~Wonder~

A Girl and Her Vape

She was sleepy as she crawled out of bed her head felt like a spindle run out of thread. She searched for her vape to begin the morning ceremonies. It was close by, under her pillow, always handy to fuel the cycle of addiction she found herself in, one of many. The device was not easy to come by at her age and her head throbbed as it had come down from the nicotine during the night but is now quickly replaced with the elation found within a breath of thick clouds of vapor. She was not alone in her addiction her mind always finding an escape from her reality yet, as of late, she felt the sensation diminish opening up to a greater emptiness.

It was a quiet morning her things from the night before in a pile by her small bed. She had spent most of the night in a haze surrounded by laughter from her friends and loud music in large crowds. She envisioned her addiction as the circle of life, death and rebirth coming hand in hand as she pulled in another cloud of vaporized liquid. Licking herself of the juice left over on her lips she loved the sinking sensation and light headedness that came from the sudden sharp spike in the nicotine levels of her body. She felt this was manageable as it is legal for most people after all.

She could not understand how she’d gotten to this point of habitual use from her first cigarette in a parking lot. A cigarette so acrid and pungent, choking the air out of her lungs. In that nausea, she thought she’d never smoke again. The vape was much more her speed, the fragrant meta moon menthol soda blend pulling sweetly in her mouth. She felt no remorse for her addiction. The smoke caught the light revealing each beam entering from the window.

You have me light as a feather.

Knowing the scales will tip in my favor.

And there’ll be better weather where we’re together.

Your greens give me strength and courage while your reds and yellows give me warmth. Your blues are so cool I feel refreshed and your purple reminds me of what’s important to me. I love all your colors from the orange that makes me ponder to the pink that makes me sparkle.

I have learned to love you in many ways throughout our time together. I have come to know so much of you that I now hold dear in my heart. You are what I hold in me, to keep safe and cherish throughout my time alive.

I am grateful for all the moments the years we have been together have brought and I look forward to many more. When I first met you your face was alive with a cheer I can never forget, a brilliance that delivered me from darkened days and I thank you for that. Which is why I do not ask more from you than for you to always be yourself. The beautiful person that always shines bright in this life.

I dare not ask more because it is all that I need in order to know that my life is worth living. There is the truth I hold dearest, that knowing you has given me a life worth living even if behind the eyes of a cruelest fate I am grateful to you for your being.

There aren’t many things I can promise you beyond my loyalty but I do swear so long as I am alive you will never have to be alone. There will be no reason for you to have to go through this life alone, I will always be by your side.

If the universe is known to follow the laws of quantum mechanics such as the idea that Reality is probability observed; that fundamentally things in reality behave as a wave function before collapsing into what is most likely to be observed, then I wonder what could be said about the things that occur inside the brain and therefore the mind. After all it seems the brain hasn't successfully managed to observe itself. What level of observation is enough? Is a single neuron worthy enough to collapse this wave function? Am I? Can I regain control as this observer that longs to see the light and know of this darkness no more?

With arms crossed and feet pointed I jump straight off the cliff.

Then into the blue waters, and I fell straight down.

Straight down to the bottom of the sea.

Down through the earth.

On the other side, straight through the sky then stars.

We live in globalized evil. The world is their breeding and feeding ground. using forces once used by the side of good to alchemize a soulless world into a sacred one. This was achieved by treating everyone as sacred, until the sacred in them rememberered and prevailed against evil. This divine machinery is now used to control each human life under suffering, fear and hatred. A cycle once used to nurture and grow humanity now lost.

What was once a safe haven for the growth and development of humanity to realize its true potential is now a labyrinthian dungeon with no escape. Reality itself, the cycle a human life lives in each individual life, is compromised. and so we acknowledge bitterly that our god is dead. As its children we must now survive this world.