woof

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

telling a vampire "youre not allowed in my house anymore" and they get blasted out through the nearest wall

erika kirk being handed the golden opportunity to be the face of conservatives for the rest of her life and then fumbling it instantly by being genuinely unlikable and off-putting will always be funny to me almost as funny as remembering that charlie kirk got shot in the neck and died

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

had a dream i found a tape labelled “sex tape” and when i played it in a vcr it was just two fully clothed guys beating the shit out of each other with metal bats

A cat is a smart and mysterious animal from the planet cute

using windows movie destroyer to make youtube soap

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.