Mistakes Iâve made over the years in my relationship with Lord Lucifer
I figured this might be helpful to some folks who are just beginning with him. One of my favourite things about Lord Lucifer is how incredibly patient and helpful he is to beginners. Making a mistake is not only normal but encouraged. He will not hold a grudge, but he will expect you to take accountability.
Needing too much confirmation
Especially in the beginning, itâs normal to wanna double check the responses you receive. However, constantly triple checking everything can also be a sign of a lack of trust and confidence. Itâs obviously okay to ask for clarification. But imagine how annoying it would be if every sentence you said to your friend was met with âare you sure? Is this right? Idk if I believe youâŚâ use your discretion, and if he tells you âyes, thats what I meant,â donât ask him the same question 10 more times. Itâs annoying.
Begging him to respond or appear
Iâve talked about this before but Lucifer really really despises begging especially from his own followers. Ask sincerely. But if your prayers or petitions to him sound like the ramblings of an obsessed ex, (âwhy didnât you call me back? We havenât seen each other in too long! Please come back I need you so much!â) heâs going to get very annoyed very fast. Lucifer is a character who has a million fan girls doting behind him constantly. Heâs only interested in cultivating real relationships with people who do not feel entitled to his presence, but rather earn it.
Not offering recognition or thanks after a blessing or gift
Lucifer has a pretty damn big ego and a lot of pride. He does get insulted if his favours arenât acknowledged, and even if worse if you deny his involvement, (âwas that really him? Nah, probably just a coincidence). Obviously this is a very human tendency, I did this a lot in the beginning. But if you do in fact get some sort of confirmation that it was him, definitely say thank you.
Not asking for consent before sharing details about your work and relationship together
Lucifer isnât really all that secretive when it comes to his working relationships. There is a high chance that he will be perfectly fine with you sharing whatever youâre sharing. But definitely ask first. There have been times where Iâve assumed something was fine to share only to be asked to delete it later. You may be given a general permitter. Iâm aloud to share a lot more on tumblr than on other platforms. Sometimes there will be certain topics that should stay private. Make sure youâre asking whatâs appropriate to be shared and what should stay private.
Not asking him questions directly
Just ask him. Before you go asking a bunch of strangers ask him. Donât know if he would like that? Ask. Donât know if he would be upset? Ask. Because sure, I and 100 other pagans online can give you answers, but weâre all just paraphrasing. Ask the source directly.
Harbouring resentment or accusation when things donât go your way
This is a big one. Sometimes you spend a long time on a spell and it just doesnât work. Sometimes your prayers arenât answered in the way you want, and that can be frustrating. Lucifer is always very gentle with me when Iâm being a brat, but operating with the belief that Lucifer is going to give you everything every single time is low-key kind of exploitative of him. He will certainly bestow his rewards, but sometimes things simply do not go your way. Getting mad at him, making accusations (âyou lied!â) or being unable to accept the reality of things will only prove that your respect is based on how much reward you think youâre getting, not a genuine appreciation and reverence towards him.
Your relationship will change. Roll with it. My work with Lucifer has gone many different places, do not get so hung up on routine, or recreating rituals beat for beat. As your relationship develops Lucifer will manifest in different ways. Donât be confused or heart broken if his appearance changes. Donât freak out if the work completely changes, if your title changes. Thereâs a large period at the beginning of Luciferianism where itâs a lot of just general information and studying. But after a while things do get more specific. Lucifer will start to expect you to evolve your craft, try new things. Find your niche. If suddenly Lucifer starts asking you to do increasingly difficult or uncomfortable things (uncomfortable, not harmful or coercive) thatâs not because he wants to mess with you. Youâre entering into the next stage. Hold on.
Getting way too hung up on names and archetypes
Lucifer goes by many names and has many many faces. I feel like every Luciferian reaches a point where theyâre so fucking confused about who is Lucifer, who is Eosphoros, who is Helel, and which one is really Lord Lucifer. The tldr is they all are. You can and probably will find comfort and stability with one of these main faces most of the time. For me, I usually deal with a Lucifer-Eosphoros blend. But at times, Attar or Hesperus will pop up. I could (and have) wrack my brain trying to figure out all of the little intricacies of what makes each face distinct and which Lucifer is the most Lucifer. But I could also just take him as he is and reveal more aspects to his energy that I otherwise would never have experienced. I love my Lucifer in all of his forms, whether he is the morning or evening star, a middle eastern deity, or the Roman god of light.
Related to the last one- being unable to handle his contradictions
Lucifer is the father, the lover, the possessor and care taker, the sinner, the defiler, the priest and the god. He is the Lord of Light and the Prince of Darkness. He is the morning and evening star. All of these things remain true at once and that CAN be dissociating. My brain had to consciously understand Lucifer the father and Lucifer the lover and not immediately collapse in on itself with that contradiction. Yes, Lucifer can both be your teacher and your lover. He can act as a sovereign God king and still be your therapist. He can be rough and dominant and then shower you with sweetness a moment later. He will break you open and then put you back together. None of these things make him any less Lucifer at any given time. Understanding why he is whatever he is at any given point in your relationship is very crucial.
Being super serious all the time
Yes, Lucifer is a God and guide, be respectful. But heâs not the Christian God, heâs not a tyrant. He does want to be your companion and have conversations. Time and place. Rituals might require more professional language, but you do not have to call him Lord every single time you address him. You are allowed to share jokes and talk about your day, he likes conversation.
Keep the altar pretty. Donât leave food offerings out for too long. Donât let wine mold. Clean his spaces regularly.
Getting too offended or self conscious
You have flaws. He will point them out. Not to make fun of you, but so you can change. Lucifer will never hold your mistakes against you, but he will make you aware of them. When Lucifer told me I was too mean to my boyfriend, I did get offended. Fuck off. Thatâs none of your business. But he was right, and had I not listened to him I might be single right now. Lucifer will never use your flaws as leverage. He will never shame you. So when he saying something like âhey, what youâre doing is selfish and cruelâ, donât be heartbroken because you think he thinks youâre a bad person. Just listen, and actually take it to heart. And then put in the effort to make things right.
This is minor one because he actually does enjoy being spoiled quite a bit. But he also really likes home made stuff. If you were planning on buying like, a little sticker with his sigil, just drawn it yourself. Make your own art of him, decorate your altar with stuff you found rather than just stuff you bought online. Again, this isnât that big of a point because Lucifer appreciates gifts regardless. Just try not to fall into the consumerism of it all.
Being too afraid to challenge him
Challenge him. He wants you to. He wants you to be audacious. There is a line of respect, but there is also a line of transformation, and Lucifer prefers the former. Small transgressions, small resistances, are a gold mine for Lucifer. Challenge his logic, ask him to explain why. Get into debates with him, disagree with him and stand your ground. He loves it. Lucifer does not want an army of mini meâs trailing behind him. He wants a community of real people who he knows he can actually test, and they wonât immediately crumble to his will just because heâs Lucifer. He despises blind obedience and adores confrontation. Do not feel like youâve done something wrong if he edges you into disagreeing with him. Heâs not going to be mad, heâs going to be excited. That is when he truly gets to see what youâre made of.
And I think thats all for now.
