Yeah? Well, I'm a lizard person

we are so lucky the lord of the rings 2001-2003 film trilogy was clearly worked on with so much genuine collective passion from its team and cast close to two decades ago instead of now… something was fatedly perfect about how it all came together…. can you imagine how awful it’d have been if it was being made in the late stage capitalism of 2019. It’d have been like the latest star wars movies

the lord of the rings if it was filmed in 2019: dragged out to 9 films, no homoerotic subtext between any men except two background characters with names given in the credits, eowyn’s story is completely cut out apart from her crush on aragorn, frodo has abs, gandalf is played by tom hanks, the ents have disturbing cgi animation reminiscent of dumbo, wormtongue is given a redemption arc as a fan favourite, gollum is somehow offensively caricatured in a woke-packaged way, aragorn’s chivalry and desire for peace is changed to heroic battle lust and rudeness, legolas makes no fun expressions and instead looks blank in the background all the time,

I feel like I’m having a stroke