Wrestling Is Fake

Hiroyoshi Tenzan vs. Satoshi Kojima

This is Tenzan's retirement match, and the fact it's just a five-minute exhibition tells you how thrashed his body has to be after a 35-year career. I first saw him wrestle when I started watching New Japan in 2015, and even back then he was positioned as the lovable old-timer whose best days were behind him. In that time he's been inseparable from his longtime tag team partner Kojima, so it's no surprise who his final opponent would be.

Tenzan hasn't had a match since April, and he hasn't faced anybody one-on-one in over five years. His last singles victory was in 2018, and his last match against Kojima was in 2015. I never experienced the peak years of his career, but for eleven years I've listened to the English announce team put over this broken down old man as a fearsome legend, and they made me believe it. It's tough knowing his last match is going to be a physical struggle to go more than a few minutes. But it's nice that he gets to go out near the end of the G1, when the world is watching.

I guess it's possible this will go to a draw, but at this point going the full five minutes might be asking too much of Tenzan. I'm thinking Kojima will pin him after about 90 seconds, so we can get on with a lengthy and much-deserved retirement ceremony.

Yota Tsuji vs. Yuya Uemura

This is one of the semifinal matches in the G1 Climax tournament. Tsuji is the IWGP heavyweight champion, but his title isn't at stake during the G1. He finished A Block in first place, and is remarkably close to winning the tournament that is meant to set up a challenger for his title. Uemura is the runner-up in B Block, and obviously wants to win the G1, but beating the champion here would be a major accomplishment in and of itself.

These two were intense rivals in their Young Lion days. In the 52 singles matches where they've squared off, Uemura and Tsuji have posted an incredible twenty-two draws. Since Yuya returned from excursion in 2023, however, they've only had five singles encounters, with Tsuji leading 3-2. The most memorable of these, in my mind, is the hair vs. hair match in February 2024, where Uemura had to shave his head. Tsuji has had the edge ever since, and Yuya's career isn't going to get to the next level until he can get a winning record over this guy.

I don't think the top champion in New Japan has made it to the final of New Japan's top tournament in a quarter of a century. That doesn't mean it can't happen--I figure sooner or later they'll try it just because no one expects it--but I wouldn't count on it happening. Someone needs to beat Tsuji to set up someone earning a shot at Tsuji's title. Maybe if Shota Umino hadn't been sidelined at the start of the tournament, it could've been him. But honestly I think Yuya is a better candidate. Even if he doesn't win the G1, I'm picking Uemura to go over tonight.

Callum Newman vs. Ryohei Oiwa

This is the other G1 semifinal. Newman finished at the top of B Block; Oiwa came in second in A Block. Callum's shoulder was fucked up when he lost the IWGP heavyweight title in June; it is certainly not doing much better now, after the war he had with HENARE to get here. That's a big problem when you're facing a guy who combines mean-guy strength with technical prowess like Oiwa. Gorilla Monsoon always said you're never gonna beat anybody with a headlock, but Oiwa is turning his headlock into a finisher.

I think this is Oiwa's match to lose. I'm not saying he's a lock to win the G1, but I can't see Newman going to the final. Callum had a fine run as champion a few moths ago, but he's already secured his spot as the top heel foreigner in the company. New Japan needs to build up top Japanese babyfaces to Tsuji's level, so they need to push Oiwa sooner rather than later.

An Oiwa vs. Uemura final is probably the best possible outcome. Granted, last year's G1 ended with a Takeshita vs. EVIL match I refused to watch out of spite, so we know New Japan is somewhat allergic to doing what's best for the company. But heaven help me, this time I really believe they'll do the right thing. Oiwa for the win.

Aaron Wolf & Oleg Boltin & Tatsuya Matsumoto vs. Zack Sabre Jr. & Kosei Fujita & Hartley Jackson

Sabre beat Wolf in an interesting block match a couple days ago, so I guess this is following up on that. Maybe they'll set up Sabre chasing Wolf for the NEVER title? Boltin is the STRONG champion so I suppose he needs a challenger too, but I don't think we're going to deal with that on this show. Matsumoto is the young boy in this match so I figure he'll lose the fall.

Shingo Takagi & Yuto-Ice & OSKAR & Taiji Ishimori & Gedo vs. Yuji Nagata & Togi Makabe & Toru Yano & YOH & Master Wato

Takagi, Yuto, and Oskar all had respectable showings in the G1, but none of them are going to be the focus in the heavyweight singles division anytime soon. I assume Yuto and Oskar will be back to chasing the tag title this fall. The big news in this match is Nagata and Makabe both showing up; it feels like we're seeing each of them less and less as their careers wind down. I'm sure they're in town for the Tenzan retirement ceremony, but I'll be happy to see 'em do a few nostalgia spots here. I feel like Shingo's team should win, except Gedo is easily the weakest link, so I dunno.

Gabe Kidd & Wheeler Yuta vs. Drilla Moloney & Daiki Nagai

I haven't kept up with the undercard tag matches on this tour, so I just noticed Gabe Kidd didn't wrestle in any of those. Which means this is the first time on the tour that he's needed a partner, so he's brought in the Death Riders' designated young boy. I'd like to see more of Kidd vs. Moloney, but I don't think it's in the cards. Gabe will probably squash Nagai, and then move on to a rematch with Shota Umino for the IWGP global title.

Konosuke Takeshita & El Desperado & Ryusuke Taguchi & Taichi vs. SANADA & Ren Narita & DOUKI & SHO

Take came awfully close to making the semifinals, but it wasn't to be. Oh well, he's already booked for a big AEW international title bout at Wembley Stadium, he'll be fine. Sanada and Narita represented House of Torture in this year's G1, and weren't as annoying as the House was last year, but also weren't very memorable. I was thinking Sanada might beat Takeshita to get back in contention for the television title, but no such luck. Maybe Narita can pin Take here to set up a match? I don't know why I'm trying to think of ways for House of Torture guys to get title shots, they fucking suck. Anyway, the House of Torture team will probably win just to fuck with me.

HENARE & Great-O-Khan & Francesco Akira & Jakob Austin Young vs. Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI & Masatora Yasuda & Taisei Nakahara

Thekla vs. Willow Nightingale

Thekla is defending the AEW women's world title. Nightingale was forced to withdraw from this year's Owen Hart tournament due to a shoulder injury, but she managed to return in time for a July 8 gauntlet match to earn this title shot. Her spot in the Owen went to Mercedes Mone, who won the whole thing and earned a title shot on August 30, presumably against the winner of this match.

I forget when exactly I realized the sunny happy Willow would be an awesome opponent for the toxic, hate-filled Thekla, but at the time they seemed far away from one another. That may have been on purpose; at one point AEW planned for Willow to win the Owen, and I'm assuming the idea was for this match to be at Wembley. At the same time, there's clearly interest in a rubber match between Nightingale and Mone. (I wouldn't be a bit surprised if the original original plans for All In were Thekla vs. Toni Storm for the world belt and Willow vs. Mercedes for the TBS belt.) So it almost seems like a formality for Willow to win the big one here and go on to her bigger rivalry. Except they've done a good job building up Thekla vs. Mone as well, which is a nice touch. I can't tell which match they actually want to do next month.

Thekla's sidekicks, Julia Hart and Skye Blue, are bound to get involved, unless maybe they get a match in the undercard. (I had thought it'd be an interesting wrinkle if Julia was off in Japan for the 5 Star Grand Prix, but they left room in the schedule for her to be on this show.) I guess Maya World and Hyan can provide backup. One way or another, though, I think this is Willow's moment. Besides, Thekla pretty much has to drop the AEW title before she can receive comeuppance from half the STARDOM locker room.

Kyle Fletcher vs. Bandido

Fletcher is defending the AEW international title. Bandido is the ROH men's world champion, but his title isn't at stake. Apparently it's less important to be the ROH champion of the world than the AEW champion of the, uh, inter-nation. Kyle is at the heart of a lot of drama within the Don Callis Family, so he has declared that the rest of the faction will be banned from ringside, to prove he can defend the title on his own.

Bandido was one of my favorite guys to watch in 2025. Aside from killer matches, it felt like he had a direction, whether it was carrying the ROH men's division or disrupting the AEW tag scene with Brody King. In 2026, though, he's been an afterthought. The matches are still great but he's not beating anybody that matters anymore. Winning the international title could turn that around, although that seems ass-backwards when he already has what is notionally a major championship.

Fletcher has been having a better year, because even when he's losing you have a good idea where he's headed, what with the drama between him and Konosuke Takeshita, Kazuchika Okada, and Kevin Knight. If he wins this match he's in good shape with clear directions; if he loses this match he'll have plenty of routes back into contention for other titles. So I'd be fine with Fletcher winning, but for Bandido's sake I really have to root for a title change.

Adam Copeland & Christian Cage vs. PAC & Claudio Castagnoli

Cope and Cage are the defending AEW men's tag team champions. They had been feuding with David Finlay and Clark Connors, who are chummy with the Death Riders, so somewhere along the way they pivoted to feuding with the Death Riders. I don't know if there's a reason they singled out these two Death Riders, but it probably doesn't matter much.

I wasn't feeling this one until they did a backstage attack last week. Standard Death Riders stuff, good guys are dead, bad guys giving a supervillain monologue. But Cope never met a situation where he won't make it weird with improv, and he struggled to reach up and grab Pac, so Pac had to think on the fly and fight back a bit, which changed things up enough to get me interested. So I dunno, maybe this will be interesting. But I doubt it'll matter in the long run. The destination is clearly Cope & Cage vs. the Young Bucks for the tag title at All In, so the champs have to retain.

Will Ospreay & Jon Moxley vs. Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson

I would swear I've watched every AEW show for the past couple of months and I somehow totally missed how this match came together. A year ago Ospreay and Swerve Strickland formed a random tag team to fight the Young Bucks (Matt and Nick) because they were too chummy with the Death Riders. Now the Bucks are babyfaces, and I guess they don't approve of Ospreay getting chummy with the Death Riders.

By now Ospreay is so deep into his "strange bedfellows" association with the Death Riders that he is mildly offended the other good guys aren't nice to Moxley. Normally I'd consider this a plot hole, because it only makes sense if the main character is a complete idiot. But since it's Will Ospreay, it is perfectly in character that he is too dense to figure out that the guy who broke his neck last year is not really his friend. Anyway, the drama is about when he's going to wise up, and that can't happen until at least August 30, so this match is about making you believe he may never wise up.

The finish should be interesting. Ospreay should be protected heading into his world title match next month. The Bucks have been protected for months ahead of their showdown with Copeland and Cage. Mox has been heavily protected for years, whether he's heading into a major program or not. AEW rarely resorts to a count-out or disqualification to get out of these situations, so I'm genuinely unsure how this one turns out. I guess I'll pick Ospreay and Moxley to win.

Hikaru Shida vs. Maya World

Shida is defending the AEW TBS title. World is coming off of a career-defining run in the Owen Hart tournament, but she didn't win the tournament, and AEW hasn't done much (so far) to present her as recovering from that loss. There's a lot of goodwill for Maya right now, so this is one of those matches where people insist the challenger is white-hot and they need to call an audible and do the title change. My preference, though, would be to play the long game and build Maya up to headlining the ROH pay-per-view on August 21. In light of that, I think Shida should retain.

Mark Davis vs. Andrade El Idolo

This is for Davis's AEW national title. Andrade turned on the Don Callis Family last month, so he's doing the bit where he's running through everybody in the faction, and Davis is the first one to give him any real trouble.

Now, I like Davis, and I think giving him the national belt was a pretty substantial push for him. But realistically, he's still little more than a lower midcard guy, and the national title has ended up feeling like an award for the best lower midcard guy. Andrade is so over nowadays that it's almost beneath him to feud with Davis and chase this championship. So we pretty much have to do a title change here. Hopefully Davis can revive his tag team with Jake Doyle and sustain his momentum in the tag division.

Jay White & Juice Robinson vs. David Finlay & Clark Connors

This is billed as a "double chain match," so I think that means each man will be chained at the wrist to one of his opponents. All I'm sure of is that Robinson really wants to beat Finlay and Connors with a chain.

The Bang Bang Gang and The Dogs have been feuding for months. Problem is, there are only three The Dogs, and between injuries and visa issues Gabe Kidd has been away for months. So making Finlay and Connors look like a real threat to a five-man group has been...challenging, let's say. Nevertheless, I was there for all the backstory between White, Robinson, and Finlay back in New Japan, so I am 100% on board for this feud. If Clark brings out Wheel-san I will be on board a million percent. That is better than a hunnert percent.

White just returned after a long absence so I think he really needs to win here, unless they've got some idea for an angle to add more Dogs to The Dogs.

Chris Jericho vs. Tommaso Ciampa

These two started feuding almost immediately after Jericho won the blowoff match in his feud with Ricochet two months ago. I thought they'd just do one match to settle it, but Ciampa won on July 8 and proceeded to menace Jericho with a power drill, so that didn't settle anything. This match is billed as "no holds barred," which is a silly way of saying "power drills are legal" but that's essentially what it means.

Jericho is making a big deal about doing this match as "THE PAINMAKER," which is basically just the uncontrollable brawler gimmick he used in New Japan. This has never meant anything to AEW fans, because they have correctly perceived that THE PAINMAKER is just Chris Jericho wearing a hat. I hope Ciampa has something fresh for this match because Jericho is stale as hell. I don't really care who wins, but I guess it'll be Jericho.

Mike Bailey vs. Jack Perry vs. The Beast Mortos vs. Komander vs. El Clon vs. Nick Wayne

This is a six-way ladder match to determine the next #1 contender for the AEW international title. I assume a contract or something will be hung above the ring, and the first man to pull it down wins. The whole thing feels kind of thrown together, especially since Tony Khan announced it by way of saying Mistico isn't cleared for the show. Was Mistico originally supposed to be in this? I don't know.

Mortos, Komander, and Clon have all spent months on the sidelines due to visa issues. Komander and Clone just recently got back into AEW action, so I guess their problems got worked out. It's tempting to assume Mortos is back too, except working in Canada doesn't mean he'll be allowed back into the US anytime soon. Wayne and Perry have been around but not doing a whole lot lately. Bailey doesn't have anything going on right now either, but since he's from the Montreal area he really ought to just win this thing. I'm not confident he will win, but he should.

Orange Cassidy & Kyle O'Reilly & Roderick Strong vs. Jay Lethal & Blake Christian & Lee Johnson