with luv, liv

new music monday

- woman (anaiis) - helio (charlotte dos santos) - so i don’t feel useless (diana lopez) - dembow y sexo (la doña)

full playlist

journal 034 | 11.28.20

♪ | lucid | rina sawayama

well hello! gosh it’s been.... 8 months? since my last journal. so much has happened since i journaled last. coronavirus has only gotten worse, and the world seems to have fallen apart even more than before. but we have to look at the positives. i spend most of my days working on my classes and practicing since music school auditions are so soon. and when i’m not at the house, i’m at the art museum (a membership was my birthday gift back in july!) or a violin lesson. what else has happened... oh! i was accepted into the school i planned on going to, and they gave me a full ride. 100% paid for. i cried when i opened the envelope. i needed that so badly. anyway- college should be good. if all goes to plan, ill move out and move into my own apartment with just me and my dog sophomore year. i’m already counting the days.

what else is new with me? hmmm. i love the moon. sunset. girls. gold jewelry. press coffee. art history. flowers. jonghyun. new york city. beautiful people and beautiful things.

everything’s the same and everything’s different. and i have a lot of stories to share but maybe next time :)

𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥 “𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐚𝐫”

picasso vs. dora maar

mini playlist

- “dOra maar” onlyoneof - “art deco” lana del rey - “chicago boy” ari lennox - “mirrored heart” fka twigs

my dearest friends!!!  one of my most popular posts on here is this post where i compiled my favorite finals study tips and playlists!  my favorite lofi channel who i referenced several times in that post, 130mood, was taken down for copyright infringement due to the studio ghibli.  please go support her new channel!  she is a lovely person and makes the best and most aesthetic lofi mixes.  the link is below.  thank you ahead of time :))

130mood’s channel

journal 033 | 03.27.20

♪ | savanna | onlyoneof

Hello hello my dear friends (I can’t believe it- there’s now 629 of you!  I’m happy you’re here and I can’t wait to meet you)!  So much has changed and shifted since I last talked to you at the beginning of this year.  We’ve experienced tragic loss.  I am so deeply sorry for those of you already affected by this virus.  Know that we will get through this together by loving one another and having deep empathy.  Please stay home if your work allows it.  I’ve decided to be active on here again because I felt so motivated when I was the most active on Tumblr over other social media platforms.  I feel like I can share my feelings and emotions on here.  It’s a safe space for me.

I don’t have much to share with you.  I spend all of my days at home- I actually took the above photos just days before the virus ramped up in the United States.  That day was the last “normal” day I had.  Normalcy has disappeared for our world.

Shifting away from our current tragedy, I feel like my future goals have been pulled a million directions since we talked last.  I was aiming to eventually become an English professor (so I would be getting my doctorates in something related to English) but my vision has shifted (for the millionth time in my short high school life).  I’m not exactly sure what I want to do (it’s complicated- another post for another time) but I do know that I want to have money to travel.  My heart forever and ever belongs to New York City and I want to move there as soon as I can.  This summer, I was supposed to spend a month in the city at a music camp but I obviously won’t be doing that now.  Because of that, my chances of eventually going to NYU for school have been crushed.  I’m oddly ok with it- life is fragile and beautiful and tragic.  There isn’t time to be sad over what realistically, could never be.  I am content going to university somewhere different.  I would love to go home to Chicago.  At a time like this, I’m desperately homesick and lonely here in the desert.  Am I overly emotional and scared right now, or am I truly homesick for the place I claim to be home?  That is the question I ask myself every day.

Much love and support goes out to all who read this!  I am grieving with you.  The people of Italy, China, South Korea, New York, and all who were and continue to be greatly affected by this virus- I am grieving with you.  We will get through this.  Love one another and take each day as a gift.

guys !!!! HI!!! i’m back and alive!!  a ton has happened in my life and i need to write a long journal post very soon, but for now, here’s my feb playlist.  she’s lacking right now, so drop song recs :))

luv uuuu

the royal tenenbaums (2001) dir wes anderson

“true love will find you in the end” daniel johnston “new flesh” current joys “these days” nico “me and michael” mgmt “how soon is now?” the smiths

journal 032 | 01.10.20

♪ | boyfren | loveleo

Hello friends!  It’s been a few days since I last journaled.  I’m doing pretty well- although some unideal things have already happened this year, I’m keeping my head up and trying very hard to stay positive.  We have to move out of our current rental in just a few weeks so this whole weekend will be spent packing.  Most of our stuff is still in boxes from the first move so it shouldn’t be too difficult!  I have to keep my head up and just see it as one big adventure.

This past week I started my four honors high school classes for this semester.  It went well!  I’m excited to see what my college classes will be like (I start those on Monday).

Hope you had a great day!  The weather here is sunny and beautiful right now.  I’m trying to enjoy every moment :))  I’m surprised at how happy I am.  Obviously I have my moments, but overall, I haven’t been this happy for a long time.  2020 is going well so far!

journal 031 | 01.02.20

♪ | odd eye | shinee

Hello hello!  How are you all?  Today was so fun- my mom and I celebrated my great ACT score by hiking a little bit, drinking boba, and exploring new areas of the city!  We also explored a place called Cosanti, the past residence of Italian artist and architect Paolo Soleri (shown above).  It is famous for its handcrafted wind bells and ceramics.  Soleri had a dream of creating a self-sustained community which has not yet fully come to fruition.  His life and work are so interesting- I encourage you all to do a little digging and find out more about it!  Here’s a website if you’re interested :)

The Coachella lineup was just released and it looks super good!  I’m so proud of 88rising for their special segment- we love seeing that representation!  I’m such a huge fan and supporter of them and their artists.  They’re all so inspiring!  Check them out!!  Hope you all had a lovely day!  I finished the night with an episode of Downton Abbey.  Sybil is my favorite character- we stan a feminist queen!!  Night all :))

journal 030 | 01.01.20

♪ | golden | harry styles

Hello!  I hope you all had a wonderful start to your new year.  I think today was one of the best days of my life!  I began the day reading in a coffee shop (I started The Goldfinch- Donna Tartt’s writing is unmatched, as usual) and roaming around a Goodwill.  When I got home, I had my weekly panicked meeting with my parents talking through college and finances and my life in general.  My parents had just talked me off the ledge when I decided at the last minute to check if my ACT scores were in.  To give some context, I walked out of the ACT test center about 3 weeks ago feeling like I had done terrible.  I had run out of time on the science and math portions, I didn’t get a chance to go back and check my English portion, and I just didn’t feel like I had done very well.  I spent the whole break dreading the day the test scores came in, but the email never arrived.  Fast forwarding back to today, I was shocked when, instead of the “your scores aren’t in yet!!!” page popping up, a new page opened and two numbers appeared on my laptop.  I blinked a few times.  “What, what?” my parents asked.  I can honestly say this was the first time I found myself unable to speak.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  My first time taking the ACT, I scored five points better than my goal!  I’m so proud of my 31- my goal was 27, and my end goal for myself after several retries was 32.  And I had scored a 31 on my first attempt!  I’m especially proud of my score because of all the hard work I put in studying.  This wasn’t luck.  This score was the product of months of hard studying and years of learning that lead up to this point.  This score was a confidence boost for me.  I’m capable of doing what I put my mind to.

I’m dreaming big again, and that feels so good.  Did a 5 point jump in ACT score completely change the direction of my life?  Absolutely not!  But seeing my hard work pay off in the form of a test result was so gratifying.  My mindset going into 2020 is work hard, be intentional, and dream big.  In other news, my resolution is to read 50 books and watch 50 movies!  You can join me in my goal on my Letterboxd or my Goodreads (my username for both is oliviabolles).

Hope you had as great of a start to 2020 as I did!  Work hard, be intentional, and dream big :))