Happiness Is A Butterfly

Holding in my emotions always lead to mental torture and unprecedented outbursts. But now I speak out about my feelings in a way that is healthy. Even so, my boyfriend isn’t able to talk about it with me.

When I talk about things that happened that hurt me he gets worked up. I spend more time thinking about what I could do to console him and never actually talking about how I feel. Therefore, never solving the issue and just actually causing more harm than good.

If I am hurt and carry on, then why bring up what hurt me if it will hurt other people too?

I need help but I can’t ask for it. Can’t eat because I feel sick. Trying not to think because at any and all moments I am about to break down.

The only person I thought really loved me actually can’t stand me.