basic

The Muses did not tell us the gospel truth. Zeus was a hoe and Hercules was a demi-god. More like a gospel lie.

I want a puppy but she said no.

The only Dracula I care about.

Looked down an aisle upstairs and there was a woman staring at the boxes we have stacked up there. I wasn't looking directly at her but in that general direction. Did a double take and she was gone. Just a shirt was hanging there. Ain't no way in HELL that I am going back upstairs. Idgaf if I'm a manager or not. Someone else is doing it from now on. Thank God I can tell people what to do.

Why is it still only called a bachelor's degree? What about bachelorette degree? I want degree equality.

Me this Halloween 🎃

This is Baby Kitty. We are taking drunk wine selfies. ❤❤❤

I had to decorate a Christmas tree today at work. It looks absolutely nothing like the picture. Who makes these designs? Have they ever actually decorated a tree before? Ribbon does not do what you want it to. I never knew there was a wrong way to fluff a tree? Apparently it's like a sport? Anyway,I hope customers think "10/10 would buy bc it looks believable and not like some Southern Home magazine extravaganza". And bc I tried real hard like a good elf.

I do not like dolphins. At all. I would rather be eaten by a shark than have to deal with a dolphin.

When Thanksgiving gets here, I don't care about the turkey, ham or whatever other "main dish" you're trying to serve me. I'm here for the home-made mac n cheese, potato salad, broccoli casserole, green bean casserole, all that good stuff. Don't come at me asking "do you want some turkey?" Uhhh no. Get outta here with that flavorless bullshit.

Sasha, Chloe, Yasmin, and Jade? These were my favorite dolls growing up. Ever notice that they disappeared? Well, blame Barbie. She thought she was the baddest B around the block til these 4 bitches showed up. They out fabbed her and took all her money and love. So what did she do? Pulled a Taylor Swift and sued their asses for stealing intellectual property. Now the Bratz are no more. But I'll always remember you four big lipped bitches. RIP!