Winter Phoenix

Draft

When people ask my age I have to stop myself from saying "17." I never thought I would make it to 18. Not by choice. I've aged far past that 17. But my brain hasn't let go of the fear of never reaching 18

me fighting to exist

Learn from your mistakes and just try to do your best and be happy. If your not that ”fun outgoing” person it's okay. Just be you and you'll find friends. If you Dont find friends right away join a club or something.

The one thing I've feared the most might actually be happening. I just hope I get all the information i need at the doctors appointment tomorrow. If not I feel like my anxiety his gonna drive me insane.

I don't get it. I don't know what I've done to deserve this. I'm starting to think I should have sent out those "seven years of bad luck chain letters" we used to text each other in middle school. If I would have only knew it would get this bad. My "best friend" picked her abusive ex over me. My mother doesn't understand why I'm depressed. I'm so scared my stalker will pop back up that getting a phone call from an unknown number gives me anxiety. Oh and let's not forget that one time I was sexually assaulted by "friend" was just thrown at me as me being a hoe. The best part about all of this is my birthday is tomorrow. I by no means hate my life. And I'm thankful for all that I do have but I would just like to have a birthday where people put me first without making me feel like shit.