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This big city is ruthless. Countless men gather at this club every weekend hoping to meet someone good to have a loving relationship with. Itβs a facade. That stuff only happens in the movies. Becoming an adult changed nothing. All I can do in this ruthless world is get hammered like thereβs no tomorrow, and rate the guys here while I waste away my youth.
Nam Yoon Su as Go Young in Love in the Big City (2024)
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dazed and confused (1993) / clueless (1995) / 10 things i hate about you (1999) / the virgin suicides (1999) / bring it on (2000) / the princess diaries (2001) / freaky friday (2003) / mean girls (2004) / juno (2007) / jenniferβs body (2009)
Seth was on his way back to the stairwell from the upstairs bathroom when he spotted familiar blonde curls through a doorway. He detoured immediately, pushing the door open the rest of the way with a clumsy shove. Allison was stretched out in bed fully dressed, heels still on. Eyes closed, a regular Sleeping Beauty. A frat boy was already half in bed with her, one hand on the pillow by her head and the other pushing her shirt up her stomach toward her bra. Another was at the foot of the bed with his phone out and camera on. When he saw whoβd walked in on them, he snapped it shut with a tired, βAh, shit.β
His friend didnβt realize he was already dead and sent Seth an impatient look. βHey man, wait your turn.β
Seth could barely see straight, but in no universe could he not take a swing. He lurched forward, trusting the bed to stop him before he fell over, and caught hold of the guyβs frat jacket to start wailing on him. Three hits were enough he could throw the man off the far side of the bed and more than enough to lose his balance. He sat heavily on the mattress, swearing as he waited for the world to stop spinning, and glared at the three men bobbing and blurring together at the foot of the bed.
βSorry, man,β the guy said, three mouths but one voice. βDidnβt know she was yours.β
She wasnβt; she never would be. But Seth refused to say that. Instead he gave Allison a rough shake. He thought she moaned, but it was more likely the man who couldnβt figure out how to get off the floor again. Allison was warm to the touch but limp and unresponsive. Seth held his hand up by his face, watching and waiting for his fingers to settle down into five digits. As soon as his vision was sorted, he got up and stormed out of the room.
He almost missed the railing when he grabbed at it. For a second he thought he had; he saw the stairs swim up toward him before he overcorrected and bounced back up. He could only see the outer edge of the party from the second-floor landing, but he yelled βReggie!β down there anyway. A couple was trying to squeeze past him to find an empty room, but Seth grabbed the guyβs elbow and demanded, βWhere is Reggie?β
βDonβt know a Reggie,β he said, pulling out of Sethβs grip and shouldering past.
Seth put his hand on the wall and stumbled down the stairs with a graceless speed that left him tasting the shots heβd been throwing back all night. He pushed his way in circles around the lower level, from the hallway to the kitchen and through the back doorway into the living room. He found Damien on the couch with a bottle of gin in one hand and a roach in the other.
βWhere is Reggie?β
βClaudia,β Damien said with a jerkoff gesture. βLeft uhhβ¦β He trailed off to think, but his grasp on time wasnβt good enough to figure it out. Eventually he gave up with a shrug. βHeβll be back sooner or later.β
βAllisonβs fucked up,β Seth said.
βWho isnβt? Itβs a party.β Damien held out the roach in offering.
Seth left him there and went back upstairs. Up was much harder than down, as he kept almost tilting backwards. He had to haul himself up the last few steps with both hands on the railing. When he stumbled back into the room where Allison was not-resting, there was a new man waiting for him in the same frat lettering as the guy heβd knocked out. He punched Seth on his way through the doorway and started hollering some dumb shit about frat rules. Seth let it go in one ear and out the other, taking just a moment to register the taste of blood between his teeth.
A second later he launched at the man. Something everyone always forgot about the ragtag Exy team taking up space on campus: they were used to hitting and being hit hard enough to hurt through armor. Seth could take a punch better than anyone in this house and he knew how to swing twice as hard. He beat the man until he was snotty and crying on the floor, then sat down beside Allison again and pulled his phone out of his pocket. His fingers ached so badly he wasnβt sure he could handle the buttons, and his vision was crackling black as nausea threatened to get the best of him.
βWymack,β a voice said at his ear.
Seth hadnβt realized heβd managed to dial out. βI canβt wake her up,β he said. He kicked at the fallen frat boy until he rolled away and Seth could see the lettering on his jacket. He read it off to Wymack, who answered with just a brisk ETA before hanging up on him.
There was no way any of them would get invited back to a frat house once he called a coach to their doorstep, but Seth would deal with his teammatesβ outrage later.
He knew Wymack arrived by the way the music abruptly cut out downstairs and by the nervous rumble of conversations as students gave ground with mumbled excuses. Seth checked his bloodied knuckles as he listened to footsteps on the stairs. He could have called out, but his stomach was all liquid and he didnβt trust it not to spill over.
There werenβt a lot of rooms with open doors up here, so it only took Wymack a few moments to find them. He held out a hand to help haul Seth to his feet, then moved past him to check on Allison. Seth watched him check her breathing and her pulse and wondered why it hadnβt occurred to him to do the same.
βWeβre leaving,β Wymack said, more to Allison than to Seth. He hooked one arm behind her shoulders and another behind her knees, and he hoisted her ragdoll body off the bed like she weighed nothing. He carried her out of there and took the stairs down as carefully as he could. Seth hadnβt been invited to come along, but he followed after them anyway. Better to go with them and face Wymackβs judgment than have to fight everyone in here as soon as Wymack was out of sight.
βDoorβs unlocked,β Wymack said when they reached his car.
Seth got the back door, and Wymack put Allison down across the backseat. Seth went around to the other side so he could help pull from the other end. He had to wrap her long hair up and tuck it against her throat; sheβd kill him if he closed the back door on any of it. With her safe, he was free to take the passenger seat, and Wymack got them moving.
Getting in the car was the worst idea Seth had had all night, and Wymack had to pull over twice so Seth could throw up into the gutter. He didnβt realize theyβd stopped for good until Wymack got out of the car. Seth stared out the windshield, blinking as hard as he could until the lettering for Reddin Medical Center came into view. Abby was on the curb under the streetlight, pajama pants poking out beneath her coat.
Wymack got the back door open and began the process of getting Allison out. Seth started to reach for his buckle, but Wymack said, βWait here,β and Seth was tired enough to listen.
Wymack kicked the back door shut as soon as he had Allison clear of it, and Abby swiped her keycard to get them access to the building. She had to disarm the code before she could get the door for Wymack, and she rushed him out of sight. Seth considered going after them anyway, then put the chair back as far as it could go and fell asleep.
A careful hand on his shoulder woke him up some time later, and Seth pushed himself up to see Reddin was gone. He looked in the backseat, found it empty, and turned a bleary look on Wymack.
βWeβre at Fox Tower,β Wymack said. βCan you make it inside?β
βWhere is she?β Seth asked.
βAbbyβs staying with her until the morning,β Wymack said. βDrink some water and get some rest, but know weβre going to talk about this when youβre sober enough to retain anything I have to say to you. Donβt start,β he said when Seth scowled at him. βCan you get inside, or do I need to come in with you?β
βI got it,β Seth said, fumbling with his buckle. He half-fell out of the car but managed to catch the door before his knees hit asphalt. He checked his pockets, looking for his wallet, and showed it to Wymack in a moment of triumph. βSee?β
βSeth,β Wymack said as Seth started to close the door. Seth leaned over to peer across the front seat at him. Wymackβs expression was serious, but not angry, and all he said was, βThank you for calling me tonight.β
Seth looked away. βSheβs going to be all right,β he said. He refused to word it like a question. Allison would always be all right in the end. He was the one falling apart every time he looked at her. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He shouldnβt have started looking in the first place. She was goddamned royalty and he was justβ
βSheβs going to be all right,β Wymack agreed.
Seth closed the car door and staggered to the rear door of Fox Tower. It took five tries to get the sensor to read his card, since he couldnβt hold his hand still long enough to trigger it. The elevator ride was so terrible he had to squat in the car for several minutes after it reached his floor. When he thought he could risk it, he headed for his room, where he nearly broke his key getting in. The others were all gone still, so Seth shuffled over to the couch, managed to kick out of one shoe, and passed out face down.
..
Fox Tower was so hostile the next day Seth had to take his hangover out into the fresh air and too-bright sun. It was exactly the wretched mistake he expected it to be. He crouched on the sidewalk and scrunched back into what little shade the building cast at this time of day. He scratched angry lines through his stubble and hated everything about the world. He was starting an alphabetical list of the most annoying things he could think of for lack of anything better to do when a familiar car turned into the parking lot.
There was no reason to get his hopes up, but Seth folded his arms across his knees and watched until the car came to a stop at the curb. Allison got out alone and waved Abby off through the passenger window. It was another minute before the nurse pulled away, as if she wasnβt quite sure she wanted to leave yet, but Allison stood still and watched her until she finally put the car back into drive. Seth took advantage of her distraction to study the willowy freshman. Her hair had obviously been washed and redone, but she was wearing what sheβd had on last night. It was the first time heβd seen her in the same thing twice, outside of her Exy uniforms.
Only when Abbyβs car was out of sight did she turn toward Fox Tower. Seth expected her to head inside without a second look his way, the same way sheβd rebuffed him all semester. As much as it pissed him off to be dismissed right out of hand, he knew she was too good for him.
But Allison wasnβt heading for the door; she was coming over to stand in front of him. He held her gaze for only a moment before turning his attention on the parking lot. It wasnβt like he cared that she was okay, after all.
βAt least stand up when Iβm talking to you,β she said, a touch impatiently. βIβm not sitting on the ground in this skirt.β
βIβm comfortable,β he said.
She gave his thigh an ungentle kick. βI said get up.β
βAnnoying fucking woman,β Seth said, but he stood up to glower at her. βWhat do you want?β
The curl of her lip said she was rethinking this entire thing, but finally she gave a sharp jerk of her hand and said, βTo thank you, you witless tool. Donβt make me regret it before I can get it out.β It was enough to shut him up. Allison folded her arms across her chest and stared him down. At last her expression eased into something more troubled than annoyed and she said, βThank you. Abby told me what happened.β
If it was anyone else, Seth would have mocked them for needing rescuing. He felt the taunts biting at the back of his throat, but what came out was, βI thought you were dead. Andβgood riddance, obviously,β he added, more to save himself than to rile her up again. βBut Coach canβt afford another scandal, soββ
βShut up,β she said, reaching for him.
He did as he was told, too distracted by her touch to remember the rest of his tirade. She had one of his hands in both of hers as she studied his bruised and bloodied knuckles. The fists that had gotten him this far in life looked meaty and ugly in her long fingers. For a moment he wanted to apologize for the brute he was; for a moment he was so ashamed of all of his hard edges he wanted to yank free.
But then she skimmed her thumbs over his knuckles, and she sounded so soft when she said, βThank you for looking out for me.β
He could have said I shouldnβt have had to, or I wonβt do it again, or Donβt drink so much next time. Even in his head they sounded more like lies than truth. What he said instead was, βI want to. Wanted, I mean.β
She studied him with unabashed curiosity for another minute before finally letting go. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, a little too smug for his likes, and she said, βNo, I think you meant βwantβ.β She was undeterred by his fierce scowl, but since she wasnβt laughing him off he forced back every insult he could have thrown at her to reclaim the safe distance between them. The restraint paid off when Allison said, βYouβre taking me to dinner tonight.β
βI didnβt hear a question in there.β
βI didnβt hear a refusal,β Allison said. βPick me up at seven.β
She left without waiting for a response, and Seth could only stare after her. The door to Fox Tower swung closed behind her before his brain caught up with him again, and he gave a short fist pump of triumph.
Heβd fuck this up, he knew. If not today, then tomorrow, or the next. She was taking a chance on him now that he was a little interesting, but once she realized he was a waste of space sheβd move on to the next bright thing. Everyone left, sooner or later; that was just life. No one could stick around and stand him for long. But since Seth refused to be the first to bail, heβd hold on as tight as he could until she made him let go.
cancelling Shadow and Bone right before they were going to do the Ice Court Heist and with a WHOLE SEASON of Six of Crows fucking WRITTEN AND READY TO GO and scrapping that too is evil incarnate netflix you deserve to go out of business forever
The reason for everything that disappears⦠the god of everything that disappears. It would be sad to fall in love with something that disappears upon his touch. Sad enough to make him never love again.
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i hope the anonymous person who sent the "i used to live in your house. i'm drunk in boston and it's the only address i know. happy holidays" postcard is aware that they wrote my favourite poem
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