Chardonnay and Chill

I hope Adele is having a swell day.

if your dreams ever get crushed, snort them back up like cocaine and move along with your life

“you have nice hands” means finger me like that’s it

it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”

writing a love letter and leaving a lipstick kiss mark at the bottom…. highest form of romance….

When girls hit on gay guys

I’m getting the same vibes that I did when that “medium-rare chicken” post was going around