What if "what I got" isn't enough?

displacedprincess​:

Elena chuckled low in her throat, jostling Lali a little with the movement of her chest but the baby slept peacefully. Now that the twins were quiet, it made Elena remember…

…she’d had to pee since this battle to get them to sleep began. Fuck.

She looked over at Mateo and smiled sheepishly. “…not to cut this romantic moment short, but I have never needed to pee more in my life. I’m going to put her down in her crib first, be right back. Then you try laying him down.”

Mateo tensed, praying to anyone that would listen that Lali would stay asleep, focusing every ounce of empathic chill vibes on the room at large in hopes that both twins would allow them to put them down without waking up.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Lali simply snuffled sleepily and settled quite quickly. Nico went down just as easy. 

“No worries, mi amor.” He kissed her cheek as he passed by. “Take your time. I’ll just get dinner started.”

displacedprincess​:

“You’re giving me too much credit, Mateo.” Elena said, patting Lali’s head. “I know everyone thinks I’m something special but you’ve known me since we were children. And you’re here now, a would-be queen without her country.”

Elena didn’t seem too sad though. She was always a little sad about home, and she would be until she got to return, but this wasn’t sad Elena hours.

“I’ll take partial credit for this recent development, but you really did that on your own. All I did was get pregnant.”

Mateo laughed quietly, rocking Niko gently as the tiny baby snuffled in his sleep. “Of course I’m here. Where else would I be? And for the record, I’m here because I love you.Not because of your social royal political whatever status. Just in case that was ever in question.”

He knew people talked and he knew that many thought he was just there because of the money or royal status or whatever. Nothing could be farther from the truth, however. He would actually prefer it if those things weren’t even a factor. But they were and he was here because he was crazy in love with his best friend. 

"Honestly I think we are just a really good team.” He grinned. “You bring out the best in me.”

displacedprincess​:

Elena laughed at the mention of Marlena, Mateo’s badass older sister. God, Elena thought Marlena was so cool when she was a kid. She still thought that. How Mateo turned out so soft with four badass women around him - uh, herself included, like, obviously - was beyond her.

That wasn’t a bad thing though.

He was soft, and good, and always would be, and that was what her children needed. But where there used to be meekness there was a new confidence behind her gentle and kind Mateo. He wasn’t boastful but he wasn’t selling himself short these days either.

Elena wouldn’t have recognized the Mateo of 2020 if she was the Elena of 2015.

She imagined Marlena of Whatever Year They Make It Home might feel similarly to Elena of 2015.

“I think she’d tell you to lose it because now she can’t boss you around as easily. And then hip check you into the nearest piece of furniture and say ‘about time.’ I think she’ll be really proud.”

Mateo snorted, though he was blushing. Sometimes he didn’t recognize himself either these days, but the idea that his family might be proud of him in spite of the many mistakes he’d made along the way gave him hope that maybe he had done something right in all of this.

“You’re right. She probably would, though I’m sure she’s found someone else to boss around since I’ve been gone. Marlena without bossiness is like the sky without the sun or something.”

He smiled and leaned his head on Elena’s shoulder. “You know, you’ve done a lot to make me who I am today. You’re a huge inspiration to me, mi amor.”

displacedprincess​:

“I’d say not as stubborn as me, but you’re really proving yourself lately.” Elena said. “And that’s a compliment. I like this Mateo having a backbone development.”

She llaughed softly at that, so as not to disturb either of the babies, and kissed Mateo, pulling away quickly though because the motion was enough for Lali to make a noise as if to say, ‘what the hell, you moved!’

Her head rested on his shoulder and she hummed in agreement. “Yeah. It just feels empty now, just us and the twins. Not that I don’t love being a little family with the four of us. I just mean…I miss her. And my parents. They should have gotten to know them, you know?”

At one point while in labor, high off her ass on pain meds, she broke down sobbing and asking for her long dead mother. Lucia hadn’t left her mind since giving birth.

Mateo smiled. It was true. So much had happened since they’d left Avalor and, at first, he’d tried to run away from his problems, hiding his head in the sand like some ridiculous bird. If he couldn’t see the problems, and allowed himself to focus on self loathing, then perhaps he was doing what was right.

However, he’d reached a crossroads after their break up. He’d realized that self loathing did absolutely no one any good, least of all himself and certainly not Elena. The assertiveness it took to tell the self loathing to take a hike had spread to other areas of his life and he had no regrets. Not about that anyways.

He was just glad that Elena approved of “Mateo with a backbone” and that she loved their new little family life together.

Kissing her back, he rested his head on hers and replied, “I get that. A little at least. I know its not the same since my mom at least has a chance to see them someday, but it does make me sad that she hasn’t gotten to meet her grandchildren yet. Marlena too.” He snorted at the thought of his sister who was everything he wasn’t. “Though, I don’t know how Marlena would feel about my new backbone.”

displacedprincess​:

Elena also, a little bit, felt guilty about taking advantage of what having a loving partner gave her seeing as she turned down his marriage proposal a few months before the babies were born. She knew that was ridiculous and didn’t say as much. He’d probably only propose again and that was the last thing she wanted.

Once they adjusted to having the babies around then she would entertain the idea…possibly. She hadn’t given it much thought if she was being honest.

Too busy baking and birthing babies.

So when Mateo insisted he could handle it, she absentmindedly played with one of Eulalia’s little hands and slowly nodded. “Okay. You convinced me. But if you change your mind you can tell me to cancel, it’s fine.”

Now that he mentioned it she did need some Babette time.

“How have you been doing with not speaking English around them?” Elena asked. That was the rule: no English spoken to or around the twins as much as possible. Spanish and Portuguese only so they’d learn Avalor’s dual native tongues like native speakers.

“It’s been easier with Isa moved into the dorms…I wish she wouldn’t have though.” Elena said, looking down. 

She missed her sister a lot and hoped dorming was a one year venture. She wanted Isa living with her until they could go home. “I miss her a lot.”

“Like that’s ever going to happen.” Mateo smirked. “You should know me well enough by now that I can be very stubborn when I want to be.”

The truth was that he would never take back a promise, especially not to Elena. He cared too much. And he really did believe he could handle the twins for a few hours on his own. 

As for the proposal, he’d tried not to think about it too much. It honestly still hurt that she’d flat out rejected him like that. Particularly, considering how her argument was such a weak one. They weren’t going home anytime soon, so the rejection based on such a feeble argument made him feel that there was something deeper going on, and his old self loathing couldn’t help but whisper hateful things about how it was he who was lacking, not their situation. 

He really didn’t want to think about that, so he focused on keeping up with the twins and making sure Elena was as healthy and happy as possible. 

His expression shifted to sympathetic as she began talking about Isa. 

“Aww, well at least Isa is doing what she loves—learning.” He reached over to give her arm a squeeze. “And she’s only a few kilometers away at the uni, so we’ll just have to make sure to keep up with our Sunday dinner plans. That way she’ll never have an excuse not to come home at least once a week.”

displacedprincess​:

Elena bit her lip and inhaled sharply at Mateo daring suggest it was time for her to have fun with Babette. The babies weren’t even a month old! No, no, Mateo absolutely did not have this. Neither did she!

Not alone anyway.

“That’s what everyone says about newborns and then disaster.” Elena replied. “They’re too little, too needy still. I can’t make you do that especially when I don’t feel up to returning the favor yet.”

It would be awhile before Elena felt confident with Lali and Nico-slash-Nicky.

(Elena favored Nico, Mateo favored Nicky, so one baby just had two names.)

The thing was, Mateo did actually have this. He had a way with the twins, most likely thanks to his newfound empath powers, and could usually calm them when all else failed. It also helped that their reagents were bright as day and he had quickly learned to tell the difference between a hangry cry and a sleepy cry. Sure, attending to both babies’ needs at once was a bit of a challenge, but it wasn’t impossible and he’d done it a fair few times on his own when she was sleeping, thanks to his crazy lack of sleep schedule.

But Elena was still far too nervous to believe him. Not only that, but she had this idea stuck in her head that parenting was a quid pro quo kind of thing, which Mateo didn’t agree with one bit. 

“Well, that’s just silly,” he replied, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “This isn’t about you owing me a favor. This is about you taking 5 seconds for yourself, so you don’t lose your mind. You deserve it and I CAN handle it. Do you forget who you’re talking to? I was practically born for this.” He smiled reassuringly and reached over to pat her hand.

“Besides, you will be much better equipped to keep up with these two if you are rested up both physically and mentally.”

displacedprincess​:

“No.” Elena sighed dramatically, before chuckling. “I mean, yeah, just…”

Should she admit it? She worried, a little, about what Mateo would think if Mateo knew what she was really thinking. They weren’t even a month old! And yet Elena’s mind was already on being able to pass them off to someone else for a few hours a couple times a week.

Was she a bad mom because she wanted to sleep? Or god forbid, talk to an adult that wasn’t her partner?

“Anxiously anticipating when these two have a few vaccines in them and I feel comfortable letting someone besides Isa watch them. Long enough for a nap.”

After her admission though, she did smile, although she didn’t look any less tired. “Other than that though. How are you doing without sleep being a thing anymore?”

Mateo grinned. “Sleep? I don’t think I even know what that is—not for the past five years anyways.” He’d never been much of a sleeper, having favored small catnaps at all hours of the day and night throughout his teen and early adult years. “Honestly, it’s the being on constant alert that is more exhausting than the actual lack of sleep. But I’m doing fine,” he assured her. 

He smiled reached over to squeeze her hand. “But seriously,” he added, “I think that’s understandable.” He could see how tired and frazzled she’d been since the babies had arrived as plain as day and wanted her to be able to find a bit of rest time. 

“And, honestly,” he added with a smile as he gently rubbed little Nicky’s back in response to a sleepy snuffle, “I think you should just go ahead and plan a girls night out with Babette or something. I can handle the twins for a few hours on my own.”

So, life with twins was...much more challenging than Mateo had expected. Not that he’d thought it would be a walk in the park or anything. But it was exhausting. Mateo tried his best to keep the pressure off of Elena and used his need for very little sleep to his advantage, but it always felt like the twins were one step ahead of him. As soon as he would get one contented, the other would need something, and, of course, the crying would set the first twin off. 

But every once in awhile they would manage to find that eye in the storm that was their new normal. And now was one of those moments. It was mid afternoon and they’d just gotten the babies fed, changed, swaddled and had rocked them to sleep. The exhausted parents had collapsed on the couch, side by side, each with a baby on their chest. 

The twins both slept a lot better during the day when they were being held and Mateo had to admit that there was something soothing about holding a sleeping infant. Besides, keeping his mind on the babies took it off of the sting of rejection. Mateo smiled a tired smile at Elena and settled in for nap time.

“I think they’re finally asleep. You doing ok, mi amor?”

@displacedprincess​

displacedprincess​:

Elena would like to be excluded from this narrative please! Where was the exit button for this conversation, because she needed it.

She did not ask to be pregnant and she also did not ask for Mateo to be in a rush to wife her up. Can’t they just get through this pregnancy first? Can she not focus on one major unexpected life event at once?

“I’m not brushing you off Mateo I just. I’m not sure I’m ready to be someone’s wife. And I don’t want to think about it yet.” Elena sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Can we talk about this again later, cariño?”

She brought her hand down toward her mouth the chew on the pad of her thumb. “After I have the babies we can discuss this. Can we focus on one thing at a time? Please?”

Elena knew she was being unfair but — Mateo picked one hell of a hill to die on.

His eyes widened, traitorous tears burning She wasn’t ready to be someone’s wife? Really? The way she said it as if he were just another random jerk out of the blue asking for her hand solely for the connection to the crown princess—like so many others who had come before him. 

He couldn’t lie. That hurt. A lot. 

Her arguments were weak and full of BS, and if she didn’t want him, then he certainly wasn’t going to force the issue.  Sighing, he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, shrugging as he said, “As you wish.”

displacedprincess​:

Elena thought it was funny that she was the literal princess in this relationship, and yet Mateo seemed more like he was living in a fairytale. Did Elena want to marry Mateo? Absolutely yes. Did she want to have children with him? Obviously yes. But the latter was already happening well before she wanted it to and the former…

A part of Elena was already at peace with her eventual wedding not being like it was ‘supposed’ to be. Elena logically knew that she wouldn’t get married in the cute little church in the mountains of Avalor that her parents were married in because she knew that the mountain provinces would probably be the last to recover from the effects of the civil war. Assuming the church still stood, the logistics of a royal wedding there would be a nightmare post-war. 

She knew that eventually she would marry Mateo before she ideally wanted to. Still, Elena clung to that last semblance of control she felt she had over her life. She couldn’t control having to leave Avalor; and while she should have been more careful, she didn’t properly use birth control and ended up pregnant long before she wanted to be.

What she did have control over? Her marital status.

Elena did not want to marry Mateo because it was the ‘right’ thing to do. She did not want to marry him because he was trying to prove to her and to himself that he wasn’t going to leave like his own father did. Elena, frankly, would get married when she wanted to and not a moment sooner.

And Elena did not want to get married right now.

Sure, an engagement ring on her finger would quiet Mateo on the marriage topic for a while, but sooner or later he’d start pressing her to set a date. She didn’t want a ring until she was ready to talk details. Details of a wedding were the furthest thing from her mind right now.

“Mateo, I-” she began, licking her bottom lip as she searched for the words. “Can we please revisit this after I have the babies?”

She sighed and ran her free hand through her hair. “I want to marry you. I do. But I’m not going to rush to the courthouse just because its what we should do. I want…I need more control than that.”

“It’s all I have left, really. As far as what’s up to me about my own life. Please, ask me again when I’m not as big as a whale, and when we have an idea of what we’re doing with these two.”

“I want to get married when we want to get married. Every other choice was made for us. For me.”

The furrow between Mateo’s eyebrows grew deeper and deeper the longer Elena spoke. She was talking an awful lot about her and very little about them. Of course, Mateo’s entire being tended to default to Elena’s wants and needs, and he preferred it that way. Usually. 

But this felt different. She was clinging to an old argument that became increasingly more invalid each day they spent living in Swynlake with no end in sight. Then there was the face that she refused to consider his perspective and that did not set well with him.

“This isn’t about control, Elena,” he said cooly, shaking his head, pulling his hands back and folding them in his lap to keep from fidgeting. “If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were implying that I am trying to control you.”

She said to ask again later, and perhaps he should just drop it, but he felt as if he was being brushed off and what he wanted wasn’t important to her, and that stung.

“If you want to marry me as you keep on saying you do, then I don’t understand the hesitation. We are stuck thousands of miles from home with no hope in sight of going back anytime soon. We are here, living together, sharing a bed, and committed to one another. We’re in love and we’re expecting twins in less than a month and I think we deserve to settle down and be happy together for as long as we have here.”

He let out a huge sigh. “I don’t understand the point in waiting, unless—” he swallowed hard, letting his words die in his throat as he shook his head wordlessly. Putting words in her mouth was not going to help anyone.

displacedprincess​:

There were a lot of feelings Elena thought she should be expressing right now. She should cry from joy. Her world should be falling into place. Everything should be good, and perfect, and Elena should say yes without any hesitation.

Elena instead said nothing at first and just stared at the ring. God, Rafa had even sent him her ring. She was about to disappoint Mateo an Rafa in one fell swoop, wasn’t she?

Elena knew she should say yes. 

“Don’t do this to me, Mateo.” She said instead, staring at the ring but not looking at him. “Mateo, you know it’s yes, but yes but not yet.”

Why was he trying to do everything ‘right’ just because he thinks he should? Wasn’t he happy as things were? They could get married when they got back home to Avalor and can marry in the same place her parents did.

“You know I want to marry you. I’ve told you as much. And you’re more than good enough for me; too good for me, even! But I– I don’t need to be married to you to feel like we’re a family. And I want to get married in Avalor. It’s got nothing to do with me not loving you, and not being proud to be your partner. The opposite. I want to be able to face our entire country and tell them I choose you.”

“But were aren’t home yet. I’m sorry.”

Mateo stared wide eyed, his eyebrows scrunching together as her words echoed in his head. 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry

Though it didn’t make the rejection hurt any less, he knew he shouldn’t be surprised. Half of him had expected this, he’d just—he didn’t know. Maybe the fact that they’d already check the far more scandalous thing off of their list. The old argument against getting married didn’t stack up anymore. 

“You talk as if we are going to be going home next month or even next year—” he started, his head shaking ever so slightly. He didn’t want to say that they were never going home, even thought it sure felt that way. “—but the truth is that we have no idea when it will be. There is no light at the end of this tunnel and even if there was, once we’re back in Avalor there will be so many more important things than a royal wedding.”

displacedprincess​:

Ay, Zuzo.

Far be it from Elena to say anything about how familiars or spirit guides should be or whatever, but would it kill Zuzo to be more clear about why they should name their child after Mateo’s father he barely remembered?

But okay. Mateo was sure? Then so was Elena.

“Okay,” Elena said, nodding. “Then we’re agreed on their names.”

She heaved a sigh of relief and any of the tension in her shoulders released at the daunting task of naming two little humans being both complete, and, a success. Mateo gripped her hand and she smiled and squeezed his hand back. Elena, all things considered, was lucky.

Look at who she was having children with! The kindest, most loving person she’d ever met was going to be her kids’ father and that was fantastic.

“I know,” Elena assured him. “I love you too. I’m glad I have you, and that you’re you. Lali and Nico will be so lucky. And so am I.”

Mateo swallowed hard, his smile beatific as he simply watched Elena for a moment, allowing his nerves to settle. 

“I’m glad we are in agreement then,” he chuckled quietly. “That we love each other, I mean. And that our children and I are lucky to have you. ” It was honestly still so weird to say our children out loud. 

Clearing his throat, he pulled the little box from his pocket, though he left his hand in his lap for the moment. “Elena, I—I’ve been thinking—” he paused, his heart racing as he gathered his courage. 

Half the time when he thought of this moment, he convinced himself she was going to throw him out for even suggesting such an outrageous thing. The other half he couldn’t imagine her ever saying “no”. They were in love. They were about to have not one, but TWO babies. They were absolutely committed to one another. In his mind, the only logical way forward was to get married. 

“I’ve been thinking,” he continued, squeezing her hand again as his voice shook ever so slightly. “Well, first, that I love you and second that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. With that in mind, I was thinking that we are about to be parents. There’s not much more permanent than bringing tiny humans into this world.” He was nervous and thought he must be rambling, but pressed on. “Anyways, I just—I thought we should maybe talk about making our family more official.”

displacedprincess​:

Oh.

Well, that was unexpeced, but Elena wasn’t going to veto it. It was just…didn’t Mateo say his father walked out on him? Why would he want to name his son after a man that did that? But it was  a perfectly good name, and Elena was fresh out of ideas for boy names so it wasn’t like she had an alternative.

Elena nodded and brought the point up anyway, just in case Mateo wanted to change his mind now before it was on the birth certificate.

“Are you sure? I mean, your father…I know you have a lot of pain and unanswered questions there.” She took a sip of water and set the glass down, pushing it around in a circle as she continued. “I mean, I’m not saying no. If you’re sure then let’s go with that. I might talk later about tacking on Raul as another middle name, for my father, but I’m satisfied with that.”

And anyway, Elena didn’t have to come up with it.

“Right, so. For her name, I was thinking Eulalia Estefania as her first name, and I have several middle names starting with Lucia for my mother, but. Eulalia - Lali for short - is entirely her own, and then Estefania, for Esteban. Esteban’s done so much for me, and I miss him. I wish I could see his face when he realizes I named her after him.”

Mateo smiled as Elena explained her name choices. Eulalia was a beautiful name and seemed fitting somehow, even though he hadn’t met his daughter yet.He just knew it was a good fit for her. He couldn’t help but smirk when she mentioned Esteban. 

“It’s probably better that you don’t tell him, it might go to his head and we’d never hear the end of it.” Mateo very much like Elena’s older cousin—he’d always been very accepting of Mateo. But the man was vain as a peacock.

“Those names are perfect, mi amor,” he assured her. “As for your father’s name, we should absolutely include him, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it myself.” He smiled sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“As for my father’s name—well, I wasn’t too keen on the idea, but Zuzo convinced me that it was the right thing to do. Of course, he won’t tell me why but maybe I’ll find out someday.” Mateo rolled his eyes and shrugged. “But I know my mother would want it this way if she had any say in the matter. So Nicolas it is, Nicky for short.”

displacedprincess​:

“Hey, I have a zillion middle names and I remember them all!” Elena clapped back, before sipping at her water and smirking. She took a second sip of her ice water before she gave a soft sigh and snapped her fingers.

Yes, date night was partly so they could enjoy a final night out before the babies came. But this one has a purpose.

“Let’s get down to business, querido. What are you naming our son? And yes, you have to go first becasue I’m the one carrying the babies de Alva, soooo you get to be in the seat of baby name judgement. Warm it up for me.”

Mateo laughed, shaking his head at her quip. He only had two middle names, though he supposed his family was smaller so there weren’t as many people to honor or whatever.

He snapped to attention when her tone shifted to the more business like tone. Swallowing hard, he thought about his choices and wondered if he was making a good one—he was still unsure. He had mixed feelings about his father and wasn’t sure if he wanted to be reminded of the man every time he looked at his son. But Zuzo had assured him in his mysterious spirit guide kind of way that there were things that Mateo didn’t yet understand but would some day. And Mateo knew that had his mother been there, she would have wanted it this way too.

He only wondered what Elena would think. One way to find out, he supposed. 

Smiling and raising an eyebrow, Mateo took an extra long sip of his soda, drawing out the silence if only to draw out the suspense. 

displacedprincess​:

“Yes, well, you’d be nervous too if everyone you walk by stared at you in your whale-size glory.” Elena sighed, rubbing her round belly and pouting. “These two had better not give me a hard time when they decide to come. Mama’s been through enough.”

Elena was growing two humans and it showed and also took a toll on her physically. She was tired and always hot and couldn’t wait to feel temperature normally again.

She took a sip of her water and then added, “I’m also worried you’ll hate the name I’ve chosen for our daughter. And I’m worried about honoring all of the family and friends I want to honor in their middle names. I want to hit the important people. These might be our only children.”

Mateo frowned. He didn’t think she looked that big and really, he found her more beautiful than ever these days. He couldn’t explain why, he just—did. 

Though, he could admit that he was thoroughly looking forward to the babies coming, if only because he knew it was taking a toll on Elena’s health and morale. He wanted her to be happy and to finally feel comfortable in her own skin again.

displacedprincess​:

Elena gripped Mateo’s hand and smiled, twirling her hair around her finger with her other hand. She wouldn’t be wearing her hair down very often soon, will she? Not with two babies learning how to grasp and pull soon. It was a fleeting thought and not one she dwelled on, just like how he realized the manicure with long fake nails she’d just gotten would probably be her last of those for a while.

Just simple observations she was making as she got through her seventh month of pregnancy.

“I’m perfectly fine, Mateo.” She assured him. “You don’t need to worry – you seem nervous, why are you nervous? It’s making me nervous.”

Okay, maybe she already was all nerves. What if Mateo didn’t like the name she wanted for their daughter? What if he thought it was too off the wall just because it wasn’t very traditional like Elena, Isabel, Rafaela, or Maria?

“Oh, you know me, I just like to make sure my favorite princess is well cared for.” Mateo smiled sheepishly, patting her hand. “I know I sometimes go a bit overboard.”

He thought hard about how to broach the subject he was so eager to discuss, but wasn’t sure he should just blurt it out. It wasn’t like Elena had ever held back her opinion about this particular topic—marriage. She’d implied many times before the pregnancy that she wanted to marry him, but she wanted to wait until they had taken back Avalor so they could do it the right way—whatever that meant to a future queen.

The thing was, he’d always been ok with waiting for her because, well, she was worth it and he respected her wishes. But now they had not one, but two babies on the way, so he kind of figured they’d already thrown tradition to the wayside, so what was the point in waiting? Plus they were a family. It would be nice to make it official.

He needed to figure out a way to ease into it though.