wolfstargazer

Quiet. Full of love and sadness. Slowest of slow burns. Lingering glances. Misunderstandings. Missed opportunities. Sexual tension. Era-accurate. Canon considerate. Friendship. Romance. Angst. Drama. Bittersweet. Nostalgia. Flashbacks. Dreams. Some OCs. Teen Marauders. Adult Wolfstar. First Wizarding War focus. Mostly T & M rating. A safe, still place full of tenderness.

Master list

Without You, I'm Nothing (14/? | 40,877 | Ongoing) Remus returns from a trip to Hogwarts feeling desolate and confused. In trying to deal with his grief over Sirius' death Remus is forced to confront the feelings he tried, for so long, to ignore. As his mind drifts back to the years from the past he tries to make sense of the love and the bitterness of the years that have passed. OR Remus Lupin remembers the Marauders Fifth Year at Hogwarts, full of unresolved sexual tension, longing, and coming-of-age angst filtered through the lens of grief. A re-edited, re-post of a classic 2007 Wofstar, Marauder-era fic.

Wolfstargazer Microfics (40/? | 12,694 | Ongoing) Wolfstar-centric microfics created in response to Wolfstar Microfic and other prompts on Tumblr.

River (1/1 | 5,909 words | Complete) It's coming on Christmas. They're cutting down trees. Remus Lupin is preparing for a quiet Christmas at home. But Hope has an idea for a Christmas adventure to London - all in the name of making Sirius smile. OR A cosy, Christmas, sort-of-coffee-shop fic full of tenderness and longing and two boys who don't know much about how they feel about each other yet, but know enough to recognise that Christmas is not the same when spent apart.

Say Hello Wave Goodbye (1/1 | 5,923 words | Complete) A night out in Soho in October 1981. All rain, and smoke, and drink, and sticky floors, and dim red lights, and two men who have nowhere else to hide their desire now their friendship has fallen apart. OR A dual perspective Wolfstar one-shot full of sexual tension, angst and betrayal on the very last night the Maurauders are all together before the terrible events at Godric's Hollow.

Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered (1/1 | 2,584 words | Complete | Remus Lupin Fest 2024) It is the Marauders final year at Hogwarts and the Graduation Ball is fast approaching. But Remus doesn't know how to dance. Luckily, he has just the friend to show him.

Patient Potions Master (15/15 | 28,915 words | Complete) It is the beginning of another week during Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts and tempers are once again tested during Double Potions. How will Harry cope with a week's worth of detentions? And will what is revealed during these detentions help him to accept Sirius' death?

More about me below the cut

Unfinished Sympathy by Clare_Mansfield

Arden Flynn, Junior Editor at the publishing house of Theobald and Randall, fragile after a recent break up and with something to prove, volunteers to fire the freelance copy editor that keeps missing his deadlines.

Remus Lupin - lycanthrope, lonely and lost - finds himself sitting through yet another conversation where he's about to be let go.

But Arden finds them thrown together by an unexpected accident.

And Remus finds a little solace in confiding some of the secrets from his past.

OR

A comforting, gentle fic set in the Spring of 1992. Tender, lonely Remus cares and finds connection with a Muggle he just met, although he still can't keep the ghosts of his past at bay.

Chapter - 3/3 Fandom - Harry Potter Rating - T Relationships - Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin & Arthur Weasley, Remus Lupin & Original Female Character Character tags - Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Arthur Weasley, Original Muggle Character, Original Female Character Additional tags - Post-Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Developing Friendships, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Grief/Morning, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Dreams, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Moony's Midlife Crisis Fest 2025 (+ other tags on ao3)

I read, against my will, that JKR was now attacking the ace community.

To my ace followers and readers. I see you. I am with you. I stand with you. I am one of you.

And so is my Remus.

This is for you.

Love at first sight was the stuff of myth, although Remus had read enough to know that it was a myth that endured.

It wasn't confined to the pages of the novels he devoured. It was there in the black and white matinee films his mum so dearly loved. The sophisticated, worldly men and breathless, beautifully-lit women seemed to know all about it. Their eyes would meet across a crowded room, and the rest of the party would disappear in a swirl of soft focus and swelling score.

It was in the music that he listened to, sprawled out on the rug in his bedroom at home, watching the shadows the rain cast from the skylight above.

The twang of the guitar, the soft keys of the piano, the moody voice of Roberta Flack expressing a fullness of emotion that Remus desperately wanted to experience one day.

But perhaps some part of him was broken? A consequence of the lycanpthropy, perhaps, or fear?

Whatever it was he couldn't help but feel empty, always reaching for a fullness of emotion he feared he'd never feel.

The first time ever I saw your face....

Where were the songs about the love of a thousand glances? The incremental, gentle, unfurling of a feeling, that was both fierce and tender? Where were the poems about everyday gestures, that one day add up to so much more than the sum of their parts? Where were the films that were slower than slow burn, where love comes as naturally and instinctively as breathing...until the time comes to hold your breath and finally take that jump...

...into the unknown of uncertainty...

...into the depths of what might be...

...scared of risking all that they had for the hope they could be more....

In a way, it was the thing that came hardest to him. Even though he was certain that from outward appearances, he appeared to be nothing but himself.

Head-strong.

Whip-smart.

Quick-tempered.

Big-hearted.

But a liar.

Not in the everyday way of other people. He couldn't stand the dishonesty of others. The disingenuous making and breaking of relationships that seemed to be so common among friends. When he gave his friendship it was completely, utterly, and although the way he loved was probably deeply flawed, it was the only way he knew.

But he was a liar.

The truth he knew, hidden deep within himself, would find a way to make itself known one day. He was certain of it. But for now he couldn't face it and instead he affected a charming, dismissive, disarming smile that seemed to say, "I see you looking just like all the others. But it doesn't reach me."

And every time Remus smiled shyly, sadly and turned away, Sirius felt the truth threatening to burst out but the words wouldn't come.

One day would be the day for truth.

Without you, I'm nothing by Clare Mansfield

Chapter 14 - January, 1976

Remus returns from a trip to Hogwarts feeling desolate and confused. In trying to deal with his grief over Sirius' death Remus is forced to confront the feelings he tried, for so long, to ignore. As his mind drifts back to the years from the past he tries to make sense of the love and the bitterness of the years that have passed.

OR

Remus Lupin remembers the Marauders Fifth Year at Hogwarts, full of unresolved sexual tension, longing, and coming-of-age angst filtered through the lens of grief.

Without you, I'm nothing by Clare Mansfield

Chapter 13 - December, 1975

Remus returns from a trip to Hogwarts feeling desolate and confused. In trying to deal with his grief over Sirius' death Remus is forced to confront the feelings he tried, for so long, to ignore. As his mind drifts back to the years from the past he tries to make sense of the love and the bitterness of the years that have passed.

OR

Remus Lupin remembers the Marauders Fifth Year at Hogwarts, full of unresolved sexual tension, longing, and coming-of-age angst filtered through the lens of grief.

My "Sirius" - the person from who I draw real-life inspiration to inform the emotional undercurrent of much of my writing - has this morning messaged me completely out of the blue on a defunct social media profile that I have not used for many years.

We have been out of contact for over ten years.

The last conversation I had with them I confessed I had been in love with them for a long time and that I couldn't deal with the toxic push and pull that had existed between us since we met when we were 16.

I have not spoken to them since...

Their message reads "I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I miss you. I'm hoping we can connect and be friends again."

The frosts were still hard, splintering ice across the window panes and turning breath to mist. Mornings were grey and uncertain, but by the afternoon sometimes the sun, pale and watery, would creep its way into the cloisters, bathing the faces of students who hurriedly swiftly between classes.

It was one such afternoon that Remus paused on his way to Herbology, unaware that his friends were leaving him swiftly behind, turned his face towards the sun, and closed his eyes.

"What are you doing?" James called, halting, grabbing Sirius by the sleeve of his robes and pointing in Remus' direction. "Just what is Moony doing?"

Sirius looked at his friend, unaware of the students that bustled past him, his face illuminated by the sun that hoped for Spring.

If he was honest with himself - and Sirius always tried to be as the best guard against the censure of others was a keen-eyed observation of his own shortcomings - he would have recognised the ache behind his rib cage for what it was.

The fierce need to be Remus' first.

And a gnawing jealousy at the idea that he wasn't.

It wasn't reasonable. Nor was it flattering. But it was there - a desperate, stricken feeling that made him tremble in a way he tried to hide behind the kisses he confidently trailed against Remus' jawline.

He wanted to ask:

"Have there been others?"

"Have they touched you?"

"Tell me what they did to you so I can go one better."

But the words were choked by his own desire. His hands faltered a little as they sought the familiar and unfamiliar contours of his friend's lean body.

He wanted this.

He feared this.

The air was sucked from his lungs.

Remus paused, breathless, and with characteristic restraint he whispered in the darkness, "We can stop. We don't have to. We can wait."

Merry Christmas from my heart to yours

"Mistletoe," Sirius said, halting in the doorway and gesturing to the bunch suspended with red ribbon from the kitchen doorway.

No doubt this was Molly's doing, Remus suspected. It seemed unlikely to be a festive touch from Kreacher.

"I'm sure the kids will have great fun with that," Remus said, moving to walk through the door. "I can't say I'd be surprised if Ron finally plucked up the courage to tell Hermione how he feels."

A hand on his wrist stopped him from going any further.

"Moony," Sirius said, his voice teasing.

"Padfoot," Remus replied, conscious that any one of the guests who were at Grimmauld Place for Christmas may happen upon them, but finding it difficult to ignore the flirtatious smile that was toying at Sirius' mouth.

Sirius moved closer, wound his arms around Remus' shoulders, his hands insistent at the back of his neck.

"What is the point of me going to all the trouble of hanging this if you're just going to ignore it?"

His grey eyes were dancing.

And Remus couldn't resist.

River by Clare Mansfield

It's coming on Christmas. They're cutting down trees. Remus Lupin is preparing for a quiet Christmas at home. But Hope has an idea for a Christmas adventure to London - all in the name of making Sirius smile.

OR

A cosy, Christmas, sort-of-coffee-shop fic full of tenderness and longing and two boys who don't know much about how they feel about each other yet, but know enough to recognise that Christmas is not the same when they're apart.

Chapter - 1/1

Fandom - Harry Potter

Rating - T

Relationships - Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Character tags - Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Hope Lupin, Kreacher

Additional tags - Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Closeted Character, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Canon Compliant, Coffee Shops, Christmas in London, Coming of Age, POV Remus Lupin, A Cosy Christmas Fic (+ other tags on a03)

Something a little cosy and comforting to read with a warm drink or alcoholic beverage of your choice.

From my heart to yours this Winter Solstice.

All my love,

Soft and gentle flakes fell carelessly from the sky, crusting every window and encasing all in white.

It was slippery on the path. Sirius knew it would be but did not take much care. He'd bet James that he could beat him to the Herbology Greenhouses. And Potter, the little sneak, had set off before Sirius had even finished speaking with a sharp laugh, his robes whipping behind him.

"Oh, no you don't!" Sirius had cursed under his breath and set off at great speed.

But he hadn't gone far before he felt his feet skid out from beneath him. He was conscious of the world spinning, and his books spilling from his hands, and prepared himself to have the wind knocked out of him as his arse hit the frozen ground.

What he was not prepared for, however, was two strong arms coming apparently from nowhere to catch him.

In a state of shock Sirius blinked up into the face of Remus whose face was all flushed and wrinkled with amusement.

His hazel eyes were flashing. There were snow flakes in his hair.

Sirius found his breath had left him even though he hadn't fallen. He struggled with the strongest temptation to reach out and dust the snow from Remus' hair.

"Careful," Remus said, all twinkle and warmth and with an air of mock chastisement that Sirius was convinced that Remus didn't know sounded so flirtatious.

Sirius noticed a flake of snow fall and catch on Remus' lashes.

His world felt upside down.