Posting this here bc I wanna vent without family or my boyfriend seeing and I know I haven’t been on here in a long time but long story short I moved from North Carolina to Texas at the end of last year with my boyfriend and about 2 weeks after we moved we found out I was pregnant (as I’m typing this I’m 29 weeks). This is the first time in my life that I’ve been this far from my family and I’m very home sick and my family is trying to convince me to move back home and as much as I want to, money, the lease on our apartment, and my boyfriend doesn’t want to move back is what’s holding me back from going. I don’t want to end things with my boyfriend and we both think long distance would be hard for both of us and I want him there for our daughter. But on the other hand we have no childcare help out here, we’re no contact with his dad atm and his mom lives 8 hours away. He has a few friends out here but I haven’t really connected with anyone here to be friends with and if we moved back to NC we would have an abundance of family to help while we work (if my bf can find a job, it’s partly the reason we moved was for him to have a better job opportunity, with my job I can just transfer) and this would be my parents first grandchild and I want her to grow up surrounded by family. I’m having my baby shower in a few weeks and going to nc for it since my family and friends can’t all fly out here and at some point when me and my bf were talking about the idea of me and the baby moving back while he worked in tx and I brought it up to my mom about keeping an eye out for places to rent back home in case that’s what we decided and she thought I was coming home for good so I had to tell her today that I’m not moving back and now she’s mad at me saying she’s not gonna be able to have a relationship with her grandchild bc we’re so far and she can’t afford to visit often which I understand sucks but I can try to visit more often due to me getting a higher position at my job that gives me more vacation time and money and maybe when our lease is up move back home that way we have time to save money. I just hate that I’ve disappointed her and made her cry and I just feel like I’m stuck between choosing between my bf and having him in mine and my daughter’s life or my family
I’ve been crying on and off bc I miss them and my friends so much and of course I want them there for my daughters milestones and to see her grow and I’ve been so lonely out here going through this without them but i know my bf doesn’t want to go back and I don’t want to keep his child from him or be absent in her life
