“serim got access to the abandoned building that used to be a franchise near this city.” you watch taeyoung lets out a smirk as yuna contorted while shaking her head, already knowing what he might say next. your eyes widen as you are now intrigued by following the conversation.

“how did he get it? did your dad buy the land there?” yuna replied, her eyes squinting at the boy your group of friends knows is the richest of the four of you. his father owns multiple properties in the city for whatever construction he has planned or selling them to the highest bidder.

“that’s what my brother implies.” taeyoung’s eyes wander between the three of you. you turn your head slightly towards sunoo, your next-door neighbor and best friend since you two were kids. both of you were quiet as you observed your two friends converse about taeyoung’s ‘special access’ to the mysterious building you had never heard of before, but have learned the stories surrounding what it has.

“and like that stupid brain of his, he dared me to stay there from midnight to 6 in the morning.” taeyoung ruffles his hair as you see him roll his eyes and scoff, covering himself because of the ridiculousness.

“what you’re getting from that?” sunoo asked beside you as you nod while raising your eyebrow. taeyoung is not stupid enough to be gaslighted by his older brother like that, isn’t he?

“his allowance for three months, you know how big their allowances are especially college students like him,” taeyoung replied snarkily, a smirk forming on his face. “and also my dignity cause you all recognize how much he teases me.” you see yuna rolled her eyes as sunoo giggled, you pursed your lips, looking at the boy in front of you in disbelief, leaning your body back as you don’t want to get involved in their sibling rivalry while grabbing the snack that is now in front of sunoo.

“and he said i can bring my friends so i want to bring you all.”

what?

hearing the ridiculousness of taeyoung’s invitation with the whole context made sunoo covers his face in embarrassment. yuna looks at the boy beside you and nods, understanding his feelings before looking away. you, on the other hand, viewed your surroundings as the voice of the cafeteria environment making your focus turn away.

“guys, please? (y/n)? you like true crime, right?” taeyoung asked, bringing your focus back to the table as your name is mentioned.

you and your friends know how much you love true crime. how your favorite board game is clue while your favorite activity while going out with them is to go to escape rooms. half of your entertainment is watching criminal psychology videos—including their interrogation or just story time of the true crimes that happened in history, both solved and unsolved. you have always liked mysteries, help solve alternate reality games on the internet with the skills you train to use. they always seem to intrigue you, the absence of certain information. it’s no different with freddy fazbear’s pizza and the scandals surrounding it.

the legend that is freddy fazbear’s pizza, their franchises and stories about how it becomes the business failure that has always intrigued you. how back in the late 70s, two people by the name of henry emily and william afton tried to open a diner by selling pizza for kids’ birthday parties. you learned from what you read, back at that time, mascots are popular in those establishments, so they create two spring-lock animatronics made for the kids’ entertainment the two can wear, while also prototyping four others which will possess their own sense of control. henry‘s called fredbear, a yellow bear, while william‘s called spring bonnie, a yellow rabbit. the other four are freedy fazbear, a brown bear; bonnie, a purple rabbit; chica, a yellow chicken; and foxy, a pirate-costumed fox.

that is until five children went missing and the animatronics started to act weird, as people back then described. it all goes downhill from the incident.

the original diner closed after lawsuits and missing children were reported with the diner as its connection. henry emily and william afton fought with each other where henry cuts their partnership and created his own company, hiring employees to get the business together in the 80s, it’s called fazbear entertainment. the company opens so many franchises of freddy fazbear’s pizza until one by one it closes down. rumors of odor coming from inside the pizzeria and the animatronics going ‘haywire to walk around the vicinity’ at night are the main reasons for its downfall until the early 2000s when the company disappeared, never opening another franchise again.

you always believed there is a connection between the missing children, the odor, and the animatronics acting weirdly. you really wanted to find out about it. never have you assumed that near where you lived, there was once a freedy fazbear’s pizza. and the news was the reason for your shock when taeyoung said that he, by proxy from his dad who is a property developer, gained access to one.

“i mean… i do.” you replied to taeyoung with a tilted head. “but never have i thought that you’re going to ask me to go to one of their places. heck, i didn’t even know our city had one.” you continued, unconsciously biting the inside of your lips.

“well, that’s good, right? you can explore the building while getting to know it and its history? maybe be able to contribute to the story that is out there.” you can only nod after what taeyoung said as it is, in your mind, the truth. you maybe aren’t the best equipped to solve this kind of mystery, but being a high school student sometimes has its boring times and this is an opportunity of a lifetime, a story that you can tell someday. you don’t even know if this abandoned building also owns its secret. were there also missing children cases back in their prime days like the other franchises? does it also have any link to the odor and weird animatronics people have associated the franchise with other than their pizza and arcade?

“i’ll go.” sunoo and yuna stare at you bewildered after what you said, making taeyoung lightly bounce on his side of the table. you can’t help to want to know. all the curiosity that’s running through your mind envelops you—you don’t even have enough moments to think about how to survive a night there, at an abandoned building engulf in trees where it is hard to reach. where danger can just be right around the corner, yet you just want to know what happened and why it has become like this.

“if (y/n)’s going, i’ll go too.” you see sunoo replied. you let out a small smirk as you glimpse at the boy, lifting your fist up for him to fist bump where sunoo grins at you while giving a light one.

yuna lets out a sigh and said, “fine, but, i know the other two agree with me. we want those allowances to be given to us evenly.” you let out a chuckle as the three of you glare at taeyoung with a baffled look on his face, before letting out his breath.

“25% for each of us?” taeyoung sees all three of you nodding, a sneaky grin on all of your faces.

“fine by me.”

-

“you’re nervous?” you heard sunoo speak as you tie your combat boots tightly and slip the remaining laces under the tied ones. sighing quietly as you look up to admire his room that you’ve visited hundreds maybe nearing thousand of times while looking at the backpack you packed full of stuff you needed as you told your mom and his mom that you’re having a sleepover in his room tonight.

“it’s… mixed. like nervous but excited and also scared.” you bounce your feet on the floor sitting as he furrows his eyebrows while also checking the backpack you can see is beside you. “anything can happen there.” you mumbled.

sunoo smiled as he replied, “we can get through it, all of us.”

in your group, sunoo has always been the optimistic one: like when all four of you play dodgeball for p.e. class with your other classmates, he is usually the one that commands the most but also throws the most, most of his shots are a hit which—you can’t deny—also amazed you. yuna is the pessimistic one: worrying at first but being solid at it after, like when she complained to the rest of you before a physics exam and then found out that she also gets the highest score. taeyoung is the mischievous one that pranks and dares all three of you, sometimes not even caring if karma gets him like a ball to his nuts. while you are the curious one: sometimes your curiosity gets you in trouble like getting detention but it also helps your friends in acing the hardest math exam you have ever taken with the answer key you remembered reading and all four of you got at least a 90 on the scores.

“speaking of getting through it, what do you bring?” you nudge your shoulder toward his backpack beside yours.

“snacks, water bottles, blankets, medkit,” he replied as he closes his bag, his gaze now on you.

you hummed as a smile formed, “like a scout. nice!”

“you knew about me going camping before. so i packed the things i pack when camping, “ sunoo answered as he gently put his hand on his waist. “how about you?”

“a notebook, pencil, spare clothes, water, spare batteries, and a pocket knife,” you reply while you think about how funny your differing priorities are for today’s adventure, exactly like what you group yourself and your friends’ stereotypes. both your phone vibrates at the same time as you glance at yours, the message being shared in your group chat showing on the screen telling you they have arrived at the meeting point. the open window of sunoo’s ground-floor bedroom opens to the front side of his house, ready for you both to go through.

as you two picked up your backpacks and climb out the window, sunoo slowly closed it, leaving a small gap so he can push it open when you both arrived in the morning. you two walk into the night to the corner of your block where a car waits. both of you can see taeyoung from the front seat window as you both are approaching, gesturing you to go into the back seat. climbing into the car with serim driving and yuna that sits with you two at the back, the car zooms away as saturday slowly ends.

seeing the streetlights illuminate the road and trees forming around it, you trail your eyes off to yuna who is sitting next to you. she has a small backpack of her own on her lap.

“how are you, bestie?” you nudge her shoulder with your own.

“to be honest, i’m sleepy. after we arrive, we should find a good place so that we can stay and i can sleep,” she replied, making taeyoung who sits at shotgun tilt his head back to take a glimpse at her and you.

“she doesn’t believe the roaming animatronics stuff.”

“as if they’re real.” she crosses her arm and leans against the car door beside her while the dark woods slowly envelop the car. the headlights are the only source of light other than the ones coming from the moon above you.

you heard serim chuckle from the driver’s seat. “i agree like what’s with the rumored stuff with the kids and animatronics being tethered. just tell the truth that they are malfunctioning. what an exaggeration to say that they walk around the restaurant.” you glance at yuna, who is nodding after serim finish his opinion. yet, you are still convinced they are tethered in some way. maybe the animatronics are haunted…

the car goes deep on a wide enough dirt track for a single vehicle and stops in a small clearing, a building’s silhouette upon it with an enormous billboard on the top of what you presume is the entrance. it stops and you all step out from the cramped interior, feeling the chills forming from the night wind blowing through the thin spaces of trees’ trunks and branches.

“the keys, taeyoung.” serim lightly flings it to taeyoung who catches it perfectly. “best of luck to you all, i guess, especially you. big stakes right here.” he points to his brother and gives a wink, the said boy getting disgusted by it and silently gagged. yuna, who is beside you, picked up everything as she chuckle next to your shoulder.

“shut the heck up.” taeyoung mumbles making serim lightly laugh as he grabs the steering wheel in front of him.

“see you at 6, losers,” serim said and then the car drove off. you can’t help but look at the time from your phone that you picked out from your pocket.

00:00

the beam from the flashlights all of you have brought shines on the path to the abandoned pizzeria building. the lights roaming on the building's exterior, seeing the scraps of a billboard on top of the building with a freddy fazbear head as the logo and the name is written across the bottom of the logo, signalling its glory and how it has withered with time with it being slanted; almost fallen off the roof. looking around the entrance’s exterior, you see images of the animatronics in a cartoon style in front of a mini playground with slides, monkey bars, and swings. in the distance, you can also see a silhouette of what looks like a door on the other side of in it. the door is most likely an emergency door shown by the weird positioning that is placed. if it uses another color, it will stick out too much. so that's why it uses the same paint as the exterior walls.

there are questions instantly running through your mind as you step closer to it. why isn’t the main entrance bordered with planks of wood like other abandoned buildings you know from documentaries or the internet? is it because every franchise is closed around the same time, and the staff and management didn’t mind the leftovers that they can use if they want to try again? maybe, they wanted to continue, but the lawsuits and pressure are just too much for them to be open. maybe, fear might have a factor in it.

you hear the jingling of the keys and the lock on the iron fence that stands in front of a set of glass doors. the metal creaks as taeyoung continues to move forward and open the glass door. one by one, you all go in as yuna slowly pushes the glass door open.

stepping inside the room, your flashlight lets you observe the strips of wallpaper that are deteriorating and watermarks staining the wall from leaking spots. you walk at the back with sunoo while letting your eyes adjust to the darkness as the flashlight beams roam the spacious room of what used to be a reception room, with its lectern for one of the staff to stand by and the many amounts of benches for people in the waiting list.

hearing the scrunch under your feet, you let your flashlight shines on the scattered pizza boxes on the floor and party decorations that have filled the room. your nose itching from the cumulated dust in the air but not enough to make rub your finger against it or make you sneeze. taeyoung walks to the front as the lights coming from his beam show promotional posters on one side, bathroom doors on the other, and a large doorway on the same side at the end of the hallway. old telephone booths sticking out onto the wall beside the entrance to the main area.

“we can spread out, but don’t go out of this room.” sunoo whispered behind the crowd as you all enter a giant room which you guess is the main area of the pizzeria, and its condition is worse than the reception area.

the room is full of dining tables and benches with paper plates and open pizza boxes, a stage on one of the sides, and arcade cabinets on one corner of the room; some stood while others were laying broken as a pool of glass shards reflected the shine of your flashlight. rubbers that were supposed to resemble balloons are flat on the ground—a few are looking like the air leaked from them while others look like they popped as their edges look like it was ripped apart. a few of the tiles on the floor are cracked and you can hear them crunch under your footsteps. holding your breath as you look like the restaurant resembling a shipwreck, your light shines on two hallways on two sides of the arcade area. both of them leading to dead ends that have a poster attached to the wall, but the one on the right has light coming in from a plank-covered window. and as you look closer, you can see doorways on both of the hallway; a room is there behind the arcade.

you and your friends scattered around the dining tables to search the nooks and crannies of the room. walking to where the stage stood, you could see chipped wood from the front of the stage and an emergency exit door on the corner beside it—the same position you see the silhouette on the outside. scattering your lights to view the surroundings, you see yuna shines hers to one of the dining tables. approaching it, you find rotten pizzas in an open pizza box that isn't complete or on top of a paper plate that has confetti on its design.

“ew, there are rotten foods here,” she commented lightly, waving her hand from the disgusting smell of spoiled food that have kicked your senses. you let your feet walk to one of the entrances to the hallways across the room, seeing a few doors in a hallway with a double door to the right.

“we should find a place for our base camp for the next hours,” you mumbled, the quiet atmosphere attracting their attention towards you as they approach where you stand. your flashlight shines in the hallway in front of you.

“yeah, we don’t know what is lurking in this building, so it's best if we can find a safe place.” sunoo echoes your idea, earning a nod and smile from you. peeking from the corner of your eyes, you can see he lets out one too from the slight shine that reflects on a bit of his face.

“we can search one by one.” yuna remarked behind you as she looks in the hallway and taeyoung hummed, agreeing to what you all said. all of you approach the two doors to see them made out of glass and windows spread along the wall beside them, miraculously not broken into smithereens like the glass screen from the arcade cabinets. an anomaly from the other two glass doors you presume will be an identical type of room is the double doors right on your right side.

“this must have been a private party room,” taeyoung commented with you turning around, letting his lights shine inside the room as you all take a peek from the glass door. bookshelves stood across the entrance with a few windows on top of them, a short table with cushion chairs surrounding it, confetti paper on the floor with party hats, matching paper and cup set of chica and a chalky and crumbly birthday cake at the other hand of the table with a blackboard that said “happy birthday“ written with chalk.

“is it just me or even though this place has been shut down decades ago, many of the decorations and small trivial things are still there? like why would they leave food?” yuna added as you take another glance at the long table where you can see other rancid food on it—resembling the ones in the main dining area. it seems as if the management doesn’t want to care about the restaurant when it closes. none of the furniture was moved out or cleaned up before being. it looks as if the staff working had disappeared so suddenly one day into thin air, and no one has the responsibility to clean the mess before letting it spread all over the restaurant.

“looks like the building has stayed in the past cause all i can think about is people abandoning the building and all of its activities without no actions to clean them up.” sunoo made a hypothesis the same as what you thought.

“hmm, 80s fresh air, felt so different.” taeyoung joked as your hand reaches the handle of the door and slowly open it. yuna’s flashlight right behind your body shines the room from on top of your shoulder. the chairs are so small you assumed it's for children around and under five years old.

“do you want to stay here or stay outside?” you turned to your friends as you gently held it open.

“inside the room is safer and we can barricade it. good for escape if we can reach up the bookshelves of the window above it. while outside, there is much more room to run if there is danger and the path to the exit, but we’re much more exposed.” you let out your thoughts as all four of you look at each other, gently letting go of the door before putting one cushion to the doorframe, not letting it shut as you don’t want to cause a loud noise if—if it is true—something is lurking in these hallways and rooms.

“inside could work.” taeyoung voiced out as he settles his bag on the ground. “great access to see the outside if we see any animatronics roaming down the hall.”

“no, they’re not.” yuna exclaimed as her face creased from the comment, then immediately yawns after before continuing. “since we searched the place when we get here, we should be able to make a small map of the place, right?”

“yes, we can,” sunoo said as he places his backpack and then looks at you. at first, you were confused by what he implied, but his eyes move to the bag on your back. you silently acknowledge before pulling your backpack down and opening the zipper, pulling your notebook and pencil out. all of you sit down, taeyoung sits on the cushion and yuna sits on the floor while you kneel on your knees down as you put the notebook on the dusty table, tracing the rough layout of the building from what you could remember.

“i’ve drawn the main entrance and reception, the hallway with the bathrooms, and the doorway to the dining room.” the others see your drawing as you let your fingers fidget with the pencil.

taeyoung gently grabs the pencil from you as he continues your drawing. “across from the entrance there is a small stage and a door. and the place where we are is through here, near the doorway from the reception. a hall with two party rooms and a double door to a room on the right side.”

“the kitchen.” sunoo cuts in as he is standing and looking at the double doors outside from the window. “i can see glints of silver in there from the circle window. on some angle, i can see the metal thingy where you suck up smoke from the stove and some circular stuff dangling which i guess are pans.” he tells his assumption.

“that makes sense. i was scouring near the arcade in the dining room and see the little window where servers usually grab food from the kitchen. the big cartoon-ish animal drawings on the wall can’t be ignored.” yuna said as she leans near you.

“i found another hallway beside the small stage and arcade. lights coming in seems to be a large window with a door at the end of the hallway on the left and one near the front of the hallway on the right.” sunoo added as you continued drawing the new areas on the map, few of the ones you made have already been assigned with their descriptions from all of your friends help. you added the stage you saw, the emergency door beside it, and the other hallway between the arcade and the kitchen; the one where sunoo didn’t catch as you heard him hum.

“i think that is all…” sunoo turns back from where he stands, now crouching on the other end of the table while looking at the sketch. you put down your pencil, unconsciously biting the nail on your thumb.

“what are the other two rooms then?” yuna asked from beside you. seeing the three empty rectangles with no scribbles on top of it. the room across from where the hallway to reception, the hallway sunoo mentioned with the door on the front right side, and the room behind the arcade.

taeyoung inspects the paper and the words inside them to indicate their purpose. “this is a restaurant, so supply closets for cleaning stuff and extra party decorations. and they have animatronics so maybe one of them is to clean their parts and repair them. what’s the last one then?”

“security,” you murmured, letting your thumb fall from your face.

“the animatronics are dangerous apparitions after all. security has to have their own office to help track animatronics and not let them do dangerous things.” you see the others nodding as you added the last three names for the last three doors beside the layout. the current matter is that you don't know the certain locations of them.

01:00

you felt your body being gently shaken inside the blanket that you are sleeping in.

by the time you finished talking about the layout of the rooms inside the abandoned building, all of you let your tiredness get to you and fall asleep. sunoo, who brought blankets, gave one to you as you are the only that doesn’t bring any form of sleeping props; taeyoung with his pillow-neck while yuna with her towel-turn-blanket. the thing is, you didn’t get any sleep when you can hear muffled clanks from outside of the room, your mind letting you awake, letting you observe the area with your hearing. and now, you can feel your head throbbing as you are placed in a between rem and non-rem sleep.

“(y/n), please…” you hear yuna’s recognizable voice. feeling a tad bit safer, your eyes open and you sit your body up on the party room floor.

“what’s wrong? did you also h-“

“i need to pee,” yuna hissed as she kneel beside you, trying to hold it in. the concern in your eyes fall as you let out a chuckle at the girl. dragging off the blanket from your body, you lean in closer to her.

“you can pee in the corne-“

“i rather get grabbed by the animatronic than see the boys seeing me pee.” yuna’s tense face made you chuckle again as you nod your head, seeing a small smile forming on her face before you paused when you heard the muffled clanks again. turning your head against where the sound came from—the double doors across from the room you are in. sighing, you quickly turn around to crawl closer to your friend, shaking his upper arm with enough force to wake him up.

“sunoo…” you whispered, seeing him stirring with his eyes open. his eyebrows are raised as he looks between you and yuna, who puts her hands on your shoulder.

“what are you doing?” he mumbled as he leans up.

“we’re going to the bathroom. i just need you to know so you can stand by if anything went wrong. don’t fall asleep on us,” you warned him as sunoo sits up while stretching his arms and neck. as yuna waits by with sunoo, you scrambled to your bag and grab a few needed items to be on your body: your phone and a pocket knife, before going to the glass door as yuna gently opens it. you turn around to close it and see sunoo now sitting on the cushion as taeyoung still sleeping on the other side of the room. you gave him a small nod as you point at your phone in your hand before gently walking away.

you were glad that the hallways are close enough with each other that no other occurrence really disturbed you in someway—the clanking that lingers in your mind for the past hour suddenly disappeared. you both walk to the hallway and stand facing the bathrooms, the female one is wide open with a poster of chica on display, while the male one had its door slightly open. yuna walks towards the female bathroom where you suddenly grab her wrist, stopping her movement before turning around towards you.

“what’s wrong?” she scream-whispered towards you. you jutted your chin to the door as you see how the hinges of the bathroom door she wanted to enter are broken, how the door is slanted and battered like many pressures of opening said door too hard has caused it to be like this.

“we should use the male bathroom. if something happens, the door from the male one can be our line of protection,” you replied as yuna looks back between you and the female bathroom before looking at the door beside it. she tilts her head and shows a slight nod before walking—also pulling you—to the male bathroom.

hearing the door screech as she pushes it wider, a flickering horizontal light from above the sink illuminates the dirty bathroom, the only evidence that electricity still reaches this building which has been abandoned for years. yuna pulled you to the stall in front of the last one at the back where the door is slightly open to see the dirty toilet. seeing her holding a tissue that can help to clean the pee, you turn around and close the door behind you as gently as possible as yuna does her business, locking the door that is still working.

staring at the paint of the stall, you can trace the various intangible writings on the stall’s walls from kids dating back to the latest in 2005; someone wrote the year in black marker along with other doodles. there are also a few drawings of the animatronic characters made with the same pen that wrote the year instead of the illustrations that you see in the halls. it is childish in nature and as you pin it into your mind, you felt a sudden somber by the missing children incident that is related to the franchise.

that’s when you heard a music box playing, and it seems getting closer and closer.

catching the sound of tissue from yuna’s hand as she throws it away, you turn and grab her wrist as you put your pointer finger in front of your mouth. she follows your gesture as silence consumes you both before you hear the music box playing again. you see yuna’s eyes widen before the sound of a door opens, and it opens hard, slamming onto the wall. you jumped as you heard yuna’s gasp before you walk closer and cover her mouth, looking back toward your stall’s door to see the lock that you put in is still intact.

putting your lips in a straight line to help muffled yourself, your legs wobble when the music box sound is getting louder, followed by the sound of something metallic hitting the ceramic tiles of the bathroom. you gently push yourself to sit on your knees, the song of the music box playing sounded familiar to you, like a part of a classical piece. the sound of metal and footsteps is heavy and your pupils tremble when you peek outside under the door to see a pair of legs full of fur underneath the light of the bulb from the sink. seeing its shadow walking closer, you felt yuna’s breath beside your cheek as she replaces your hand with her own, seemingly paralyzed along with you as you see the legs coming closer towards your stall.

you can finally recognize the color of the fur of its feet, brown.

the sound of mechanical joints whirling can be picked up from above where you sit, obscured by the door as the feet are walking to the front of the stall you are in. you can’t help yourself to cover yuna’s hand with your own to help increase the muffling, hoping that it can mute your breathing as you try to hold it as best as you can. seeing the feet slowing down right where you are, you can identify the side of the three-fingered paws of the animatronic. yuna seems to hide her face on your shoulder as you listened to her muffled gagged before you smell the cause of the gag yourself. as it walks away, the waft of rotten odor coming from it also leaves your vicinity and you peek to sit it turning around from the wall on the last stall—the stall you are in—and now walk in a pace that you observed before. the music box panning from both of your ears as the music rewinds again, knowing that it can attract something or someone to get closer.

as you hear the music box now muffled from the layers of walls—the thing not closing the door at all—you quickly stood up from your position and gently open the lock of the stall, seeing the sink area intact as you walk further from yuna, who is still covering her mouth, to the entrance of the male bathroom. the sound of the music box playing from your left, where the entrance is. you were glad that sunoo had the right mind to not let it open wide and not close it shut but leave a small gap for both the glass door and the iron fence. you could make a run if you need to. but that means leaving the others behind.

pulling out your phone from your pocket, you open your camera and use the front camera as a mirror as you lean back—but not with pressure—against the door with yuna now standing beside you, peeking to examine the torso and head of the being that is creating music. it stands facing its back towards you where you can see from the silhouette courtesy of the moon: the rounded ears and the hat right in the middle. your lips tremble as you see it walking around the benches, making most of its body obscure by the wall, if you stepped out.

you can’t believe it as you see the back of its head move behind the wall as you stood in the hallway, the music box still playing the same song. your heart is beating like crazy and you know it can jump out if it wants to. the cogs in your mind moving in a frenzy as you now know what you encountered.

“that’s a freddy fazbear animatronic,” you whispered under your breath.

“what th-“

the music box stopped when yuna replied beside you, making you grab onto her arm and your phone on the other side tightly as you turn your body around and speedwalk to the dining room doorway. but then a shadow on the ground of a bunny figure appears, making you hide behind the wall beside the doorway, the phone booth can be felt on your back as you turn your head to watch the silhouette of the bunny animatronic walking away from where you at before turning a corner, making its back now facing you. you remembered the lines of dining tables you saw, four rows from the stage, that takes most of the hall.

you let go of yuna’s hand when you heard her whisper, “wait” as you crawl on your knees and open the cloth of the dining tables. looking back at yuna, who has frightened eyes. you nodded at her as she follows you and crawl to the opening you made. crawling past you before you instantly drop the cloth around the right time as you listened to the animatronic footsteps coming from where you were now at the doorway. freddy’s music box stops playing like it’s in alarm mode.

you drag your knees to bring you closer to the middle of the long dining table, opening your phone that illuminates the space under the cloth slightly, making you able to see the dusty tiles with a few toy cars, paper plates, and character masks on the floor. you quickly open the group chat for your friends and quickly type into the group chat.

y/n: SUNOO!

y/n: IT’S TRUEEE

y/n: IT’S REAL

someone types right after you.

sunoo: IK

sunoo: WE SAW A CHICKEN ONE COMING OUT OF THE DOOR ACROSS FROM THE BASE

sunoo: THE KITCHEN

the chicken one…

y/n: THAT’S CHICA

y/n: WE SAW FREDDYY

y/n: AND BONNIE

breathing rapidly, you notice yuna looking between you and the phone in your hand.

“you didn’t bring yours?” you whispered as she shook her head, eyes still wide. that’s when you picked up the whirring metal moving around you. a slight gap underneath the cloth makes you able to catch another pair of legs full of fur. but this one is not brown. it’s purple.

raising your hands to your mouth, you try to not make a sound as best as you can. seeing the furry feet stomping onto the tiled floor—crunching underneath its weight. you hope they don’t have joints where they could lean down and see you under the table. but then you remember that is supposed to be a singing animatronic, how else can they show their rhythm and groove without a joint to their hip area. the machinery walks slowly. but you also suspect that they could run with their current physiology.

something touches you and you got startled as you turn towards your friend in a position that looks painful, facing her stomach down as she looks out from the other side of the table. you grab her hand to reassure her when yuna pulls you to do the same thing. slowly approaching her, you try your best not to let the rubber sound on the dirty tiled floor.

“what is it?” you whisper directly into her ear. the glint in her eyes letting you know she might found something helpful.

“see that open doorway?” she whispered back, pointing to the rectangle void compared to the greyish hue of the wall.

“we could go there. especially if the boys are also in trouble,” she replied, almost letting out a chuckle before you reply by ruffling her hair, non-verbally expressing how proud you are of her. you scan the doorway from that small glimmer of open space between the tablecloth and your own, seeing that it is on the other side of the room. you slowly raise your body as yuna raises her, seeing you in a near crouch position as you tell her with gestures as best as you can, pointing between the two of you, your forefinger and middle finger bent as it moves across the dorsum of your other hand, pointing on the table that concealed the two of you and showing three with your fingers.

‘we have to crouch under the table three times.’

she nods, understanding what you meant. with the moonlight shining into the room, and a few exterior lights as well. you can see the silhouette of the figures roaming around the dining room. a burst of laughter caught your attention, something you didn’t hear before as another animatronic steps into the hallway from where the side where your base camp is. chica.

as you watch the silhouette from the table you are underneath, you can inspect where the animatronics are: bonnie is walking in front of the stage, going the direction where you are going, chica is walking towards the middle of the room, whilst freddy is still near the hallway to the reception area. the coast is clear as you give a look to yuna, her stance resembling yours as you give nods in a rhythm.

one…

two…

three.

you carefully lift the tablecloth as yuna moves forward first, her hand reaching for the end of the cloth as she opens it. your eyes only strained forward as you follow her before she closes the cloth. your legs nearly slipped on the floor as yuna braces you. with your adapting eyes, you notice the rotten cream on your sneakers as yuna lets out a grim expression on her face, almost gagging before you shush her up. you glance at the remnants of a pie here, complete with the degrading aluminium foil that is in its place—deep down you are glad you didn’t step onto the aluminium.

yuna nudges you to the other side of the table when you realize the gap between this row and the one across is larger than the one you just passed. bracing yourself, you glance at her as she nods knowingly when she does her own countdown and lifts the tablecloth for you as you rush out.

eyes only looking forwards as your knees nearly gave out when you reach the other table, too late to open the tablecloth as it slips from your force. you gritted your teeth as you hear the plastic utensils above the table scratching each other from the force, the hum of the machinery turns towards you as you stare at bonnie’s three-toed feet that are walking in the path that separates you and yuna.

you quickly cover yourself as your mind scrambles to find something to help her. your eyes follow the shadowy items near you as you find a plastic fork not too broken like the ones you came across. it can help to be a distraction to get yuna to you.

your aching feet take you towards the fallen plastic utensils—thoughts in your mind still wonder how this is still here even with it being closed down—as you pick up the fork and adjust its prong to its maximum potential. approaching away from where bonnie is almost nearing the end of the long table, you lift the cloth up and throw the plastic fork towards where the kitchen is. your hypothesis on the animatronic becomes fact as you see bonnie rush towards where the plastic fork landed, even freddy joining the frenzy. you immediately close the opening as yuna’s swift body move to where you are, slipping behind the animatronic.

approaching her, she lets out a silent exhale as her eyes are wide open, shaking her head as you both approach the final table and do the final dash towards the doorway. the gap returns to the shorter one as yuna opens the tablecloth for you to pass, the animatronics is still focusing on the fork and where it landed. you open the last one for yuna and quickly close it as you step onto something not flat. looking down, you again meet the character masks you also saw earlier: one for bonnie and one for freddy. you didn’t notice that you linger on them when yuna approaches the last obstacle before you finally leave.

“hurry (y/n).” her whisper rings as you picked the masks up in your hand and slip them through your arm. the almost broken rubber bands stretch against your skin as yuna stares at you weirdly before you open the tablecloth for her. she steps out and approaches the void before slipping to the side—the door dark enough that it looks wide open but it actually has a small crack open. your eyes scan at the silhouette of the animatronics as you can see chica almost approaching the path you are now. you sprint towards the door and slip inside. you felt large wires behind you as you grab one and slip it onto the doorway before pushing the door close so that it doesn’t make the usual click sound.

“bad idea.” yuna mumbled beside you as you finally stare at the room and the things decorating the wall.

both of you were met by the heads of the animatronic, jaw open with no eyeballs. most of them sticking onto the walls. in one corner, there is a pile of metal amalgamation with a few of them sticking out. you can catch yuna’s chattering teeth as she looks at the menacing heads on the wall. the vibration in your pant pocket tickles your thigh as you pull your phone out and open it. the screen filled up with sunoo’s worries as you glance at the clock.

02.00

sunoo: you okay?

taeyoung: we’re so freaking worried

typing the answer, the light of the phone illuminates you, yuna, and some of the room. pipes and wires draping from the ceiling as you can pick up the whirring machines outside of the small gap in the door.

y/n: we’re alright

y/n: though we are stuck now

y/n: gonna tell you the next plan later

you let the phone’s screen light up the room which still irks you in a bad way, but it’s definitely not the worst as the one from the outside. seeing the familiar faces of the animatronic heads, you piece up what this room might be. the scent of oil sticks to your smelling scent and yuna moves to approach the tall shelf where tools and equipment are oxidizing there. remembering the layout, yuna pointed to one of the rooms that you remember is unknown on your do-it-yourself map.

“this is the parts and service room,” you mumbled, glancing at yuna who turns her body to yours. she hums, lifting the tools as the small sound creates a scratch to your sense. slowly stepping onto the floor, you approach yuna as the light of the phone creates a spotlight to let you see clearer. it reflects on the metallic materials in the room. the soggy smell of fur from the backup heads of the animatronics, wet and might have moulds in it.

the metal amalgamation caught your eyes as you approach it. you crouch down and inspect the long pipe—like metal bones and joints that resemble the human skeletal system. you could identify the toes, fingers, hips, and torsos. as you approach, you glance at one head and look at a skull with uncanny eyeballs sticking to both the left and right sides. the eyes stare open, lifeless, yet it has eyelids that could blink in a moment; your heart thumps more imagining that. none of the skeletons stand tall, unlike the animatronics striding outside the room you are in, as if someone has pulled them apart to not let them be working.

“hey…” yuna calls with a small voice, the rubbing sound present also coming from her.

“i found something.”

“shoot,” you responded, straightening your stature as yuna stepped towards the metal table where half of chica’s head is present. the rubbing noise you heard is the large pieces of paper that she brought, shaped in rolls. tucking a few under her arms, she opens one roll and places tools from a wrench to a hammer on each corner.

“blueprints…”

pointing your lit screen towards it, you can see the white illustrations on the blue-colored grids and a few words around them. the unnatural shape of the top hat indicates that this is the blueprint of freddy. on the left side is the illustration of the body while on the right side is the illustration of the head, shaped meticulously so that it looks mascot-like and almost resembles the head of a real bear.

squinting your eyes, you scan the words surrounding it. it’s full of unfamiliar terms that you can’t instantly deduct. but you might figure out something when you glance and examine the body of the animatronic even further.

“their body is hollow. look at the gap between the skeleton and the outer casing.” you trace the skeleton’s spine down the drawing before trailing to the side where the stomach is. yuna stares at the mangled skeletons as you glance for a response from her.

“so they have an endoskeleton with fur casing? that doesn’t explain the odor coming from them and how they’re ‘alive’.” her hands lift to make air quotes.

an epiphany comes into your mind even though you don’t want to presume it happened. but you can’t hold it in.

“i think it has something to do with the missing children.” you pivot to her, seeing her shake her head.

“that can’t be possible, right? are they… possessed?” the pitch of her speaking voice tells you everything about her working mind.

“i mean… how can they still move even with decades past? the animatronic must be plugged into electricity to work. unless there is a supernatural thing going out, they’re not gonna move at all.”

yuna stares at you, her eyes trembling as she seems to consider the possibility of that happening. distracting herself, she returns to the blueprint as you turn your body around to lean against the metal table. the tap of the items on your arms presses against the edge of the table. your eyes stare at the mascot heads on the walls; how the fur is shedding from the casing and the watermarks trailing down, damping the paints on the wall so that it looks bubbly.

you don’t expect there was any missing children incident related to this specific building—especially in your town relating to a pizzeria. but the past is much harder to archive specifically with the little franchises separate from the main restaurant franchise. you don’t want to assume anything vile about what happened, but the smell of odor coming from animatronics makes you much more suspicious of what could happen. why the missing children from the main franchise building might not be found and how it could make the animatronics work and move like it’s alive. the uncanniness is making shivers run down your spine, but the animatronics act animatedly, unlike what a robot is.

“no way…” you heard muttering coming from the other person in the room. a small hum as a reply to her, yuna pulled your phone from your hand and pointed it to the words on the blueprint.

“facial recognition…”

you shift your head as you see her open more blueprints—bonnie’s, foxy’s, and chica’s—and check the same area as the first blueprint.

“they all have facial recognition. there are books from the same shelf. maybe a repair manual?” her words trail off as she turns to the shelf where she fetches the prints. the small beacon from your phone still allows you to trace the words of facial recognition right above the music box player on freddy’s blueprint. the heavy sound of books landing on something rings in the room as dust flies.

“aha!” she exclaimed with a little voice before bringing a book towards you. the word ‘manual’ sticking out to you when she flipped the cover open, tracing the directory before opening the right page. she held the book right by her eyes, seeing her eyes move behind the barrier from your view

“‘the animatronics has a facial recognition system that can detect the human faces from its fellow animatronic. this system was made to prevent entry for known child criminals and it has access to the criminal database…’” she read out the information. that’s when you stare at the items on your arm. the masks.

you push the masks slipped onto your arm to her as she stares between the book and the items on you. her eyes enlarged as she leans closer, slipping your phone back onto your open palm.

“we could wear this. get the boys out of the party room, and exit from the emergency exit, which is the door beside this room and get out,” you spoke, nodding your head along with it as you affirm yourself.

“that might work. we can recognize ourselves between them. let’s do it.” yuna said with a thin smile. you let her pull off the freddy mask from your arm. the mask looks like a child’s mask and you reckoned it might not fit your face, but when you slip the bonnie mask on, the bands stretching behind your earlobes, you can feel the plastic edge press against your cheek.

now, your view is much more obscured with only the holes for the eyes and nostrils helping to get the air in clearer. trying your best to inform the others, you send out a message in the group chat.

y/n: if you can, search for character masks to wear in the party room. we can meet up at the arcade area.

taeyoung: what’s this? ^

y/n: they have facial recognition. we can disguise ourselves - yuna

she slips your phone back into your pocket and gives you a pat. the scratching sound enters your ear as yuna now holds a wrench in her hand—better be safe than sorry. you take a deep breath, sensing her presence protecting you from the back.

“you ready?” she asked behind you.

“uh huh…” you said, with a tinge of worrisome you hope she didn’t figure it out. hand on the handle, the hinges creak as you pull the door open.

peeking your head out, you could examine the main dining area; thinking that enormous figures are roaming the hall, but finding it empty instead. the lingering sound of freddy’s music box is playing in the hallway on the other side of where you are. but no animatronics seems to be present. the curtain of the stage is closed like the last time you notice it and you caught clanging sounds from the kitchen area, probably from chica—the boys saw her from there.

yuna’s hands grip each of your shoulders when you step forward. each foot moves slowly on the tiled floor as the windows on the other side of the hallway let the outside light in. step by step, you amble beside the dining table you hide under a few minutes ago. you gaze at the abandoned food and utensils on the table. plastic plates, glass, knife; all you can study without worry.

looking towards the right, you find a half circle that is covered by the curtain—the small stage taeyoung mentioned. walking in front of the elevated floor, you notice the dark void in between the purple-patterned curtains. yuna’s empty hand grips your shoulder as you both stare at it.

“‘sorry out of order’?” you heard her faint whisper in your ear, but you didn’t expect a buzzing sound to come from behind the curtain. your body instantly shoves yuna behind you as you reach your other pocket, pushing your hand inside as you grip the handle. the source of light behind you reflects on something white as it gets bigger. a claw pushes out and moves the curtain out.

yuna’s trembling finger holds onto your waist as you see the silhouette of something poking out from the curtain, a head with a sharp nose. you held your breath when you look at the animatronic peeking out of the stage. the last animatronic of the roster: foxy, complete with its pirate garment of the eyepatch and the hook. its behavior is animalistic, jutting its nose as it sniffs the air with its artificial nose.

before it stiffs and turns its head towards both of you.

its body moves out of the curtain slowly as you both stood still, making yourself as robotic as possible. even with the mask as your front, you still feel as exposed as ever. the beating of your heart might explode out of your chest as your grasp on the pocket knife is ready to pull it out. biting your bottom lip, you let it stand before you as it scans your face. and it seems to recognize the familiar visual of the character’s face. its tall figure looms over both of you before it runs towards the bigger stage.

its heavy footsteps echo in the room as you stare at it moving away. your mind was too distracted by the animatronic that even a small, bitter touch on your exposed skin startled you. turning around, you find two people in chica and foxy masks.

your breath heave as you perceived the familiar touch of sunoo and the tousled hair that only belongs to taeyoung. the boy points towards the arcade area as all of you approach it. the clanking in the kitchen is still prominent enough as you stood beside the door.

“how’d you know the masks work?” sunoo asked as they gave out both of your backpacks back to their rightful owners.

“they have a facial recognition system. (y/n) suggests that masks might work so they see us as one of them.” yuna’s hand still grips your shoulder as you felt the wrench on her hand, swaying from the weight.

“we’re gonna get ou-“

the sound of an open draping cloth distracts you. your eyes follow the sound of it, the animatronic comes out from the stage as you see bonnie on stage. your breathing is calm and your mind is collected from the non-reactive way foxy did. but this is different as the sound of a ripping cloth filled the air. the bunny animatronic jumps down towards you and rushes towards you, letting out a gargled electrical scream that covers the music box from freddy.

“GUYS!” you exclaimed, but the animatronic only focuses towards you. the sound of the barging door opening from the side. chica’s laugh filled the room as you and yuna let go of each other and you pushed the others away as you let bonnie be distracted by you.

flicking open your pocket knife, you scattered towards the stage as bonnie jumps over the table to get to you. the rotting table legs collapsing as your hand still grips your backpack strap that is not on your shoulder properly. but the animatronic is too fast for your liking, from their taller stature to their mechanical limbs.

your backpack was caught as you pull it out of the animatronic, seeing it pulling as best as it can. its jaw opens and your tired body can’t hold itself up as your strength is lost against the robot. the eyes that are sticking to the endoskeleton are lifeless but reflect something that you have seen in other humans.

rage.

the robot growls as you’re being pulled against your might. the edge of the bonnie mask you’re wearing is pulled along your head with the strength of the conflicting forces, creating a flame to your skin senses. your head is almost near its wide-open jaw as you try hitting it with your knife; not applicable and only cut through the fur. not handling it well, you pushed the jaw apart with both of your hands.

your hearing is only focusing on the animatronic in front of you, making you didn’t expect the blow to the animatronic head as the eyeholes of your mask move nowhere near your eyes. pulsing bloodstream flowed to your palm as warmth wrapped around your wrist and drag you. trickling fluid coming out and dripping from your fingers as you still hold on to your pocket knife, not letting it go. you let your legs drag you along with the being that pulls you as it pushes you inside the room.

the heavy footsteps that followed you come to a halt as a loud bang comes before followed by the muffled one. you heard haggard breath as the sound of a large object scraping on the floor. something holds your shoulders up and you let your legs bring you somewhere else. but your vision is flickering as the black spots appear, tinnitus in your ear, your body getting heavy, and you can’t open your eyes anymore.

the void embraces you as your body shuts down.

03.00

something drips out from your lips.

hushes and the rustle of paper is all around you.

your hand fidgets as the pain spreads all around once again. opening your eyes, you were met with a blurry vision and light pointing towards the ceiling, painting it white instead of the musky grey. wooden marks from the ceiling tell you that this room in risk of leaking and might make the beam fall if not careful enough.

your lips are chapped as you sense a tear come down from the corner of your eyes, becoming clearer after each and every drop has fallen.

“oh gosh!” someone gasps as you felt your body being enveloped tightly. their hair tickles your nostrils but you needed the hug. your goosebumps grow as the coldness your body is showing is reduced by the warmth.

“you’re okay!” they whispered to you, pressing their palm against your cheek—a barrier that doesn’t allow the skin to skin contact makes a vertical down from under your eye to your jaw.

“sun?” you speak, a hoarse voice coming out as you see sunoo’s face. his smile is still as wide as ever, even with a smudge of thick dust on his cheeks.

“i’m here...” he whispered, holding onto your hand that is covered by something thin. noticing your expression, he lifts your hand so you could examine it. a bandage wrapped around your skin as you find a bloomed red coming from the palm.

“your tired body, adrenaline, and loss of blood make you instantly pass out as i brought you here. i tried to patch you up as best as i could.” sunoo answered your unspoken question, giving you the water bottle that he was trying to get you to sip even with your unconscious body.

“time?” you questioned, holding the water bottle as it still trembles in your hold. the soothing sensation wets your dry cavern as the water rushes down inside your digestive system.

“past 3. half past 4 actually,” he replied whilst looking at the lit phone in his hand. your eyes wander to the dim room, seeing the shelves rising above you like skyscrapers. a gallon of something looking like bleach is resting on one shelf—probably only left with its evaporated dust.

“we’re still in the pizzeria. locked in a cleaning cupboard of some sort.” his words reminded you of the locations of the map that are burnt into your mind. two out of three are identified. then the last room is security.

but when you touch the thin mattress beneath you, you became more alert as you can see a hole in one of the walls. through it, more shelves are standing and you can identify the familiar silhouette of brooms and mops.

“we’re deeper in it though. bonnie was still clawing at the door before i move one of the shelves over to hold the door close. then i found the hole, and it looks like someone lived here.” sunoo continued. one side of his face is shone by the flashlight, sitting with his knees now tuck to his chest.

“it’s a safe room of sorts, but by the messy mattress i found and newspapers. someone must have lived here.” your eyes wander to the pile of paper that sits beside him, scattered around the floor and a few near the edge of the mattress. you followed his hand as he picks one up and gives it to you. sitting up your body, you find the most comfortable position for you to read. eyebrows raised as you examine the headline.

Kids vanish at local pizzeria—bodies not found. Two local children were reportedly lured into a back room during the late hours of operation at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza on the night of June 26th. While video surveillance identified the man responsible and led to his capture the following morning, the children themselves were never found and are presumed dead.

Police think that the suspect dressed as a company mascot to earn the children’s trust.

“i tried to trace where these came from and a few of them led back to the missing person incident in the main branch of freddy fazbear’s pizza. but look at this.” he then shuffles some pages around as he pulls one out and gives it to you.

Four children reported missing in our town’s very own Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. Investigators link the incident to other similar incidents occurring in the other franchises.

the news was concise. telling you that there might be ten or more missing children that are scattered across the different franchises that are open. it is suspected that the same motive is done between all these franchises: children allegedly lured into a backroom during late hours.

sunoo then gave you another clipping that read “Local pizzeria threatened with shutdown over sanitation.” one about the main building while a few related ones about the other local franchises also, including your town.

“the others and i tried our freaking best to piece these up. they’re now stuck in the kitchen,” he said as he know you might wonder about yuna and taeyoung. “but i think this is when your knowledge comes to help. you knew more about these stories than anybody in our friend group. wikipedia doesn’t even give any straightforward answers.”

the boy moves so he could sit beside you, shoulder to shoulder. your fingertips still run against the pile you allowed him to stack on your lap as sunoo continues to open his phone, glancing your eyes to see the group chat.

you pat his arm to help you fetch your backpack, finding it as battered as ever with one strap hanging for dear life with a piece of string to not break. sipping the water bottle to help you better, your brain is much more awake that a few moments ago. the gears in them are turning as you open the notebook and scribble everything you know. the founders. the original five missing children. animatronic going haywire. unpleasant odor. and you trace each newspaper clipping to create the most effective timeline you could create. some of the newspaper has its ink bleed from the moist on it, but you decipher it as best as you could.

“yuna said that you speculate the animatronics are possessed?” sunoo questioned as you skim the words on the clipping before putting it aside. you hummed as a reply, mind to focus on connecting all the dots as best as you can.

whilst opening a few pages, something slipped out of the pile and landed on the tiled floor beside you. dashing to get a grip on the corner of the rectangular paper. you picked it up and sunoo shines the light from your flashlight onto it.

“a cheque...” the boy spoke as you scan the words.

mike schmidt. $120. valued employee.

the reflection of the flashlight shines more than the ink from the front side you are reading. flipping it around, you see a written note almost in cursive as you tried your best to read.

Father. It’s me, Michael. I’ve followed along your trails of blood even to the towns outside of ours. I’ve seen each and every one of your creations, from how they react to how they’ve smelled because of you. They all seem to recognize me because they thought I was you. No trace of your golden bunny suit means you’re not here. Something has gone terribly for me. But I will try my best to find you... I’m going to come find you.

“michael?” sunoo muttered, your eyes peeking at him as he realizes something and typed in something in a browser’s search engine. the result comes out immediately as he presses on the link on one of the founders. william afton.

“no way...” he mumbled, skimming the web page as you lean in against him. his sturdy shoulder holding you one before stopping at one section.

“‘nothing is much known about what happened to afton, but he had mentioned that he wanted his son, michael, to continue his legacy’... michael is william’s son.” sunoo turns his head towards you, so close to yours as you can felt his breath on your cupid’s bow.

“wait, wait, w-“ you push your hand out as your mind goes into overdrive. all the information you have in your mind pinning up against the surface of your brain, ready to be pieced onto your inner corkboard.

michael is william afton’s son.

golden bunny suit.

missing children lured by an employee.

odor from the animatronics.

their unusual frantic acts with metal bodies.

bonnie being aggressive towards you, who was wearing a bonnie mask.

looking up, you gaze at sunoo who is tilting his head, watching you putting the puzzle pieces together.

“they’re dead. the missing children are dead...”

“uh- okay..? that is so grim.” sunoo lets out a reply before you hold his hand.

“i mean, listen. they’re dead and they possessed the animatronic endoskeletons. okay, let me just-“ you picked up your notebook so sunoo can see, pencil on hand as you create underlines under the missing children incident.

“so ‘kids vanish at local pizzeria-bodied not found’ leading to the suspicions of an employee luring them back into the backroom of the restaurant. that means an employee-only area which we know by schematics on the place is the kitchen, parts and service, stage area, supply closet, and security office.” the graphite creates a line between the phrases and keywords you wrote on the paper.

“because of the vanishing bodies, either they were kidnapped or murdered on the spot. but i suggest the latter because...” you make a line between the sentence to the one above it. “the animatronics has an unpleasant odor, relating it to the pizzerias that are succumbing to lawsuits and eventually shutting down.”

sunoo continues following the line you made as you connect the employee to william afton, “i suspect william is the killer because of what michael said, ‘no trace of your golden bunny suit’. i have a guess that he has been searching for the father. and- believe it or not...”

you wrote something you remember by memory about the pizzeria that you didn’t write yet, “both the founders had to use this spring-lock animatronic costume in the early years of their business. william uses a golden bonnie suit...”

“so you’re saying the founder just commit a killing spree?” he questioned as you reply with a hum of agreement.

“i’ve seen discussion on forums on why both of them dissolve. many suggest that they have this business rivalry—unmatched vision, one has more power than the other—because afton also has his own company called afton robotics...” you write the name of the company right beside the two aftons.

sunoo grips one end of the piece of paper, eyes trailing down the content before speaking, “william is on the run for revenge and michael is trying to find him...”

“that and he’s trying to hurt the efforts of his former business partner. he must have done this killing spree on many freddy fazbear’s pizza locations. and if he want to leave no trace, he had to stuff the bodies into the animatronics, fusing their soul to the metals.” you replied, leaning back against the wall.

“that’s why i got attacked by bonnie for wearing the bonnie mask, how it’s more aggressive towards me. the child that possesses that must remember the bunny suit-wearing man that killed them, also all of us who are still human and alive. they’re sad and angry about what somebody has done to them. they’re stuck in limbo now, unable to rest in peace...”

you felt sunoo’s hand on yours, interlacing his fingers with yours and putting them on his thigh. his eyes strain on your face, glancing at your trembling lips as you empathize with what the children faced that is so unfair. ripping their lives because of a crazed man hungry for revenge.

“what do you want to do?” sunoo asked. even with your glum eyes, he can still detect how your mind is thinking about something. pupils frantically move around as you gulp down your saliva.

“we have to help them let go of this world. help them tether the connection here to let them rest.” you lean your head against his shoulder, his thumb rubbing softly on your dorsal as you let your legs stretch. seeing his feet beside yours reminds you of when you are children, sitting on the grass in the playground by your school, gazing at your friends who are dangling off the monkey bars or sliding down the slide. realizing the approximate time age of the kids that possessed the animatronics, you got reminded that they are also around your age. but because of what happened, they’re unable to grow up and live their life. instead, they’re stuck to a robot suit.

sunoo’s phone screen lights up both of your faces as he typed in all that you spoke to him about. your phone vibrates beside you—letting them talk about things as you collect your thoughts. you glance to see yuna using taeyoung’s phone saying their worries and how tragic all of this is.

“as much as i want to escape...” your eyes move to look at sunoo’s face as best as you can before he continues, “having second thoughts about what you’re saying and... yeah... they’re kids. those animatronics are kids who are frustrated and stuck.”

more vibration can be heard between both of your phones together as you let sunoo be your messenger, “i agree. we should help them rest- we should meet up and talk about it and also help convince them.”

you nodded your head, lifting and turning your head to him. a thin smile on your face as you stretch your wounded hand. “the security room is our best bet. right near all of us, correct?”

“yup...” he replied as he pushes himself, his hand outstretched to you to help you stand up as you gather your items—sunoo helping you put on your nearly breaking backpack. he handed you your pocket knife and you swiftly open it, seeing blood on the ridge as you look at your reflection; your blood. the makeshift mirror shows your wounded face as sunoo’s phone screen is shining the side, typing away to tell the other two to meet up at the security office.

ducking out of the hole of the safe room hidden in the depths of the cleaning closet, sunoo pushed the shelf from the door as you glance at your phone one last time before tucking it in your pocket.

04.00

the clicking of the door catches your attention as sunoo leads both of you. his head turning right, then left as before he jutted his head towards the right side as you move in front of him. he is still wearing his mask as his eyes turned towards the larger space as you move deeper into the hallway. ripped posters decorated the wall on one side, as the other is a window bordered up by planks from the outside. even with minimal lighting, you could see the open doorway at the end of the hall.

flicking turning left from a poster, you were met with an open office area. on one side is a cracking wall with a small bed for sleeping and cabinets you can assume are used for storing pieces of information—unless they’re eaten by termites. your flashlight turns to the other side, seeing a similar open doorway across from where you are before going to the left. the wall is covered with papers sticking onto the concrete: a large poster of the fabulous four animatronics dominates most of the wall before you move your spotlight to the side, coming across the structured map of the pizzeria. that is until you notice pictures of people right underneath it.

footsteps approaching you as you step closer to the desk, eyes gazing at the fan and old boxy computer desktop that is full of dust. sunoo entered the doorway you came in from before both of you were distracted for a few seconds by the sound of an open door on the other side. seeing the shadow of two people running as carefully as they entered the room. heaves of breath flowing between all of you as you give them a smile when they pull off their masks. yet, your sense still stay at the pictures as you stepped aside.

there are four different pictures in four different forms stuck onto a wall with staplers. shining closely at it, your hand pauses as you let the sound of sunoo explain the theory you two made. you let the flashlight shines on the pictures, colors fading along with the degrading paper. but features are smooth enough that you can examine them clearly. staring at the top of the papers, you identify a recognizable logo and its description.

these are missing person reports from the police. all of them are children.

scanning through the report, all of them has the same information on the last seen part.

‘Last seen at the local Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza.’

your hand reaches to pull them out, eyes looking closely as you can look at the sparks coming from the faulty and near-broken wiring, all connecting to one main switchboard with numerous other switches; divided into left and right for both lights and doors. recalling other than the exterior light, you could remember that the lights flicker back in the bathroom—electricity is still running through the building’s vicinity.

“guys...” you spoke and turn around. their flashlight shines their face ominously until you caught the two faces you hadn’t seen in the past hour. taeyoung has a bandage on his forehead while yuna has watering eyes, guessing it’s from the story that sunoo told them.

“aw (y/n)...” yuna sighed as you see her hand reaching for your bandage one. grimacing at her touch, you find taeyoung letting out a small smile while shaking your arm as carefully as to not hurt you more.

“i’ve told them the summary of our deduction and our idea to set them free.” sunoo said as you stood in front of them who are sitting on the bed.

“and we agree. they’re kids that are treated freaking unfairly by the world and they should deserve a rest. even thinking about it makes me so angry.” taeyoung spoke as you let out a snicker.

“thanks, guys. how did you two even survive in the kitchen, especially if it’s chica’s ‘place’?” you give an air quote.

“chica bangs on the kitchen door so much that we have to push the metal tables to both doors and sat in the middle of the kitchen so it couldn’t step inside. we also have the server hole that we used to peek outside at the animatronics.” yuna answered before noticing the paper you are holding in your other hand.

you give one of them for each of you as you let them read it through. you glance back at sunoo, his eyebrow folded from the information.

“they’re the children that possess this location’s animatronic,” you answered their unspoken question as you read the paper in your hand.

“in my hand is a report about junhao zhong. age 6 when he died. his parents described him as a child who is very active, especially running. the last time they see him, they remember him running around the tables in the dining area.” you read the information as briefly as possible, eyes lingering on the boy’s photo before you face the others.

yuna spoke after you, “her name is hanako yamamoto. she was 9 when she disappeared. in her description, it said that she likes freddy fazbear’s pizza a lot and that she could visit up to 4 or 5 times per week. she has a pretty chubby build to her because she loves eating.”

taeyoung leans his body forward and clears his throat, “this kid’s name is sei lee. she was 8. her parents describe her as a creative kid. likes to sing, likes to dance, likes to draw. one of her favorite past times here is drawing freddy and friends while they are on stage and meeting new friends.”

“and last but not least. we have kit murray. he is 11 when he died, the oldest of the bunch based on what each of you has told me. he is an avid freddy fazbear’s pizza fan. he had nearly all of his birthdays here after he became a big fan. he even spends the day after school here by himself or with his other friends. his favorite was bonnie based on this.” sunoo said as you look between them all, trying to figure out something that is stuck in your mind.

“what did you say about the girl?” you pointed towards yuna.

“hanako likes to eat-“

you snap your fingers as you contain your excitement at figuring something up, pointing towards the paper as you said with gritted teeth, “chica also likes to eat, right? it’s always in the kitchen most of the time.”

“right- wait. oh, shoot!” taeyoung’s face reflects yours as he also does the same gestures right at you.

“the girl is chica!” he exclaimed as quietly as possible as you nod your head. taeyoung seems to shake yuna’s body as he stares at him, speaking with his eyes to her as your mind is running everywhere on this.

“we could figure out which one of them is which...” sunoo cuts in as he stares at yuna’s shaken body by taeyoung before she then replied.

“taeyoung and i have been observing them so we can help with identifying their characteristics.”

“nice!” you emphasize the last syllable as you continue, “okay, about junhao being active-“

“foxy rounds around the room so much. he’s definitely the fox.” yuna jumps in as you see all of them nodding their head.

“now we only have kit and sei...” taeyoung mumbles as you tried to understand as best as you can. you want to assume kit is bonnie but you don’t expect afton will be that caring to have him reserved for his favorite character. your eyes glance at sunoo who is reading kit’s report.

“he’s 11...” he muttered. “and he loves freddy’s fazbear pizza. i’m just shooting it, but based on his age and his love for the franchise, he must’ve had great memories with it.”

“what are you saying, sun?” taeyoung asked, head tilted with curiosity.

“bonnie became aggressive after it looked at (y/n) wearing a bonnie mask. at first, i thought it was because the soul recognized the character masks match the same as who they are now but i was wearing a foxy mask and foxy stared right at me and he didn't become aggressive. it’s definitely more on the soul that is connected to the animatronic, not its system.” sunoo stood up as he turned towards you. you felt something warm on your covered hand as you find his hand in yours.

“11-year-olds are more developed, especially in relating to logic and action. him being the oldest helps because he could’ve figured out that the killer, william, wears a golden bonnie suit, especially since it’s his favorite character.”

“and that’s why he became aggressive when he looked at me. he thought i was him,” you mumbled, your memories return to the encounter you had with the animatronic. the eyes bonnie has: lifeless yet full of rage at the same time. he remembers the character that killed him.

“consensus says yes for kit is bonnie and sei is freddy.” taeyoung said as you all nodded.

“and we’ve seen freddy playing with its music box the whole time so it relates to her creativity too. but the thing is they’re more aggressive now knowing we're here.” yuna’s voice laced with resistance before continuing. “if we don’t act fast, they might actually notice that we’re here. so how can we do that?”

you glance at sunoo, his hand gripping yours carefully yet tight as he seems to understand what you’re guessing about.

“since the animatronics are made of metal and we can’t bury them or let them roam around other people.” you give sunoo’s hand a squeeze with yours.

“our only way to help them is to burn the building...”

05.00

it takes time for such a meticulous plan to be done in such an incomplete situation. and it took more than one hour to make the arrangements. yet, you persist and create the best plan all of you can conduct. you have your phone open as you are ready to click on the group call you are planning. your back against the desk, you gaze at your friends who are packing up their things. your eyes linger on your best friend for a beat too long. he had almost a pout that makes you want to giggle from the cuteness.

“remember, once i turn on the switchboard, the electricity will run to my area. there’s a chance that the animatronics will focus on me especially since i can control everything in the room. you all know your tasks, right?”

a chorus of agreement replies towards you as you gave them a nod before hugging them one by one. you smooth down taeyoung’s bandage on his forehead before giving him a pat on his shoulder as he lets go and leaves first. yuna is next as she hugs you tightly before she left for her task. your eyes landed on sunoo who has a stern facade on his face before it softens.

“you’re okay with leading the ship?” he asked as he reaches for your bandaged hand. the blood that seeps into the fabric has dry with leftover haemoglobins creating a maroon color.

“yeah...” you replied, falling out of your confidence as you stare at him. stepping closer, he interlocks both of your hands in his.

“listen, i-“ sunoo inhales before he continues. “if this doesn’t work or any of us are hurt by what we’re doing. i want to say that i care for you so much you don’t know how much. i was in tears while i was patching you up. you were bleeding so mu-“

you cut him off with a kiss on the corner of his lips, ending his monologue early as you glance back at him. letting go of his hand, you let yours trail up his arms before you held both of his shoulders, firming him up.

“i also care for you more than you think, sun. we’re gonna pin this, okay? it will work. you also plan this with every knowledge you know.” you pat his shoulders as he follows your nodding.

“okay, i’ll hear you on the call?”

“of course...” you replied as he retreated, stepping away to the door you came from as you turn towards the switchboard. the light of your phone screen is turned on and you can see the depleting battery. opening your group chat’s interface, you enter the group call—the only one inside as you waited for the rest to join in.

bracing yourself, you switch the main button on the switchboard and hear the buzzes fading in. the electricity now runs into the security office. the box screen turns on and the camera feeds show up, lights flickering on at the table and in the room, and even the fan turns on as it hums to create a solemn atmosphere if it isn’t for the sound of your friends entering the group call.

your eyes flicker to the screen as you watch the cathode-ray tube materials creating moving images of your locations throughout the night. with the joystick beside the switchboard, half of your screen focuses on one camera feed from the grid—no cameras in the kitchen or the supply closet. the feeds are black and white as you can only distinguish lights, items, and beings between each of the monochromatic spectrum.

“chica’s approaching you, taeyoung.” yuna speaks calmly in your talkie system when you pick up the sound of rummaging layers of walls from you. the sound becomes closer and closer as you turn the switch for the door to your right. it falls on the door frame, creating a thud as you glimpse at the switchboard bar right at the top, showing the amount of electricity left to be used.

pressing carefully on the lights button so you don't run the electricity out, you see chica’s silhouette from the small window by the side of the door. you hold your breath as the dark figure comes closer before it approaches the kitchen door, barging in with a loud noise. you could listen further from the call at the crackling sound of the animatronic trashing the kitchen for more pizza or food. that’s when you glance at one of the stages, seeing foxy’s head peeking out of the curtain.

“sun don’t step out no-“ you exclaimed as the animatronic ran to the side. with your swift reaction, you immediately close the door to your left and open the one on the right. you picked up scratches from the other side of the closed door as foxy shoves his face to the window.

“hi junhao...” you spoke as he pauses, seemingly realizing what you called him. the animatronic face moved back to its menacing phase as he continues staring at you. flickering the lights on the left. you catch him being distracted by the light and you behind the window. the correct moment for you to mumble, “you can move out now, sun. and watch out for bonnie. he’s by the stage.”

“got it...” the boy speaks as you distract foxy more. your sight goes back-to-back from the window and to the screen. in it, you see sunoo’s silhouette walking to the arcade area, ducking by the fallen and standing cabinets.

“i heard freddy’s music box. be careful, yuna!” said the boy as foxy’s moving away from the door, letting you open it to conserve energy. sunoo continues to duck as he looks behind him to meet foxy emerging from the hallway. the animatronic walks in a stance before he pronounces towards the stage, kicking anything that is on its way as it caught bonnie's attention. but not as long as you hope.

staring at the boxy monitor, you focus on the one by the hallway to the reception as freddy walks by the entrance before moving away. movements are there in the shadows. looking closely as you lean your body near the screen, yuna is hiding by the bench and fallen decorations, obscure by the darkness that is so grain-like to your eyes of the camera.

“(y/n), bonnie’s coming!”

you switched on both lights as you couldn’t guess where he comes from. the footsteps are too fade out as you decide to let the door close on both sides. feeling the rising panic internally as you flicker both lights, you jumped as half of bonnie’s body is visible by the window.

“you guys are in position?” you mumbled, focusing on the animatronic before you note the electricity that is depleting quick. a chorus of yes came in when you turn to bonnie once again. yet he stays there, standing idle. you tried to not do anything more on the switchboard other than letting the right door switch on.

“we gonna have to do this fast ‘cause the security office is depleting its energy fast. distract them towards me.”

your statement is then met by the sound of clicks and clanks from your call. on the screen, you look at freddy approaching the main hallway as chica’s laugh is followed—yuna steps out of the shadow as she creates something on the floor. the bear animatronic is approaching you fast as you yelled to get more of their attention; letting your plan go faster. sunoo gives a small glance at the camera he knows you are seeing as your shout makes each of the robot’s dangerous sides show once again.

you let them knock on the steel doors and you can see all your friends doing the plan. yuna is trailing along the papers and boxes she could as sunoo helps her as he pours out something out of one of the gallons that he brought. taeyoung is still not found as you can still hear the rummages in the kitchen.

your finger pads clench against your wounded palm, the pain is the constant reminder for you to stay awake and realistic. the knocking of the metal-on-metal is becoming more and more prominent even louder. you glance at both doors where you find dents forming on the barrier and screeching scratches all made into a cacophony to distract you.

“taeyoung, how are you doing?”

“almost there, don’t worry,” he replied.

yuna went out of the group call along with sunoo as they approach the tables, so your voice doesn’t distract them from doing their part and caught the giant machineries' attention.

“if you’re done, step out of the kitchen by the party rooms.”

taeyoung hums when you watch the energy bar decreases. two bars now becoming one as you are approaching your last 10%. you try not to panic, trusting your friends too much as you close and breathe as best as you can. the punching on the metal and impenetrable glass windows becomes background sound as you see that taeyoung is now outside of the group call from your small peek to your own screen.

your phone is hot in your hands as you turn the call off and pocket it. your backpack sways behind you as you peer at your friends outside from the boxy screen. taeyoung coming out from the kitchen doors farthest from you, a radiant light by him as the grey becomes lighter in the black and white feed. glancing at the electricity, you only have 2%. a few more seconds and your protection will be gone as the door will rise back to its inactive status; wide open.

the animatronic seems to notice it too as the lights inside the security office are flickering and the fan now turning off. each second passes and more electric appliances turn off. the monitor shuts down as you relay every last bit of the electric current so the doors can survive. you can survive.

in the deepest part of your heart, you might actually be ready for this; to succumb with the restaurant.

“HEY!”

a muffled shout pierced through the clanks as you watch them all turn towards the hallway and scurry away. their focus stayed on it as the doors slams up, exposing you. and in a beat, you run to the left side, seeing the emergency exit beside the stage.

heat spreads through the room as the animatronics gather at the center of the room. flame spreading fast as it all lits up any flammable material and substance it has on its way. you listened to harrowing screams coming from the center as the voice box machinery they have burned along with their metal bodies. they scream out of pain as they seem more alive than ever. you fast walk as you look at the abomination. bonnie’s eyes stare at you when you didn’t see any rage inside, but content.

“come on, (y/n)!” someone pulls you by your arm as you turn to face sunoo who is dragging you to the exit that is slowly going into flames. pushing the door open, you were met with the outside air after nearly six hours of staying inside. the sun peeks behind the trees at the east as the flame is ever so close to the door. sunoo pushes a big dumpster outside before you realize it and come to help, putting it to rest by the door as it's going to be harder for something inside to go out.

“the others are by the entrance.” sunoo with energy still going on surging in him, helps drag you as you run past the playground to meet yuna and taeyoung, who finished locking the lock to the main entrance. in the distance, you hear a honk. you all instantly run to it.

you couldn’t be happier to see a car.

“hey, losers! how is it-“ serim voice pitches up as his smug face turns to worry as you all approach the car.

“why is the building on fire-“

“GO NOW!” his little brother said as he sits shotgun. you’re back in your center seat between sunoo and yuna. serim presses down on the gas, the car lurching away as all four of you are panting. your eyes stared at the screen at the front as a radio fm plays an old 80s arena rock song. specifically on the clock at the top corner.

06.00

you felt your weight falling off your shoulders, letting you rest your head against sunoo’s beside yours. your hand in his as he brushes your skin.

“the hell was that? taeyoung?” serim questioned as you drive out of the forest to be met by the asphalt street, approaching society. the sun is now more visible as the car came out of the woods. it shines the new day and a new page for all of you.

yet all of you are too stunned to speak. you specifically can’t. your mind brought you back to the last eye contact you had with bonnie and the one pause you had with foxy when you mention his name. their aggressive machinery seems to cover their pain and sadness, especially with their young ages. but your eye contact with bonnie lingers as you view the content in his eyes. how he now knows what all of you are trying to do. to help them out. to set them free.

“it’s the electricity. the current is still on even with the old and broken cable and it created a fire in one of the rooms.” taeyoung mumbles, saying the explanation that you all suggest if serim or his dad asked what happened to the property. “i know we failed. it’s just getting to danger-“

“nah. i was about to call you to get you out,” serim asked, he glances behind from the rearview mirror. “all of you running to me makes my job easier. i thought all of you guys are asleep somewhere in the corner. and what the heck happened to your forehead?”

“he got hit by one of the doors.” sunoo lays out another lie to help cover it up. “the kitchen door is swingy and heavy even with the dust and trash inside.”

you all let the radio play the music as the car approaches your neighborhood, parking by the block corner that you also went to last midnight. stepping out of the car, you and sunoo let out small “thank you”s to serim and your farewell to your friends as you walk by the sidewalk, hand in hand.

yet your thoughts return to the moments before all of you begin the plan. sunoo’s sudden confession even in front of danger’s door, and you say the same to help him calm down. but you do. you care about him more than friends and you’re willing to try with him.

“we did it, right?” your voice rings between you two as sunoo giggles. you notice more soot and dust on both of his cheeks and how puffy his eyes become because of the lack of sleep.

“yeah... you have a lot of things on your mind...” you can’t help to let out a smile as he sees through you.

“it's... before you drag me away... i saw bonnie looking at me. i thought kit’s gonna attack me before i see his eyes. how at peace he is. how he’s telling me he is okay with his sight...” you watch both of your houses in your sight approaching closer.

“you did right. we all did. we help them rest peacefully.” sunoo reassured you as you approached the window you left. the gap is still there to let him open the window and for you to climb in. the bed is left a mess so that if anyone comes, both of you are still inside. seeing no difference, you let out a sigh as neither of sunoo’s parents seems to check on him before you let out a yawn.

sunoo plops down on his bed after pulling out his shoes as he opens his arm for you. your legs brought you to him as you lay down on the other side, grateful for the soft mattress he has.

“you knew i reciprocate your feelings, right?” eyes glancing at the boy.

he hums before speaking, “do we wanna do something about it?”

“i do but....” yawn came from you. “i need some sleep... and you too. you look so tired.”

he wraps his hand around your wrist before you move to let him hold you more.

“we should discuss after we get our deserving sleep,” he agreed, pulling the duvet so that it covers both of you.

-

you see the stack of cash on the table after taeyoung pulls it out. divided into four different stacks before he pushes to each three of you.

“thanks for making my brother broke, guys. he couldn’t even go clubbing anymore.” taeyoung said with a smirk on his face.

“anything to help your brother go a step away from alcohol poisoning.” yuna replied as you all giggled. the commotion in the cafeteria hall masked your conversation as all of you swiftly pluck one stack to be put into your bag.

“how’s the cut on your palm, bestie?” yuna nudges your shoulder with her own.

“it’s healing. i didn’t know it was that deep until i realize that it's because of me holding onto the blade while trying not to get my head chomped by bonnie.” you replied, turning it as trivial as ever as you don’t want the weight to get heavier. all of you spend your sunday healing up from the trip at the start of the day. no communication with each other as you tried to cope with each other, but you spend your time with sunoo instead.

it became more like an impromptu date as he asked you if you want lunch outside. knowing the change between you two’s relationship, you agree and you now see sunoo in a different light like he is towards you. locking your fingers seems to be the perfect pda for both of you who are very new to this.

“we shouldn’t ask (y/n) that.” taeyoung retorts. “we should ask about their date yesterday.”

the two giggle as you glance at sunoo who has his signature sassy look.

“it went well for us. we’re taking it real slow now,” sunoo said as you nod your head.

“that’s right. plus y’all have to change your mindset to always be our third and fourth wheels.” it’s now your and sunoo’s turn to snicker as the two jokingly roll their eyes.

the recess progressed as usual with a new light to it. the fact that all of you survive a dangerous situation. older you must think it’s stupid, to get paid for staying in a haunted place for six hours. but those six hours will stick in your mind for a long time now.

you let your eyes focus on your phone as you scroll down something on your timeline. the three’s conversation is becoming background sound that you could understand tiny bits. but your mind immediately mutes it as your eyes read the words that make you stop scrolling.

“guys...” your words cut through to their conversation as they all turn towards you.

“'the cult-favorite local pizzeria, freddy fazbear’s pizza, is planning to make a horror attraction called fazbear frights.’” you read and spoke the headline as you scroll down on the article, letting out a gasp as you continue.

“‘the owners of the attraction have salvaged and searched every remaining franchise to find animatronics for their attraction but only to find them torn apart or destroyed.'”

“that’s why dad is furious yesterday.” taeyoung exclaimed as he looks at all of you. “the fire makes the property cost plummet, especially with the pizzeria intact now burnt. he must’ve known that he could sell it again without cleaning it up.”

all of you hummed as you continue to scroll down and speak, “'fortunately, the owners already have one animatronic in their arsenal. an original animatronic dating back to years of history for the infamous restaurant chain.’”

“what animatronic?” sunoo exclaimed, meeting your stern eyes as you lift it up to look at your friends. your grip on the phone becomes so tight that you sag your shoulders to help you relax. gulping down your saliva, you finally say it.

“a golden bunny animatronic.”

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the stage screens crawl from both sides as the sound of the fans cheering and screaming is muffled behind his in-ear monitors on both sides. eyes closed tight, his breathing slowed as he rose up from the deep bow he had given—a near 90-degree angle. slowly, his eyes opened, and he smiled as widely as he could, feeling the breeze of the space coming from the venue towards him and grazing his skin. a spacious grin plastered on his face as he waved goodbye. his silhouette is still noticeable from the other side, as the volume of the cheers increases with his little movement. though blurry, he could see from the little crack in the moving machinery of the screen at the front of the stage, showing what happens as he doesn't stop waving his hand. the crack closes and darkness envelops him. the spotlight shines on no one before it dims.

heeseung can finally breathe out the breath he was holding back, relaxing the grip he is holding onto his handheld microphone as his hand unconsciously trembles—pouring something out that he had kept inside of himself ever since the start of the world tour.

he did it.

he finished his concert in london. he finished the final leg of his tour, the tour that has taken him nearly to every region on earth.

when turning his head to the side as he carefully pulls out one of his in-ear buds, his breathing staggers as heeseung felt his feet becoming wobbly. all of the energy he didn't realise was depleted out of him is now felt as his lifted hand that was waving before slams down, the gravity pulling it—no more energy to hold it up any longer. his grip on the mic didn't let go, but he held his upper body upright as much as it could actually sustain him, knees buckling down to land him on the ground of the stage. but before he fully collapses, he drags himself a few steps down to the wing, where his manager, minhyun, stood by. the man notices heeseung's drowsy self, leaning in ways that don't resemble the person on stage a few minutes ago.

"hyung…" he stammered, putting his hand on the older man's shoulders. sound of rummaging wakes him up as he watches the assistant managers and stylists now on each side of him as his manager hyung wraps his arm around the younger's shoulders. the staff brought him towards the chair at the wing of the stage, the very same chair that he sat hours prior whilst preparing to get on stage. the whirlling sound of portable fans hit his face as the cool air fights against his drowsy eyelids. the small cylinder of a straw poking at his parted lips as he captures it and suck the air and cold water; all of the sensations waking him up. smooth pats with a towel clean his sweaty skin as the boy can only let out a dumb smile when he sees his manager chuckle.

"you actually did it, kid!" heeseung felt minhyun shaking his shoulders before gripping one of his hands. the overwhelming happiness flowing out of that dumb smile slowly became a tear fest as he turned to his stylist, who was gently cleaning his makeup off his face, now wiping against the fallen tears that came out like a ruptured dam. heeseung's breathing now became sobs as the rush of happiness let the people around him see the joy that emits out of his sluggish figure. yet inside, that happiness slowly turns into despair. to want to go on the stage and greet his fans; to get the adrenaline rush once again. but just like minhyun said before and multiple times in the past, it can be an addiction. and by the state of where he is in right now, he knew his body couldn't handle it and he is one step closer to having a heart attack if he pushes his desire.

it's always been a dream of heeseung to do a world tour ever since he pursued music and he finally did it. from seoul to east asia, southeast asia, south asia, west asia, north america, south america, a few countries in africa, and the last leg, the european tour. heeseung had finally showcased the hours upon hours of practice he had done, the skills he had trained to the utmost level of his capability to the fans around the world. even if he only has a rest of a maximum of five days, including transport between the concert venues and countries—which is a pain on its own—but he finally did it.

but the despair came as he realised that he didn't think far into the future. about what he will do after he finishes his worldwide tour as he goes home and does the encore back in seoul and then takes a deserved long rest. should he start writing the next song again? should he open his laptop to his workstation and scroll through his unfinished tracks to see if any of them have potential? should he push the label to try and contact producers and collaborators he would love to work with now? yet, as he thought about all of it in his mind, he didn't expect the emptiness that was surging through his vessels and nerves right to his very core.

what will happen now?

"the agency gave you a week to rest up before the encore concert in seoul," minhyun replied, seemingly reading his mind when he felt his voice brushing against one of his pierced ears. heeseung's eyes gaze around the stage as the crews move along to tidy up the place. peeking outside from between the stage rigs, he can see the fans also staying, taking as many photos as possible before they leave the venue. many still stayed behind as if they didn't want it to end. heeseung also doesn't want it to end because he doesn't know what he will do after it. but he knows one thing that is a routine he does when he is able.

"i have to soak myself," heeseung mumbles as he bites the straw between his lips. he clutches the water bottle as one of the assistants helps him to stand up and pull off the equipment on his body. then, they guide him to his green room so he could let the merch t-shirt he wore be packed and sent back along with the rest of the core crew.

"you definitely can when we arrive at the hotel, heeseung-ie. you deserve it," minhyun said as heeseung tiredly nodded, arriving in the room as he stepped behind the wooden partition that stood a little taller than him and he pulled off his stage clothes. sweat sticking and running down his skin as the muscles of his legs woke from the exhaustion since he had to dance and move around the stage. tugging on his casual oversized clothes—from torso to the toe—the fabric feels so cool compared to the heated skin of his. brushing the clothes to get rid of the wrinkles, the boy steps out to grab the small towel from his postman's bag as he observes the dissipating crew that is tugging out the supplies. the stylist's sets of cosmetics and tools and the photographer's sets of lenses are all being escorted out, slowly making the room turn back into its default state.

his hair is ruffled from the sweat as he gazes at himself through the mirror, brushing the sweat away from his nape and around his jaw. the area under his eyes darkens from it looking sunken. the door closes as he is left alone in the room to gather his things. the microphone and in-ear monitor cases were already seated near his bag so he could pack them up. tidying his hair with his fingers to look more appropriate, he looked down to see the time on his phone when he found messages from his mom.

eomma 22.05 congratulations on your concert. i'm so proud of you, son 22.05 it's morning time here at home. we can't wait to greet you back tomorrow evening 22.06 go have a nice rest!

heeseung didn't realise the tremor that shows up from reading the messages. a smile cracking his face as he shakes it away, the emotions creating a turmoil in his being as he turns around and gathers his items and bag before leaving the room.

outside, minhyun stood by the door as heeseung gave a nod at him and the rest of the staff to go their merry ways. the footsteps from heeseung's walk echo within the white walls of the backstage area as he follows the green exit sign jutting down from the ceiling. thin smiles being given out left and right to in-house staffs that helped with his show, speeches of "thank you" and "have a good rest" being bounced around. he also walks past posters of previous performers that have held concerts here, from the likes of bob dylan to madonna—a tug lifted the corner of his lips as his name will be plastered amongst them too.

stepping out of the interior, he arrives at the back area where trucks and vans gathered, similar-looking vans to be exact. it is one of his company's deals to set up similar vans so he can use it interchangably, all in a way to confuse the fans as to which van he is using. the main group of crew he brought from korea all entered the different vans.

sliding the door open, heeseung steps into the van with his manager behind him, sitting down in separate seats. he glances at minhyun, who is already writing down inside his thick planner that rested on top of his thigh. the older man gives him a small smile as heeseung fully settles, looking at the driver from the rear view mirror as he signals that the vehicle can move now. the way force works makes him brace himself against the van's cushioned seat. the tinted windows make the outside look like what he'll see with sunglasses on. fences barricade the path for the vans as he could see fans gather by, all looking towards the entourage of vans passing by with flashes being hindered by the tinted filter so they can't see inside the vans—one of which is his. yet, he could hear the known screams of the fans that he had heard from all the continents he had visited. every stop has its own distinction and it doesn't stop with the british fans, too.

but, deep down inside, he doesn't know if he's worthy of this kind of love and adoration at the same time. the fading sounds of exclamations are meters away from his moving vehicle as the entourage splits up in order to confuse the fans. as one of korea's current famous musicians, stalker fans are something of a consequence, especially with how large the fandom is. even he couldn't believe he could be as famous as his labelmate, tomorrow x together, when he sang a more distinct sound than what he called pop music. yet, he himself is the pop music, especially when it comes to domestic charts. people in korea know him, and that level of fame overwhelms him so much that he doesn't know if he can fully adapt to it or not, even if the growth is gradual.

the streets of london are painted with the bright lights of the streetlights and LED signs. he could see the famous red double-decker buses driving around, carrying passengers to their destination. the river thames is outlined with streetlights as he peeks out to see the big ben clock tower—one of the icons of london—as he remembers how close his accommodation is to it. heeseung eyes his manager, who sits back in his seat whilst holding his head—he remembers the older man complaining about how he could easily get dizzy on a moving vehicle when looking at his phone or something adjacent to that. admiration flowed from heeseung about his manager as he remembers his past, how his unsuccessful musician career made him change his path to do background work.

a vocalist himself, minhyun helped heeseung find the correct technique for the boy when he entered the label. he was a literal independent artist at that time, with no current backing at that time, before being asked to join his current label a couple of weeks after. after being taught the correct way for him to breathe whilst voicing out the note he intended from his voice box, heeseung finally understood how he could get rid of the headaches he got every time he finishes a song; never ready enough to continue to another song. minhyun, slowly and seemingly, becomes another brother figure to him, other than his older brother. a brother that is embraced in the flowing notes heeseung sings because of his teaching that he adapts into his own. he wished he could ask minhyun if he wants to sing for his song, but heeseung can see the trauma in the man's eyes every time he or other producers suggest it, something heeseung himself is also familiar with.

stepping out of the van, he sees one of the vans that is holding his other main crew stepping out. all of them flooding into the lobby and he gratefully couldn't see fans straying around the road. as much as he loves his fans, he also wants his privacy to be fulfilled.

minhyun steps in front of him as he mouthed to heeseung, "i'm going to go up first." the younger male nodded as he let his feet move at a slow pace, admiring the hotel he would be staying for one last night before he went back home. it is also a strategy of his company to put him in a hotel that is good enough, but not exactly too expensive or extravagant. many people aim for that kind of hotel if they wanna stalk him as "it is what he deserved", but he wanted to stay in a place a little more quaint than the most luxurious place can offer in each stop. it's why, even though he is placed in central london, his hotel is a few roads away from the main streets where he always sees people walking and shopping.

looking around the lobby area, he can hear the sound of footsteps on top of the marble tiles of the dim lobby of the hotel. the bellboys and staffs give him a small nod and a "good evening", palm wrapping around the strap of his bag as he steps into the space. his eyes wander on the hotel's interior for the first time since he arrived here—jet lag and exhaustion causing him to quickly move and stay in his room to rest up as he couldn't be in an imperfect mode to perform his final show on the tour. heeseung's now sober, much more stable self can see a dark entrance to what must be a small bar owned by the hotel, screams of football fans watching a match from the screen as it is nearing completion with some of them wearing the jerseys of the team playing. he wished he could join them, to at least get in the mood that he is in london where the people are crazy over football, but the way the strains on his muscles react every time he moves screams at him to hurry up to return to his room and rest. and so, he did.

stepping onto the hallway of the lifts, he presses the up arrow as he listens to the hum of the moving gears behind the sliding door that is separating him from a deadly fall to the basement area. his eyes see himself in the blurry reflection of the door. the way his faded bleached light brown hair that is slowly resembling his own natural one is ruffled once again from how he tilts his body around during the van ride; admiring the view of london that he hasn't fully taken in. the corners of his mouth sliding down as he can feel the muscles of his face finally relaxes from how much he had to smile, hurting him in the process when forced too long. when the door slides open as he sees the glowing number and symbol on the screen on top of the door, he steps into the lift as he scans his room's keycard on the scanner before pressing his floor. yet, when the door almost closes, half of an arm slips in between them as the door's sensor reacts to the new passenger.

a girl enters the lift as she pulls out the keycard to her room, when heeseung then watches the eyebrows on her face lift when seeing the button already lit up: the same floor button he pressed before. her hanging pointer finger moves to press the close button as the lift doors follow its command, letting out a huge sigh as she stood next to heeseung. from the appearance, the girl seems to have been having a night out with the outfit she's wearing and the bag with its strap crossing her front. but when he sees through the reflection from the alloy on the lift's door, she is tilting her head down—huffing her breath as it slows from the frantic breaths she was taking. her nails playing along and scratching her fingertips as he couldn't look away from the view.

the chime signals the lift door to be open as heeseung is met with the familiar wall and carpet combo that he recalls when arriving two nights ago. both he and the girl stepped out of the lift as they walked, the carpet muffling their footsteps. he thought he would separate from the girl as she was looking to the other hallway from the branching path from the lift, yet she turned to walk in front of him, ignoring him all this time, while heeseung trails behind her, eyes on the back of her head.

the girl seems to lead him to the way to his room as he lets his body follow her while also scanning the room numbers he went past. as he nears his, he strays away from the line she made towards his room, listening to the steps she made as he expected it to fade away farther down the hallway. yet, he was met with the sound of the beeping as he couldn't stop himself from turning his head, seeing the girl tilting the keycard down from the scanner before turning the handle, pushing the door as she entered the room. the room right beside his. heeseung shakes his head as he returns to his hotel room.

his temporary space is now cleaned up by the room service that had to do their job while he was rehearsing that morning. the light is dim, even the ambience could make him fall asleep. heeseung let his bare feet touch the carpeted floor before he eyes the connecting door in his room; the silhouette of the girl he met on the lift takes shape as he realises that the person he encounters is his next-door neighbour. the way she seems to cower more and more in the small space both of them share is fresh in his mind. yet, he knows he won't see her again tomorrow when he left.

opening the door to the bathroom, his first instance was to turn the bathtub tap open, adjusting it to a warm temperature that he likes. his skincare products were all put in a perfect line by the room service as he left them scattered around on the counter—he didn't have any time to even gather them when minhyun pushed the doorbell to let him know that it was time to go. heeseung took care of himself first before shedding his outfit, feeling the stickiness from his skin reacting to the cold air from the ventilation of the bathroom. he rips open the bath salt he brought from home and pours it into the warm tub, warm enough to melt it down like grains of sugar in a teacup full of brewed tea.

slowly plunging in one of his feet, the boy lets out a deep sigh as the warmth encompasses him, gladly accepting him as he crouches down and lets his back meet the warm water. heeseung's head perfectly leans against the small curved cushion as he lets his dry hand pick up his wireless headphone, covering both of his ears as he scrolls through the music streaming app full of the playlists he curated himself. his thumb presses the play button of his smooth jazz playlist he made. the sound of the piano enters his ears, small in volume before it becomes bigger as the track continues. heeseung closes his eyes as he lets the jazz playing in his ears; he's glad he's an audiophile that invest in good headphones to hear such detail.

behind his closed eyelids, he could envision his dad beside him, sitting on the tiled floor outside of the tub in his childhood home, teaching this very technique of soaking after a long day. when he remembered his dad's face when he was younger, he couldn't believe what a splitting image his old man is to him, even when he has features of his mom—his brother taking most of mom's with a little bit of dad's. heeseung can see it now as he remembers what his dad looked like the last time he saw his family as a whole, wishing deep down that he could also be like that when he is older.

ever since heeseung lived in that home, the bathroom he shares with his brother also has a bathtub-shower combo that they have in the master bathroom—his parents' en-suite bathroom. it was what they desired when they moved to seoul after planning for their renovation to accommodate at least four people. both of them became obsessed with soaking in a bathtub for their evening bath time after they went back from their honeymoon in japan. the boy recalled hearing dad talking about them having bathtubs everywhere, even though there are some half the size of the one he is in—something he had also seen when he visited japan for a schedule. his parents stayed at places near hot springs, and they went there nearly every day, taking in the culture as they brought it to their family.

"there's a reason why the japanese love onsen and sento so much. a soak at night can cure all the tiredness away, leaving you with a better, peaceful sleep."

that's what his dad told him as he asks, still playing around with the water and bubbles from soap in the tub when it splashes to little heeseung and even the old man himself. since then, he started to do the tradition his parents do, and he can feel the difference when he passes one day before soaking in warm mineral-scattered water. and now, even he has his own bathtub in his own apartment just for doing this every time he finishes a schedule and goes back home. the feeling of his muscles relaxing, his airway clearing out and unnecessary toxins from his body are also leaving. his figure relaxes more and more. and with the level of exhaustion he accumulated for the past days of travelling and walking around stages, belting out songs upon songs he had made and given for him to perfectly perform them, heeseung could actually fall into a deep and satisfying slumber he hadn't gotten in a while, even in that tub.

but something stopped him, making the water slosh around as he opens his lids as fast as he can.

the sound of muted rummages coming from the wall outside his bathroom—realising that he didn't close the door tightly as he was too preoccupied with quickly soaking his body. he could hear the muffled scream, then a thud from the door that separates his room from the other. the room where he watches the girl goes in.

heeseung doesn't want to assume much, but he knows that she entered the room alone—how would she enter an occupied room if she brought the keycard folder with her from even the slight glance he took at her. yet, the striking thing that he could hear from the tub he's in and the low-volumed jazz melody playing in his eardrum is faint sobs from the door. the door that the girl seemed to slam herself against. he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he viewed the door from the sliver slant of the opened bathroom door.

it's cathartic in a way. but he wanted to do that himself for a long while.

a small chime rings in his ear from the familiar alert from kakaotalk. picking up his phone, he could see the message from his manager who rested in the room across from him.

minhyun hyung-nim 22.57 our flight is at 8:20 tomorrow night 22.58 you have a whole day to explore london if you want. just make sure you're on your way to heathrow airport by sunset

-

the sound of the familiar alarm ringtone woke you up as you could feel the crusty moisture from your eyes. your neck is strained as your vision clears up, seeing where you are.

the floor of the carpeted hotel room you stayed in.

your limbs wobble as you try to push yourself up from the floor, eyeing the surface you lean against of the closed door connected to the neighbouring room. you drag yourself with your hand, crawling towards the bed that is still tidy—a dent in the mattress is the only reminder of you physically touching it as you see your belongings placed on top. climbing up to sit on your knees, you pulled the phone to you as you turned off the alarm, seeing it nearly died from battery shortage as you pushed yourself to stand up. walking towards your bag full of keychains, you eye the nearest socket whilst looking at the state of your room.

your backpack and suitcase are placed on top of the counter beside the wardrobe. the bag from the laundry room service of clothes you ordered came back. your laptop is placed on the desk as you see the charging cable of your phone near it. you eyed the clock at one side of the room, seeing the clear 06.05 shown with its analogue hands. but also, you can see a thrown pillow behind the chair by the desk. carefully stepping to pick it up, you see your melted makeup on top of the sheet, remembering what had happened last night.

the stickiness of the outfit you were in comes as you glimpse outside to view one of central london's streets from your window. the sheer curtain shielding you from the sudden sunlight that is slowly but surely crawling up the horizon. shaking your head, you took care of your belongings as you remembered the placements of your clothing. from the casual comfy to the comfy formal, dress, skirts, and shorts. your muscle memory remembers the placement for everything inside your suitcase, with its extra space and folded bags for souvenirs. a two-month trip you are prepared and you are ready for your next destination.

brushing your makeup-stained face, you could see how puffy your eyes are as trails of tears fell down your cheek. you let your hands massage your face as you wash it with the facewash you bought when you arrived in london. scrubbing all the suds away from your dirty skin, you couldn't keep the dam that holds your emotions from cracking, letting it show as a few drops of your tears fell down and being combined by the shower's water. the thoughts that were plaguing your mind before taking this trip came back as you let out a small, staggered sob. yet the warm shower brushes it away as fast as it could before it remains on your skin.

wearing a nice outfit that complements the look of summer transitioning to autumn, you style yourself with the skincare products that you almost ran out of, noting in your mind to buy them again in your next destination or here if you can. as you blow dry your hair, you pick up the journal that has been with you in this whole journey, seeing the list of places you hadn't finished seeing in london. you can't help but sigh that you don't know if you can fulfil it or not before you leave. picking it up, you brought it with you as you went to have breakfast.

the menu, once again, is the english breakfast you have now grown accustomed to ever since you're here. but from every part of the united kingdom you have travelled to, their definition of english breakfast is something different. some accomodate their infamous products of each region, like the ones you ate in cardiff. your phone is stacked on top of your journal as you move the utensils on the plate full of food. though your eyes can't help but look at the crowd gathering at one side of the room. the crowd that looks like they're travelling together, looking like they're there for a workshop or something. as you let the tea warm your body from the inside, you lean back as you think of the other things that you hadn't done before you have to check out. your suitcase is not finished yet as you almost forgot to pack your laptop in the backpack, your ipod is still slithering inside your messenger bag as you have to straighten the cord, and you still have to make your to-do list to buy, like your depleting soap and self-care products.

returning to your room and folding up the clothes in the way you learned from your mom, you latch the lock in the slot as you scramble the passcode. the stickers that you placed on the exterior nearly pulled off as you push it back to let them stick. the names of the cities that you have visited are placed all around the suitcase you call your own. yet, you eye the sticker of your hometown, of how far you have gotten to be here in your journey of travelling around the british isles. looking around the room as you check one last time for something you are missing, you tug your phone and your ipod into the pockets of your outerwear after plugging one of the wired earbuds to your ear, letting the sound of music entertain you as you're picking up the pieces of your luggage one by one. you look back at the room you stayed for the past four nights, and a smile appears on your face before it fades from the implication you had been facing in that last night. and you let the door close.

you're glad the lift is empty as you enter it to go down to the lobby. you still remember how last night you were hyperventilating quietly while in a small space with a man. the embarrassment that warms your body from last night's escapade that had gotten too rowdy, making you have to go back to the room as your only destination for comfort, to only be met with a piece of news that broke you. you eye the changing number on the screen on top as the ding makes you look forward, dragging the suitcase out of the lift. you're picking up the small keycard folder you were bringing as you approach the receptionist. however, your movement halts as you see the piles of suitcases by the side of the receptionist area. your mind brings you back to the crowd that you encounter when eating breakfast as you can see one of them—a man who wears a long-sleeved white shirt, cream-coloured work pants, and rounded, thick-framed glasses—holding onto a thick stack of keycards, the man looking around as if seeing if all of his crowd has finished gathering or not.

as you waited for him to finish gathering all of the keycards, you brought yourself to one of the seats there seamlessly—as if you had done the same thing before. but this is the largest crowd you have encountered, making you believe that they're on a workshop from some office in the other cities. but when you observed more of the crowd that has gathered around you, you hear them using a language that is not the lingua franca of the UK.

foreigners, like yours truly.

you eye back on the suitcases when you see most of them have a sticker of the same flag.

a south korean flag.

you let yourself head count the people who are seemingly in the crowd—those who gather by the suitcases as they conversed with each other—and count them. widen eyes, you just realised that the suitcases are nearly double the amount of the people in the crowd, making you instinctively shake your head.

'why are there so many? is bringing so many suitcases actually worth it?'

"well, yeah… when you travel around a lot in a short time," someone replied, making you jump from your seat as you look beside you to find a man. his hair is light brown, like it is bleached instead of his natural hair colour. he wears a light grey tank top that is pretty loose, while also wearing a plaid-patterned shirt of the colour bluish grey and white. around his collar is a wireless headphone with a thick outer area. he also wears light blue jeans with a belt and a pair of brown boots. "but, i don't know much," he finished, shrugged shoulders, as you study his face.

the same man you encountered in the lift last night.

you remember his reflection as you see yours on those enclosed sliding doors, turning away so you don't keep the eye contact that you accidentally caught. you thought he wouldn't remember your face if you just stayed quiet, yet the close proximity of the space can't help but make you remember and him to you too. pretending to tilt away, you took another glance at the man as he leans forward, eyes on your suitcase standing upright by your leg: right between him and you.

"i almost thought that your suitcase was mine because i see stickers that i also have," he replied.

eyebrows raised, you turn to him, "you also collect stickers of places you went?" a chuckle bubbles from you, "i thought i was the only one because people usually just tape on random ones." you muttered the last sentence as you move your eyes to the suitcase.

"yes, well," his hand pushes up as if stopping himself, "i started from this round of the trip because it's my first time going on a trip this long to different countries. i hope that it can be a time capsule," he replied with the fluency of a native english speaker. yet you recognise the hint of wavering in his voice that you also know you have. you let out a chuckle as you continue, looking back at the sticker of a certain flag that most of those suitcases have.

"i haven't gone to south korea yet. so, this is definitely not yours."

"how'd you know i'm korean?" he asked as you raised your shoulders, jutting your chin towards the suitcases that you now know are part of his crowd. his small "oh" makes you let out a small snicker, quickly hiding it behind your lifted palm as he lets out a short, wide smile before replying.

"well, it's full of outfits i have worn for the past five? six months? that i went on tour," the man replied with a relaxed tone, making you turn your head as quick as you can when you caught on to what he was saying.

"on tour? wait? what's your name?"

to your surprise, the man lets out a big close-mouthed smile that makes his cheekbones pop; his pupils seem trembling as if he doesn't want to tell you who he is. the guilt starts to flower inside you as you understand the thought of celebrities and their desire to be private and blend in with the crowd, especially in such a setting as a hotel lobby.

"i'm heeseung." he replied as he let out a shrug.

heeseung. the name seems familiar to you. that's when flashes of images show up in your mind. posters being placed inside the tube stations when you go on the escalators and when you are transitting between different lines of the london underground. a big font of his name there with a black and white picture of him under the spotlight in front of a piano. the image of the man beside you, but with black hair, as you remember the words written at the bottom after the date. the o2 academy, brixton.

"you're the one who had a concert at the academy," you mumbled your thought before glancing to him, seeing him nod his head as the small smile he held stayed—seemingly making him more closed off than moments before. shoulders slacking even for a bit, you continue the conversation, "i actually saw your concert-goers on the tube when i went out yesterday. the hangul letters on the banners are making them stand out as they all are heading towards brixton."

"ah, really?" the man reply which you nodded. yet you see how his eyebrows furrowed and his lips separating, as if he's contemplating. wanting to ask you about something, but hasn't found the right words until he does.

"but… do you know who i am before i told you my name?" his eyes open wide as you see the glint in them change along with his posture. a bit more sturdy, chin held up a little higher, as if he is putting on a mask, but only half of it is fully on.

"well, genuinely, i don't know who you are before i saw those promotional posters. i also don't think that i've ever heard your song before. the info hasn't reached me yet, probably…" heeseung nods along with your answer as he seems to focus on the wired earphones you're wearing before landing on the pocket of your outerwear, where a silver rectangle is showing.

"no way." his small exclamation catches your attention as you revert your gaze back, "is that an ipod nano?"

"oh! this?" you pulled out your ipod from the pocket, seeing the sleek scroll wheel that has symbols on the play and pause. the small screen on the top displays the sade song that is playing in one of your buds. "yeah. a hand-me-down from my mom, actually. it used to be filled with her songs before she said yes when i asked if i could keep it. so i basically mod it to add a few new songs that i downloaded from the internet that i like."

the man looks down as you show the device to him. your thumb brushes against the wheel as you both can see the details of the song you are listening to: sade's "kiss of life". a small smile grew on his face before it widened. "it's been a long time since i saw this, especially since it was discontinued. you can make a profit out of it if you wanna sell it." heeseung replied and you jokingly roll your eyes at his words.

"how capitalistic your idea is." you giggled as heeseung then follows, leaning his head from the action. you eye how the flowy outer shirt bounces along with his giggling body as he can't help but cover his mouth to laugh. it dies down in a fade as you take a glance at him, finding him taking a glance at you too.

"are you going back?" he asked as he gestured towards your ensemble of luggage.

"no. i still have more places to go after this. my train's leaving at around 10 at night, so i have time to relax and visit places i still haven't gone to in london. you?" your face contort unconsciouslly, making you feel the pull from your eyebrows when you are talking about it—seemingly leaking the emotions inside you regarding this last day, the night before, and the reason why you are on this trip in the first place.

"i'm going back to seoul tonight and have a one-week-long rest before the encore concert back there," heeseung replied, a small pout on his lips as you also make one too, mirroring him like it is the most natural thing to do. you were having fun talking to him, even with these small talks. but even the fame status that you now know makes you undeserving of getting his attention. you're sure he has other things to do, like doing his other schedules and such. that's when one side of heeseung's is enveloped in shadow, making you face him as you see the man that was on the receptionist counter facing heeseung—seeing behind him that the counter is empty as the bellboys and staff are bringing out the suitcases out of the lobby.

you give the man a nod as you stand up from the cushioned seat before walking to the reception. as you let the receptionist behind the counter check you out of their system and help with the additional cost you acquired from your laundry, you turn your head around to see heeseung speaking with the man. the familiar sound of someone speaking in korean—credits to you watching k-dramas that your friend asks you to watch with—enters your ear as you notice heeseung's rapid change of expressions, from furrowed eyebrows that fade as you watch a sparkle forms in his eyes. just by seeing his face, you can guess that he must be a great lyricist who can describe facial expressions well. you imagine him seeing himself in the mirror as he jots down how his face contours into whatever medium he uses to write lyrics. yet, a melancholic smile seems to want to surface on your own visage as you couldn't get to know him better; knowing that he is in his own entourage that will be leaving the country tonight.

he doesn't look like a celebrity from this far angle, even though now you had an epiphany that you just interacted with a k-pop idol and he seems to enjoy it. but you realised how he seems to be much more relaxed when you tell him you don't know him or, you guess, his idol persona. you don't know if it's because of the constant hassle of being in stardom, but you acknowledge that celebrities are humans too and you definitely understand that they like to live their lives too. you also know a few acquaintances of yours who are in stardom, some become actors while others just become influencers, especially with social media becoming people's puppet masters. yet they also want their fair share of privacy to explore stuff without being followed by other people.

after you say a few "thank you" to the receptionist, the suitcase's wheels turn as you tuck back your passport and wallet inside the bag, strap sling on one of your shoulders, ready to head to push your luggage towards the door—to make your last day in london a tad bit better as you want to forget everything that happened yesterday and also the night-

"wait!"

the voice calls out as you stop, hesitate if it's for you or not. then, you brace yourself as you turn around to see heeseung now a few steps closer to you. the man, now sitting at the seat you two were at, just gave you a nod before gesturing toward the figure standing up before you.

"i don't know your name yet," he said, even with a flat tone that makes you react in surprise. a celebrity wanting to know your name from a small banter? what an honour.

"my name is (y/n). and, uh, i think your crew is waiting for y-"

"let me just…" heeseung cuts you off before taking a breath, "do you ever think… shit, this is going to sound so crazy," he exclaimed with an expletive in english, making your eyebrows scrunch at the unexpectedness.

"i want to talk with you more. i- i have a whole day before i go back home and as much as i love touring, i haven't had time to visit the cities i'm in. i went to rio, paris, new york city, jakarta, all those cities. but the only free time i have is between los angeles and here. i went to los angeles before, so i know the city, but i don't know london. and… well…" heeseung opens his hand to gesture towards you, a tight lip smile on his face.

"i was hoping you feel that," he uses his fingers to point between you and him, "connection between us."

your scrunched brows loosened as they now raised, jaw a little bit dropped as you try to articulate as best as you can with that direct drop from him, "i, uh, i did. yeah, i do feel it."

"great! so… um… this is my pitch to you, (y/n)," heeseung takes a step closer. you sense his hand brushes against your bag, "why don't i follow you around today and explore london with you? i think you know your way around and i, i want to explore the city. i don't know when will i ever go back here. but then the chance comes when you said you want to visit more places you haven't visited yet. and it is going to haunt me if i didn't ask you."

you nodded your head, yet by the looks of it, heeseung still doesn't believe you are in. and then, he starts to clap once with his hands as his facial expression changes to a look of excitement—on something that he thought about that will be enough to make you say yes.

"think about this." he leans ever closer, now you felt his hand brushing against your own, "you meet this famous musician in your trip in london and both you and him have this same habit on putting stickers on your suitcase. he stayed in the hotel room next to yours and he's inviting himself to join you walk around a city you're still getting to know. that's going to be a wild story to tell to your friends or even your children in the future," he proposes with a fluency you didn't expect, raving about this plan to entice you. yet, the way he monologues is making you feel a sense of deja vu. like you have seen this scene before somewhere in your life.

"are, are you-" giggles of disbelief bubbling up rapidly as you calm yourself down. the hand that brushed his formed into a fist to stay controlled, "are you before sunrise-ing me right now?"

"huh?" his face scrunches as your jaw drops.

"what?! you don't know before sunrise? the movie? oh my-" you shake your head still with open mouth, gulping down your speechlessness as you reply, "you're definitely doing the before sunrise thing to me."

"i don't understand what you mean." heeseung answers now with his own widen eyes and parted lips.

"okay…" you take a deep breath before pushing it out. "before sunrise is this movie from the 90s about two tourists who decide to spend a night together in vienna. then they start to get to know each other and all that stuff. it's staring ethan hawke and julie delpy and it's such a good movie." you feel your face heating up as you are aware now of the implication of what this means between you and him.

he nodded at your explanation, expression changing as he put the dots on what he said to the movie you mentioned, "then yeah! i am before sunrise-ing you? even my english name is similar to ethan. it's evan, and that's a tmi by the way-"

"shut the fuck up!" you lightly push his shoulder as you can't help but fan yourself with your free hand. with your reaction, heeseung's smile makes his own eyes smile too as he laughed along with you. you rubbed your covered arms from the forming goosebumps, "technically, we're doing this like before sunset because you have to board your plane and such."

"well, my manager agrees that i can ride the train to heathrow airport at around sunset. and you say that your train is at around 10. so, we can hang out before midnight," heeseung replied, logically speaking, as you caught the implication again in his own words.

"what the- both of them are part of the before trilogy. before sunset and before midnight. what the heck is happening?" you mumble to yourself, nearly panicking as you just can't stop giggling in whatever situation you're in right now. he still has his smile on his face as you look away, embarrassed to know that he is seeing you as this blubbering mess.

"so…?" the man said, tilting his head as he looked at you expectantly.

glancing back at him, you let out a wistful sigh before nodding, "yeah… yeah, okay! you can join me, but!" you give him a pointed finger push straight at him. he hums with rising tone in reply. "promise me you're gonna watch before sunrise when you're home…"

heeseung snickers and nods, "okay! but how about the rest? there are two more that you said-"

"just start with that first cause i also haven't seen the other two." your reply breaks more of the ice, making heeseung's smile widen again. you both then heard the sound of his manager talking towards the two of you.

"take care of him, please, and wear your mask," the manager said to the man before you in english. when he glanced behind at the older man, heeseung gave him a thumbs up before he picked up the mask from his bag, putting the strap behind his ears, so that you can only see his eyes and the bridge of his pointy nose. even with his face half covered, his eyes seem to be as expressive as you see them looking many ways around the room.

"it's for privacy reasons because i don't want my fans to catch me," he said, voice muffled behind the mask. then, instinctively, he grabs onto the handle of your suitcase as he wants to lessen your weight.

"your fans will not find anything about me anyway if they catch you with me. and since it is for privacy reasons, i shall call you evan then when referring to you." you let out a smirk, taking his little tmi into account.

"ok!" then, heeseung turns to give a wave to his staff members. but before he can take a step away, one of the female ones approaches him as she tugs his headphones to placed it inside his bag before brushing the wrinkles of his plaid shirt as best as she could. you watch in amusement before the female staff member turns to you with a warm smile.

"i'm doing my job," the female says to make you understand as you gave her a nod, observing the way that heeseung looks much tidier and relaxed without those headphones around his neck.

"my head stylist," he referred to the woman, bowing his head as you heard numerous phrases in korean towards him, before he pulls on the suitcase as the door of the hotel lobby automatically opens to be met by the pavement of a london street.

"the privilege, huh?" you exclaimed as you met heeseung's eyes, who is now turning to you. you now stand with him on the pavement as you look at the way towards the nearest tube station, "shall we go, ethan hawke?"

"don't tease me again, please. i promise i'm going to watch it," heeseung answered, with you chuckling to his reply. your figure stood now in front of him as you guide him down the concrete path, eyes already looking around at the turn at the end of the street—where you have to cross to go to the station that you arrived at last night.

you give a glance at the man behind you before turning away to the road, still can't believe the turn of events you didn't even expect, yet welcome. maybe, with him with you, it can help alleviate the heaviness that is plaguing your heart.

-

"thank you so much." you then tucked the receipt into your wallet as you stepped away from the counter, taking a glimpse of the worker behind it as they tucked your suitcase and backpack away into the storage room with other bags of people that wanted to explore without luggage hindering them. as you adjust your messenger bag's strap, you face the person that is a few steps away. heeseung's eyes move around as he gazes at the interior of paddington station behind his mask, faint creases on his forehead formed when you step closer to him; as if he's waiting for someone to find him, or nervous if someone can identify who he is.

"evan…" you called, committed to using his english name to call him so that people don't recognise him. because when you both took the tube ride to this station specifically—after he bought an oyster card of his own so that "i have physical evidence on going to london as well"—the posters of his concert are still fixed along the walls of the many hallways. walls that thousands, maybe even millions, of people walk by, and they—if they are attentive enough and he is not wearing a mask—can put the two things together. the man whose namesake you have called turns his head to face you. his mask makes him a bit blend in because you catch some people who also wear them as well.

you both walk towards one of the signs that leads the way to the many platforms. a large screen showcases the names of the trains, their end destination, and the status of their times—a gasp coming out of him when he saw so many of them and even some that are delayed. you now stand beside him as the end of his sleeves flail from the movement. a small drop of sweat trailing down the side of his face from the transition of the season in this very september.

"why did we choose paddington?" he finally broke the silence between the two of you, eyes peering at the name of the station right there as he looked back at the way towards the underground station where he arrived from, handling your suitcase as you carried your other two bags.

"i think it's a good waypoint for us. paddington is connected to the elizabeth tube line, where you can just ride the right train that will lead you to heathrow airport. it's also running a line towards the station for my train later," you answered with the knowledge that you gained from walking around london for the past few days. ingrained in your mind is the name of the lines that you often use, such as circle, picadilly, and northern. but you always still have your trusty navigation app to know if you are going westward or eastward between the london zones.

"wait, so your train doesn't go from paddington?" heeseung caught onto your words as you face him and shake your head from left to right on repeat, "then where does it go from?"

you let out a wistful sigh, "king's cross."

his face reacted in recognition, "the king's cross from harry potter?" and you nodded your head whilst watching him chuckle, eyes creasing from the realisation.

"we should go there if we can. i think i've seen a picture of the 9 3/4 sign-"

"hold on," your open palm stops him as you lean closer to him, "we should actually decide which area we want to go. and let's try not to go from one side to the other because london is big. and are you sure you can walk far? i imagined last night's concert took a toll on you." your hand folded in front of you, a small pout forming on your lips,

"took a toll on me?" he questioned, and you then realised that maybe there are some english idioms that he hadn't heard regularly.

"i mean, you must have been tired from last night too." you tried to word it out directly as he nodded before his hand reacting.

"don't worry. i had a good warm bath last night. so my muscles are fine, thank you." he also shows one thumb up to assure you as you answer with a smile growing on your face.

"well, honestly, most of the to-do list that i haven't gotten to are around west london. that's just my personal reason for picking this station as our starting point." your mind remembers the to-do list inside your travel journal. whilst you are here, you tried your best to cross the important ones off your list. though when it comes to food and drinks, you mostly improvise. it is the way of travelling that your parents have taught you: have a clear itinerary of places or areas you want to go, but also give room for you to explore there as you like. it's one of the reasons why the times you went to brick lane and camden town have been the most memorable ones in this city.

with your eyebrows raised, you continue, "but i'm going to help guide you as well. can you list the places that you want to visit? and i'm gonna add the ones that i think you would like to visit as well."

"okay, um," heeseung stops as he lifts his hand that has his fingers folded. that is when you watch as his eyes move to the corner, observing him think. with every finger unfolded one by one, he mentioned one place. "abbey road, king's cross, the royal palace, that bridge, nando's…" an open palm is showing to you as you take in the places he mentioned. most are the ones that you have visited—except for abbey road—as he talks once again, "i think that's it. and i do want to also try to relax more, going to cafes and such. no big ben tower, i went through that street many times."

"that's because our hotel is near westminster, so…" you added to his information as your eyes do the same thing as he did, going to the corner of your sight as you think about the route that you are taking. the best route to show him london, but not only focusing on the touristy places, but also to actually travel within the city. his notion to you of wanting to relax makes you think that you may have to get something to eat and enjoy the scenery as well. even if he did reassure you that he is fine with walking around so much, you can only imagine how he still has stamina from going on tour and only has a true rest in los angeles. and you take into account that you both want to slow down, even if you move from place to place.

returning your gaze, you find him fixating on you with one eyebrow raised, waiting for your thoughts as you take a breath to be able to speak, "based on what you list, i think walking around from central to west london will be enough because we're gonna end it at paddington. we might have to kill some of our darlings, though."

"k-kill… our darlings?" the man said in hesitation as you actually had to slap yourself in the forehead. 'be direct, (y/n).'

"it means that we can't go to every place that you want to go. especially king's cross and tower bridge-"

"no, i meant london bridge," he cuts you off as you pause to take in what he said and bob your head because, yes, you also confused that london bridge is the one with the towers.

"the bridge with the towers is called tower bridge, not london bridge," you give two small pats on his upper arm, "sorry to break the illusion."

"really?" you let out a chuckle as he actually had to fish out his phone as he searched for the fact that you said and it gives you more time to think about locations from central london to west london that could accommodate both his and your wants. picadilly circus and oxford street might've been too crowded for his liking, but you remembered that there is a nando's around covent garden, so you can choose to go there. that means that you have to reach at least trafalgar square.

"oh, wow," heeseung exclaimed, cutting through your thought as he shows you the screen of his phone to find the bridge people assume as london bridge with the subtitle of tower bridge.

"told you so…" you slyly wink as you look back at the clock that is scattered across the station. 10.27. then you turn back to heeseung as you speak, "i hope you still have an empty space in your stomach because we're gonna get brunch at nando's."

"oh, cool. ok," he said, mask muffling his enthusiasm as you take a step towards the tube station from the train platforms. heeseung walks close by to you, keeping up with your pace as you both weave through the sea of people. families with suitcases, mothers and their children doing their chores, and you two: two humans not local to this very place as you keep up with the pace of people. you learned so much that, even if you don't know your end destination, you have to walk with determination. or else, you might be perceived as vulnerable, especially with the many warnings people have said about how dangerous london is with its theft cases.

walking down the stairs towards the underground stations before you have to go past the farebox, you turn towards the board that tracks the many lines of london's underground, overground, and their other public transport options. one finger raised as you trace a line from paddington towards the nearest station to covent garden, seeing the small legend for trafalgar square as you mumbled, "charring cross… bakerloo… southeastbound." beside you, you felt heeseung's figure brushing yours lightly as you read the map that you have seen from the last few days. when you trace along the multiple different colored lines, it reminds you of every commuter and metro train that you have seen yourself use. you remember using them in new york city while going through manhattan and in tokyo as you tried to find your airbnb near shinjuku station. trains have always been your favourite mode of public transport—faster enough than buses—and you have ridden a fair share of trains as you travel, either from city to city, or country to country, like what the eurail does when you ride from paris to amsterdam before.

listening to the mumbling of your voice as you spoke what you think, heeseung follows behind you as you pull out your oyster card from your outer's pocket. he already has his hold in his hand tucked inside the pocket as he pulls it out and taps it against the farebox. walking behind you lets him see the accessories adorning your bag. the dangling colourful keychains and pins make the brown messenger bag more standout. some of it looks too do-it-yourself rather than buying it and he could identify some of the references on those pins: movie posters, movie quotes, and some sort of dice that looks like it has more sides than the six-sided ones he knows. he lets himself walk in pace with you as you both stride down the winding hallway towards your platform.

the platform is barren as he gazes at the advertisement across where he is standing on the other side of the track. tiled walls surrounding him as he now has the time to look around the platform, which looks older than he thinks and how rounded it is.

"is that why it is called the tube?" you heard him ask beside you, his eyes looking around above the mask that covers his nose and mouth. heeseung turns his head to find your sight, tilting his head, "it looks like we are inside a tube because look at how perfect the circle of the tunnel is…"

you smiled at his observation, realising that you are technically standing inside a cylinder under the soil of london's surface. you turn to look at where your train is going to come from—locating the circle outline that he had mentioned before. he also added, "it is dangerous. if you hadn't held me back when we were on our way here before the train arrived, i would've flown towards the end of the platform."

chuckles come from both of you. you remembered around one hour ago when you were both on your way towards paddington station. heeseung still standing near the edge as you hear the echoing sound of the incoming train. your hand instinctively pull him back with a force as he is startled by it. but it came at the right time because not even five seconds later, the train zooms past both of you as you hear the screech of it braking on the track. his bangs flung from the wind as you giggled from looking at his enlarged eyes.

"yeah, glad i could help," you say between your chuckles as you turn back towards him—he is already facing you—making you raise your eyebrows before he then continues the conversation.

"it's not like that back in seoul, where you have this gate that covers from the top to the bottom. london's metro seemed so dangerous," heeseung continues as he extended his arm, gesturing to how the barrier scales in height as you can picture it inside your mind's theatre.

"i've been to japan and most of their metro has a half-wall style of barrier. but that's just what makes the london one unique because i remembered it's one of the oldest metro trains in the world," you answered back, finding him reacting with a nod. you then nudge his shoulder, "there's a reason why, if you focus on the announcement before the train arrives, they will tell you to 'mind the gap between the train and platform'."

you heard him scoff as he took a step closer to your side, your clothing brushing against each other. "does it mean that there are"—heeseung's hands show up once again and moving in front of him to gesture—"bigger gaps between the train and the platform?"

looking at how his hands illustrate the gap that is slowly widening, you can't help but bit back your laughter as you continue to explain, "there are some that is wider because the platform is straight but the track is curved. so, imagine that. i guess." and as you utter your last few words, you hear the echoing chugging of the train as you both stood near the wall behind you. the train hastily passes you as you brace to hold onto gravity from not being flung, even if it hits heeseung's figure. the announcement calls out as you turn to face him, letting him hear the words as the 'mind the gap' part shows up, and he looks back at you with an amused face that you can only see from his pair of eyes.

stepping into the train, you both found a seat side by side as you walked to it one by one. the tube atmosphere is usually quiet, maybe only with whispers as the train closes and lurches forward down the line. your eyes wander against the advertisement inside the train carriage itself before trailing down to the little panel of the line that this train takes, eyes following from paddington to your stop at charring cross. passing through the likes of oxford street, which is more of a shopping-based location. the train running on its track does feel soothing, familiar. and it makes you close your eyes even for a bit. yet, every time you close them, you can't help but think of the sad reflection you caught of yourself. a reflection that still feels so fresh because it has occurred multiple times since before you started the trip.

before you realise that you are clueless on what to do next in your life.

the open and closing of the doors, combined with brushes against your clothed knee from people finding an open seat, make you open the lids as you peer at where the train is going next. turning slightly, you detect heeseung's eyes wandering around the carriage, but specifically looking at the names of the station like he is trying to remember them even though this is the last day he'll be in the city.

as you approach charring cross, you tap a few times on his knee and give a nod as you both walk towards the doors. being on a monday late in the morning does have its perks because not a lot of people are currently on the trains while they are doing activities in their school, office, and such. you lean against the pole of the seat as you face the door. eyes looking through the glass window as the train goes past the glimpse of the platform, slowly stopping as you already see people queueing up to get in. stepping out, you once again go to walk at the front as heeseung follows you. your hand picks up your phone to open the navigation map as you type the restaurant's name, seeing it being closer to the station instead of the covent garden area.

the bustling sound of central london greets you as you walk towards the exit, your phone already tucked inside your bag as you analyse the street that you are supposed to go, remembering the location of covent garden with the pinpoint of the nando's is plastered in your mind. you felt a brush against your hand as you glanced to find heeseung beside you. slowly, you walk beside him as close as possible, crossing the street until you are far enough from the crowd and find a free space to walk to.

you heard heeseung sigh as you two take steps in tandem, "the train was pretty small. the space wasn't as big as the seoul metro."

"i can imagine. it's a struggle to stand in the space where people sit because of how narrow the train is. i think you might like the elizabeth line. the train size is pretty similar to the one that tokyo metro uses."

"and that's the train that's going to bring me to the airport?" his voice continues to ring while you guide him to turn at the corner.

"correct!" you point towards him, a small smile growing on your face as you both continue. a meters away, you find the nando's logo placed in front of a building facade that looks older, making it blend in with the exterior of other buildings surrounding it. as you step towards the door, a host greets you as you say, "for two, please. also, can we get a corner seat?"

the host looked into their monitor and nodded, "right this way."

ever since you set foot in the british isles—where you landed in ireland first—you didn't realise how both the irish and british use the word 'please' a lot. how they seemed to be more polite in talking to people. even when you are in cardiff, you hear a fair share of older women calling you 'love' when they are attending to their business from bakeries to cafes. but more in a nurturing type of call, like how a parent calls their male child, 'son'. it feels very awkward at first, but you're slowly thawing yourself for it. even though you felt like you didn't really deserve being called that way...

walking towards the corner of the dim-lit room, the host gave you both menus on the table and reminded you to call them when ready to order. heeseung slightly bows—an instinctual habit with how he stopped from going too far.

"i think it'll be better if i sit facing the open space while you sit facing the wall. so people won't recognise you," you uttered the suggestion, remembering his concern as he reacted with an agreeable nod. heeseung then settles into his seat, bag placed beside yours on your cushioned booth seat, and he pulls off the straps of his mask. even with parts of his visage obscured, you sense your breath being taken away. his bleached bangs covered his forehead with only a small sliver of his skin showing. the bridge of his nose looks smooth as it trails to his pouty lips. heeseung leans his head back to sit straight, finally letting you see him fully in front of you—while he also sees you clearly for the first time.

"um," you clear your throat before gesturing to the menu, "feel free to take a look and let me know if you are ready." and heeseung answered by picking up the menu to look through it. whilst skimming through yours, your hand reaches to pick up your travel journal from your bag and open it to the bookmarked latest page of today's date. thinking back on the previous hours before right now, you found a good sentence to start today's entry with.

today, i am walking around london with a korean musician (real life before sunrise?)

the words glide easily out of you as you already start to create spaces after the two paragraphs you've written separately: spaces to put stickers or cut-off parts of brochures and receipts you find. your sight alternates between the two printed media in front of you before you glance back at heeseung to find him already staring back at you. his eyes are on your open journal as you look back to the menu—confirming your order that you enjoyed from the last time—before you raised your arm to ask for an order.

as you gaze at the host who is leaving after taking care of your meal order, you turn your eyes back to the man in front of you and say, "you ordered the spicy rice."

"i think i just missed eating rice," and with his answer, giggles are coming from your gaped lips as heeseung continues, "like really. i've eaten so much bread that i need a flavour reset for myself."

"well, good for you then," you nodded, hands now resting on the table. your journal is closed and sitting on the space at your side of the table. written in it is a lingering question that has been going on inside your mind of this person in front of you: a celebrity, in the simplest way to identify it.

"this is something that's gonna be nagging in my mind. and if i don't ask, it's just going to haunt me."

"hmm?" heeseung reacted. his hands are also resting on the table. the outer shirt looks more baggy as the cloth flings around with his movement, draping over his forearms as you return your vision to his face. his forehead already wrinkly, expecting your next words.

"how is it going with being a k-pop idol?" the question flew out of you so easily that he couldn't help but let out a chuckle and nod, like he already was expecting this very question to be asked. especially now with the opportunity showing itself.

"you're going straight to it, huh?" he bit a little part of his bottom lip.

"i mean, i have to. you're a literal world-class celebrity-"

"i am… not…" even with the pause, the last word he uttered sounded stern. both of his hands joined with each other as he tugged a little bit of his sleeves to interlock his fingers together—a soothing gesture you recognised.

"well, i am curious. i can just ask the internet about your life journey, your songs, your career. maybe even more." head leaning forward to his, your voice now lowered in volume, "but since i have the real deal sitting across from me," your open palm gestures to him, "i could hear a more unbiased? biased? story about yourself." you uttered, even questioning yourself about the information that you're going to get from him.

but he appreciated you for still looking enthusiastic to know about him, even with that halt in his cadence. you're maybe one of the first people to actually be able to separate his life from his job because he has a life beyond his career.

well, heeseung couldn't encapsulate his life and career in his young adult life into a concise manner like what his fans did in a wiki forum or how a journalist summarises his ideology with just a 10-minute interview. so, if you are implying to tell him about the whole ups and downs of his career without any bias, he had to dig into the joyful and painful memories he has had.

being called a k-pop idol was not something heeseung expected to be labelled as. in his own memories, he sees his fingers playing across the piano keys when he was younger, the crowds he was nervous to perform at first to do the chopsticks waltz during an elementary school talent day event when he was around second grade. ever since that performance, he knew music was something that was going to be crucial to his life. he learned guitar afterwards and he was being called a musical prodigy at school—performing on stage to the crowds of students he walked by in the hallways. by the time he was in the second year of high school, he was called to sign up for a small music label. and when it comes to a smaller label—where he is among the first artists they signed—he had to work twice as hard to prove himself worthy.

heeseung still remembers those early days when he was a senior in high school, from juggling both studying and going to events to gain his exposure, and it was such a stressful time. heeseung still remembers every street he had to busk in and every school he was invited to perform—even a performance in one of the prestigious high schools in korea a few years back, when he unexpectedly became a part of the same line-up as his current labelmate, tomorrow x together. at those days, he was somewhat of an up-and-coming indie star who had a song that went viral within the smaller music communities with the likes of parannoul and hanroro.

what he liked about his old agency was that they gave him musical freedom to explore any genre he wanted. his early songs mostly sounded like the songs he heard when he was younger—jazz, ballad, rhythm and blues, a bit of alternative rock influence. but then his agency went into bankruptcy, and he had no place to call home.

that's until minhyun found him and took him under his wing.

heeseung knew of minhyun before. he remembered seeing the music shows on tv where he appeared with his group on stage. he even remembers his other schoolmates dancing to one of minhyun's group's songs in the same talent show he performed in the later years of elementary school. when minhyun told him about his story during one of the times they met to help train heeseung's voice—why he decided to retire as an idol to help manage other musicians—heeseung couldn't help but reflect on what his journey has been and the opportunities being given to him. but when minhyun suggests to him to come sign with bighit under his wing, heeseung faces a dilemma that he hadn't calculated until that very moment: to be a musician or an idol.

idol seems to be such a faraway concept for even heeseung, who has his liking in music. he does have his fair share of favourite songs from k-pop idols, and he has role models in some of them, especially singer-songwriters. when he was brought into the meeting room to discuss his future in bighit, he remembered one of the executives said that they can help him be like iu or if he wants to go for a hip-hop/r&b route, like crush or loco. all of them are artists that he admired and he has songs that can be made into those specific elements in his vault. but he knows that there's going to be more limitations than the ones he had when he was an artist in his old, independent label, the one that had more work and responsibilities to do. but, deep down, heeseung understands that he wants to spread his art, tell stories, and become a role model to others like those he had with the other artists in the industry.

so he signed the paper that changed his life. literally change his space and time. music show gigs, collaborations with artists he doesn't know he could do, doing concerts internationally, magazine shoots, a few scattered sponsorships here and there, a few fashion shows during fashion week, and here he is now. just in a nando's in central london waiting for his brunch to be served, with you hearing his story being told from his very lips.

"so… being an idol, to me, is a complex job to have. my responsibilities are more than just making people listen to my music. i have to be an influencer, a model, an actor, a community manager for my fans, all at the same time." he takes a pause to breath, not realising just how exasperated he had been while telling you the history of his career. "i've been through the idol system even though it's mostly for my dancing skills and the end result was satisfaction for me. but it comes with the stipulations, such as right now, where if i open my mask, i could be recognised immediately in some place." he lets his eyes meet yours, the sleeve of his shirt rolled a bit up now as he feels how his forearms are hard from the tense muscles coming from how his hands are formed in fists. that is when the host arrives once again to serve you your meal and drinks.

the steaming plates full of peri peri chicken sat between the two of you as you eyed yours with your complimentary mashed potato, while heeseung has his spicy rice. a bottle of the peri peri sauce sits there as you gaze at the medium level label you both choose to pick. heeseung picked up his utensils as he cut his chicken, brushing the piece against the sauce on his plate before placing it on his tongue. even though it tasted different from the usual korean fried chicken with gochujang, it tasted fresh.

"hmm!" he hums in satisfaction, picking up the rice grains with his fork and eating them. bobbing his head, he reacted to the spicier food that he had missed throughout the tour. eyes watching from you as you can't stop the smile urging to show.

"it's good, right?" you ask whilst also slicing down your own chicken.

he hums melodically, "i don't regret choosing this out of any other place to eat!"

you chuckled at his reaction as you both chow down on your meal. the taste buds of his explodes with the flavour. a bit more pepper-y and tangy than he expected, but he welcomed it. in every country that he had visited for the tour, their catering usually caters to the country's cuisine or even their version of korean food. some are good, but others are average to say the least. however, he doesn't have time to actually explore what the locals eat in those cities. and, even if nando's is a big chain scattered across the UK, he believes that it's a good representation to actually try to get so he can blend with the locals.

heeseung didn't realise just how much he enjoyed it when he saw that he finished his plate before you are done, drinking down the refreshing lemonade as he gazed back at the potato wedges he could see himself eating when he calmed himself down. the little clinks and clanks of your cutlery across from him continue as you sometimes lift your head up and catch his sight, your jaw chewing down on the food as you give him a small smile before resuming. and when he saw that you were nearly done with your food, you then asked him a profound question.

"so… do you see yourself as an idol now, knowing your history?"

his eyebrows moved unconsciously, raised up as he felt his forehead wrinkling. a loaded question that has been buried inside of himself after nearly four years of an idol career. something that he has also been contemplating every time he gazes at the mirror and sees his own reflection after taking a bath at the end of the day.

"i think," heeseung started to blink rapidly, "as much as that's what people told me, like the management or even the producers i work with, i," hesitance shows up as if the word that is resting on the tip of his tongue will change everything. even so, he has been thinking about it for the longest time. how his idol career brings him to many places that he once thought were impossible. the level of fame that could actually move people. yet, the constantly moving variables make him have to move at a rapid pace to catch himself up to everyone. going on an international tour after a successful release that involves global producers. people that his company helps to reach out to, or they reach out to his team first. moving in a way so that he couldn't lose relevancy.

that's the word: relevance.

when he was a budding independent musician, he didn't even think about relevance much. he focused more on legacy instead, of seeing his progression from a kid who likes music; who thinks that even if it is a viable option, it has a bigger risk. to then become a fully fledged musician. ever since he got into bighit, relevance becomes a keyword that is mostly implied in the presentation of discussing his future releases. "he has to keep up," "this is the current trending sound in the charts," "we have to capture the market quick." then, in comes the producers. heeseung has always been more of a self-producer, but he has met producers who see his vision. yet, he also has to make compromises when some of his own produced songs aren't picked and, instead, he is given a song produced by someone else.

"i- no, i don't think so." his answer started with a realisation before his confidence grew, "i think there is a distinction between idols and musicians. even if there are brand promotions like sponsorships that idols have, they are usually very… picky? is that the right word? for when it actually connects with my brand."

"you mean, the brands are carefully curated for you?"

a sound of a quick finger snap echoes between the two of you as he pointed to you, "yes! that's what i meant. it has to match up with my image, as the marketing people said."

"and what is this image you're talking about?" you wipe your lips with a napkin, something that makes him notice just how pretty they are.

"it, it's a self-producing idol image. that because i write songs and make them, it would make it more interesting…" he voiced out the sentence that he remembered plastered in the presentation when he first enter bighit. about his re-debut to becoming a self-producing idol soloist, kind of similar to iu, with the sound of mostly r&b and pop. where the company allows him to be involved in the creation of his release, but also emphasises collaboration so that he can keep up with the industry. it's why in his recent album, he had multiple features scattered throughout the tracklist—creating this mutual symbiosis where his feature can get his fans' attention and vice versa.

a few more minutes pass as you continue to eat and he now reaches for the potato wedge, feeling the growing agitation in talking about this whilst you are collecting your thoughts about what he explained. something heeseung had been avoiding, but now, with you, something that he actually has to face.

"so," your plate is now empty as you place your glass on the table, "you have an image of an self-producing idol. but you are one before, based on what you said to me. i know this felt probing, but- i just, when i think about what you said before." your tongue swiped against your lips, wetting them up, "the difference between an idol and a musician and you having been both of them in your career. yet you still say you aren't one. i can't help but think that the idol side is overshadowing the musician side."

heeseung doesn't stop himself from nodding to your words, helping to articulate the numerous connected threads, "because you have this… drive to create music. yet, because your company wants to make you relevant, it means that you are going to gigs to make you stay relevant when your main job is to create music and be an influence in it. i just can't help but see that there is a sacrifice that you have to make. i don't know what it is, though, because that is something that only you can answer…"

your words ended with chuckles as you take another chug of your drink, letting the liquid hydrate you as he just watches it happening before him. yet, his mind is somewhere else.

the screams of the people who were watching him for the past few months. the reflection of their phone camera refracted from the hot lights shining on him and the stage. the way that he felt very hyped in every performance. the dopamine that becomes adrenaline for him to keep going, but also how after every concert, his body is nearing shut down until one of his staffs get to him first. the songs that he sang are a combination of his own produced songs and the ones the company picked for him, yet the latter dominate the set list. him singing other people's words that his fans think are his own—with the writing credits that include him even if he only changes one line of the lyrics. and now, what happens after everything?

how can heeseung top this tour? this album, which he had thought about as the most commercialised album he had done in his current career. the taste of success and fame—coming from years of hard work—is delicious. however, heeseung realises that he can overdose on it. he had seen a few fellow idols living the way he is living. even those who have more scheduled activities per year, which makes them appear in nearly everything, and how they try their best to be as lively as possible. one sad day can be a detriment to one's career when you have eyes on you for almost all the time. and the realisation hits heeseung not with a bang, but with a crawling spark. small but unravels into something that answers multiple questions that he had been thinking about one by one.

"don't worry," heeseung's mind reverts back to focus on you, a solemn smile appears on your face, "i… have felt it too…"

a pregnant pause occurs between the two of you as you both process your reply. you let out a thin smile, eyes beholding him before moving away a few seconds later to raise your hand as you asked for the bill. heeseung sits across from you, replaying what you said as the abstract thought of this revelation slowly solidifies and finds a place in his mind.

that he had been unsatisfied with his career. how saturated it has become, where everyone focuses more on profit and relevance. how he had sacrificed his artistic freedom for fame, which can actually kill people directly or indirectly. that the future of his career is a blank page as he couldn't see even the slight sketches of his future beyond the encore concert back home to close out the tour and the album promotion. that, even with the weight of his songwriting notebook settling into the very bag he brought today, he knows that he isn't able to curate his own list of songs to include in the next release because of the influence of his management higher-ups. how he missed the charm of busking and being on a smaller, intimate stage that lets him see every person's reaction. how he wants to hear the mellower, experimental songs from his collection being played once again.

heeseung didn't realise that fame had consumed him until now.

as he steps out behind you outside of the nando's entrance, his hand reaches for the mask that he wore before, unconsciously put into his jean pocket when you both stepped away from the table. yet, when he knew he had to pull it out and cover his face, he just didn't want to. the boy gazes at the people walking in front of him; more people are alone, but there are also groups, such as couples and families. and yet, they don't notice him. even with his complexion as a korean man, he can still blend in with the multiculturalism that london introduces to him. and even if people see him indifferently, they just don't care and think that he is a traveller.

the presence radiates beside him as he turned to find you already looking at him. your pointer fingers circling around your own mouth, jaw, and nose—asking about his mask. and heeseung shakes his head instantly, "no need," he mouthed. if people only see him as a traveller, then let him be a traveller and enjoy the air without it being covered by the mask. because he is a person first, before he is a celebrity.

-

the walk to the next destination only takes five minutes. the street that he follows slowly widens, specks of people becoming a crowd as he sees some parked vehicles in front of brick buildings. his height doesn't really make him look that out of place—making him blend more into the locals who stride with a destination in mind. you are walking in front of him, guiding him through the sea of people as you both then walk across one of the crowded pedestrian areas. his view opens to a large area where a monument stands. statues hanging around down there as he views a grand staircase and a fountain after it. on his right side: a regal-looking building where many people are coming in and out of, some are holding the yellow paper bag with "national gallery" written on it.

"trafalgar square…" you mumbled, slowing your movement to walk right beside him. heeseung gazes at the people scattered about on the plaza. the road full of cars, black-colored taxis, some lime-colored bicycles, and red double-decker buses. then, he felt a small hold on his finger as you gently pulled him away from the half wall near the stairs.

"behind you is the national gallery," you gestured to the regal-looking building that he saw, "with many paintings there, even including a monet. but what i want to show you is here." you gesture your hand back to the monument as heeseung's eyes enlarged. behind it is a long straight road, and at the end of it, he saw the famous clock tower that he had gone past in the van.

"big ben…" he spoke without thought.

"big ben is actually the name of the bell. a mistake that i also believed until someone told me so." your voice flows as you both face the visual composition of the buildings and skyline. he felt something warm hitting the side of his head. however, as he turned to face you, your gaze turned to look at the view. a slight breeze blowing onto your face as a few strands of your hair flutter. following you to stare back at the visual, it's when he realised that he is actually in london. many times in the cities that he had visited, he couldn't see their signature landmark while taking in the location. his stop in los angeles only lets him go to the restaurants to eat with his crew, no other exploring in the sense that he wanted to also visit hollywood. and so, he grabbed his phone to take a picture of the very scene, imprinting it into his memory as he couldn't help but take a deep breath.

like the last moment when you gaze at him taking in the view—before he catches onto you as you move your head perfectly—you return to look at him, watching his hand holding the phone slowly go down, observing how the breeze of wind also gently caresses his skin and hair strands. how the certain tension on his forehead dissipates as heeseung closed his eyes and took a breather. your head tilts a little bit back, gazing at the clouds covering most of the sky, taking in the charm that is the gloominess of london as everyone seemed to be happy when they feel the sun beaming down on them. even with its saturated, vibrant colour, it creates depth that tells stories of what it is before you stand. of how it blends with the old style of regality.

glancing back to see his eyes now wide open, you finally say, "so we're going to buckingham palace after this, and we have two ways there, evan." once again, you raise your hand to point towards the roads connected from this large crossing. "that way leads us straight to the mall, as the locals call it. it's the road where royal parades usually go through. or…" you point to the pavement by the national gallery, "we can go there and do a small detour through the west end before we go down the mall to the palace. your choice."

yet, even when he is viewing you explaining the ways towards your next destination, he notices a little quirk on the corner of your lips when you mention "west end."

"let's go to the west end then. so that we have more things to look at," with his answer, the quirk you adorned widened into a smile as you nodded; already moving as a signal for him to move along. both of your steps try to keep pace with each other as you weave around some people. heeseung's sight is on you, whose eyes are looking towards the building by the square, a slight frown forming on your visage.

"i'm sorry that we couldn't explore the gallery. time is literally our enemy right now," you remarked as he shook his head.

"that's alright. we might waste our time there instead," your head nods to his answer as you both walk down. some of the people there walk in groups, others who are alone weave through the crowd as you both try to walk near the edge so people can walk past you.

"what is the west end?" his question slips out instantly.

"it's this whole area, including covent garden that we were at, then it goes until picadilly circus, oxford street, and more." you push your right hand to the right to show the area you are mentioning. "it's the place in central london where people usually shop, especially tourists. picadilly circus has this large billboard snaking around buildings there. kind of like what shibuya crossing has in tokyo, but shorter and wider."

heeseung's eyes were already on you as you turned your head to him.n one of your hands is holding onto your bag strap as you step to lean closer to him, a smile on your face, "though, i usually associate west end as the place of plays and musicals."

his footsteps follow you as you stop at the pedestrian crossing of a three-way junction, scooting a bit to the side so you are standing by the crossing area. your hand comes to pull him closer to you, gazing at the building down the street as he shifts, squinting to see clearly what you're trying to show.

"see there?" you asked him as he followed your gaze. a crowd of people standing in front of a building that has dark signs and banners with some whites and reds. a familiar illustration that he had seen before, as he had gone past the theatres in seoul that had the same imagery.

"that's where they're showing phantom of the opera. such a cool show…" you seemingly mumbling to yourself as you turn to see the crossing's light turn green. quickly, you reacted and pulled heeseung with you, jogging down the street as you arrived on the other side. the boy can't help but feel the warm touch from the part you hold on to him. standing beside him once again, you both continue to walk down the pavement to your destination.

"did you watch it? phantom of the opera?" the question shows up easily for him as he can't help but think back at the way your eyes sparkle from seeing the banner outside the building.

"guilty and more, actually." a chuckle naturally came out of you, "i think i spend many of my nights here watching plays and musicals. a musical to end the day, something like that. i watched five of them here."

"and how long are you here for?"

you giggled at his follow-up. "eight days, including when i arrived here in the afternoon."

the grey pavement stops as you gesture to heeseung to cross another road, before he then finds another set of stairs going down. both of your figure focusing to walk down the stairs as he gazes at the statue of people—maybe knights, maybe kings—before him. he looks up at the monuments as he takes in the view of the subject being suspended in action, before continuing down towards the path again where people are walking. to the road that you might refer to as the mall.

"and out of those five shows, which one is your favourite?"

"well… um," he watches how you bit your bottom lip, "i have two favourites, actually. they're phantom of the opera and hadestown." you then took a long breath before continuing to speak, "i just… can't help but notice how good the stage looks. hadestown has this evolving type of staging where the view of it widens around the end of act 1. it plays along with the lighting so well too, especially when orpheus was walking back in the dark, not knowing if eurydice is still there."

heeseung watches you continue to ramble, a slight smirk formed on his face, "and phantom of the opera. gosh, it is so good. the theatre didn't change much of the facade, but it does make you feel like you are in a literal opera house. the story tells of an opera within a musical, so they have many in-depth backgrounds because you are watching someone on stage acting like they are directing someone on stage. and, i swear, the chandelier! the freaking chandelier-"

you take another breather as he can't help the small giggles coming out of him, "so phantom has this chandelier that is a stage prop and actually hangs on to the ceiling because we are introduced to it as it slowly hangs at the beginning of the musical. the phantom, of course, haunts the theatre. so some strange happenings are going on as we also follow the main character named christine literally 'pay with her soul' to be good at singing operas. so let me tell you- imagine this."

your hands start to gesture all over in front of you, trying to illustrate your memory as best as you could. "i'm sitting at the front area called the stalls, where i can see the stage and all clearly. then, during the first act, the opera house is falling apart because the phantom overhears christine with another guy, raoul, and he gets angry. so, the chandelier drops! it actually fucking drops! i've heard that people say that it drops. but it genuinely drops so close to people that i can feel the wind of the swing above my head as it swings to the stage, it's just…" stutters coming out of you as you don't even care how ridiculous you look in front of him, "it's such a good design and shock factor, and it is connected to the story. it is so cool!"

"it seems to me that you enjoy musicals with a cool production design. i have come across some of it before when i recorded music videos," heeseung speaks, taking in your reaction but also adding his own take on it. he remembers the reminders and direction of his music video directors and of the set that he shot at, and you seem to enjoy talking about it more rather than the music in the musical itself.

yet, your answer says something that feels unsure.

"i do- yeah," the smile on your face slowly dropping down as he noticed it at the right time, "i do enjoy it…"

in an instant, awkwardness permeates around both of you as you continue walking down the path, crossing one road before the greenery takes over one side of your sight. heeseung's eyes face forward—getting rid of the tension seemingly bubbling—as he can see what looks to be another monument in front of a building, seemingly isolated beside two parks with high walls and fences around it. the building is still pretty far from where you are as the two of you are walking down the path there. heightened serenity exists between the two of you; nevertheless, heeseung can't help but think that he spoke wrong about the production design subject, as he felt his heart drop when your smile fades away.

a few minutes later, after a few more steps down the beautifully laid pavement, he breaks the ice once again, "why are you visiting london?"

a scoff came out as your lips broaden, wiping your hands to the side of your figure as a soothing gesture. nibbling on your lips of how ridiculous the answer is, you shake your head as you try your best to not only tell him, but hopefully make it so funny that it subdued the memory that had given you a throbbing pain before you actually take that flight away from home. "let's just say that i was conceived here…"

"what?!" his reaction comes out as he nearly stumbles before regaining his footing towards you. you affirmed your head, a slight part of your lower lip bitten to hold back your smile that eventually fails.

"my parents went to london for their honeymoon. i'm following their footsteps, but also added something more," your body is coming closer to his as you walk side by side. your digits brush a little bit of his outer shirt. "i'm travelling along the british isles. went to ireland and wales, and now i'm in london."

"where are you going next?" heeseung spoke. a hum came out of you.

"edinburgh. i'm travelling to scotland first before going down to the rest of england. then, i'll go back to london and that's when i'll be going home," you answer. the itinerary that you made, recheck, and memorised in your mind showing up as you can see the names of the cities and towns you're going to stop by. the ones that you've visited are already crossed out in the journal, the words in your mind flicker as you go down the memorised list.

heeseung stares at you, taking in your visage, "how long are you going to travel?"

"well," your head, all lifted with a chin up, now tilts down as you said, "until december. i've been starting since mid-august, landing in dublin first, then going around the island before going to this island from belfast. so yeah, five months, give or take."

his eyebrows are raised as he acknowledges with nods. five months is nearly as long as his own tour. he has been on a worldwide tour since last year. multiple countries, multiple continents, all to perform the songs he had released. he did went home a couple of times, having a rest for christmas and seollal with a one-week window time before and after to record new music or do meetings. he actually didn't realise that by the time he finishes his encore concert back in seoul, it is already near chuseok—approaching one year of an international tour.

time seemed to fly so fast for him. but he didn't realise the scope of what he was doing until he had your schedule to compare to. now realising that the tension that is evident in his body is a result of the stress of going around in one year, having to perform nearly every three nights. and now, heeseung can't help but feel a seething sensation to know that you are travelling within the UK and ireland—in one area—for almost half of his touring time. where in those months, he didn't even have the time to explore the cities he visited.

and now, with your footsteps moving in tandem, you both stroll to view the building and statue getting bigger. you stand on the wide pavement beside a small park as you let heeseung gaze upon the palace before him. he views the statue that encompasses many more statues. specks of people are across the street to where there is a barricaded area from the statue to the gate of the buckingham palace. from this, you can see some people are lifting their hands, holding their devices to capture this very moment. heeseung did it too as he tugs his phone out to take a picture—another piece of evidence of him actually being in london.

steps taken slowly, you now stand beside him near the black fence that protects pedestrians from zooming cars, vans, and bikes. the clicking sound of him taking a picture with his phone camera becomes a constant until it fades. your eyes gaze back at the palace view that you saw before—though you came from the other side as you arrived from the st. james park's tube station. even if it is blurry, you can see the signature red garment worn by the guards that protect the palace and the royals, along with staffs walking around inside the grounds.

"i think i remembered hearing that south korea was once also a monarchy…"

heeseung's attention reverts back to you as he lowers his phone, taking in the view of the place before him with no obstructions, "we do. all of korea. even in seoul, there are castles, parts of defensive walls that blend in with roads and parks. there's joseon, there's silla, there are many more."

"all of korea…" you mumbled, lips moving as you think, "i would love to visit it. and since you've said 'all of korea', i remembered that all korean men have to serve the military…" he raised his eyebrows because of your knowledge. "have you done it?"

heeseung shakes his head, a 'no'. "okay, is it because…" you reply, return your gaze back at the guards draped in red for a few seconds before going back to him, "are you afraid?"

in his ripe age of 25, he had a fair share of people all around him that has done their mandatory service. his manager, minhyun, worked as a social service agent—telling the younger of his experience doing military training, but also training with others. he heard stories from his brother and father too, whenever they had a family gathering. questions coming out of him such as: if he wanted to enlist, which one should he go to, which camp should he enlist in, and more.

heeseung remembers reading about the grade system and how the evaluation tells him if or where he should enlist. he doesn't really call himself athletic. sure, he likes basketball and all, and he had also done stamina training to last a long time on stage. but the thought of being on active duty, working with other soldiers, creating camaraderie to defend the country he calls home, scared him years ago. it's why he had been delaying to serve even though his brother served early before he turned 28.

the tales coming from the people in his life who experience it are not all black and white. minhyun mentioned how he became more appreciative of the people around him after helping them as his job. some people look much more muscular, more dignified, and a side of heeseung wanted to have that. he has always been jokingly called a lanky, even when he was in school. and that's why he puts his career first before the military, in a way for him to prepare himself career-wise, but also financially. something that he had to learn ever since he became an adult.

"i used to. but, i think i'll be okay," a small smile formed on his visage, eyes glancing to meet yours.

"i genuinely have to say this before i forget, evan. your english is so good…" you can't help but compliment.

"thank you. i, i think i did well. i mean i went to a language high school and also went to canada for a short course in middle school," he couldn't stop himself from chuckling.

"really? did you also go by evan there?"

"i have too. people there can mispronounce and misspell my korean name. i believe a lot of east asians do that so people can say their name easier," he blinks, remembering himself with rectangular-shaped glasses going to school in toronto for that one summer.

"shame on them, actually. why should you lot have to conform to them, even making up a new name that is more familiar with their language…" a huge sigh came out of you.

a scoff of surprise came out from the boy while he blinked rapidly; because he thought about it before. "besides," he gazed back at you, a sheepish smile on your face when you cut off his thoughts, "i think heeseung's a good name. evan suits you, and heeseung suits you more."

and with that, heeseung senses how his heart is pitter-pattering against his ribcage.

-

heeseung gazes at the greenery before him, some already losing their colour to brown as autumn is slowly coming. a cup of iced caffe latte in his hand as he peers at the back of your head, one step a bit forward from him. the little crunches against the dirt path enters his ear as he lets himself take in the park that he entered.

walking from the palace, he had asked you about what you had been doing in the city; little excerpts of episodes of your journey for more than a week here. you also add that even if you have never been to korea, you know things about it coming from your online friend that you met for the first time here. "she's a korean who went to oxford studying classics and oriental studies, from what i remembered. she actually is doing an internship at the victoria and albert museum. she was the one that i watched a shakespeare play with. because of her, i know a bit about ancient korea."

"that's awesome."

"yeah, she has a boyfriend who is graduating this year in new york city. so she was excited to visit him because she told me that the last time they met face-to-face was in paris," you said as you both carefully crossed the street. the structure of an arch stood before you as you walked past it towards hyde park.

his gaze moves to your own cold drink in your hand as he strides a bit longer to keep up with you. the wind blows against both of your outerwear as the sun shines above both of you behind the glimmers of clouds in the blue sky. bicycles went past both of you as he calculated how wide the path is. some areas are decorated with shrubs and trees. but behind it, a large grass patch with intersections of walking paths. right now, you two aren't going there as he follows you. tugging himself back into a comfortable position, he felt his sweat forming and being dried by his flannel shirt. heeseung can't help but look back at your keychains and pins and also at your enthusiasm about the plays and musicals you watched. he theorises that you were also an enjoyer of arts—adding another talking point that he can ask you about.

pigeons are flocking around and about the large pathway and also the path on his right. benches are placed meters away from each other as he sees you moving diagonally to the path connecting to where the benches are. approaching it, he can finally see the large body of water in the middle of this park. people are riding around in little paddle boats, floating along with swans, geese, and ducks. one bench sits a mother and her toddler sitting on her lap, eating his little porridge food that his mother is feeding him. on the other bench, a swarm of birds sit around a guy who is eating a sandwich, his eyes carefully looking at the avians as one of them hops close to him. the ringing of a bicycle bell turns heeseung's head to them as he watched two cyclist going in tandem. he felt the condensation of the cold drink in his hand as you finally walked to the side and settled down on the bench that sits across the body of water.

placing your bag and drink down, he sees you pulling off your outer layer as you let your skin breathe. a sigh comes naturally out of you as heeseung does the same—putting his bag alongside his drink down and pulling his flannel off. his sleeveless shirt lets the sun shine against the colour of his skin as he ties his outer around his waist whilst looking at you, who is putting yours in your bag.

"no matter how thin it is, i thought it would be colder since it's september. but i guess not," your comments earn giggles from him as he nodded. the ray falls on you as he watches how you close your eyes and take a breath. the clouds are separating as the sun pierces down onto the ground, making the temperature balanced after the cloudy sky that he had walked under since the start of his day. tugging his bag to the side of the bench, he sits directly beside you. your hands are resting on your lap, placed with your fingertips above each other. a slight breeze blows against the strands of hair in front of your face as he stares. his lips unconsciously move; nerves coursing through his body, making him react.

and as you open your eyes, focus coming back to you from the ducks who are swimming on the pond across from you, you turn your head and meet your sight with heeseung's. a smile growing on your face as it stops before going too wide, and he mimics yours with his own flavour. you scoff at his expression and suppress more of your smile as you lean back against the bench.

"the beatles weren't wrong when they made a song about the sun coming," heeseung chuckles at your statement as he also does the same—slouching against the backrest of his seat. the edge of your figures brushes against each other's as he sees a sliver of the rustling leaves above him from the breeze. the ambient sound becomes music in his ears as he can't help but form chords in his head coming from his perfect pitch—something that is pretty hard to ignore considering that making and performing music is his job.

shifting his head to your side, he then mumbles, "you met your friend who went to the university of oxford here…"

"yeah..?" you turn yours to find his.

"do you also went to university?"

the constant tap against your thigh stops as he watches how your eyes tilt downward. he can sense how your aura changes in real time. shaking your head, you bite your bottom lip for a few seconds too long before you finally say, "i did. but… yeah…"

"but?"

you sighed, "i actually graduated earlier this year. about a year late from a regular graduating schedule because i feel dissatisfied with the major i'm in and when i wanted to change, it was too late…" your lips are still apart, like you wanted to say something more. but no words came out.

"what did you study?" heeseung says, wanting to help guide you.

"marketing. when it was around the end of my second year, i realised that the major is wholly different from what i thought it would be. besides…" your eyes flick back to him, "a marketing student without a social media presence feels illegal." a chuckle came out of you, "what about you?"

"oh, well," he blows out his breath as he thinks back about the online classes he had to take. even the ones that he does hours away from the korean timezone, "i'm doing a bachelor's course through an online university, studying broadcast and entertainment."

"i thought you'd be doing music," a small smile adorned your face. he can feel himself nodding because that's the right course of study when he is a legit musician.

"that's the only relatable course to my work because i also study entertainment management." he rubbed his hands against each other. "though, i do want to get a master's. i can probably take a master's for that or music business. i, i really want to study in an offline university, but my job says otherwise." at the mention of you doing university—even if it's one year late—he could imagine walking around campus, meeting like-minded people and all. yet, you give him back a solemn smile.

"i can say that it's not for everyone." you then do another breathing cycle. "being a marketing major means that you are surrounded by ambitious people. people that wants to be bosses in their field, finance bros and sis who think that they are better than anyone else. it feels like a turn-off to compete with them academically. and that's why i just… finish and get a degree."

you pull yourself up from slouching, hands now crossed in front of your torso with the palms soothing the skin that they met, "but i'm glad that i found some motivation when i joined clubs. though it did make me realise just how wrong of a major i picked that i am already doing a pivot even before my professional career starts."

"what do you like then?" heeseung's voice glides to your hearing. your eyebrows scrunched in reaction, looking at your crossed arms, then to him.

"crafts." head turned slightly towards him, "it seems that i'm a complete of you because i dislike being in the spotlight. that's why i work backstage or behind the scene, but specifically the production design and props." clearing your throat, you then pull your bag to your lap as you gently hold onto the keychains while showing off your bag's accesories. "i made all of these by myself. started it when i decided to take uni slowly instead of following other people's pace… marketing doesn't really go in depth into the production of it as it focuses more on how to sell the product."

you lifted one of the keychains that he had seen: the die with so many sides. the strap of it is made to look like a vine or ivy. "this is a 20-sided die keychain i made. me and a few friends from the film and theatre clubs i joined play dungeons and dragons. so i made this for them all. i also helped the game master in prepping things. custom dice, custom miniature, custom terrain…"

as he listened to your current topic that lifted a smile on your face, heeseung thought back to your conversation about the musical you'd watched at the west end. how you seemed to make comments more about the staging, the appearance and direction of the show rather than the song or the actors performing. unlike what most people seem to gravitate towards. something that not most people would talk about as they are focused more on the spectacle of it all; the gravitas of the play and the drama that the characters went through overall. yet, you commented about how the chandelier in phantom of the opera like a character itself and how you can feel it falling on top of you.

"are you taking your trip only for… that?"

the keychain drops as you return your bag beside you and shake your head. "travelling does help in thinking on what to make next. but i travel because i want to self-reset, thinking about home from somewhere far can change anything. trying to find new experiences because i feel like i'm lacking. it's-" your hand forms a grip on top of your thigh. "something that i got, got make fun of. yet, when i try to blend in, there is still a barrier." your hands move to gesture, open palm facing each other yet not touching. "this barrier i cannot break. so i try to do it indenpendently, getting rid of my presence online and only have a select number of people i contact with from my parents, my close friends from the club, and to the korean girl i met online who now is my friend."

the hands now touch, then move to rub each other, which is more like a gesture of warming yourself instead of soothing yourself. heeseung glanced at your eyes, seeing a shine in them that didn't form more into tears. it combines with how you seem to find a perfect rhythm to calm yourself down. then, you look back at him, speaking with such steadiness that he can only see a little bit of your trembling lips after you exhale. a glint showing in your eyes, "that's why i'm not afraid to be seen with you. it's hard for people to find me anyway."

a smile etched on your face as he gazes. yet, he heard the muffled cries in his memory with his jazz songs playing in the background: of you in your hotel room. his eyebrows became furrowed from hearing it alongside the smallest thuds that he could catch from the barrier separating both of your rooms. with the little information you can tell him, heeseung might be able to piece together the big picture of what happened that night. yet, he still didn't find the flint that created the fire for you to wail in the night against the locked connecting door between the two of you.

trailing his eyes back down, he caught a glimpse of the ends of your wired earbuds peeking out from your pocket. he then reached for his bag to find his wireless headphones, remembering the first few sentences you said to him at the hotel lobby as he revealed who he is.

blinking away the emotion that almost spilt out of you, you felt something move against your arm. looking down, a hand pushed out with a dangling headphone adorned with stickers, nudging it toward yours. moving to the owner of the hand, heeseung has his eyebrows raised before leaning his head.

"you said you haven't heard my songs. i'll introduce them to you in their best quality."

you reply with your own raised eyebrow, peering at the equipment before you gently pick it up and put it on, adjusting the ear cups so that the cushion settles comfortably. heeseung let out a smirk, observing you wearing his headphones that are already connected to his phone. he opens the final intended folder without the compression that is expected from hearing it from a streaming service and presses the first file.

piano chords found their way to your eardrums as the sound expanded and you heard the man beside you sing. his voice was bright, airy, with a twitch of intonation that made it like it was trying to springboard up from the ground. the song continues as you can hear the raspiness in heeseung's singing voice, much different from the low-toned voice he uses in speaking. your head moved back at the high note he sings, guitar strings playing in arpeggio at the bottom. a smile threatening to show as you see him watching you with such an expectant smile.

one of his songs sounded like it came from the 2000s r&b scene and it made you surprised at how he is seemingly semi-rapping. your smile spills as you try to hold back by biting your bottom lip. heeseung already has his smile widen whilst watching you let go and bop your head to the rhythm. his voice sounded sexier here as you can imagine him smirking whilst singing into the microphone, even though you don't understand his mother tongue and only hear a glimpse of the english words there. another song then plays with another piano melody, now much brighter, before his voice is back—now a little more coy—as you don't stop yourself from moving your head in rhythm with the song. heeseung looked down at his phone to see which track you are listening to. seeing the minutes and seconds and the little leaking sound from the headphones, his body moved in tandem as his muscle memory moved to the choreography of the song, hands and upper body moving as your eyes widen because of his gestures. giggles filter out both of you as you then continue listening to the next track and the next.

as the last track finishes, you turn to him, peering your eyes all over him to read his body language. a breath hitch, you take in his songs and nod, now knowing what he meant when you heard him tell you of his career and the music he created now.

"and that's from your last album?" you confirmed, a pointer finger pointing at the headphones.

"yes, they are. any comments?" his arms open, "i'm okay with any, even negative ones."

"if you're sure… umm", you unconsciously lick your lip. the wind grazes now from behind you as it blows a few strands of your hair. his hand is itching to brush it away as he then heard you hum before you speak, "i like the mixing. it sounds nice with your voice because," you pointed towards him, "i didn't know that you have such a versatile range."

"thank you," heeseung bowed his head, already anticipating more comments as both of your eyes met once again.

"i do think that the tracks feel short. maybe some of them feel incomplete. i don't know if you're the one who is meddling with it, but because you said that your agency gives you a producer, it may come from them?" your head slanted, the headphone touching your shoulder as he takes in your comment. heeseung couldn't stop himself to think back at the comments and reviews of his latest release that other people have written, remembering much of the same keywords. 'feels too short,' 'incomplete structure,' 'it can be more.' but your comment after it did struck him. that even if he is the producer that has the highest stake on this project, he couldn't release anything without the approval of the higher up of his label.

your eyes blinked for a bit more as you watched him take in the comment, seeing his eyebrows subconsciously, showing you his reaction as you find the right timing to call for him. "evan?"

"heeseung," he corrected, eyes moving back to meet yours.

swallowing down your saliva, you asked, "can i listen to your old songs? the ones you made from your old label?"

the man's sight went back to his phone, seeing the reflection of himself in the black mirror. he expected it when he remembered what he told you. and so, his thumb gently presses the display to light the phone's screen up, and he scrolls to find the list of songs he made back then—the ones that are forgotten because his label couldn't promote them alongside the one he has now, even if all of the copyright and royalty of those tracks are owned by heeseung. his sight returns to you, focusing on your face as he presses the play button without looking at it. and in an instant: your face twitches with the reaction.

lips slightly pouting as he read your expression that is full of surprise, knowing that the song he chose is drastically different from the one played before. much slower, ballad-y; ethereal. seconds pass as your head moves in synchrony, making him look down as he sees the title of the song he wrote that focuses more on guitar chords in reverb. your gaze looks back at him, and he watches them gazing down his sitting body as your head moves into a slow, yet rhythmic bopping.

it continues with a few more tracks as he reads your reaction. other than the producers, engineers, staff, and fans all around him, heeseung had never seen an unbiased person reacting to his song. someone that doesn't have a stake in his revenue and a blank check with a recognition bias towards him. he nodded his head alongside you when you pointed to the cup again multiple times while mouthing, "you have a female vocalist too?"

"one of my old labelmates before it went bankrupt. she is now in a band," he mouthed back as you continue hearing. heeseung only catches the way your lips and mouth react as the tracks play one by one. you were biting your tongue as your head danced with the rhythm, mind somewhere else as he heard the leaking sound of a distorted guitar part—making him let out a small smile.

when it is done, as he looked at the phone to see the rundown run out, you actually let out a long exhale and slant yourself against the backrest. hands gently pulling the headphones of your head, you turn towards him with an agape mouth, his headphones resting on your lap as you shake your head. "i… i hear the influence of those tracks in the latest ones you made. i just think that it is more diverse in these ones, though."

"really?"

"yes, really. you-" you then bite your bottom lip, stopping yourself from grinning. yet the corner of your lips has already risen. "i didn't expect those sounds playing from the music you create now. from the soul to alternative rock, it is so different to the easy-listening r&b tracks in your new release."

softly, you lifted the handphone and handed it to him. and as your fingers brushed his, a gasp came out from both of you as he stare at his belonging and then at you—to find that you had this tinge in your eyes that contrasted with what you told him.

"you can tell me," he encouraged, staring back at you with a much looser dynamic. yet, from the way the tip of your tongue brushes against your lip, an animosity is evident in what you're about to say.

"it seems…" your eyes move to one corner of your vision, flickering as you think of the right word until you find it. "that these older tracks are livelier? like it has more soul in it. more of you in a way. i mean… i don't know you that much, but… it's much more you. it encompasses you more."

heeseung's nose flares as he feels the belief that he thought about previously—about his career, his creation—coursing through his veins. yet, he finds himself still defending against comments that he knew were truer words. "it's probably because i'm the main everything in those tracks, while the ones now are collaborations with more people than my regular team members."

you hummed to his reply as he tried not to let it show to you just how affected your words are fueling his doubt. doubt about what to do next after the encore concert. doubt if his current company will give him more freedom like the one he had compared with before—to let him experiment back into the roots, extrapolate the branch to see the evolution of not only his music style, but also himself as a musician and as an audiophile. listening to jazz again makes him discover and explore other artists and genres beyond the r&b label he is assigned with, especially international artists such as aphex twin or sigur rós. and deep down in his heart, he wants to be able to experiment like them.

"what do you wanna make next if you have full control instead?"

"jazz," he instantly uttered, "full on jazz. a combination of big band and slow jazz. yet, it also has to have its traditional pop element, which i don't mind." heeseung shakes his head at the thought, "but it's not a thing i can do at my current situation."

"how many years do you have in your contract?" you spoke, body fully facing him as your arm rested on the backrest of the bench.

"one year left. i signed a five-year contract, and i'm now in my fourth year. and i-" the doubt flows heavily to the front of his mind, lace against his tongue as he gnaw on his cheek of what to say after. "i think i've reached my peak."

your facial expression expands at his last words. eyes wandering once again to read him. and you blink slowly and shake your head, "no." you started small. then he felt how your hand on the bench's backrest approaches his own on his lap, brushing but not fully holding as he watches how the hand hesitate, pausing for a few seconds longer before retracting. but before fully retracting, his hand flew and grabbed your hand with his. not the small grip you did to pull him along so he didn't get lost: a full, deep grip with your palms facing each other, fingers automatically move to interlock with each other as you just then realised what is happening.

"why are you saying that?" heeseung's voice starts slow.

"because you still have potential to do more. hearing you say that makes it seem that you want to give up on your music career. but i do think that even if this one chapter ended, you still have more to offer. more to live. and if experimenting is the way for you to thrive. then do it, no matter how scary it gets." your tongue wets a small part of your lip as you raise your drink and consume it. the figure before you taking in your words as he waited, both of your fingers still tangling with each other. a strand of your hair flew against your face as you brought your drink down, eyes not meeting his as he felt your fingers twitch.

"i'm experiencing it myself. to try things before it's too late. even if my marketing degree is something that i sometimes regret, i know that i still have time to do something else. even if it gives you new challenges that you must try to overcome yourself. maybe with the help of your support system." your connected hand gently moves as you talk, letting the boy feel how your gestures also speak to him. his eyes follow your lips that are changing their shape with every word, speaking with experience that you've done. but when he reverts his gaze back to your eyes, he could see a crack forming in it with the way you're thinking about it. the crack of the eye of the person who is crying that night in the hotel room. that when you said you speak with experience, you actually are, and he can sense that that experience also hurts you like his own hurts him.

that's when heeseung unconsciously gives a tight squeeze in that grip. a squeeze of assurance that he understands what you're saying, even if it is vague.

-

the sky seemingly turns brighter as the sun shines at both of you as you stand by the path, one of your earbuds dangling beside you as you give back heeseung's phone, letting him see the many pictures of his candid self. both of you now without your outerwears as you let your skin take in the afternoon sun. his giggles caught you abruptly, phone screen pushed towards you as he shows the pictures you caught.

"i like this one so much," he shows it to you. a blurry picture of him in front of the green trees and bushes that would not be there in a couple of weeks with the autumn season fully come upon the place. a wide grin on his face as you remember his laughter by making him follow your guide, pressing the capture button as much as you can. seeing that picture specifically makes a smile grow on you, of carelessness in his figure. the hesitation and doubt that has been plastered on his face since you both talked at the nando's back in covent garden is gone in the image. even if you have met and get to know each other for the past hours, you now realise that he is not what he seemed. that beyond his level of fame—his face that is plastered along the hallways in the tube—heeseung is still a creative through and through, more than a celebrity.

and that he is also caught in his own crossroads, like you are too.

you both then continue walking side by side, sensing a tug as you watch him place the dangling earbud to his own ear, letting him hear the sound of the whimsigothic song that is playing. both of your pinky fingers were brushing against each other as you both walked down the path. there's an open field on your right as you observe people having picnics there with their blankets laid out and lunch boxes scattered around. there's a few university-aged girls seemingly running around and taking their own photoshoots in the rare sunny day in london. it makes you unconsciously hold onto his pinky finger before you let go when you realise—and heeseung seemed to realise too.

"i- sorry," he called out, and you shook your head.

"no! i'm sorry. i-"

"i'm genuinely sorry because i forgot to ask you back in the hotel. before we," he lets out a smile that is now as loose as the picture you took, "you know, we hold hands and such. um," both of you then slowed your steps, not wanting to even stop when you both realised just how limited your time is—he mentioned the hour back at the bench across the serpentine where ducks and geese swim about.

"are you… dating someone?" the question—even if you expected it—feels so unfamiliar.

"i'm not. i'm single now. well, i have been for more than five years or so. i had a boyfriend back in high school where we dated for, like, a year until our last year and we broke up as we both separated to different paths." you think back of the guy that you dated, a seemingly lucky scenario of you who is merely an average jane in your high school to attracted one of the best athletes in your year because you both were seatmates. but you still remember being ridiculed because of it, of how sometimes he limits you to hang out with your friends. that breaking up before finals and graduating is the clear choice as you don't want his ego to tie you down. however, the ridicule did grow something within you. things that you didn't think about then, now have moved to the forefront when you hear people talking about your relationship, insecurities that made you step back more and focus on one thing: creating away as a tool to take your mind somewhere.

"it's more like the saying," you glance at him, "about focusing on loving yourself first before you love other people. i think that's what i'm doing right now. well, it always has been my journey since the end of high school." your glance then meets heeseung's eyes, tilting your head to him as you both still walk in tandem. his gaze has something that you have only seen in actors when they are acting in a romance film. something you couldn't describe in words, but made you feel more of your hammering heart on a sliver of his feelings for you.

'but surely it's not that, right?'

"i'm also single because of my job and hectic schedule. i do know that people have crushes on me, both publicly with the fans but also privately with some other idols and staff members. it's just that…" heeseung unconsciously brushes his bangs away, letting a ray of the sun shine on his light brown locks. "i didn't look like this at school, and i believe that, even if you are good-looking, what makes people attracted to you is the impression that you have. but i want people to see the things beneath that impression that can be interesting, so that they don't see me only as someone handsome."

your eyebrows scrunched at his word, a hand holding onto the wires gently so that it doesn't get tangled when you both are trying to keep up with each other. "i think that thought shows up from that time in middle school where i liked one of the popular girls. a type of teenage love that she didn't reciprocate. well, i was not the good-looking guy at that time. still having a bowl cut, playing a bunch of games, while also learning piano. and i'm still that same boy, just grown up." the man meets his eyes to you once again. "so that's why i still feel weirded out with the idea of people liking me. desiring me is probably the more correct word to use."

nods come naturally for you as you imagine the description of a younger heeseung. the bowl cut hair sticking onto his head from the sweat of the school day. his face does not look as mature as today; his face is a bit softer still, with his large, beautiful nose. you can't help but chuckle at the image as he talks to the image of a popular girl in school who came into your mind. how innocent it feels, but also how the rejection helps him grow into himself years later.

"that could make a good topic for a song, you know?" you replied, nudging his arm as he let out laughter.

"i think i've written lyrics inspired by that, even if it isn't openly inspired," he answered. both of your pinky fingers are still brushing against each other until one swing of your movement makes your own hook with his. but instead of pulling away, now with a clear status that each of you had, you felt heeseung's pinky curl further in. now connected not only from the sound of the song that you both are hearing together, but also on the pulse that flows through your connected fingers: the pulse that is getting more and more prominent.

you both walk side by side as you arrive at the marble arch underground station. now being the right time to let go as you both have to be seperated to pass the fare box and the escalator—"we blend in by doing what the locals do," you remember reminding him when you both first rode to paddington station. as you arrive at the platform, you are full-on continuing to talk to him about letterboxd and how you have successfully make heeseung an account there as you both sitting around by the serpentine.

"h_evva_n? like evan but also heaven?"

"that and a little hint of the h for my birth name," he mentioned, saying that it is the name of his personal private instagram account as he opened his instagram to see the 'official heeseung' account with nearly a million followers compared to the one named evan with only nearly a hundred people. then, you showed him the interfaces of the app, on how to record the movies that he watched. which made you have a frown when he finally told you that he actually doesn't watch a lot of movies.

"but movies are good storytelling inspiration. like ariana grande with eternal sunshine of the spotless mind." you go on in a tangent that made him giggle as he promised to watch more movies in his spare time. after helping him put on his four favourite films, you finally tap in your username so that he can see your profile, your thumb moves as you make him follow you and you give him back his phone before opening yours to follow him back. his eyes are moving around your account with a patron tag beside your profile, the profile name of your username, "n0veltyd1cemaker", and the backdrop of your favourite movie plastered there. but he caught onto one movie in the first row he saw, and he had to voice it out.

"koyaanis… qatsi?"

"koyaanisqatsi, yeah," you reply as he reads the poster of the third movie of your four favourite. eyes watching as he opens the movie profile and reads the synopsis. "it's like a long music video. non-narrative documentary of pure editing and cool ass soundtrack by philip glass. it gave me an existential crisis."

"is that the most experimental movie you've watched?"

you hummed in agreement, "well, currently it is. i actually have another one that i still haven't gotten the time to. but it is a four-hour long chinese drama movie named an elephant stitting still. i have to gather myself up to watch it because i know it will be painful, for me, honestly." and you watched him with his lips now agape, baffled with your choice of a movie to watch as you both continue to converse.

by the platform, you then are talking to him about the tv shows that he watched. the earbud is back in his ear as you bob your head to the song playing. then the announcement of the incoming train rings as you brace yourself beside him, standing still against the wall as the train zooms past you both and the wheel screeches to a halt.

"we're gonna transfer at bond street to the jubilee line," you remind him as you stand forward, seeing a glimpse of his nodding head as the door opens and you both step inside.

the cart is much fuller than when you rode the tube before. you both find yourself standing on the other side of the cart from the open door. your hand securely hold onto your bag as the other grabs onto the pole, squeezing yourself into a corner. a bunch more people are moving to find a comfortable space to stand and you find heeseung standing in front of you. the proximity between you and he making you hold your breath as you feel the brush of his sleeveless shirt against your torso. you glance at the pole you were holding, feeling the cart moving as he holds onto the pole and puts a hand on the glass door to not crush you. his hand wraps the pole above your own, skin now grazes against each other. reverting back, you notice him looking at you in quietness, the r&b song continues to play in both of your ears as you can't seemingly look away from him. his eyes now piercing with the look that you've seen when you walk to the station, but now with even more clarity as you try your best to breathe regularly.

then, as you notice him leaning closer, the cart slows down when you look outside to see that you both arrived at bond street to transfer. his hand that was holding on to the pole now goes to hold yours. the bud gently fell from his ear as you slid out of the crowd and he followed. all seemed natural as you both didn't question the gesture until you arrived at the stairs going towards the next platform.

the cart in the jubilee line is much emptier as you two find a place to sit down. your hands are placed on your lap on top of your bag as you take in the rumbling heartbeat against your ribs. heeseung has his posture more relaxed, spreading his long legs in his vicinity and even touching yours. head tilted back as he closes his eyes to take an eye break. you watch his adam's apple bobbing as you can't help but nibble on your lower lip before shaking your head.

'you're thinking too much,' you remind yourself as you look away at the board of the next stop to the abbey road area you promised to bring him.

walking up the stairs, the sky that greets you is now cloudy, with the sun once again blanketed by the light grey balls of evaporated water. your eyes are observing the four-way intersection as you remembered what the map tells you to go. tucking your ipod and earbuds away, you waited to cross the street. heeseung standing beside you, eyes blinking rapidly as you both cross the road. the area you find yourself in is filled more with locals. some mom-and-pop shops are scattered about as it also blends in with the residential houses. by the looks of it, you can guess that this area is still as expensive as ever to live in, with its proximity to central london.

and so, you both walk on the pavement, beneath trees that has its leaves and branches shadows you as you continue to your destination. your sight is focusing on your right, where you find the famous pedestrian crossing. and you followed the street until you arrived at the three-way junction and saw the street name bolted on a building standing in one of the corners.

"abbey road…" heeseung said beside you. your eyes are looking around to see that there are only a few people. mostly are tourist as they are recreating the very picture that the beatles did for their album cover. you glance at the man beside you to see how he is blinking in near disbelief, that is before you feel him gripping onto your hand as you stand at the end of the road before the very crossing, letting the cars go past. and when you walk across, you feel his grip tighten—letting him take in the place.

"i should recreate this. we should," he said when you both arrived at the other side, looking back to find people crossing before it gets empty as another tourist walks to recreate the photo. but, before you say anything back, you felt a tug that brings you down the street to see a white building with a thin gated barrier. cars and vans strewn inside as you read a few writings that people made whilst slowly walking towards the entrance of the vicinity.

"abbey road studios. this is where they record their songs!" heeseung exclaimed as he walked towards the gate. the signage tells of the name there, with a list of their opening hours. doodles scattered on top of the white-painted walls surrounding it. his hand was already pulling the phone out of his pocket and pushing it towards you. "can you take a picture for me here?"

"of course!" you grabbed his phone and let him choose where to stand while you looked through the screen with the grid lines. moving the camera to make his head appear in the middle of the nine boxes, you quickly press the button after telling him that he can start posing now. from the screen, you can see heeseung let out a small smile before it slowly gets wider, and then turns into a grin as his head moves around. you can't help but also let out your own grin watching him pose. that, even with the many times you take a picture randomly, he still looks as photogenic as ever—making something settle in yourself about your own photogenicness. there is a reason as to why it also makes you like working behind the scenes more, too.

you continue capturing the images as you see him candidly move to look at the side to find something that enlarges his eyes. finally, you stopped as he walked away from your frame, making you pull the phone down as you see him approaching an open door to what looks like the store for abbey road studios. another building there specifically to sell merchandise, supposedly. you stride behind him as he pushes the door, the colour scheme of white, red, and blue greets you as you find several items of merchandise of the beatles. scattered about in the small store, your eyes look around the tactful looking products that showcase abbey road studios' iconic logo and also an homage to the doodles that exist on its premises. writings of numerous fans of the musicians who have recorded their music here. stepping beside heeseung, he gazed at the pressing of albums recorded in this very studio. the beatles' abbey road prominently shown as it is eponymous with its name and the studios' fame.

"i think it's a dream of every musician to have a chance to record their work here. same with electric lady studios in new york." he carefully picked up one of the vinyl pressings of abbey road. "this is my favourite beatles album. a return to form from their more conceptual album like sgt. pepper."

"hmm," you reply before he faces you, "i can see that. mine's either revolver or rubber soul. depending on the day."

heeseung chuckles at your answer as he puts the item back. then you follow him as you let him see around the room before stopping at the shelf selling guitar picks that is illustrated with the graviti-esque art style of the abbey road studios. grabbing one which is full of six picks, he went to the cashier while you waited by the exit, which is separated from the entrance.

the door opens as you pull, letting the outside air in as you heard him saying "thank you" to the cashier before meeting you and tilting his head for you to go out first. stepping down a few steps from the building, you found another wall that is full of doodles. mentions of the beatles, the likes of lady gaga, pink floyd, but also of people just wanting to plaster their presence here, makes you feel a clench in your heart. an image of a tourist that also has come here and written down with a ink pen of their name and date, telling you of how they stopped by here before you. you can hear the sound of pictures taken as heeseung's camera is focused on the wall, letting him memorise the trip here too, beyond what he bought in the store.

you both walk back towards the crossing to find that it is nearly empty. fewer cars and vans are scattered as you find him staring at you again with a knowing look. like clockwork, you accept his phone as you try to remember the angle of the beatles' album cover so you can perfectly recreate it.

"i think doing it vertically is better than horizontal," you said to him as you moved the phone upright in your grip, pulling away from heeseung as he settled by the edge of the crossing. looking at the empty road, you quickly step onto the asphalt with one eye open, focusing the screen to find the right ratio of foreground and background as you count him down.

heeseung walks into the screen and you quickly capture the photos, walking from the left to the right as he seems to widen his stride to make it look more similar to the album cover. he can't help but let out laughter as you scramble back to him on the pavement. pulling up the gallery, you let him scroll down the ones you just captured and hearing gasp in awe.

"fuck…" the second time you heard him curse makes you taken aback but amused at how he reacted, "this looks SO GOOD!" eagerness comes out instinctively as he pulls the phone away to face you. "now i can take a photo for you too."

"ah," your head shakes, "no, please-"

"why not? you have come here, and it may be a once-in-a-lifetime thing. you should memorise it," he tries his best to convince you as you continue shaking your head.

"there's a reason why i don't take a lot of photos of myself alone. i-"

"need help?" you both turn your heads to find the sound of the deep voice calling for you. an older brown man with salt and pepper hair, walking towards both of you. a lanyard around his neck that shows his identification, though it's unintelligible from where you are standing. "i can help take the photos for both of you."

you glanced back at heeseung to find him looking at his phone, then the older man, and then to you, "we can let him take our photo, and we can walk down there together."

the older man lets out a warm smile whilst looking at heeseung before nodding, "come on now. the sky is getting greyer every second here." he speaks with a tinge of the london accent you can hear.

turning back to heeseung, you nodded as you stepped aside and let heeseung tell the older man how and where to capture the picture. your eyes glance up at the sky. some semblance of branches is visible in your sight as you notice the sky that is getting greyer—per what the older man said. heeseung comes back to you as you both walk down the pedestrian to get the picture.

"okay!" the man said, "ready when you are."

in an instant, you felt heeseung's hand gripping onto your left one as your startled self makes both of you laugh. your eyes are staring at him, who is looking behind at you. heeseung is one stride in front of you with the glint in his eyes while you both are walking with wide smiles. arriving at the other end, more laughter erupts from both of you that you can't help but crouch down to calm yourself down, wiping away the hair that covers your face as you hear the older man's footsteps stopping behind you with his own chuckle.

"thank you so much," heeseung said as you turned to find him already tucking his phone back. you quickly brush the creases and folds of your clothes and make sure your bag is okay while pulling your phone out to open the map app once again.

"we don't have time. we should go to notting hill as soon as possible," you remind to heeseung.

"going to notting hill from here? that's gonna be a long walk, or are you riding the tube?" the older man said.

"we were thinking of using a bus," you reply, knowing from the mock test of the routes that you pick that there is no convenient way to go to notting hill from abbey road easily.

"or you can use my cab," the older man said before turning his head. you can see the black cab parked there with no driver in sight. you know that riding around in a taxi here is pretty expensive, hence why you ride around with the underground train and buses most of the time. but you glance back at the clock in your phone to see that it is 3 minutes to 4pm, and you realise that you have so many things to do in notting hill as the place where you haven't explored much here. with a sigh of both realisation and relief, you nodded.

"that will be great, sir."

"come!" he gestures you both towards the vehicle as heeseung glances back at you and you nod your head in a reply to him. he helps open the back door to let you in, scooting to the side so that heeseung can sit next to you. the ignition starts as the older man—the driver—settles into his seat and turns on the fare meter for your trip.

"any specific area of notting hill?" you see his wrinkled eyes in the rear-view mirror, looking at you and heeseung which he could probably see only half and half of each of your faces.

"i think the portobello road market would be great."

"of course, miss!" he said enthusiastically as the vehicle lurches forward. the man doesn't even need to use a map as he manoeuvres the cab towards the homes. your hand resting in the gap between you and heeseung. your head is looking out the window as leaves move from the kinetic energy of both vehicles and the air drafts across the city. the building you went past all seemed similar: blocky with gypsum trails on the outside. some are just entrances for a house that are usually two stories high. some have gates around them—the wealthy people—where they can park their vehicle inside their houses' premises. yet, even though this is right on the edge of central london, it definitely is not as crowded with the evident residential presence and the smaller businesses on the main roads.

"where are you two from?" the driver said from the front seat as you focus back inside the vehicle, sensing heeseung's finger brushing yours.

"uh," you glance at him as he replies with a nod, letting you take the lead. "we came from two different nationalities, actually. we met in london and are spending the day together."

"hmm!" the older man hums, seeming enthusiastic from what you can see with the rear-view mirror. the older man's eyes, with their creased lines, smiled whilst looking at the road. and that's when you felt a warm glare piercing through your temple and heeseung's hand that moves to hold onto even a few of your fingers, finding comfort.

and you let him.

-

it only takes around five minutes to reach portobello road with the cab—a good time investment when you see that it's already past 4pm when you arrive. as the realisation dawns on you about the man beside you, you stay mostly quiet as the driver tells him of his own little escapade when he first arrived in london.

"i met my wife in an irish pub somewhere in east london. the crowd was alive there 'cause a band played an irish jig. we dance almost all night and then when to eat together. the rest is history." you let out a smile at the image of the man several decades ago, dancing in an irish pub with someone who will be a significant part of his future. heeseung replies with his own, "i haven't actually got the time to go to any pub. it's actually our last day in london."

and you let him continue the conversation for you, saying that he is a musician while you are a craft business owner. half-truths spoken to not only conceal his identity as an internationally famous idol, but also because he doesn't know what you are. well, you don't know what you are yourself and have been allowing this trip through the british isles as a way to find it. however. the way heeseung spoke of the things you've done today seems so enthusiastic to you that you are left in a dissonant state.

your little journey here encompasses only around seven to eight hours of your life. yet, he tells it with storytelling prowess like what a singer-songwriter does when making lyrics. it is at hearing his words that you taste a little bittersweetness on your tongue, that you have under two hours to explore a neighbourhood you have been wanting to visit when you made your flexible itinerary. that you have limited time around with him, and that—even if at first felt awkward—now feels fun. reasons drill into your head as you think back on the voyage you both had, on how you try your best to not be seen in his photographs because you are merely there. a speck in his big, big life. you had resorted to sinking your hope down because, like a lightning in a bottle, this whole thing is near impossible to do again.

heeseung and you will go your separate ways after today. and you don't want that to affect the rest of your journey. nonetheless, you felt yourself slipping up when you first grabbed onto his hand and thought that it felt different from the moments when you were merely wanting him to catch up to you.

larger trees become less and less as you arrive at a neighbourhood. the taxi is moving underneath a viaduct, where you can see trains going above. two huge concrete blocks are placed at the entrance of the road and the cab slows down by the pavement before it. your hand already reaching for your bag as another one stops you, looking up to find heeseung's face around 30cm in front of you.

"let me pay," he persuade with enlarged eyes and the tousled bangs on his forehead. nodding slowly, the tinnitus receded as you could hear the continuation of the older man's question with heeseung answering.

"thank you so much," the word let out easily from you as the older man also thanks the two of you back. heeseung helping to close the door for you as the cab scurries away towards a group of tourists hailing it to come. looking around, the grey sky is slightly darker. the thick clouds only let a little shine of the sun to pierce through as you walk towards the closed-off road. footsteps following beside you.

entering the road, you see many tents and booths on one side of the road, and many types of shops on the buildings on each side of the road. being there on the weekday afternoon means that there aren't as many people here. some of the booths have half of their stock gone, especially the ones that sell food. clothes are hanging from hangers in the tent, and someone even brings out their van as a place to sell things. the walk continues, easier to do on the asphalt street and a less crowded street. you remembered from the map where you put all the locations that you want to visit, that down the street you are on is where the electric cinema is located. a cinema that you wanted to visit after visiting prince charles cinema back at leicester square. but now with heeseung with you and limited time, it is compromised. maybe someday you'll be able to visit.

"ooh," you hear him gasp as heeseung walks toward one of the tents. a lady around ten years older than you is residing at the front as you look at the table full of charms, keychains, and stickers. vintage-looking charms that you can feel your eyes sparkling at. gently picking one of them, the lady says, "it comes in two. for you and your friend there."

turning to the side, heeseung is focused on a few necklaces, a slight pout on his face as he focuses on the item. this is the place where you are free to shop around, of course, and you sense warmth spreading in you at how excited it all seems to be for him. 'maybe', you look down at the chain once again, 'it's a good gift for him.'

"can i get the pair?"

the transaction is quick as you hastily put the small paper bag with the items you both inside the pocket, your figure already approached heeseung, who is now looking at a few clothes at the stall next to him. his eyes widen to find you before turning back. "the style matches you more than me," as you catch the flap of your bag that looks vintage enough closing whilst you scoff.

"even if i can buy clothes, i'm trying to limit myself because i have a lot of things to buy at the end." you winked after saying it to him, making him nod in return.

"i feel the same. i can't exactly buy a big thing because i'm not the one who handles my suitcase. it might've already been checked in when i arrived at the airport."

you both continue to walk down the road, passing one intersection to continue down the blocked off portobello road market, where more stalls and booths are there. your eyes enjoy the window shopping as you feel yourself holding down on going to buy something for yourself. 'focus on experience first, especially for him,' you remind yourself. your bag brushed against your side as he took his footsteps alongside you. what you didn't realise was the way the sky had darkened enough and you felt little drops from above that you think it is sweat.

however, then it gets quicker, heavier, and you only take a glimpse at the sky before the droplets start to fall more heavily.

"run!" you exclaimed as the sound of the rain got louder, pouring down hard. your feet stepped on the asphalt that was getting wetter by the second as you turned left at the intersection to find shelter in a doorway of a closed store. heeseung follows behind you as he has a grin on his face. his sleeveless arms have droplets of rain trailing down his skin. you felt something dropping down your face as you wiped it away, chuckling at the situation as you glance back at heeseung in this small haven.

"you're gonna get a scolding from your manager," you joked at him as his chuckles continued.

"let him…" he turns his head to find your facial expression mimicking him. in an instant, you sense that warm feeling again. your eyes that were trailing his slightly wet arms go up towards his face, finding the smile slowly drops with his lips now ajar. the proximity of the walls and the rain before you makes the warmth stronger and you feel yourself sinking back, already leaning against the wall as your legs are brushing his. heeseung's lip is slightly dry as you forgot to remind him of his chapstick—something that you'd seen him wear with his stylist before leaving the hotel lobby. however, you felt the magnetic force making both of you closer.

you don't know which one approaches closer first, but you think that it is around the same time when you felt his lips on yours. soft, gentle, hesitation. his eyelids flutter to a close first when you can see a few drops of rain at the ends of his eyelashes. your hands are aching before finally resting on his shoulder, holding yourself steady as you fully close your eyes and let the sensation hit you. your wet t-shirt suddenly feels dry because of your fastening heartbeat, flowing more blood around your body because of heeseung. your lips experimented, moving slightly as he also adjusted, puckering up as you pout as well. a slight push from each other so that your lips are fully meeting.

you are kissing heeseung. heeseung is kissing you.

and with that realisation, you both pull away with only a small distance between your lips. eyes dazed as you try your best to read the situation.

"heeseung?" you started,

"(y/n)?" he replied.

"heeseung…" you answered.

"(y/n)," he echoes back, letting his forehead rest against your own. your eyes are looking down, away from his eyes as you shake your head slightly.

"heeseung," the voice that comes out of you is more stern, grounded. yet still in bafflement, "what have we done?"

you see his hand move from the corner of your eye, resting on your face as his thumb brushes against your cheekbone, making your eyes flutter as you meet his gaze.

"i don't regret it…" heeseung spoke. his hand continue to cup your face as he pulls back, shaking his head to show that he indeed didn't regret kissing you. a frown naturally forms, eyebrows scrunched. yet he continues to hold your face as you read into his eyes. the warm feeling you are sensing coming from them.

with a little nibble on your bottom lip, you then said, "i don't regret it either…"

heeseung glances to the side where droplets pour down from the small canopy, "i don't think the rain is going to stop. we have to move." his hand left your face as you moved to peek from the entrance, looking at what is beside the store as you find the familiar sign for rough trade.

"we can go to the store beside here," you return to him, "it's a music store."

without hesitation, heeseung walks first into the pouring rain to the slightly larger entrance of the store, then looks around to see that you are correct. it is, in fact, a music store. posters of various musicians are plastered on the window as he reads the writings. you are following behind him when he gently pushes the door open. the sound of a song playing in the background as rows upon rows of vinyl discs are placed in crates. something that overwhelms him because it has been a while for him to even buy physical releases. heeseung does collect them back home, but only the albums that he truly enjoys.

his shoulder brushes against yours as you go by, looking at the featured vinyls by the wall and the ones on sale. the signage that says downstairs is tempting where you can see genres that you enjoy, such as new wave and jazz. but you try your best to find the section that you want to show him. heeseung strides behind you, following along as you go past the pop and rock area. bands and musicians you've heard with their famous album covers are plastered on the wall. but your eyes are focusing on finding the r&b section.

you felt the warm gaze—heeseung's—beside you as you were digging through the crate with the label. eyes looking through the names and images on the outer sleeve of the album cover. you carefully move them to the front with your fingertips, pushing the edge of it towards you. then, when you see the familiar green album with the yellow and red accent, you hear the man beside you gasp.

"i've seen the album before," he mentioned as you showed him.

"erykah badu's. i think you'll like her songs. but honestly, i think you like neo soul in general. like d'angelo?" your free hand mimics a brain explosion gesture as heeseung laughs. you looked back at the packaging once again before putting it back into the crate, "as much as i want to force you to buy it, it's gonna be harder for you to pack it up."

"that's right," heeseung says, his hand tugs on the shirt around his waist as he unties it and slowly puts it on. his eyes are looking around the pop section when he catches the crate that has a k-pop label. his heart starts to beat faster as he remembers that the label did make a vinyl edition of his newest album. his fingers moving along to dig through the crate—lesser numbers than the other pop section that is divided by the alphabet—to then discover the familiar album cover. heeseung sensed a presence beside him as he shifted his head to find you, eyes already on the cover.

heeseung pushes gently so you can see clearly, "this is the album that you've heard back at the park."

"the one you're touring for?"

"yeah," your eyes focused on the cover after he answered back. the image is fully black and white, a blurry picture of heeseung. but with the distance in the photo and him being angled to the side, you can trace him clearly. a gentle smile formed on your face as you felt an itch on your hands to bring it to the counter and buy it. however, you have your own limitations with the duration of time you are still travelling and the limit of your luggage. maybe, if you visited another rough trade or other music store that also sells k-pop releases before you go home, you may still be enticed by it, knowing that you genuinely wanted to support his career.

after placing the release back into the pile, heeseung gave you nods, understanding the same sentiment as the one he has with the erykah badu album. you open your bag as you put on your outer once again, helping you to at least protect from the raindrops. you looked back at the clock to see that it was near 4.30pm and the fact of the matter of your time together running out became a motivation to continue on.

opening the door to the outside, you both stand under the cover as the rain still swarms, yet not like a shower that happened around 10 minutes ago. you are genuinely mad at yourself for leaving your umbrella in your carrier at the bag storage of paddington station. and so, you turn to heeseung and said, "we're going to go pass through the rain towards that road. just follow me."

"alright!" he spoke back, a little louder to fight against the noise of the rain. counting down, both of you blasted off towards the direction that you are pointing. you're running slightly in front under the rain, hearing heeseung laugh at the situation as he kept up with you, trying his best to cover his head with his bag as his clothes are still getting damp. you were more daring, only covering the area above your eyes so you could see clearly before glancing towards heeseung, following his laughter with your own as the rain felt more magical than ever—as if all the challenges and limitations you both are feeling disappeared for a few minutes.

looking to your left, you see the sign with the blue background of the notting hill bookshop. though not the real location of the movie, it is inspired by this very bookshop where you felt your own heart pitter-pattering. you pushed the door of the shop open and held for heeseung to step in. as quickly as you can, you grab pieces of tissue that you kept inside your bag to wipe away the drops so that it doesn't get the books wet. heeseung grabs a few after you offered him and does the same, wandering eyes scanning the interior. a small shop with books scattered along the surfaces with a few people in it, including the staff. taking refuge in the shop, you smell the familiar woody scent of papers. the wooden-panelled floor creaks as you walk in with the man behind you, trying your best to navigate through the small shop as you stride to the back of the store to just find more books.

heeseung looks around overwhelmingly. most of the bookstores he go to in seoul are the big chains that sell more than books. a usual place where he buys his stationery needs and also finds k-pop albums. nevertheless, the small rooms connected to each other with books and items all around do bring him a sense of warm comfort. his eyes stay on you as you shift around in amusement, focusing more on the books than ever. an endearing view in his eyes.

"you've heard of the notting hill movie?" you break the ice.

"you know that i don't watch a lot of movies…" heeseung remarked as you snicker, turning your head towards the path you are coming from.

"this bookstore is the one that inspired the one in the notting hill movie, which is about a bookstore owner in notting hill and his relationship with an american actress who is working here. they actually shoot the movie around notting hill, which makes it cooler." your words reaching him while you move to the front of the store once again, making him notice that—because of the fame of the movie—they are selling merchandises. one of them are postcards as he trails his sight to find one that is actually a poster for the movie and the one beside it with the shop's signature blue colour contrasts the white words.

"'i'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her,'" heeseung heard the sound clearly, realising that when he averts his eyes, it was actually your voice speaking it, which seems to be the quote of the movie. as your lips closed after the last few words, your head twitches before turning to face him. though his eyes peer down to your lips, the very lips that said those beautiful words—creating an underlying resonance between the two of you—and the very lips that he had kissed. he is genuine with his answer in that small doorway. that he didn't regret anything when he kissed you; that he felt better because you reciprocated it, or when both of your lips met halfway, as he was certain that he pushed forward first.

he wants to do it again in this small bookstore hallway, heat now engulfing you both instead of the cold rain. but he sees the many people surrounding him and settles to just put himself closer to you, placing a hand on your back as a pout formed on your face. heeseung takes in what you've said about the movie set in this very neighbourhood, and based on your reaction as you said those words and feel his touch, he knows that you see yourself in the same position as the protagonists. and it is something that he wishes he could talk more about with you.

approaching the front, heeseung gazes at the stacks of books with differing covers. you already have a journal in your hand that you want to buy when you stopped at one side and looked at the books there. your free hand picks one up, turning the book around to look at the front and back covers, before glancing at him, "you read books?"

"sometimes. currently no."

"i was thinking, if you want of course," you push the book to his chest, making him pick it up to read the title 'pride and prejudice' on the cover. "just as a little memento and the fact that you need to watch more movies, we should buy these and read it, knowing that we have the same copy of the book." he watches a scoff came out of you, pursed lips move around as you speak what's on your mind, "maybe, someday if we met again, we can compare notes on the book. and you definitely have to watch the 2005 movie. one of the most beautiful movies i have ever seen."

heeseung's gaze looks back at the book as he thinks of your proposition. as much as he doesn't want to admit it, he is ever so close to getting a burnout. self-reflecting on what you both talked about—how he doesn't fully see himself as an idol, when you mentioned that he sounds livelier in his older songs—songs can only be created so much with the story he had inside his mind. books can be a good way to add to it, reading other people's stories to see if he can make something out of it; either inspired by said book or adapting what has been in his life to the scenario in the writings.

"that's a good idea," he voices out with the corner of his lips tugging upwards. you nodded at his agreement as you took another copy for yourself before going to the counter to pay. he glanced back at the book again, already thinking of something to make it more personalised, before grabbing it and queuing behind you.

the rain is still pouring, lighter than before but still heavy enough to soak your clothes if stayed underneath for too long. and so, after tucking your newly purchased journal and book into your bag. you stand in front of the closed door of the bookshop outside, face to face with heeseung who is looking at you for confirmation.

"honestly, i'm a little hungry."

"me too, and a little cold," heeseung answered.

"we should find a cafe near the station."

"yes, please," he replied, a hand offered as you connect it with your own.

"i'll let you lead the way this time. just go towards more to the right because that's the way to our station," you remind him as you feel him brush his thumb against the back of your hand. with your fingers interlocked, he pulls you away from the bookstore and into the rain.

both of your bags are bouncing from your movement as you both run down the wet pavement and even the empty roads. your shoes got splashed by some of the puddles as you had to remind yourself to change into your other pair to let this one dry. you felt your face getting wet from the rain pouring, already expecting to find the makeup you wore more smudgy than ever—you do like your makeup a bit messy anyway. heeseung continues down the concrete, observing the exteriors around him, when he brings you to a prominent road with wider lanes. turning right like you said, you both swerved around people walking with their open umbrellas trying to find a cafe. the boy sees the bridge and a passing train above it: the station that you mentioned that will bring you back. his eyes look closely at the windows as he finally found a cafe pretty near the bridge and brings you to the terrace. he heard you let out a sigh as you peered at the small establishment, wiping away the drops on your face, finding your hair strands clumping into one another.

the cafe is quaint and empty except for one barista who greets you. heeseung quickly settles on the chairs by the window, liking the idea of spectating the outside world while waiting for the rain to stop. the grey sky blanketed the sky as he couldn't tell that it was already five until he checked his phone. instantly, he can now feel the tiredness spreading around him from walking and standing for a while.

"evan," he heard your voice calling to him, "do you want a hot or cold drink?"

heeseung approaches you and stands behind to scan the menu, letting the proximity warm you both up as he points to the drink he wants before you order your own drink and a pastry you and he will share. "let me pay for it," he said right into your ears, and you peek at him before mouthing, "okay."

after he settled the payment, you both went to your seats with the table settling between you. putting a hand on your chest, you hoped the pressure would help calm you down as you finally settled down in front of him. and when he catches your eyes, giggles bubbled up from both of you. with hours now in between the moment when you sit across from him in that nando's, you can already feel the difference. this one is more natural. a few barriers are left between the two of you after spending your day with him. and now, as you sit in this small cafe in notting hill with the evening approaching, you can feel your heart dropping more and more inside you. a way to cool down your day, but also another step to face until you finally separate from each other: him to seoul and you to your train going to edinburgh.

silence envelopes both of you as you stare at one another, letting the day sink in, sensing how the sweat and rain are combining on your skin. the sound of the espresso machine working in the background fills the air as you piece together the questions you want to ask. your eyes notice him settle his hands on the table, clasp with each other, as you inhale to speak.

"how is london?" the question sounds simple, yet heavy at the same time.

"i love to explore more. but the places that you bring me to are great."

"glad to know, um," you turn to see the barista putting the drinks and croissant down on the table. replying with gratitude, you quickly grab your cup and drink up the warm drink. licking the excess of the drink from around your lips, you glance at him while he also takes a sip of his drink, hearing his hum before slowly putting it back on the small plate.

"you do really want to go to notting hill, huh?" heeseung started asking.

"yeah! well, other than the movie, i think it's just a cool neighbourhood. it's like a microcosm of the city with arts, markets, famous landmarks, and more. there's even a walking tour around the neighbourhood. i was considering if i could get one, but i like travelling all by myself more," you said whilst nodding your head. "and i hope you'll like the pride and prejudice book too. i don't know if i may have coerced you into buying because of me, but i genuinely like how the movie looks and i think i can see myself liking the book too." eyebrows scrunched as you gesture towards his bag.

"that's alright. i want to read more books as well. so it's good to have that one now, especially because you're reading it too," heeseung remarked, picking up the fork to gently get the pieces of the croissant that you have requested to be cut off. relief flows all over you as you take another sip, warming your body up while you let the background music from the cafe fill your presence. that awkward feeling comes once again, not because of the unknown that you both have and navigate with by talking to each other. now, it is the awkwardness of how to end it; truly ending it.

"it makes me happy to see you enjoying the neighbourhood. you do like production design a lot from the movies you mentioned and what you said about the plays and musicals you watched." heeseung notes something that strikes you, to think that he must have observed you so closely to see how you tick with your joy on those things made your cheek feel warmer than even the beverage before you.

"and also with your education and what you told me. about what you're doing," he added, eyes fluttering as you watch him thinking of something. the corners of his lips fall to their regular shape, but his next question hits you more, "is that why you're crying last night? something related to it?"

"you… heard it…" you mumble, not intending to be a question but you see heeseung nodding his head. and immediately, the many things you've done to avoid thinking about what you received last night are shattered. the cracks let the memory of the moment that breaks you in and spread all across your thoughts. even if you know heeseung is your hotel room neighbour, you felt sorry for him to hear you wail.

"it is actually something related to it," you started. he deserved to know because you caused a hindrance to him—on the night when he should've had the best rest after a while.

your mind thinks back to the scene from last night. you see yourself in a third-person point of view—like a movie or stage play—heartbeat drumming against your chest, the laptop opens as you open the pages to find the thing you are looking for. breath held for a long time as you read what the screen shows, holding strongly against the wooden material whilst not realising that a tear had slid down your cheek. you had to push yourself away from the desk to actually react with your entire body.

"it's… about my future… after the trip…" heeseung already watching you with his frowning eyebrows. your head is shaking to calm yourself down. "i didn't get it. the grant."

the man who sits in front of you let out an exhale. a grant. a grant for you to do something. and based on the way your eyes are starting to water, a grant to do something that you love.

"after this trip, i was hoping to go back to school again, but now for arts and crafts instead. production design as you mentioned, creating something for movies or the stage." you started slow, in chronological order, so that he understands where you are coming from. because the person in front of you is your definition of the epitome of success. a well-known, wealthy korean idol who has already done an international tour at the age of 25. and you, being the same age as him, have accomplished nothing. "so i applied for a grant specifically for arts and crafts. i pour my experiences from being a tech in theatre, creating things, and making a portfolio, into that grant. the staff was so nice when we had an interview about it and they reacted positively… then seeing the rejection broke me."

your hands on the table, clenched into a fist—stabilising you as you can already feel yourself trembling. "it makes me realise just how much of a failure i am. that even if i pour something into what i love, it's not enough. i'm already two years behind my friends who are thriving in their lives. and i don't want to go back to marketing anymore because i gave up so much to leave that world. and yet, when i want to move on, the universe seems not to allow me." heeseung watches your lips pursed, letting out an exhale as you continue speaking softly, "i was also not having the best time that night. someone was advancing at me. i multiple times said no and i had to be saved by the bartender before i saw the email notification for the announcement. it cummulates into what happened last night," you scoff at the notion, a tear falling down your cheek, "i didn't even sleep in the bed last night."

heeseung's heart tugs as he observes you. the muffled sound of your wails from behind the wall now has a clear definition—he described it as agony. the sound that he had also related to as it becomes the catalyst of the doubts created in his mind about what he is doing. from his eyes, you are the bravest person he had known. you had a similar experience to minhyun; you pivot from what you have spent a long time doing to take a different path. and even if his first company went bankrupt and had to let him go, his luck found him to minhyun and he, along with the label, managed him until he is at a level of career and fame that he never expected. yet, tiredness always stays idle beneath his skin. he never has a good night's sleep ever since a week after he signed his new contract—only the ones that came from the doctor's order so he can feel better in his ailments. in his eyes, you are more experienced than he is in living. however, when he heard your reasoning, he felt it too. he will turn 25 after his encore concert back in seoul and he doesn't know what to do next. his encore is similar to your grant, because it is a catalyst to know what path he'll take in the future. heeseung thinks back on the words you've said as he heard you sob, muffled by you covering your face with your palms.

"i feel it too," he started, making you lift your head up, "when i heard you cry last night, you were acting out on what i'm thinking. i genuinely don't know what to do after i go back to seoul and perform my last concert for the tour. though, i do know that education doesn't have to be the sure way to secure your future. i," heeseung points to himself in the middle of his chest. "i never learned music formally. i went to a language high school, like i said before, because it is a sure way for me to get a stable job. because even at that age, i knew doing music is risky. yet, i try very hard to make a hobby that i love into something that i can do for my life. you heard my history."

"i did," you whispered back.

"and it's not as fun as yours. i would love to study at a university on-campus. finding people with similar tastes as i am and connecting through that. but i chose to sign an idol contract and have been working almost non-stop for the past few years." his adam's apple bobbed as you gazed back at him with watery eyes, thinking into his words as you imagine heeseung being someone at your campus. and the epiphany of him not actually having done that.

"i will say… start small. and i think you already did when you told me the things you're going to do during your trip," heeseung echoes, his words referencing the words you said before about yourself. the corner of your lips curls upwards. he remembers.

"you told me you like making miniatures, small sceneries too, and your username is 'novelty dicemaker'. i think going into the business route can be good for you because you have some of the knowledge from your marketing school," his voice sends out a clear message. "it's like songwriting for me. small parts, maybe the lyrics first, and maybe the melody first, but it combines. of course, there are things that i am not an expert in. but combining what you learned is worth more than starting from zero again, and you can learn more on the road."

heeseung sighs; the words he spoke out of his very lips feel real to him, too. if he hadn't learned in a language high school, maybe he would only be learning a certain music genre without knowing what it means in their countries. he couldn't be talking to you in english clearly, even if some of the words he had spoken seem not natural enough for a conversational english level. but he combined that to make memorable and understandable lyrics that the k-pop industry needed, especially one that likes to combine both english and korean even in the same line, now with the right grammar. if he didn't learn languages, he might struggle to communicate with people—especially with the many times his multilingual studies have helped him survive in foreign countries, no matter how broken they sound against a fluent speaker. and as he blinks on his thought process, he can't help the doubts that linger about his career. facing a different case from the same root.

"i'm- no," he mumbles, correcting himself, "i know i'm not perfect. the songs i made go through a process to be judge to see which one is the perfect one to be included. but i'm also not perfect based on the choices i made. and the consequences have reached me now because i never felt this free in a long time." you heard a sniff coming from heeseung as he lets out a shaky breath. "i think i need a change of something. when you mentioned that the music i made before sounds livelier, it made me evaluate my process and realise just how limited it has been for me. even if a soloist has the most creative freedom, i'm still under my current K-pop-focused company. and i realised that i…" heeseung looks down—the words right at the edge of his tongue—and observes your hand on the table moving towards his. a slight brush against his knuckle as he blinks in rapid succession before finishing his sentence.

"i realised that i don't want to be an idol anymore. i want to focus on being a musician, a producer, a songwriter, instead of an idol, because idols are perfect. and i know i'm not. and i can't keep up with it anymore."

"then become something else." you say the words that are nagging in his mind, "you can be beyond what you were thinking. if an idol life is not for you, it's not gonna be the end of the world." eyes also look down, now with his fingers nudging to be placed in between yours, as an epiphany comes to you, "we're still young. living the first quarter of our lives. we are still able to change. i mean, i am right now… i think self-evaluation, like what you said before, helps to find the little things in your life that feel like they can be more. and, i'll probably say that you may need to wait after your encore concert to think beyond your current state. give yourself time to evaluate yourself."

"evaluate yourself…" the phrase came out of heeseung's voice like an echo as he nodded before letting out a solemn smirk.

"yeah, and um," your fingers finally curl against his, making him turn his palm to lock his digits with yours. "thanks for hearing me complain about things. and also for the advice. i know that it seemed so sudden, and i'm sorry for disturbing you last night."

heeseung reverts his mind back to the jazz in his ears, with the sound volume decreased as he heard your cries. and before him is the person who has told things regarding it. and now, the same person is the first person who knows about his hesitation to continue to be an idol. "thank you for giving advice too." his hand caresses you gently, "we are not perfect after all…"

"no, we aren't," you echo his sentiment as you lock your eyes on him. you see the little bits of tears in the shine of his eyes, and when he lets out a small smile, you also show yours, making you both snicker at each other as you turn to the window and look at the rain. seeing a little light from the moving cloud that is slowly turning purple.

finishing the cut croissant that is divided evenly between the two of you, you let the last of your drink down as you savour the flavour, gently putting the cup down on the table. as you stare at it, you notice heeseung opening his bag from the edge of your sight and pulling out something. a white colour showing to you as he pries the plastic container open. the sounds of objects jumping enter your ear as he stabilises it, before showing it to you. the familiar colour scheme and doodle style raise your eyebrow as you take a quick peek at the little pocket in your bag.

"here's one for you," he picked up one of the guitar picks from the set of six—the one he bought at the abbey road studios store—before pushing it to you. your eyes looked at the graffiti-style typography on it before you hold between your fingers. "i don't know if you play any instruments or not. but i did think of giving one of them to you. just a little something to think back on me and today."

a chuckle came out of your lips as you slide the pick down to your palm before you curl your fingers, covering it. you personally don't play an instrument, but you'll keep it somewhere safe. maybe, sometime in the future, you have a desire to play a guitar, and you can use the pick heeseung gave you.

he then looked back when he heard a little crack in the air as the guitar pick he gave you rested back on the table. and he traces your hand as you also pick up your bag and open a pocket, pulling something out of it before covering it up with your fist. you pushed that clasped hand out. "here, for you to remember me also," you said, turning your hand so your palm faces up and uncurled your fingers. on it, two matching chain full of charms are resting there. a large blue button hanging on the end. a small charm of a king of spades card and a queen of hearts card on each charm, then decorated with stars and little colour beaads that match and complement each other. heeseung's hand gently pinched to pick one up, staring back at you to see you nod, as he holds it before letting it fall into his other hand.

"now we have something of each other," you uttered as he replied, "agree." eyes staring at one another, a smile grows on your face as it also grows on heeseung's. both of your bags are on your lap as you gently hang the new matching charm with the collection of yours. whilst heeseung's placement made his bag less empty with a tinge of colour evident there. the appearance of it made you smirk as you saw it dangling under the light of the interior, but also from outside.

peering outside, you see how the sky is more orange than blue; the rain has gone back to a light one that made people brave enough to go around without their umbrellas. and then, you looked down at your clock to see that it was 15 minutes before 6pm. and when you look up, heeseung's gaze is already on you as you nod, seeing him let out a small smile, which is different from the glassy eyes that are evident.

both of your bags are hanging by your sides, straps adjusted to your comfort as you take a glimpse at the matching chain dangling from heeseung's bag. you go past the fare box and up the stairs to the platform. the outerwear now sticks to your clothes, wet patches still evident on some parts of both of your figures. bringing one of your buds to him, he naturally picks it up and places it in his ear, letting you take in a song that is to your liking—a shoegaze song colouring your hearing as you wait for the train to come. a few minutes later, the familiar screeching from the train braking to a stop is getting louder before it fades as the cart stands before you. the door opens as you are met with a less crowded cart—because people are using the other way more to go home from central london.

sitting down beside each other, heeseung gently picks up your hand and locks it with his, resting them on his thigh as you view outside at the buildings pasing by, riding onto the track on the bridges you went right under in that black-coloured taxi. as the music plays and you both watching the sky getting darker and darker, heeseung relaxes himself against his seat before he felt something resting on his shoulder. he finds you there, head leaning to the side to rest on him, as he had to hold himself from emoting with the caress from his thumb on top of your hand.

the call for paddington station makes you both sit up before standing by the door as it opens. the outdoor platform lets you breathe as you walk up the stairs towards the main train station. gently, heeseung returns the earbud to you. yet, the hands never let go as you walk through the fare box. the train station is bustling with people once again. the lights are now turned on and bright as ever. you still find some people looking at the board to see their train schedules and location of their platform.

and now, here you two are, standing in the middle of the station where people are walking all around you. his way to heathrow airport with elizabeth line is on one side, while your ride to king's cross station via the circle line is on the other side. your luggage stood around you as you tug your backpack on top of the suitcase, the handle slipped through the little part of the backpack to stay in place as you glanced at heeseung, who was haphazardly putting his book copy into his bag. you both stood in front of each other. the usual giggles coming out of both of your lips as you face one another.

"remember, ride the one with the last station as heathrow airport. i don't want you to go to reading or somewhere else," you reminded him as he took the advice, "oh, almost forgot." you lean in closer, lowering your voice, "UK airports are notorious for making people walk through their duty-free area. so, if you are not interested to buy duty free things, just follow the main path and go quickly. i had an experience of watching a group running through because they almost missed their flight."

"noted," he replied, voice lowered to follow yours. your faces are now closer to each other as you stare at him. then instantly, you felt him wrap his arms around your figure—something that you reciprocated back. your head rested on his shoulder, both of you giving a tight squeeze on each other as the warmth that came from his eyes now flows through you. it actually made your eyes flutter shut with the comfort. but then you felt him move slightly back as you saw his face clearly.

even with blurry eyes forming, you captured his lips perfectly. his soft lips greet yours one last time as your hand moves to cup both sides of his face. you felt his tongue sliding across your bottom lip as you took him in, letting it meet with yours as you both tried to memorise each other. a kiss that is built on the one you had at notting hill, yet this one now pours a ton of history and memories. you sense the fallen tear from your eyes as you pull back, looking back to see that his cheeks also have trails of tears.

"oh," you commented, wiping the trail away as you calm him down with soothing gestures against his cheek.

"i want to say thank you. for being here with me. help me navigate through heavy things. making me evaluate myself more than i could ever do," heeseung says, his voice sounded a little shaky as you give him a light kiss on his cheek.

"thank you also, heeseung. if it's not because of you, i would probably give up on my goal. but now i know that there is someone rooting for me." you spoke back as heeseung can't help but give your forehead a kiss. then it trails down the bridge of your nose before it lands on your lips as you both kiss again for the next five seconds.

you had to make yourself let go as you feel your heart aching. hand holding onto the handle of your suitcase so it doesn't look as shaky. "remember to watch before sunrise."

"i will," he replies immediately. then you turn to look at the clock: 5 minutes before 6pm, and him about to leave the country at around 8pm. slowly, both of you take steps away from each other towards your respective sides.

"goodbye, (y/n)." his voice rings as you pull the luggage to you, stepping a few steps away from him so that you don't get your impulses to react and give him a hug again.

with a curt nod, you reply, "goodbye, heeseung."

and with that, you turn around, walking towards the way to your tube line to king's cross. away from your travel companion that you've spent your day with. away from someone who has made you feel something you haven't felt in a while. and as you turn around to look back at him, he is already there, staring at you, unmoving from his spot.

"if you go to korea," his voice rings louder, still loud enough for you to hear against the bustling crowd of commuters, "let me know, okay?"

"yeah. okay!" you nodded as you watched his smile widen with a wave from his hand before turning around, making you both turn to go to your destination. the suitcase glides with your control as you arrive at the escalator leading you to the entrance of the underground. and you turn back once again, trying to find him. your eyes glide around the floor to see if you can find a familiar bleached, dirty blond-haired boy with a wet flannel outer clinging to his skin like what yours are doing. your sight looks straight at the entrance of elizabeth line to find someone in the same description standing meters from it. and he turns around too. the crowd seemed to feel the weight as you had a clear eyeline on him, and with that, you waved your hand at him, and he replied to yours with his own. waving until you feel satisfied.

and for the last time, you both turned away from each other. letting the day go by as you take you separated ways.

in the train car, heeseung stares out at the sky getting darker and darker towards the outside of central london. true to your words, the elizabeth line train is wider compared to the ones in the underground. his eyes then look down at the charm you bought for him, hanging on the zipper of his bag. then at the copy of pride and prejudice book you both have. he pulls it out, opening the page with the title as he sees your signature there alongside a sticker with the typography of london that you gave to him as the staff brought your belongings out when you are retrieving them—a sticker that will be added to his suitcase, knowing that it is also matching with yours.

as you walk from the platform you arrived at into king's cross station, you are met with more people. it is probably because the station is beside st. pancras—an international train station that can lead you all along the european continent. you guide your luggage around people as you walk towards somewhere heeseung wanted to go, but due to time constraints, you both are not able to. the harry potter vibe of the platform 9 3/4 gift shop hits you as you see there is still a queue for people to take a photo at the cart installation there. and in honour of him, you enter the shop.

"there you are- your clothes are wet," minhyun commented as heeseung arrived at the airport terminal. his eyes were gliding to find the recognisable staff members in his entourage, and he found the familiar figure of his manager.

"got caught in the rain. don't want to be late," he spoke back before minhyun pats his back.

"well, i hope you had fun with her," his hyung continues and as the thought of you came into his mind. eyeline meeting yours even across the large paddington station.

"the most fun," heeseung answered, gaining a smile from his manager before he moved first. "come on, we have to quickly get in because my friend said the path to the gates will be long."

with a can of butterbear-flavoured cookies tucked inside your backpack, you are sitting facing the crowd whilst eating dinner, waiting for your train. staring at the schedule on the screen, you find the name of your train that will bring you to edinburgh, seeing how it has an on-time status. turning to the luggage beside your seat, you found the matching sticker that you bought for you and heeseung already sticking onto the exterior wall—adding to the collection of cities you have travelled to. remembering how you will arrive there by the morning, you hoped that once you get on the train, you can get the most satisfying sleep, and you hoped that heeseung also has one in his long flight. you turn your head to look at the screen, seeing that it is already 8pm local time.

by the gate, heeseung is waiting in line to get onto the plane. his hand is moving to review the pictures you took of him. the ones in hyde park, some outside of the underground station, at abbey road. but also a moving picture at the famous crossing that autoplays when he comes to it. he realised that it was the result of the taxi driver helping him. but instead, he gave heeseung a video. and as he replays it, he watches you and him walking down the crossing together. a smile etched on both of your faces as he pauses the video and zooms in on the frame with your face clearly smiling. he felt a tug in his heart looking at it, but it was something that made him feel better as he thought about what you're doing right now.

at around 9.45pm in king's cross station, you have entered the platforms and guide your luggage down the long path. your eyes looking back at your phone to see the seat number that has been booked under your name. pressing the button to open the door, you picked up the luggage with both hands on the handle and you then walked towards the luggage compartment, placing your suitcase there before bringing your backpack to the overhead compartment of your seat by the window. peering outside, you are met with the brick walls of the station, another set of trains across from you as you feel your eyes closing. the heaviness in your heart is relieved because of your talk with heeseung. and whilst you wait for the other passengers, you reach for your messenger bag to find the pride and prejudice that has heeseung's signature on it. but your focus is on your journal as you update your day as fast as possible before tiredness consumes you. from the ups and downs and all, you write it down so that when you read the entry, you will remember exactly what the memory is in your mind—scenes will show in your mind. you try your best to do so until your train departed. looking back at your clock, you can't help but think about heeseung now, whose plane has already taken off.

around 10.000 feet above the earth's surface, the plane is one hour into the 13-hour non-stop flight to seoul. heeseung sits in the soft cushions of his business class seat—courtesy of his company's hospitality—as he look at the screen to find out that the plane was now flying above switzerland. even with the dimmed lights to let people sleep, he couldn't feel the droopiness in his eyes, and so, he pressed the control to open the in-flight entertainment. maybe a movie can help him sleep.

scrolling through the list of movies in korean and in english, he looked at the poster one by one before stopping at one. the colour on the poster is pastel with pink being the dominant colour. there are two people on it. the girl is lying on top of the guy's lap, staring into each other's eyes. heeseung's sight moved to the typography beside the two people: before sunrise.

the very movie that you mentioned reminds you of this whole ordeal. the movie that you are adamant for him to watch. the movie that made you compare him to the male character. and hearing the way you comment about it makes him curious about how those two characters decide to travel a city together. to let him be curious as to how these two can create feelings like the way you both have for each other, even if shown through gestures and kisses. and so, he sets up his seat and puts the wired earphones into the jack that his seat provides, carefully wearing them.

then, with the poster of before sunrise right there and its synopsis that he had skim read—his promise to you rings in his mind, remembering your face before him. heeseung presses the play button.

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