got me feelin' like a psycho.

                 her  gaze  carefully  studies  the  way  jaesun  removes  himself  from  behind  his  desk  ,  standing  up  and  with  much  hesitance  coming  to  face  her.  and  that’s  when  things  click  ,  the  puzzle  pieces  falling  into  place  as  he  ,  her  supervisor  ,  asks  her  to  help  him  with  a  simple  task  such  as  fixing  a  printer.  ‘’  oh  ,  but  you’re  not  my  subordinate  ,  are  you  ?  i’m  sure  that’s  something  for  yourself  to  figure  out  ,  you  don’t  need  my  help  ,  ’’  she  calmly  replies  then  ,  twirling  the  pencil  held  between  her  fingers  and  promptly  pushing  it  between  the  locks  of  the  hairs  that  are  tightly  put  together  in  a  bun.  it’s  to  egg  him  on  ,  get  him  to  say  what  she  wants  him  to  admit.  dahye  turns  her  chair  a  little  ,  crossing  one  leg  over  the  other  and  watching  him  ,  chin  resting  in  the  palm  of  her  hand.  ‘’  are  you  nervous  ,  mr.  lee  ?  ’’

anyone who knew him,     knew that he wasn’t one to hide his feelings.     not because he didn’t want to,     but because he didn’t know how.     his mom often described him as someone who wore his heart on his sleeve     ––     and it was true.     as much as he dreamed of being mysterious and hard to read like all those bad boys in movies all girls drooled after,     it was something he knew he could never achieve.     unfortunately this just so happened to be yet another situation that kept him in check with reality.

as he listened to her,     his idea getting completely rejected,     he could feel blood rushing to his face.     his eyes were busy wandering around the room,     inspecting every little detail in front of him but her.     despite keeping his eyes from looking at her,     he could see her each and every movement,     as provocative as they were.

           she  swears  she  doesn’t  do  it  on  purpose  ;  lingering  at  the  office  and  slowing  down  the  working  tempo  once  the  clock  nears  six.  though  a  hard  worker  in  her  everyday  life  ,  today  dahye  feels  quite  …  scattered  ,  her  thoughts  all  over  the  place  with  her  tasks  piling  up  and  papers  covering  half  her  desk  ——  none  in  order.  the  woman  doesn’t  even  notice  how  little  people  are  left  in  the  office  until  it’s  gone  absolutely  quiet  and  a  certain  ,  very  familiar  voice  breaks  the  silence.  her  head  immediately  whips  in  the  direction  of  the  sound  ,  eyebrow  raised.  ‘’  what  is  it  ?  ’’  she  foolishly  asks  ,  the  intent  behind  his  question  completely  flying  over  her  head  and  her  response  carrying  an  agitated  tone.  had  she  known  better  ,  she  would’ve  played  along.  ‘’  it’s  late  ,  just  tell  me.  ’’

the response he got from her was not necessarily one he had hoped for.     not only did she sound annoyed,     but it was evident on her face as well.     it made jaesun even more nervous.     in his mind it was obvious where he was trying to go with that lame little conversation opener of his,     given it was past six on a friday evening.     who would wait until the very last moment of the week to ask help on..... anything,    really.

no,     he could not back out now.     the whole point of finding someone with the same interest was to learn,     to try out new things.     but was the office out of question?     what if she thinks it’s too much,     or too risky?     with a million thoughts floating around his mind,     it almost felt like his head was spinning.     and his stomach hurt,     caused by the anxiety he felt in that very moment.

the office was starting to quiet down,    only three hardworking employees left:     one of them busy gathering their belongings in preparation to spend a few days away from work.     like always jaesun thanked them for their hard work and wished them a good weekend,     saying the usual     see you on monday      with a polite smile decorating his lips.     as he watched them walk away,     eventually closing the door behind them,     he noticed his heartbeat increasing.     his chest felt tight like someone was trying to stop him from breathing.     he was nervous.     with hesitating hands he slowly closed the lid of his laptop,     a dry cough escaping his mouth     ––     about to start a long awaited conversation with the only person left with him.