#wolfstargazer

...no matter how many times Remus asks.

Remus smells like fresh soap and second-hand books, of warm wool and, sometimes, a tang of something feral that he can never completely hide....

Hello! 🌻

This one is a wolfstar fic, and a soulmate AU, but they're not each other’s soulmates. Remus doesn’t have a soulmate at all because he's a werewolf, and Sirius is engaged to his soulmate, who is abusive. Remus and Sirius met in a writing class, and because Remus never heard from Sirius after the class was over, he thought that Sirius didn’t want to be friends after all. Until Sirius calls him one evening, asking to spend the night because it's not safe for him to be at home.

Here's a snippet:

“Does Ricky know you’re a wizard?” Remus asked.

“No…”

“Why?”

Remus had already had a feeling Sirius might be living as a Muggle, but he was still surprised to find out that even his soulmate didn’t know about him.

“Well, the Statute of Secrecy, for one,” Sirius said.

“But he’s your soulmate.”

“It doesn’t matter in the eyes of the law. And besides, I was going to tell him, but then I didn’t know how to bring it up, and I just never figured out how to tell him, and now it’s been so long that I might as well wait until we’re married.”

“You’re going to marry him?”

Remus hadn’t wanted for his disbelief to be so obvious in his voice, and Sirius’s little smile died.

“I just mean,” Remus hurried to say, “you’re still so young.”

“We’ve been together for four years, and engaged for one. So, it’s actually about time we got married.”

“Oh.”

The spirit was willing. But the body just wouldn't obey.

Remus lay, stared up at the ceiling, and tried to put the pieces of the night before back together in his mind.

Peter slips, losing his footing, and James laughs as he reaches out to catch his hand and pull him back to firmer ground.

Laughter from behind him. Grey eyes carefree as he lifts his head back and gives a sharp bark. The moon is a silver sickle in the sky.

"If we survive this, Padfoot, remind me to kill you in the morning!" James calls, his words snatched away by the wind.

"If we survive this, Prongs, it will go down in history as Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs' most daring adventure!" Sirius calls back.

"Not if we're not alive to tell it," Remus quips.

Sirius turns, eyes flashing, reaches out to grab Remus by the robes, and hauls him forwards onto the ledge of the tower.

Remus teeters precariously, feels the exhilarating rush of his potential plummet to the rocks below. Sirius places a steadying hand on Remus' shoulder, leans close, and whispers, "If this isn't living, what is?"

Remus lay and stared up at the ceiling, puzzling the pieces of his dream back together. But try as he may the fragments receed into the dawn, chased by the daylight that crept into the room, and the letter from Dumbledore still open on the bed beside him:

Hello everyone.

I've returned from my hiatus ready to settle in for a season of crisp fall days, dying light slanting through Gryffindor dormitory windows, wool jumpers in a slight need of repair, and the lingering smell of wood smoke and first frost on the air.

My "Sirius" - the person from who I draw real-life inspiration to inform the emotional undercurrent of much of my writing - has this morning messaged me completely out of the blue on a defunct social media profile that I have not used for many years.

We have been out of contact for over ten years.

The last conversation I had with them I confessed I had been in love with them for a long time and that I couldn't deal with the toxic push and pull that had existed between us since we met when we were 16.

I have not spoken to them since...

Their message reads "I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I miss you. I'm hoping we can connect and be friends again."

Hello everyone. Happy Pride Month! Here is my usual start of the month update.

Top microfic of May:

Mutual Pining - Sirius pines for Remus as the Marauders lounge on the shore of the Great Lake.

Here's what you can expect in June:

More short and sweet microfics, brought you by @wolfstarmicrofic prompts and others.

Headcanons and other Wolfstar wonderings.

Without You, I'm Nothing - my Hogwarts-era, Wolfstar long fic will start posting this week.

Hello everyone! A brief update to let you all know that due to the very imminent deadline for my thesis, I am currently on a temporary hiatus from creating all things wolfstar.

I will return in September with my usual brand of love and tenderness, musings, microfics and updates to "Without you, I'm Nothing."