zorp the surveyor

the problem with personality tests and other similar quizzes is that they assume you know things about yourself. Which is simply not true

I don’t care about leaving a legacy I want to be laid to rest quietly and let plants grow in the soil where my body lies so my energy is returned to the earth

"you don't owe anyone anything" You are a tar pit. Speak for yourself. I personally owe the cafe employees my dishes put away and my friends a listening ear and small scared insects a cup and a gentle trip outside. Hyperindividualism is a rancid infection borne of capitalism and willfully misinterpreted therapyspeak and I will defy it by continuing to be kind regardless of whether or not it benefits me personally

hey man everyone loved how convenient and easily forgettable you were on earth. u were the least inconvenient person out there. my buddy told me you were super helpful and nice and didn't take up any space and just slid away from their mind as soon as they stopped looking at you. it was really impressive how little of an impression you made on anyone. sucks that it didn't save you man.

i go to bars and coffee shops and breweries and libraries and thrift stores all the time by myself and i have a chill banger time i love my own company. so why is the grocery store a warzone. im fighting for my life. barely make it out alive. if someone even looks at me i want to blow them up with my mind

Honestly, sometimes you need to do manic pixie dream girl shit as a fully 29-year-old man and it's literally okay. I still buy those little perforated Valentines they make for kids to give to each other at school and keep them in my pocket to hand out to cashiers and strangers the first two weeks of February, and it does not matter at all if people think I'm annoying for doing it because I could easily kill myself instead. Take it easy, keep it sleazy.

It's time, bitch. Nobody's safe.