There is no magic

if you survive the descent of the Crystal Formations to reach my lair and give me belly rubs i might let you go. you were pretty brave after all. Buuuuut maybe a few more minutes wouldn't hurt right....

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

All magic comes with a price, usually around 5.99 but premium packages are available

Hope you have better luck than I did; my last batch rescued a bunch of burning orphans.

A kitty wizard that has a ball of yarn for the orb they ponder and at the center of the yarn is a portal that is whispering the maddening truths of an ancient and powerful being. However, the kitty is too sillay, so they remain unaffected.

A wizard that fucks

People keep giving Fireball shit but like. Fireball is a classic spell for a reason. It makes for an effective answer to many problems or a really funny answer to different problems.

Person finds a cursed amulet that fills the wearer's mind with thoughts of treason and regicide as part of a blood curse but the wearer was already pretty staunchly anti-monarchy so they don't really notice.

wizards ignore social cues

Except for when they can be utilized for personal gain!

wizardry in games all falls in a spectrum between "press 2 to cast fireball" and "learn a bespoke programming language to cast spells"

despite having premade spells written on cards, magic the gathering has a "stack" and the comprehensive rules are 292 pages long so it's at least a little bit programming magic

Noita is a great example of both: you painstakingly assemble spell components in wand 1 in the correct order to obliterate anything you click on, then you accidentally press 2 to cast "whatever bullshit I stuffed in there for storage" and immediately explode.

thought it comes from caves

am i thinking of QUARTZ again

easy mistake

ah, nuts

(coincidentally nuts also comes from caves)

you are thinking of quartz again

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