I wanna watch the world burn

Jake: Why not?

Jake: Seriously? Why the fuck do people keep thinking it was Matt that made out with Michaela? I kissed one of the hottest girls in glee club and everyone's patting that dude on the back for something I did.

Jake: I could get most of them to have sex with me without needing them to feel sorry for me, thanks. Also what kind of rumors are we talking here?

Jake: Well, the rest of us don't, so kind of makes it seem like you're just full of crap. All it did was make people pay even more attention to the same people they're usually all over, so cool, glad Puck's the center of the universe.

Jake: How is being the bottom of a list he's the top of going to get me out of his shadow? Just seems like you made his shadow even bigger to me.

Kitty: But I'm not so whatever. Literally no, it didn't? The only thing worth mentioning since I dropped the Glist has been Tina's (-1)half-assed nudes, Matt (-4)and Mickey (11) making out at Blaine's (-10)party, and Raphael (-5) somehow getting enough votes to tie with two other people even though literally everyone hates him. Your Lima Loser of a big brother isn't the center of anyone's universe.

My lord and savior, Jesus Christ. As it should be. 

I love performing, Mr Schue's a nice teacher and Quinn Fabray did it first. 

I didn't chose it, it's not a nickname. I was named after a Springsteen song. 

That's exactly what it means. I'd have joined the Chastity Club but apparently it was disbanded last year by the local adulterer and no one saw it as a warning sign. 

Mason: I am? Thanks! I mean, Kait is interesting looking if you like alien-looking girls and some people do but I'm not one of them. Hey, we're not automatically effed! Sugar's got a lot of other strengths too; she's a really really good dancer and she's super rich so we could have WAY better costumes and effects if we made it like a generic battle of the bands kind of thing! I love sharing circles but you're probably right, people don't seem to want to share...

Mason: My name is Mason, not James! You know that, Kitty 😂 Being separated from Madison for forever would be worse than those other torture things you listed, wow, that place sounds so mean! Just because I think most of the people in glee are cute doesn't mean I'm lusting over them, why do you always go so extreme with it? And Kait is maybe not as high on the cute list as other people to me if that means anything about my eyesight LOL. There's got to be more productive ways to force it though! Like... I don't know, having a sing off, juniors versus sophomores, and kicking their butts! Or having a sharing circle and telling them and Mr. Schue how we feel!

Mason: There's nothing horrifying about my relationship with my sister but okay, whatever you say! Hell DOES sound bad, I guess that's another good reason for not watching scary mean porn. What, why? I spot brilliantly every time which means my eyesight is fabulous which means that I'm mostly right and most of us are really pretty people! Well. I mean, being mean is never the answer but I understand where you were coming from at least. They really do get everything which is super unfair! They're not even more talented than us or anything, they're just older which isn't that useful -- if anything, the fact that we'll still be here in two years is a great reason to have us be the more seasoned performers. I just wish there was a way for people to understand that without having to hurt any feelings.

Jake: Wow, blaming the quiet kid, real classy. At least you sent the message where he could read it and defend himself, instead of saying it when he can't hear you over his headphones.

Mason: Why wouldn't we? We're siblings, we still live together, it makes sense! And ew, I don't watch twin porn, who would even make that?! I don't watch much porn at all, actually, did you know most of it is super violent towards women? It's not fun 😨 We would've been separated in spirit and that's just as bad, it's a twin thing. Oh. I mean, I knew it was all lies since everybody in the glee club is pretty hot, but I don't get it, why would you go out of your way to do something that made people feel bad?

Mason: Excuse you, we have bunk beds! And there are WAY better twinning representations out there, with no icky blood or ick, do you want recommendations? I don't know, because being separated makes us sad and we didn't get sad so yay, isn't that a good thing? I mean, you probably made the list to make people smile and people are getting caught on the negative but your happy plan worked on at least two of us!

Bree: Most people don't, but those with half a brain? Well... Let's just say Puck's head is probably even bigger at this point - if that's even possible.

Bree: Though I /should/ smack you for not putting Raphael higher. I think /everyone/ could agree that he's /not/ hot. He has the potential, sure, but he ruins it every time he opens his big mouth... And those sweaters? It takes him from a safe five to an ugly two.

Kitty: 🤢 Ok but what about Jake? He's cute but no one's inducting him into Mensa any time soon.

Mason: You know, people are always talking about Game of Thrones around me and I don't get the hype. It sounds so creepy and violent! And right now, I'm not really sure what the relevance is! I'm just thanking you for not separating us, its no comment on Madison's appearance one way or another!

Bree: The Glist. I knew it had to be a Cheerio... I just didn't expect it to be /you/. Especially with how high you placed Puck - he's not the brother you're cozying up with.