The Muses did not tell us the gospel truth. Zeus was a hoe and Hercules was a demi-god. More like a gospel lie.
occasionally subtle

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YOU ARE THE REASON

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@wizardsfancy-blog
The Muses did not tell us the gospel truth. Zeus was a hoe and Hercules was a demi-god. More like a gospel lie.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Pros and Cons of living with your mom as an adult:
Pros:
She does my laundry even though I can do it myself
She always keeps the house stocked with food
She makes my doctors appoitments
Cons:
I want a puppy but she said no.
me, having been ignored for approximately .5 seconds:
Such precious!
Me and baby kitty back at it again!

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The only Dracula I care about.
The most awkward Christmas cookie.
So work is haunted.....
Looked down an aisle upstairs and there was a woman staring at the boxes we have stacked up there. I wasn't looking directly at her but in that general direction. Did a double take and she was gone. Just a shirt was hanging there. Ain't no way in HELL that I am going back upstairs. Idgaf if I'm a manager or not. Someone else is doing it from now on. Thank God I can tell people what to do.
Its 2018 people!
Why is it still only called a bachelor's degree? What about bachelorette degree? I want degree equality.
Me this Halloween 🎃

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This is Baby Kitty. We are taking drunk wine selfies. ❤❤❤
I had to decorate a Christmas tree today at work. It looks absolutely nothing like the picture. Who makes these designs? Have they ever actually decorated a tree before? Ribbon does not do what you want it to. I never knew there was a wrong way to fluff a tree? Apparently it's like a sport? Anyway,I hope customers think "10/10 would buy bc it looks believable and not like some Southern Home magazine extravaganza". And bc I tried real hard like a good elf.
For those of you wanting to do something fun with the kids this year........
For the love of God, do NOT pick pumpkin carving. I was pestered for 2 hours with the lines of "when are we gonna give the pumpkin a face?" from my three year old. Then after dinner I was all like "it's pumpkin carving time!" Lemme tell you, I felt like I was walking out on stage in front of my fans. My kid was screaming "I love yous" and hugging me and just making weird noises of excitement. It was glorious. I was the worlds best mom for all of 30 minutes. First of all, carving a pumpkin is difficult as hell. And the tools they sell are cheap shit. Can't even cut through butter. Weak ass knives. Then it's time to pull out the most slimiest orange guts ever. Now, at this point I'm like awww yissss! Bonding time! Nope, I gotta do that too! He doesn't want to get his hands dirty. So not only do I have to carve it with a shitty knife, I have to de-gut it too. Like what is my kid even doing at this point? A free show? Let's see how many times mommy can say the f-word when she accidentally cuts herself with the shit knife? After all this, I'm abandoned. Only have one eye done. Kid hasn't participated at all, barely even moral support. He has given up a race he didn't even start. Moral of the story? Pumpkins are stupid and three year olds are no help.
Unpopular opinion......
I do not like dolphins. At all. I would rather be eaten by a shark than have to deal with a dolphin.
I'm team #allsides
When Thanksgiving gets here, I don't care about the turkey, ham or whatever other "main dish" you're trying to serve me. I'm here for the home-made mac n cheese, potato salad, broccoli casserole, green bean casserole, all that good stuff. Don't come at me asking "do you want some turkey?" Uhhh no. Get outta here with that flavorless bullshit.

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Remember Bratz Dolls?
Sasha, Chloe, Yasmin, and Jade? These were my favorite dolls growing up. Ever notice that they disappeared? Well, blame Barbie. She thought she was the baddest B around the block til these 4 bitches showed up. They out fabbed her and took all her money and love. So what did she do? Pulled a Taylor Swift and sued their asses for stealing intellectual property. Now the Bratz are no more. But I'll always remember you four big lipped bitches. RIP!
Look at this poor baby
It cannot sit up straight, it looks like it's constantly screaming, and it is pretty much a head with legs. What happened?!