Ordered Chaos to Start the Day

((overlay resources by @octomoosey​))

“Har har, smart ass.” She clenched her metal fist in front of his face, though she didn’t mean anything by it. “I dunno... maybe... act more grateful for stuff I get you, then? I know you’re not all big on the touchy feely stuff... but it feels nice. Knowing you give a shit.”

“I mean... have you looked at them? You’re buff, but you’re not that buff. And maybe once every two weeks? I’d say less if we didn’t live out in all this sand, but you seem to like it out here.”

Gaige shrugged again. “Maybe? Though I think I would’ve gotten sick too if I did. ‘less you ate something somewhere else without me? I dunno, I’m not your babysitter.” Despite her current predicament of taking care of him. “Maybe he’s a fake but he’s the best we got around here. Unless you trust one of the psychos to diagnose you.” At least the ice cream was strawberry flavour.

“Not a surgeon? You forget I gave myself a prosthetic already? Installed it myself?” Gaige reached over to tap on the middle of his forehead. “And maybe not, I’ve gotten you pretty hammered a few times. You sleep pretty soundly when you have enough alcohol in you.”

“What haven’t I been in today? Your truck needed servicing, DeathTrap needs a new arm, generator’s almost on its last legs... I wish I could teach you this shit so you could help me with some of it.”

“That’s... different. Beer gets me drunk. Pickles give me the shits.” “I... it’s hard to keep track of time around here, what with the days being how they are. But it’s not bad. I just... don’t know why you’re always surprised by me gifting you things. Unless you want me to stop cuz it makes you feel weird...?”

“I’m not no doctor, but maybe you got food poisoning? I could go get Zed if you don’t trust my diagnosing skills.” Gaige shrugged and spooned some ice cream towards his face. “I won’t hold it against you if you do puke on me.”

“I mean, Krieg and Brick are both stronger than you and they’re... they’re bandits, right? I guess?” Gaige shrugged as she gently tapped on different parts of his leg to listen out for something. “I’m just trying to figure out how well you’re taking care of it is all. Cuz it’s going to work against you if it’s not and not feel right.” She pulled the pants leg a little higher to check the connection to the leg.

“Kinda? Who wants to eat something that’s been sitting in vinegar for months? That shit is gross. And I’ve been doing this shit for years now. Made you that jacuzzi, fixed up that Loader truck for you, took you to that concert and everything. How many more I gotta do before... you know?”

“I mean, I could argue, but your ego bruises too easily and then you’d sulk in a corner and the cuddling would end. So let’s say sure. For now.” Gaige rolled over on his lap to pull up his pant leg and get a cursory look. “When’s the last time you lubed it?”

“Saved your ass plenty of times, didn’t I?” Gaige waved her arm around for effect. “And that’s not the word I’d use. You’re more... mosh-house grunge. And it needed cleaning. Again.”

“Do I have to remind you how much my arm weighs?” To make her point, she detached it and dropped it onto his lap, wiggling her stump. “Aah, much better. You sure you don’t want me to take a look at your leg?”

“Nah. You being the way you are means I don’t have to try as hard to act all civilized and polite, y’know?” There was no keeping up appearances around him, and that made it much easier for Gaige to figure out what kind of person she was and what she wanted out of life. “I believe you. About the not going anywhere.” Her mouth twisted to one side as she pressed her fist to his chin. “Cuz ain’t nowhere you can go where I can’t find you. On account of that chip I put in you.” She tapped on the side of his head, wondering if he would figure out she was lying.

“Speak for yourself, I’m a fucking angel, you shit.” Gaige booped him on the nose with the cybernetic arm she held in her other hand. “And who called you handsome?”