dear universe

It became normal for him. He heard the words that other people would throw around, how they would talk about how dangerous, how disgusting two men together was. But he couldn't understand why people thought so badly about it. Because Hank and Joe were so happy together and they weren't hurting anyone.

When he was twelve, they were the first people he told when he had the conflicting feelings of having a crush on a pretty girl named Annika in the grade above, but also really wanting to kiss Tommy every time the other boy laughed at one of his jokes. Joe and Hank just listened to him, then taught him about bisexuality. That it was perfectly normal to like both. They gave him gentle warnings, that he would have to be careful because people were cruel.

And because his parents had left him with them for a couple of weeks, they took advantage of it to introduce Steve to other people. They took him to a tiny queer bookshop that was run by a friend of theirs, giving him a space to learn in safety. Because of them, he met people of so many different orientations lesbians, bisexuals, gay men. Self-proclaimed dykes and faggots. Transexuals, men who were once women and women who were once men¹ and people that pushed the boundaries of gender entirely. He felt in awe of all these people, but also loved and accepted by everyone he met.

A few years later, the summer of '82, age 15 and between freshman and sophomore year, he was sat down for a more serious conversation. The day after he arrived, Hank and Joe sat him down for a serious talk about safe sex, in way more detail than what he got from his parents, which was just a pack of condoms appearing in his bathroom on his fifteenth birthday, with a note saying to use them so he wouldn't get a girl pregnant. The talk emphasized the need for a barrier during any type of sex, and brought up the very real risk of GRID, which had yet to be renamed AIDS², to point out why he had to be incredibly careful with everyone he had sex with. But they also made a point to reassure him that they were both okay, that he didn't have to worry about them. They made sure that he knew that they were always there for him, just a phone call away if he ever had any concerns or questions.

A year later, at 16, they decided he was ready for more information. They provided him with pamphlets and zines, covering everything from rights movements to AIDS to secret codes. He took an interest in the hanky code, but felt a little intimidated about what some of the colors meant. They also provided him with a fake id that declared that he was twenty one and that his name was Mark. While he was staying with them, he joined them out in the community. Meeting the people affected by AIDS, learning about the real effects of it and not just the few scare stories that were breaking through on the news. Hearing more stories of lived life, getting a better understanding of the people around him.

Just a few months later, November '83. When everything went to shit. Steve was terrified when he saw the photos Jonathan had taken from outside his house and developed in the school dark room. He couldn't help getting stuck on the what if? What if it wasn't Nancy he had in his room? What if it had been that night when he and Tommy got a little too drunk and kissed each other? What if he'd finally got the nerve to bring a guy home? His life could have been destroyed in seconds by an asshole being a creep.

He became more on guard, scared that at any point someone could be taking photos in his backyard. Then seeing Jonathan with Nancy in her room, it pushed him further. With the fight the next day, he just wanted to make his words hurt. He dug deep and threw out accusations that he'd never wanted to say. Allowing his anger and fear to take over. The moment the word queer left his mouth, he felt an uneasy sense of regret. Accusing someone else of being what he was, as if it was a bad thing.

After it was all over, the details were shared, the cover stories were given, the paperwork declaring that nothing had happened had been signed, Steve felt lost and alone. Even after apologizing, he still felt dirty for calling Jonathan queer. After a few days, he breaks and calls Hank and Joe, and tells them, well not everything, but what he can. The photos, the camera, the fight. What he said to Jonathan. They understood his anger and his fear. They disagreed with his choice of words, but told him that if he'd apologized and meant it, and it had been accepted, there was no point in him continuing to beat himself up about it. That he couldn't change the past, but he had to try and be better in the future.

The following summer, 1984, he joined them with a new hatred and fear of the government. He felt safer with them, not feeling like he was looking over his shoulder all the time. But he was also so worried, what if the Upside Down came back when he wasn't there to help. He threw himself into helping others, knowing there were so many ways that the government was willing to screw over citizens. Wanting to do the little he could when he could. It brought him some peace of mind, being able to do something.

After Starcourt, after getting discharged from the hospital, Steve confides in Robin. He tells her about Hank and Joe. About how much he'd learnt from them. He tells her that he's bisexual, a word she was unfamiliar with, but she embraces him anyway. He spins a story of all the different people he'd met, people that proved it could be okay for people like them.

It formed an even deeper bond between them, a shared understanding that they couldn't find in anyone else their age. They share secrets about crushes, about realizations. Judging how attractive customers are together once they got the jobs at Family Video. Steve showed Robin the zines, helping her pick up more pieces of information, about how many others there were out there.

Steve clocked Vickie pretty quickly, almost certain she was bisexual like he was. Robin struggled to believe him, not wanting to get her hopes up, or to risk getting hurt.

When Eddie crashed into their lives during the spring break from hell, Steve found himself falling hard and fast. He'd noticed the black bandana Eddie wore tucked into his back left pocket, and wanted it. He had never considered being into s&m, but would be willing to take anything Eddie gave him.

He tried to bring it up subtly to Eddie, only to be met with confusion. Even trying less subtle ways of questioning it, Eddie still didn't seem to get it. Steve had to ask if he was flagging, and Eddie responded by asking what flagging was. Steve felt mortified, and stuttered about it being a code, and he thought Eddie was gay. Eddie assured him that he was gay, but still had no clue what Steve was talking about with flagging.

Steve showed Eddie the zines as well, going through all the different colors of the hanky code. Eddie got a little embarrassed when he realized what he'd been signalling, but some of the interactions he'd had with guys the few times he'd been to a gay bar made a lot more sense.

It took a few more days after that for Eddie to realize what Steve had been getting at by bringing up him flagging. There was another awkward, and slightly embarrassing conversation to confirm that yes, they were into each other, and no, neither of them were actually into s&m.

(And of course, Hank and Joe got a kick out of the story when they were the first ones Steve told, other than Robin.)

¹I wrote it this way, as it would have been a way that twelve year old could understand different gender identities in 1979. Different language and terminology was used. I believe that it is up to individual trans people for how they describe and consider themselves pre and post coming out and transition, as it is a very personal thing. I'm non-binary and I consider anything about myself under the age of 17 to be a girl, because that's how I identified at that time. ²(AIDS was known by a bunch of different names, some less kind than others, including GRID [Gay-related immune deficiency] and 4H disease [Heroin users, homosexuals, hemophiliacs and Haitians], until the summer of 1982. The name AIDS was proposed on July 27th 1982, and came into use by the CDC in September of that year. The term HIV came into use in 1986.)

--

Vecna's getting irritated, to say the least. He needs to find a way to get rid of this Steve character if he hopes to take over Hawkins. Obviously the blunt force approach isn't working. Vecna decides to switch tactics. He needs to be more subtle. Steve, apparently, is known for chasing after a pretty face. Vecna sends in his favorite servant, Eddie, who is a quick thinker and quite charming when he wants to be.

Eddie hates Vecna. Hates all the terror and pain he sows; hates his senseless cruelty. But he hasn't a choice, so off to Hawkins he goes to find this hero guy. He figures the best way to track him down is to lure him. He's always wanted to play damsel-in-distress and Vecna's recently created humanoid monster Billy is chomping at the bit to see some action.

Of course Billy is too new and too stupid to know what "acting" was, so he does not hold back when he grabs Eddie by the hair and snarls in his face. Eddie yelps and cusses a storm.

"Get your fucking hands off me, you stupid asshole."

Billy, stupid empty-headed Billy, stares at Eddie. His other hand curls around the side of Eddie's neck and yanks him close.

"Pretty," Billy growls. Eddie feels the bottom drop out of his stomach and begins to struggle in earnest. He had not planned for this turn of events. The hand Billy has in Eddie's hair tightens as his other trails down his neck to paw clumsily at whatever other part of Eddie he can reach.

"Hey! Dickhead!"

Billy turns around to see who shouted at him and gets hit with a well aimed stone right in the forehead. He drops Eddie as he staggers back with a grunt. Eddie lands roughly but scrambles away quickly enough as whoever threw the rock charges past him to tackle a dazed Billy to the ground.

Eddie gingerly picks himself off the ground, grimacing at the scrapes on his palms. The sound of fighting continues behind him so Eddie takes the time to tie back his hair. Assuming the guy fighting Billy is the hero Vecna sent him after, he wants to look presentable. For a given value of presentable, anyway. He aggravates his scrapes on accident when he scrubs his palms against his jeans out of nervous habit. He hisses.

"Are you okay?"

Eddie whirls around to see what must be the most beautiful man in the entire world. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern but it does nothing to diminish the warmth in his brown eyes. Damn Vecna and his schemes. He could've warned Eddie how gorgeous his target was.

"Fine. All fine," Eddie blurts out like an idiot.

"You're bleeding," Handsome Hero Guy says, reaching out to grab Eddie's hands. Eddie lets him hold his hands for just a moment before yanking them away and taking a skip back.

"Woah-ho, watch it there, wonder boy! Hands off the goods," Eddie smiles teasingly. "What, you see one guy get handsy and think I let all the boys have at me?"

Handsome Hero Guy's eyes widen, mouth (such a pretty mouth, too, fuck) dropping open in shock.

"N-no!" (Aww, he's blushing. Eddie's heart skips a beat.) "I wouldn't--It didn't look like you wanted that guy on you. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"My hero," Eddie flutters his lashes. The guy's answering smile is bashful. Eddie wants to eat him up.

"Wouldn't go that far," Handsome Hero Guy mumbles.

"I'll be the judge of that, wonder boy. Muscles like that? Showing up out of nowhere to protect my admittedly ragged virtue? That's definitely hero work."

"It really isn't that big a deal," he insists. "Anyone would've done the same."

"You'd be surprised," Eddie feels his smile turn slightly bitter at the edges before cranking up the charm again. "So do I get to know my hero's name or do I have to guess? Wonder boy seems to fit."

"Oh, uh, no. I'm Steve."

"Mmm, hi Stevie. I'm Kas."

--

Steve's in love. Kas is perfect. He's loud and wild and passionate. He can talk for hours about anything that interests him and yet still listen so intently whenever Steve speaks. His smile is always full of mischief and his big brown doe eyes make Steve weak in the knees when they focus on him alone.

"I think maybe you're rushing in to this, Steve," Robin tells him, a couple weeks after his fateful meeting with Kas. "I mean, what do you really know about the guy?"

"I know enough," Steve protests. "He loves metal music and, like, nerdy role playing games with dice. He can play guitar and he loves strawberry ice cream. And he has the best laugh." Steve can't quite smother a smitten sigh.

"Yeah, but where's he from? He's not local. Who are his friends? Nobody seems to know him!" Robin starts to pace the way she does whenever she's worrying over something. It makes Steve pause.

"Being new in town isn't a bad thing, Rob."

"No, but it's pretty sketchy timing, don't you think? We get all these monsters, half the town moves away because of it, and suddenly there's a new face in town? Someone who looks like he was tailor made for you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Now Steve's getting defensive. Robin's always been better at looking at the big picture but usually she trusts Steve's judgement when it comes to people.

"C'mon, Steve! The eyes? The hair? And he's, like, witty or smart or whatever. He couldn't be more your type if he tried!" Robin throws her hands up in frustration and Steve's had enough.

"I thought you'd be happy for me," Steve says flatly. "I finally found someone. After the whole thing with Nancy, I didn't think I ever would."

"I am! I am happy for you, Steve," Robin sighs. "I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"Kas wouldn't hurt me. He's a good guy, Robin. Trust me. He's the best."

Steve is grateful, later, that Robin loves him enough to not tell him 'I told you so.'

--

Eddie had been worried at first. Steve is amazing. 'Wonder boy' really does fit him because Steve is wonderful, and not just because of his super strong muscles and distractingly hairy chest. Steve loves his friends without reservation; he wears his feelings like a coat of many colors, out in the open and inviting everyone to admire them.

Eddie hasn't had friends a very long time. He had to leave them behind after he went to Vecna. He didn't want to risk them getting hurt because of him. And afterwards, it was easier to keep people at a distance. So he was worried about getting so close to Steve, wonderful Stevie.

But Steve was invulnerable! He was strong enough to take down monsters, sure, but he couldn't be wounded at all! Eddie is going to be able to report to Vecna, fully confident, because Vecna would never be able to hurt Steve anyway.

Eddie tosses up the misshapen d20 Steve had carved just for him and catches it. He continues to do this as he smirks at Vecna, just to rub it in Vecna's ugly slimy face. "So, you see? You're not gonna win this time, V-man. Steve has no weaknesses for you to exploit."

Vecna snags the d20 out of midair. It cracks and splinters in his grip, to Eddie's dismay.

"I think you'll find, Eddie," Vecna leans into his space, and in a mockingly sweet gesture trails his gross slick fingers along Eddie's cheek bone and tucks a loose curl behind Eddie's ear, "that he does. He very much does. And I'm going to use it to bring him to his knees."

With that, he yanks Eddie by the hair and binds him.

--

Steve's eyes linger on Kas--no, Eddie, who was a spy, who worked with Vecna all this time--where he lay prone and struggling against Vecna's disgusting vines holding him down. Eddie is trying to say something, but it's too muffled by the vines for Steve to understand. He can tell Eddie is scared, though. Scared and desperate.

Steve never considered himself a smart guy. He knew was always too willing to give his heart away. This guaranteed two things. One, he was not gonna be able to out-think a way out of Vecna's plan. Two, there was no way he'd let the man he loved suffer. Regardless of what Eddie did or did not do, he didn't deserve whatever Vecna would do to him.

Steve takes a deep breath and turns to Vecna.

"If I do this, you promise to let him go?"

"Of course."

"Like, for real. He'll be free from you?"

"As I said."

"And he'll be safe? You promise he won't get hurt while I'm not able to protect him?"

"Eddie betrayed you, Steve. He used you and gave me everything I asked for. Why do you care if he gets hurt, after all that?"

Steve scowls. "You don't get it. Guys like you never do. And why do you care what I use my side of the bargain for? You're getting what you want."

"I am," Vecna says smugly.

"So we got a deal or what? I give up my powers and leave you alone for 24 hours; you free Eddie and promise he won't get hurt?"

"We have an accord." Vecna reaches out to shake his hand.

Steve screams in agony the minute their hands touch. It feels like every nerve ending in his body was set on fire. He falls to his knees, weakly tugging his hand but he isn't able to take it back until Vecna himself decides to let go.

Vecna disappears and Steve hears Eddie cry out his name before he passes out.

--

Steve is taking great satisfaction from beating Vecna's face in. Or he was until Vecna starts laughing.

"What's so funny, asshole?" Steve snarls. "You lost."

"Yes," Vecna coughs. "Aren't you curious as to why?"

"Because I fucking beat the shit out of you," Steve snaps as Vecna continues to laugh at him.

"It hasn't been 24 hours, Steve," Vecna grins, bloody. At Steve's perplexed expression, he adds, "I thought Eddie would've picked someone smarter."

Steve's blood turns to ice.

"Where's Eddie? What did you do to him?" Steve shakes Vecna.

"I didn't do anything to him. He was protecting your dear Robin. He's in my domain now. No human survives the Upside Down for long."

Steve hits him twice more for good measure, knocking the bastard out. Then, the moment Hop's got him locked down, Steve books it to the nearest portal before anyone could stop him.

--

Eddie wakes slowly in an unfamiliar bed with no idea how he got there. There's a hand gently running through his hair. Eddie blinks blearily at its owner.

"...Steve?" he rasps.

"Kas!" Steve responds. Eddie flinches as the lies he told come back to him. Steve must have seen it, because in a softer tone he says, "Eddie."

And god damn Steve made his name sound beautiful. He thought he'd never hear him say it, not when he was Kas, the spy, the fucking betrayer. He hurt Steve, and everyone Steve loved. Dustin, Nancy, Robin...wait.

Eddie immediately starts to struggle into a sitting position, but Steve keeps a firm hand pressed down on his chest. "Eddie, wait, what are you--"

"Robin," Eddie gasps out, desperate. He'd broken Steve's heart once already, and betrayed his trust. He couldn't bear it if Steve lost Robin, too, and Robin deserved so much better than whatever Vecna's monsters would do to her. "Robin...needs..."

"Shh, it's okay, Eddie. Robin is fine. You saved her, she's okay."

That didn't make sense. If he managed to save Robin then Eddie wouldn't be here at all. He'd be drained to a husk in the Upside Down. So what...? His confusion must have shown on his face because Steve's face went soft.

"I wouldn't leave you down there, Eddie," Steve says gently. Eddie felt a lump in his throat because he should have. Steve had every right to have left him there to rot.

"But I...why would you do that? After I...?" There's a burning in his eyes, and Eddie desperately blinks back tears.

"I know now, why you did it. I don't blame you. I mean, god, your uncle's all you got. You told me yourself."

"You know?" Eddie interrupts. "About the bargain with Vecna?"

"To save your uncle's life? Yeah. El pulled it out of Vecna after sealing his powers away. He tried to use it as a reason to keep his powers, but it turns out taking his powers away doesn't negate what he did to save your uncle."

"Oh," Eddie says in wonder. "If Vecna's defeated, then...I'm free?"

Steve smiles his lovely sunshine smile that makes Eddie melt every time. "Yeah, you're free. You don't have to do anything he says ever again."

Steve stops and fidgets awkwardly for a moment.

"What?" Eddie prods. Steve grimaces.

"I'm just sorry. Sorry that he made you...seduce me, or whatever. I'd never have--I touched you all the time! And kissed you! And you had to just...take it. Fuck, I'm still doing it now," Steve pulls his hands away and goes so far as to scoot farther away from the bed where Eddie lays. "Sorry. Sorry, I know you don't--I know it was fake."

Steve's voice gets wobbly at the end, and his eyes were kept firmly down in embarrassment. He sniffs and forces an awkward chuckle.

"I must've been such an easy mark for you, huh? Fell for you so fast. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable with...with everything."

Eddie rubs his palms on his thighs nervously. Steve doesn't reach out. He doesn't look at Eddie. Eddie's heart is full of messy feelings. He doesn't know what to do or what to say, but he knows he wants to wipe that heartbreak from Steve's face. And he wants to love Steve the way Steve deserves to be loved.

With a wince, Eddie pushes himself up to a sitting position despite Steve's protest and hovering hands. Then he leans forward to grab Steve's hand in a firm handhold.

"Hi," he says, looking into Steve's widened eyes. "My name's Eddie."

There's a beat where Steve stares at him in confusion. Then realization seems to hit, and a cautious smile hooks the corner of his mouth.

"Hey, Eddie," Steve says shyly. "I'm Steve."

"I'm kind of caught up in something at the moment, Steve," Eddie says, gesturing at the healing room with his free hand. "But I'd love to take you out to dinner sometime. Hopefully soon?"

Steve lets out a disbelieving chuckle. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, Eddie, I'd like that a lot."

Dustin suggested a god of knowledge, Clarke, who blessed and guided those with curiosity, imagination, and a knack for invention. Steve shot that one down immediately. He was never one to be overly imaginative or curious; he preferred to deal with concrete things. Out of their quickly dwindling list, Robin reluctantly suggested Hargrove, a war god favored by a nearby kingdom, but if Carver was ill-fitting, then Hargrove was outright repellent to Steve.

"C'mon, Steve, you gotta pick someone!" Dustin huffed in frustration. 

Robin thunked her head against the table in the library where they were looking up deities. She was obviously at her wit's end too. Steve, however, just dug his heels in with a particularly stubborn scowl.

"I can't just pick anyone!" Steve said. "If I'm going to pledge my sword to someone, it has to be someone...someone good. Someone that, I don't know, someone I can believe in, even when--no especially when things go wrong. That’s the whole point!"

"Yeah, I get that," Robin sighed, a mix of fond and annoyed, "but this is the eighth book we've gone through and the only one left here is called the King of Darkness which is hardly going to--huh."

Robin paused mid-rant to look at the page more closely. Steve and Dustin both huddled around her to peek into the book as well. Dustin also made a sound of curiosity.

"That's weird," Dustin said.

"Right?" Robin asked enthusiastically.

"What? What's weird?" Steve didn't get what caught their attention.

"This god only has a couple of sentences," Dustin explained, "And they don't really make sense. Something about dark creatures and the undeserving? The grammar and structure is all weird though."

"It looks like a half-assed translation," Robin added with a nod. "We should find the original text."

"Yeah! And if we can make a better translation, we could get it added to the next edition and they'd have to put our names on the book," Dustin said excitedly. Robin's eyes lit up at the thought and they both rushed off to the stacks to track down any original sources.

"Guys! Guys, what about my..."

The librarian hushed Steve, irritated. Steve groaned in defeat.

"...godly choices. Yeah, fine," Steve slumped back on his seat. "I need to find non-nerd friends."

Two days later, Robin and Dustin finished translating a slim, dusty book. They were nearly vibrating in their seats as Steve reviewed their notes on what they found. Dustin gripped his arm and gave him a shake.

"So? What do you think?" he asked excitedly.

Robin slung her arm across Steve's shoulders. With more tenderness than Steve expected, she said, "I know it doesn't seem like it, he doesn't really fit with your whole style, but it could work."

"Yeah," Steve said with a hopeful smile. "Yeah, this feels right."

--

It took longer than Steve would've liked, but eventually he managed to track down a small, crumbling shrine. It was an alcove carved near the entrance--no more than a crack in the stone really--of a cave at the edge of a lush forest. He almost missed it, it was so drowned in overgrown crawling vines and weeds. It bore a modest statue, no bigger than Steve, standing atop an equally modest plinth. There was a spot that obviously held a plaque once, but it must’ve been dug out by thieves at some point.

The sight of it made something in Steve's chest twinge; a strange pang of melancholy at seeing a god so forgotten and abandoned. It surprised him as he had never been particularly religious, but there was just something about this one that drew him in.

It was the middle of the day, so Steve quickly made camp and took advantage of the light to begin clearing the shrine. He started where the plaque had been, scrubbing off the dirt and moss that had filled the indentation. He knew a good smith; he could commission a new plaque to be made. After that, he weeded the immediate area around the plinth where worshipers would typically lay their offerings and pray.

By the time he finished that, it was late afternoon and he decided that was good enough for today. He had to eat and get a few hours of sleep so he could be alert once night fell. When he curled up on his bedroll, he couldn't help the grin that spread on his face. He was going to offer himself to his god tonight, and with any luck, his god would accept him.

--

He woke to a multitude of high pitched squeaks and the sound of many, many flapping wings. The sun had just fully set, and the stars that could be seen through the canopy burned brightly. Steve took his time to fasten on his armor and scabbard properly, and fixed his hair so not a strand was out of place. He took a few deep breaths to calm an unexpected bout of nerves before going to the shrine and kneeling.

His god had no official prayers. Or rather, the prayers for his god were forgotten. Robin and Dustin did their best to find anything prayer-like but it had been in vain. They suspected that most of the god's holy items and lore were purposely lost. Lacking that, Steve decided it was best that he introduce himself.

"Um, hi," he started and immediately winced. "Sorry. I'm not used to...this. I couldn't find any of your…holy words? Prayers? The right ways to speak to you, I guess.

"I'm Steve. Steve Harrington. I'm a fighter. I finished my training a few weeks back. I was the top of my cohort when it came to combat. I'm good with my sword and I know how to take a hit. I can turn just about anything into a weapon if it's needed."

Here Steve paused for a moment, straining to hear but there was nothing other than the typical sounds of a night out in the woods. Steve took a breath and plowed forward.

"I want to be more than a fighter, though. I don't want to just wave a sword around for nothing. I want it to...to matter. So I spent a lot of time trying to decide who to wield my sword for. It took me a while, but I found you. I want to be your shield and sword, if you'll have me."

Steve stopped again to listen. Nothing. Robin warned him this might happen. Gods didn't always accept warriors who offered themselves to them, and forgotten gods weren't always reachable. It was fine, though; he’d try again tomorrow night. Steve turned in just before dawn, eager for night again.

--

Steve worked on clearing the vines tangled around the statue's legs and feet. He yanked out the thick, scraggly vines, and carefully picked apart the prickling thorny ones. There was a particular gnarl of vines that didn't seem like they had a stranglehold on his god's statue. They were healthy and strong, and the way they curled and grew looked more like a caress than an invasion. He decided to leave those on, though he gently rearranged them while removing the more invasive vines so they looked more decorative.

When night arrived with the sound of squeaks and wings, Steve went to kneel at the shrine. He introduced himself again, gave the same spiel as the night before. Still he heard nothing. He scratched the back of his neck in mild insecurity.

“I guess I should tell you I didn’t find you on my own. My friends Robin and Dustin helped me. They’re way smarter than me, you know? Total nerds. I can swing a sword like nothing, but books and research? Yeah, that never works out for me, so they helped me look up all sorts of gods.

“There’s a lot of them. Way more than I thought. Dustin and Robin both recommended me ones or vetoed others. They were getting frustrated with me because I kept rejecting the ones they gave me. 

“Then Robin found you. Kind of by accident, to be honest. But she did her research thing and I knew that I wanted to carry your symbol. It took me forever to find this shrine. Robin said this was probably the only shrine you had left, so I had to find it. 

“Dustin kept saying it was on the other side of the forest, but obviously he was wrong. Not that he’ll ever admit it, the little shit, but whatever. I’m sorry your shrine was abandoned like this, but I promise I’ll fix it up. I’m good with my hands, I can do it.”

There was no response to his admittedly disorganized ramble. It was fine, he told himself. He needed to be patient. He’d come back the next night.

–

Around the statue’s waist there was another tangled mess of vines, except these vines had died and rotted to dark sludge. There was fungus growing on it, and it reeked. It was gross. Steve scrubbed at it for hours because the rot had stained the stone. He was able to get rid of the rot and most of the stains before going to catch a few hours of sleep in the afternoon.

Night fell and Steve was kneeling for the third time. He repeated most of what he said the previous two nights. There was still no response. He thought maybe he was pushing too hard. He’d never been the super talkative type anyway. He could share the quiet night with his god, if that was what his god wanted.

A few hours passed when he was startled out of his near meditative state by the sound of snapping twigs. He leapt to his feet, hand on his scabbard. Someone–a man by the look of it–stumbled out of the woods. He was pale and dark haired, dressed in ragged clothes that were probably awful even when they were new. He looked like a vagabond. 

Steve stepped in front of the shrine, protectively. The stranger grinned at him and Steve could already tell he was not going to enjoy the conversation that was about to happen.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” Steve asked firmly, cutting the man off before he could speak. The smile only grew wider.

“I could ask you the same thing, sir,” the man said, adopting the annoyed huff of a wealthy lord. Steve scowled.

“I asked first.”

“I asked second!”

“You didn’t ask me anything,” Steve responded, somewhat smug. The man paused and then snorted a laugh.

“Yeah, okay.” He raised his hands in mock surrender. “You got me.”

“So?”

“So what?”

“What are you doing here? Who are you?” Steve repeated shortly. The teasing grin was back, and Steve felt his scowl deepen.

“Nothing and no one, m’lord,” the man bows mockingly.

“I’m not a lord.”

“Huh. Could’ve fooled me. You’re certainly as demanding as any lord I’ve ever met.”

“Oh fuck you,” Steve snapped. “I’m a holy warrior.”

The man laughed at him outright.

“Well that doesn’t sound very holy warrior-ish. Are your type allowed to swear?”

Steve grinded his teeth and decided it was not worth it to continue this conversation for much longer.

“Look, if you’re here to steal, I’ve got nothing on me.”

“That’s exactly what someone with something to steal would say.”

“Well, I don’t! I’m on a pilgrimage and I don’t want to spill blood on holy ground. So.” Steve wrapped a hand around the hilt of his sword. “Leave. Please.”

“Holy ground? Here?” the man barks out a laugh. “Don’t you know what this place is?”

“Yes,” Steve says shortly, placing himself more firmly between the shrine and the man. “Please leave. There shouldn’t be violence done here.”

“Oh, it’s far too late for that. This place used to belong to the King of Darkness. It’s said he was so evil that nothing grew here until he was run out and defeated by the god of righteousness. You know the one. Really plays up the holier than thou thing by making his hair all gold and glowy? Gotta say, you could give him a run for his money though.”

“You’re wrong.”

“No really! Your hair is great. Way better than Carver, even with the glowy thing.” 

“Not that!” Steve said in frustration. This guy really liked the sound of his own voice and Steve was starting to get a headache. It was near dawn and all he wanted was to spend the last hour or so in the quiet night with his god.

“So you agree your hair is better than a god’s?” The man tsks at him. “That’s pretty blasphemous. Are you sure you’re a holy warrior?”

“No! I mean, yes. Wait,” Steve growls at his own bumbling. “No, I’m not better than any god. But I am a holy warrior. Kind of.”

“Kind of.”

“Look, I’m working on it so I need you to leave. You’ve insulted him enough already.”

“Your god is the King of Dark–”

“Call him that again, and I will draw my sword,” Steve said, voice steely. “He’s the Lord of Night, and I won’t let you insult him at his own shrine.”

The man goes quiet for the first time since he showed up. He looked almost surprised, his mocking grin gone. His eyes flicked over to the dilapidated statue and then back at Steve.

“Lord of Night doesn’t sound much different than what I called him,” the man said lightly.

“Well, it is,” Steve told him. “Now, will you please leave?”

The man stared at him for a moment before shrugging. “Yeah, alright.” And then he left as suddenly as he had arrived.

The tension that had built up in Steve’s shoulders drained away. He went back to kneel in front of the shrine again when he noticed the barest hint of sunrise on the horizon. He cursed under his breath then was hit with a wave of embarrassment at cursing in front of the shrine and the whole situation that had transpired.

“I’m sorry about that,” Steve said, abashed. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”

–