Welcome To Port Royal, Mr. Smith

I hope this email finds you, binds you, ties you to a pole and breaks your fingers to splinters, drags you to a hole until you wake up naked, clawing at the ceiling of your grave

This is what will happen when I die if I am good.

that's fucking it. bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark

using both fahrenheit and celsius to determine temperature is wild because you’ll be thinking in one measurement unit and someone will say some alarming number and then you calm down when you realize they meant they’re baking their recipe at 350° fahrenheit

however, nothing can stop the sheer terror of when it’s -40° outside because the other measurement system is no reassurance

Too Fucking Cold degrees out

For anyone wondering, it was in fact meant to be "sovereign on a sovereign" 🤦

a fun fact about me is that i will just make noises

Seeing a cardinal on a snow-covered pine tree is like you are exactly where you’re supposed to be little buddy keep it up