Jay

being a man named Guy is so funny to me i'm sorry. like your parents took one look at you fresh out of the womb and were like "yeah he sure is"

??? Did it awaken something in them???

I don’t headcanon anything I just know and perceive the truth

babygirl you won't believe the amount of popular things i don't know

being a young millenial/old gen z is like yeah i have phone numbers memorised: my own, my mom’s, and my childhood best friend’s landline which probably has not been in service for 10 years

If I were in the Oregon trail I would have simply worn more coats

Omg i thought this was about worms

Why

Mind your business

feeling unwelcome on my own post

im losing it this just gets funnier the longer you look

every now and then the internet decides it should revamp the ole “stop texting first and see how many friends you lose” when in reality you could literally just communicate that u feel bad that ur the only one texting first

mfs are legit assuming that their friend isnt texting first because of how little they care abt their friendship when in reality they literally just dont know ur upset and didnt realize there was a problem in the first place. just talk to ur friends its not that hard and if they’re a bitch just tell them to kick rocks

girl what the fuck is even the theme of a midsummer night’s dream. is there even a lesson to be learned. is it just vibes or what

puck at the end of the play: god did you see that shit? insane, right? haha alright take it easy

life really is just like. you meet people you love them and then you lose them and you never see them again. and it's inevitable and it happens to everyone and there's nothing you can do about it

what i’d really like is for someone to objectively watch me for a week or so and then just sit down with me for a few hours and explain to me what i am like and how i look to others and what my personality is in detail and how i need to improve where do i sign up for that

“i don’t understand how you just get so much stuff done under pressure and like don’t freak out” i just go into autopilot bro like i genuinely do not know what happens in high volume situations. i let my body deal with that shit. not for me

if you completely block off a whole portion of your mind you’ll find that it is actually quite peaceful and you can move very fast, almost ungodly so, and achieve a lot while feeling absolutely nothing