety. That means sheâs got lots of time to figure it all out, because if thereâs one thing she knows about her little ball of neuroses itâs that thereâs no freaking way heâs about to get super into an extreme sport overnight!Â
âCool,â she breaths, the relief evident in her tone. And then another, âcool,â as she turns her attention the the ready made boards. And while she still kind of thinks sheâd have been better off buying based off Amazon reviews, sheâs glad this adventure has introduce her to Blake who seems way more qualified to make suggestions than Karen from Ohio.Â
Avery stands back, a small smile forming as she watches the two interact -- Ollie rubbing his chin thoughtfully as Blake does her best to help her kid out. She has to admit the whole scene is pretty cute.Â
âI like this one,â he points to the board heâs been starring at for he past few minutes. âBut Iâm second guessing my color choice.â
                  the smell of liquor. it was one thing to be controlled in the atmosphere where it belonged to others, but when its slid into your space.. sloan felt her body automatically stiffen. ⌠- or was it because of the VOICE behind the glass. jack. some things hardly changed. it was sloans own fault. being aware of maggieâs place of employment, firstly, but secondly she had thought to put trust in her friends to tip her if the other woman had been there. it all was based on sloan going out or not. avoidance.Â
           clearing her throat seemed to break down the petrified structure of her body. the blond rubbed her temples before conjuring the utter STRENGTH to look at the woman.  â no thank you. iâm fine with water. â  what an impersonal response. maggie was just ⌠beautifully, intoxicating, dangerous waters. waters she needed to stay away from. - and the teacher could just tip her head back and curse at the universe for making her deal with such a scene. she had a daughter with a high fever at home. ( what made her body langue apparent that she was NOT enjoying herself. ) - and being social with people wasnât always easy, especially for sloan⌠in such a consuming setting. some days were better than others. period.Â
Blue eyes, wide as saucers, bug cartoonishly when she looks up from the bar in a delayed double-take to confirm the face that went with that voice. As if she didn't already know. As if she couldnât pick it out from any crowds. Turns out her sixth sense if WAY off, and now itâs Maggie who needs a drink.
Fuck.
The urge to run is strong. To walk away without another word. To keep up the pretence of unfamiliarity set by Sloan. It would be so easy -- to shrug her shoulders and leave her there to deal with her own daemons. But she canât do that. Even if she wasnât working (the first job sheâs had in years she actually gives a crap about) she couldnât pretend no to care about Sloan if she wanted to -- she doesnât have it in her. Against all better judgement, Maggie is hardwired to care.
âShit, sorry,â she chastises herself, quick to move the glass behind the bar (away from Sloan but still within reach, sheâs liable to need it) and replaces it with ice water. âI didnât...â expect to see you here. âGuess I should have waited for an order.â Itâs not an apology, but if Sloan chooses to read between the lines she figures it could be.
Where there was overwhelming sadness painting Lanaâs features moments ago, is now rapidly overtaken by patent incredulity. This explanation is something the physicist has waited years for, gone to therapy for, and speculated wildly over, and now that sheâs finally hearing itâŚand it falls so unbelievably short. The disappointment she feels in this instant is almost physically painful. Â
âAreâŚare you serious? A role? You abandoned me on our wedding day because of a role!?â Even repeating the words didnât help make it any more plausible. This is a rare moment, wherein Lana is gobsmacked. Completely and utterly gobsmacked.  âEllie, you know damn well that I have always supported your career. Hell, I even bought you acting classes! Clearly there is something youâre not telling me here, because I absolutely refuse to believe youâd throw away our entire relationship over something soâŚstupid.â
This time the reaction is expected -- she left Lana high and dry for years -- but the anger throws her for a loop. It enough of a shift to finally draw her gaze away from her own hands as brown eyes fly up to lock on a pair of lighter brown, searching for... not understanding but something adjacent. Instead sheâs met with frustration and confusion.Â
Did she hear the part about Ellie being scared?
That word, stupid, hurts more than it probably should -- but from Lana itâs a tough one to swallow. Yes, she can be frivolous but there are two things in this world she cares about and sheâd hoped even now Lana would know she is one of them.Â
âI left to film, yeah but it was more complicated, like I said.â Sheâs getting defensive now, physically moving away. âI got scared! I panicked. And working was a distraction, sure, but it wasnât ... everything. I â I regret it. I know I didnât handle things the way I should but I canât -- I donât -- I donât know what you want me to say...âÂ
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The second Ellie speaks, whatever kind of trance Evie was in stopped. Suddenly she realized just how forward that sounded, a blush working its way up her neck. âI mean, I guess so? Iâm not quite sure if that helped with the whole having to do that to another person in reality one day but uh.. Thank you. I think.â She rubs the back of her neck awkwardly, not wanting to meet Ellieâs gaze.Â
Now itâs Ellieâs turn to want to hit her head against the table -- she wonât, because she values her face, but the temptation is there. She does sigh though, hanging her head just so before taking another longer sip of her coffee. Was this the same woman who had just had her scoping out the nearest closest for some very immature public heavy petting.Â
âAnd gone, just like that,â she mutters under her breath, returning her attention to her fellow Brit. âWell, it helps if you donât immediately backpedal, dear. Just saying. Roller coaster for my ego.â She bites her lip, thoughtful for a moment. âIn the wild, you might try being less specific, but in terms getting me to go home with you,â she flashes Evie a thumbs up, âsolid B effort.âÂ
âStop.â Hands held up, Lana halts Ellie from continuing, not wanting to hear another word.  âPlease, just stop. I donâtâŚI donât hate you, Ellie. I canât. You gave me the happiest years of my life and for that alone I canât hate you.â The coffee in her system is useless, she feels so damned tired. âBut what youâve also given me is pain, and years of therapy.â Lana sucks in a shaking breath between her teeth, a feeble attempt to swallow down tears. âYou hurt me.â
A pregnant pause, and Lana speaks once more, voice meek and unsure, ââŚwhy?â
Right. She should have expected that. If sheâs honest, she knows she did she just hoped for a different outcome. Silly, that. Hoping for something she isnât owed let alone deserve -- karmically, she deserves much worse. What did she think she could just waltz in with some well-intentioned remorseful sentiments and everything would be smoothed over?Â
She broke this woman. Whom she loves. Is there any coming back from that?
There are many practiced excuses at the tip of her tongue. Some of them are almost even good. But none are wholly truthful, except...
âI was scared.â She shrugs, it sounds so stupid coming out of her mouth but there it is and once she starts she finds itâs hard to stop. âI -- you had my whole heart. I didnât --â a breath, shuddering as her words rip tears from her eyes. âI knew if I lost you Iâd never recover so I... left first. There was a movie, a big deal sort of offer all very last minute.â She shakes her head, still unable to meet Lanaâs eyes. Somewhere her mum is looking down on her sadly and Ellie hopes she isnât too disappointed in who her daughter has become. The kind of person who takes the easy way out when life gets tough. Who finds happiness and destroys it. No, she thinks sheâd rather not know what her mum would think.Â
âIt was cowardly. And Iâm not proud. But there it is.â Sheâs not sure Lana will get much solace from her carelessness, but at least she knows. She can do with it what she wants.Â
I'm in my bed
And you're not here
And there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands
Forget what I said
It's not what I meant
And I can't take it back
I can't unpack the baggage you left
What am I now?
What am I now?
What if I'm someone I don't want around?
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin'
What if I'm down?
What if I'm out?
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin'
freemaofficial #regram @salsal4life Sooooo good to see you & mama @alexkingstonofficial today!!! đ´đđšđŻ #reunited #Hollywoodbaby #loveyas (x)
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Jack snorts again, shaking her head at the other womanâs antics. âGood God, its been a hot minute. I forgot about how adorable you are.â Taking a sip of her drink she looked around the bar, trying to see if anyone was watching them. Nope, no one was. âAlright alright, show me the meme.â Sure, sheâd seen it before, longggg before. But watching Darcy get all excited made her night just that much better. âYour classes canceled for the rest of the term?â
Sheâs not quite sure how to take the compliment (if it is in fact one), so she just sort of smiles broadly at the other woman -- sheâs found that usually does the trick. âBrilliant,â she all but squees as she sets about finding the meme. âItâs ârelatableâ as the kids say. I pikachu ten times a day. AT LEAST.â Depending on the day it could definitely be more. Loads of surprising things happened on campus. She turns the phone toward Jack, looking very proud of herself. âYeah -- I mean, sort of -- weâve been relocated. Construction,â she huffs, rolling her eyes.Â
The catching of her head brought back soft flashes of the night sheâd spent with Ellie. Soft skin, bare skin. Shaking her head she pulled away from the touch and sat upright, sparing a glance at her. Bollocks. Okay, she could do this. Less words⌠Less words? Brown eyes focused on the other womanâs gaze now, shoulders relaxing slightly as she took a deep breath to steel her nerves.Â
âEver since you sat down I havenât been able to catch my breath.â Her body moved as if on auto pilot, eyes drawing down to lips as she reached forward and softly let fingers trace across the other womanâs jaw. âI think itâs only fair we even the playing field.â This time her gaze flicked up to lock with Ellieâs, her gaze smoldering oddly enough.
A sultry sort of smile settles on Ellieâs lips. Oh, thatâs much better. She wants to be smug -- honestly, she deserves it, look what sheâs brought out in the other woman, itâs magnificent! -- but the little touch, he words, the cadence in Evieâs voice it all work together to send her heart aflutter and suddenly sheâs much too distracted to be smug. (Donât worry, sheâll get back to it later.)Â
âThatâs better,â she hums, sitting a bit taller now as she takes a sip of her coffee -- her mouth isnât dry, but she appreciates the dramatic effect. âAtta girl!â she nudges Evieâs hand with her own. âSaid you werenât hopeless, didnât I?â