FLUIDITY

Hey there,

Thanks so much for the question! I love this one.

Let's see...

1) I'm a reaction junkie. Seeing boys getting off on how they're being treated, the scenario being crafted for them, how they respond to my commands and instructions, how they quiver feeling my nails... All of that immensely adds to my experience.

2) I love being in charge. It feels incredibly right to be obeyed and listened to (usually) without question. In real life, I don't get a lot of respect out of the gate. So being able to set the terms on which others relate to me is a really nice change of pace.

3) It gets me out of my head. Going into dom headspace lets me really focus on the boy in front of me and what my body and heart wants in that moment. There is plenty of room in my head to keep track of safety, time, when the sub last had water, etc. There isn't a lot of space for the shitty stuff that happened at work or other personal woes.

4) I love connecting with my submissives and knowing them in a way most other intimate friends will never know them. I connect best with subs who are interested in having a connection. Guys who show up and just want to talk about what's hot usually lose me. I get to know some of a sub's most intimate kinks. Some subs have partners who aren't kinky and I get to know their kinky side inside and out and even their partners don't know how much they love flogging (for example).

5) The longer a sub submits to you, the more interesting things get. Over time as I earn a sub's trust and it becomes unshakable that i will do no wrong by him, I've found every one (of the admittedly handful of subs) has revealed. "Sir, I have a secret fetish I've always wanted to do but I've never been able to trust anyone enough to do it!" Some boys want to experience predicaments, others knives, others want to try a session without safe words, etc. And as a rider on this point, yes, i always carefully consider the safety of a sub as well as my ability to carry out their request. I have refused requests that were simply too dangerous.

6) I love it when subs fanboy over my scenes. With some boys I'm able to get into a place with them where they feel comfortable giving feedback and when that happens I make a point of asking about various dimensions of the scene. I've had a few subs who took the opportunity for feedback to tell me how amazing it was. Comments ranging from "I can't believe that's what that feels like..." to "That was the best kink experience of my LIFE!" all the way to the simple "Could you just do that thing you do for the rest of my fucking life? I came like a fire hose."

7) I love learning about myself in the process. I know this isn't true of other doms, but BDSM has really given me a path to explore myself. My likes, dislikes, who I am, and who I want to be. Not to mention the morality of power exchange and the kinks I engage with. My personal growth has been extraordinary thanks to kink and idle shower contemplation.

8) I love passing on what I've learned. When I started in kink there was no welcoming committee. There wasn't anyone who could guide me. No one to help me sort the fantasy from the actuality and there are signs of that ALL over tumblr and the internet as a whole. That missing welcome wagon also made my kink feel like less of a community and more of an identity. Something else sorely lacking (although I blame that one more on the tumblr purge than much else).

I don't think there's anything that I could be offered to give up being a dominant top. It's one of the things about me I most enjoy. I hope I always do.

If you have a question about BDSM, scenes, terms, how to treat subs, etc. Ask me anything. I've had a decade of experience, 2 mentors, and this long successful blog. I'm qualified.