Work Talks

Elizabeth: Something about my chair is fucking up my back. I keep getting weird jabby pains down my leg. Feels like when you hit your funnybone. Me: Welcome to my life Elizabeth: So I know it's something to do with my sciatic nerve. Me: it's your sciatica Elizabeth: Heh. Yeah. Me: hahaha, brain twiiiiiins Elizabeth: Yay! Elizabeth: Someone needs to buy both of us a coke. Elizabeth: One of my chiropractors showed me in a diagram once. I'm pretty sure it's the pressure of all my fat pinching my nerves. ;-) Elizabeth McNabb: He didn't SAY it, but... Me: hahahaha Elizabeth: There's a fine line between enough fat to cushion, and enough fat to smother. Elizabeth: LOL Me: I'M SORRY I LIKE EATING OKAY Me: *weeps into a doughnut* Elizabeth: Hahahaa... I had an awesome visual of my poor little sciatic nerve waving its little arms frantically as it slowly suffocates. Me: hahahah Elizabeth: Hahahahahah... tears make doughnuts even better. Me: Absolutely, it's that sweet/salty combo.

Elizabeth: DID YOU HEAR what she just said? Me: No, what?! Elizabeth: She has to come in early tomorrow for the board meeting, and so Josh said something about seeing her early in the morning and she said, "Oh yes, bushy eyed, but not bright... eyed." Elizabeth: She knew it wasn't quite right, but I don't think she realized "bushy eyed" is not a thing. Me: HAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Me: I could still taste that wine when I woke up this morning Jon: hehe... it was pretty potent stuff Me: that was brutal, man just brutal I woke up and was like "eugh, toilet breath" Jon: yup. that wine was full of piss and vinegar Me: mostly the former Now I'm picturing your brother opening it to seduce some girl with Jon: oh true! I should warn him Me: Don't Jon: lol Me: it'll be funnier Jon: that's so evil... and hilarious Me: :D Just be like "This vintage is really unique. Save it for someone pretentious."

http://www.cholafied.com

Elizabeth: Have we spoken to Shamus about his facial hair issues this week? Me: Oh yes Me: that was the first thing I addressed when I saw him yesterday Elizabeth: Oh good. Me: Apparently he trimmed it so he would be less itchy in his goalie mask Me: i think his face looks like a shaved vagina Elizabeth: HAHAHAHAHAHAH Me: I neglected to share that with him, but I think my distress was evident

Elizabeth: She's so annoying that I would almost rather be home puking again today. Me: hahahahahahahahahahaah Elizabeth: Except my puking muscles are so fucking sore today. Me: okay that's less funny Elizabeth: Nah, it's still funny. Every time I laugh, I end up doing this weird laugh/bark hybrid because it hurts. ;-) Me: http://www.critterzone.com/animal-pictures-nature/stock-photos/Galapagos-fur-seal-barking-mouth-open-JFMA061310-16.jpg ? Elizabeth: Hahahahaha... yes. Elizabeth: I also contort myself like that to try to alleviate the pain. Me: Does it help? Me: I bet Mike's into it Elizabeth: LOL. Probably. I'll find out later tonight. :-) Me: Hahaha, don't lie Elizabeth: Well, if he was turned on enough my by illness yesterday to make a move at bedtime, I'm pretty sure he'll enjoy today's progression to barking seal. ;-)

  Elizabeth: Hahahahaha... fuck. "With my vagina" made me choke on my drink.

Me: Steampunk Shamus

Me: I'm sticking by taxidermy

Me: God damn, look at what a good haul you got from ON Roetard: :D always gir i have an annual budget of $500ish and that lets me order a big box from them every quarter and buy shoooes i figure i do okay for that Me: No kidding Roetard: some peeps spend that on like one sock Me: hahahaha Roetard: fancy lambskin socks or wait nm lol Me: hahahahahaha kid socks studded with swarovski crystals Roetard: bougie socks! and each crystal is infused with a time-release scent of tom ford's chest hair Me: hahahahahahahahaha Fuck you for Tom Ford's chest hair Roetard: i'd sniff it ok :P Me: me too, gurl

Me: Omg I just scrolled up to copypasta the bougie chip discussion to Eliz, and I realized I totally missed out on SOFT LINEN!?!?!?! I'm seriously rolling here you suck so much Roetard: hahaha <3 they'd be so gross but soft like a potato dryer sheet Me: and they would smell AMAZING.

Elizabeth: What an idiot. Elizabeth: Girl, I am just going to print out that facepalm pic and use an elastic to strap it to my actual face. Me: hahahahahahahahahahahaahah

Vincent: why does the guy smell like pizza Me: Because he's delivering pizza, you knob Vincent: he looks so dirty Me: haha, I know right, he looks like The Penguin Me: he's the pizza penguin Vincent: which company is it Me: Pizza Factory, I think Vincent: every pizza joint thats no named pizza hut fresh slice lil ceasars and dominos is named pizza factory Vincent: do i really want to eat a pizza from a factory Vincent: come on ppl Vincent: that's my comedy bit Me: hahahahaha

Me: Just thinking about this week Me: and its bullshit Elizabeth: Um. It is Tuesday, right? Me: yes Elizabeth: Remind me what's happened this week? Elizabeth: Other than phone crap. Me: Oh, it's what's happenING this week Elizabeth: Ooooh... Me: the policy thing Elizabeth: Oh fuck. Elizabeth: Yes. Me: Every time I sit down to start it I think "why the fuck does this apply to my job? It's completely unnecessary. Doing this is retarded. Where do I even begin?" and then I get mad Me: I ranted at Becky for like, 20 mins yesterday Elizabeth: I know! So so so true. Elizabeth: That was what working for Kelly was like ALL THE DAMN TIME. Elizabeth: And then you get so mad you want to break shit. Elizabeth: I swear it's a form of torture. Elizabeth: Psychological torture. Me: It must be Elizabeth: Man, I wish I had the template I made up for Ross when we worked together. Elizabeth: It was just some random form Kelly wanted, so he did it up in Word and sent it to a couple of us to get feedback. Elizabeth: I re-formatted the whole thing into coloured text with flashing letters and dancing clip art and fireworks and sent it back to him with a note that said, "Made a few minor design changes." Elizabeth: And he just about died. Me: hahahahahahaha Me: of course Elizabeth: I should have saved that for you to use. Me: No kidding Elizabeth: "Here you go, Kelly. I think you'll find this more than satisfactory." Me: Hahahaha Me: And then watch her head implode Elizabeth: Indeed. Now *that* would be satisfactory.

Me: Stupid employee survey Me: Your input matters except it doesn't Me: u mad bro Elizabeth: Hahahahhaa... I wonder if there's a section where you can upload pictures to help express the things we have difficulty saying. Me: hahaha Me: it'll be this Me: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/000/578/1234931504682.jpg Me: plus this Me: http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/epic-jackie-chan-template.png Elizabeth: Hahahahaha... Me: and a bit of this Me: http://cdn-images.hollywood.com/cms/300x375/7236163.jpg

Elizabeth: That deserves a SMDH. An acronym that until now, I have always thought completely unnecessary. Me: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH WOW Elizabeth: You like that, eh? Me: That email Me: I just Me: wow Elizabeth: She's so fucking annoying. I can't STAND it. Me: What's SMDH? Suck my dick, ho? Elizabeth: Shaking my damn head. Me: Oh Me: Mine's better Elizabeth: But I like yours better. Me: hahaha yay Elizabeth: Maybe not as mom-appropriate, but... Me: It has a sort of rapper's sensibility about it Me: It's my tribute to Left Eye