Paris interview 2012

the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression

#this enrages me every time i see it for the simple fact that john mulaney would have been 15 when princess diana died #which begs the question #if he’s lying #does that mean he did it?

fuck that id grow another arm so I can jerk off while playing Assassins Creed Brother Hood

Is it too late to change my answer

There’s like a 65% chance that Walt Disney has busted a nut at Disneyland.

He had his own personal apartment there so what you think the man gonna do when he got a moment? 

madame, might i get some seratonin? *the maid cafe waitress in my brain ignores me*

Millennials are going to kill the telemarketing and phone scam industries because I don’t know about y'all but I don’t even answer the phone for my own mother, if you need me you’re texting me

The most horrifying moment in high school was when the boy I liked asked me if I was seeing anyone and I said, “no, why?” And he said, “Idk I just really think it would help if u saw like a therapist or something like that”

when ur not really happy but not sad either ur just……… voiding around