𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙞𝙩 . . .

                             each of varuna's outbursts are like a stab to the heart and seeing them cry , actually serves to make him hate himself even more. clearly , he was the fool for believing in the one responsible for his dabble into the criminal world. issei knew far too much and by extension , became a liability to the corrupt work that took place within the building. and now he's left to watch everything he'd worked so desperately for , fall right through the cracks of their foundation. at the station , he's situated into what can only be presumed as an interrogation room. and after hours of going in circles with different agents , he's finally permitted visitation. ' you're furious with me , i know it. but will you let me explain ━━ please. breaking my word to you was never my intent , 'runa. i just ━━ i wanted to give you the world , like i swore. like we talked about. and i had to take one last job to set us up for good , it wasn't meant to blow up in my face like this. ' he's choking around a sob that threatens to break through as he speaks into the grimey phone , head resting against the glass separating them. ' i love you more than anything , you know that. and i allowed it to cloud my better judgement , i'm so sorry ━━ but i'll figure out something and make this right for you. '

                                      ''  how  will  you  figure  it  out  this  time  ?  there's  gotta  be  a  point  when  you  have  to  stop  relying  on  your  luck.  ''  her  tone  is  sharp  and  spiteful  ,  wanting  the  other  to  know  she's  more  than  furious  —  something  beyond  anger  ,  that  she  somehow  manages  to  stay  extremely  calm  and  cool.  ''  and  to  think  i  trusted  you.  i  thought  you  trusted  me.  that  you  could  tell  me  this  type  of  shit.  ''  she  wants  to  hang  up  the  phone  already  ,  but  issei's  broken  voice  and  teary  eyes  stop  her  from  doing  so.  in  her  heart  there  are  cracks  ,  too  ,  and  she  wishes  desperately  to  believe  his  words.  to  allow  him  to  make  this  right  for  them.  ''  what  am  i  supposed  to  do  now  ?  ''  she  quietly  whispers.  she  already  gave  up  her  apartment.  gave  up  her  job.  her  flower  shop.  everything  ,  to  run  away  together  with  issei.  ''  oh  my  fucking  god  ,  fuck  you  ,  issei.  ''

                    " because i'm asking nicely. " nothing about his demeanour or tone would suggest such a thing, though. because the more tracy clams up, avoids eye contact and seems nervous, the more he pushes. the more he tries to wear him down. " there are those walls again. relax berlin, i'm not trying to hurt you. " a rare moment of brief gentility, but that doesn't mean he'll let up. " answer my question first. " with an arm securely linked around tracy's waist, the tip of his nose nudges into the line of their jaw; a misleadingly benign gesture. " take a chance for once. "

                                 TRACY  CAN'T  HELP  BUT  TENSE  UP  ,  with  ezra  continuously  urging  him  to  answer  him  and  giving  him  all  the  right  kind  of  signals  for  tracy  to  trust  the  process  for  once  —  that  perhaps  it's  okay  to  admit  to  his  feelings  ,  just  this  time.  ''  maybe  i  do  like  you  ,  ''  they  quietly  reply  ,  sensing  immediate  panic  in  their  chest.  everything  seemed  right  :  ezra's  encouraging  words  ,  the  arm  wrapped  around  their  waist  ,  taking  a  chance  for  once.  so  why  ,  even  after  confirming  it  for  himself  ,  does  he  have  his  doubts  ?  ''  but  don't  —  ''  and  tracy  creates  some  space  between  them  by  pushing  his  hands  against  ezra's  shoulders  ,  not  losing  his  touch  but  wanting  to  look  at  him  ,  ''  don't  make  a  big  deal  out  of  it.  if  you  really  don't  like  me  ,  that's  fine.  if  you  don't  want  to  continue  what  we're  doing  ,  that's  also  fine.  ''  it's  really  not.  ''  just  ...  don't  make  a  big  deal  out  of  it  ,  and  don't  tell  anyone.  ''

                    he doesn't like it. he doesn't like when tracy brushes him off so nonchalantly —— or rather, when tracy brushes off what they feel for him so nonchalantly. never mind the fact that ezra could just admit it first, he wants to hear them say it. bag over his shoulder is dropped haphazardly onto the ground as he risks taking a few steps closer to the other. " i'm the only person you're seeing, but you don't like me like that. you want to feel special, but you don't want to own up to it. how exactly do you feel about me? " he keeps taking steps closer and closer until tracy's back is against their locker. he doesn't stop there, though; bodies far too close together, head ducks so his murmurs tickle the other's ear. " tell me how you really feel about me. "

                                 ''  why  ?  ''  he  swallows  thickly  ,  stepping  backwards  and  feeling  his  back  pressed  against  the  lockers.  he  doesn't  want  to  answer  it  ,  he  really  does  not  want  to.  not  with  what  ezra  probably  wishes  to  hear.  ''  is  it  the  same  as  you  ?  i  don't  see  a  point  in  telling  you  ,  if  it's  not  the  same.  ''  the  last  part  of  that  sentence  is  whispered  ,  because  the  other's  face  is  next  to  his  ,  his  breath  brushing  past  his  cheek  and  causing  tracy  to  look  away  for  a  moment.  he  just  needs  one  question  answered  to  be  sure.  ''  are  you  seeing  other  people  ?  ''

                    " i'm telling you right now that i'm going to make more of a conscious effort. you will be my priority. " not all his points were invalid; when she thought of the gravity of her work it was hard to choose dinner or movies or nights in. perhaps she hadn't tried hard enough to merge her worlds. " i don't want you leave upset. " as he's packing up his things she slinks arms around his waist, pressing a kiss atop his clothed shoulder. " please don't be upset with me. "

                                 the  caregiver turns  around  in  his  girlfriend's  arms  ,  and  gently  places  his  hands  on  her  shoulders  in  a  comforting  manner.  he doesn't wish to push her away. ''  you  know  that  right  ?  i  just  need  time.  when  i'm  done  with  work  ,  we  can  talk  more.  if  you'll  be  here.  ''

                    " would it bother you if i did? " because of course he couldn't give a straight answer, the push and pull was part of the appeal of their arrangement. right? it was the only way to keep tracy with him. right? " of all the things i know about you, the one you want to question me for is bagels? " hands reach out for the other's bag, slinging it over his shoulder as yet another barrier just in case. god forbid he just ask tracy to stay. " you don't like me? ouch. "

                                 IT  WOULD  BOTHER  HIM  ,  YES  ,  and  tracy  is  pretty  sure  everything  about  their  stance  gives  away  that  they  don't  like  the  possibility  of  the  volleyball  player  seeing  anyone  else  other  than  them.  ''  yeah.  i  won't  like  being  just  one  of  your  many  flings.  you're  the  only  person  i'm  seeing.  ''  he  figures  being  honest  is  the  best  way  to  go  in  their  current  situation.  it  doesn't  mean  anything  serious  ,  they're  still  nothing  exclusive  ,  but  a  part  of  tracy  thinks  and  wishes  they  were.  ''  you  know  that's  not  what  i  meant  ,  ''  he  witnesses  the  taller  taking  his  bag  away  from  his  hands  to  sling  it  over  his  shoulder instead  and  now  tracy  definitely  has  no  way  out  of  the conversation.  ''  we  don't  like  each  other  like  that.  that's  what  makes  this  work  so  well.  ''  pointing  at  the  no-strings  ,  the  intimate  but  meaningless  nights  spent  together.  their  cheeks  heat  up.  the  conversation  is  getting  a  little  too  deep  to  their  liking.  ''  can  we  just  —  talk  about  stupid  bagels  ,  or  something  ?  ''

          the  bass  of  the  song  blaring  through  club  speakers  drops,  and  suddenly  everything  changes.  if  you  ask  she'll  blame  it  on  the  alcohol,  but  tempting  words  combined  with  intense  gaze  has  charlotte  swallowing  thickly,  wide  eyes  blinking  slowly,  lips  parting  despite  breath  hitching  in  her  throat.    ❛  i  —  ...  ❜    she's  unable  to  finish  her  response  because  ocean  blue  hues  are  half  -  lidded  as  they,  too,  trail  to  the  very  invitingly  soft  lips  of  her  coworker's.  she  doesn't  even  realize  her  hips  have  stopped  swaying  to  the  music  until  someone's  bumping  into  them,  knocking  feet  into  a  slight  stumble  but  able  to  catch  herself  thanks  to  arms  still  perched  on  midas'  shoulders.  the  moment  is  broken.    ❛  i  think  that  bombshell  over  there  is  interested  in  you,  ❜    the  blonde  refers  to  the  similarly  -  looking  and  dressed  femme  at  the  bar  eying  and  smiling  at  her  dance  partner.  she's  probably  also  the  same  perpetrator  of  the  shove  from  earlier,  but  you  can  never  be  too  sure  in  a  drunken  crowd  like  this  one.  hands  turn  the  male  around  to  face  the  other  blonde  at  the  end  of  the  room  as  lips  speak  closely  in  his  ear.    ❛  should  i  play  wingwoman  ?  you  tell  me.  ❜

                                      ''  i'm  going  home.  with  penelope  ,  ''  he  tells  his  colleague.  he's  already  lost  track  of  the  other  girls  from  work.  it's  just  charlotte  that  he  wants  to  know.  ''  don't  miss  me  too  much  ,  alright  ?  and  don't  call  me.  i'll  be  busy  ,  ''  he  tells  her  with  another  wink.

              “  their  stories  .  .  ”  he  hums  ,  turning  back  to  the  paintings  hung  on  the  wall  and  looks  at  them  with  intent  for  the  first  time  since  the  gala  started.  these  were  the  sort  of  questions  he'd  spent  months  preparing  for  ,  an  answer  to  the  one  she  poses  already  rehearsed  and  stored  away  ,  but  leo  doesn't  feel  like  he  wants  to  give  the  woman  a  rehearsed  answer.  “  i  guess  they  all  kinda  share  the  same  story.  i  painted  them  thinking  about  my  mom.  i  paint  most  of  my  pieces  thinking  about  her.  ”  not  much  of  his  late  mother  had  been  said  between  them  ,  or  really  anything  of  her  at  all  since  they'd  met.  leo  realizes  this  ,  letting  her  in  a  little  more  ,  “  she  passed  away  when  i  was  sixteen.  she  was  sick  and  kind  of  left  us  long  before  she  died.  i  paint  from  all  over.  she  left  me  with  a  lot  of  good  memories  ,  ”  a  hand  raises  to  the  painting  on  the  left  ,  before  slowly  drifting  to  the  right  ,  “  but  also  a  lot  of  hard  ones.  ”  his  voice  had  lowered  quite  a  bit  ,  at  some  point  leo  had  leaned  quite  close  into  her  —  it  was  easier  for  him  to  talk  about  than  for  his  father  to  hear.  turning  to  rori  again  ,  he  nods  and  allows  that  same  subtle  smile  from  before.  “  that's  it  ,  really.  sorry  i  didn't  give  the  women  in  the  paintings  any  interesting  stories.  i  usually  leave  that  up  to  people  like  you  who  come  and  see  them  for  the  first  time.  whatever  they  tell  you  when  you  look  at  them  ,  that's  their  story.  ”  a  beat  ,  then  he  laughs.  “  sorry  —  pretentious  yet  ?  ”

                                           she  squeezes  leo's  hand  ,  and  is  usually  not  the  emotional  type  ,  but  finds  herself  leaning  forward  anyway  to  give  him  a  brief  hug.  ''  i'm  sorry.  she  would've  been  very  proud  of  you  ,  too.  ''  a  single  tear  slips  and  falls  down  her  cheek  as  she  places  her  chin  on  his  shoulder  ,  a  hand  rubbing  his  back.  ''  i  may  not  know  much  about  you  ,  but  i  hope  you  know  you're  not  alone  ,  and  that  you  don't  have  to  feel  alone.  ''

THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE (2013)