I'm trying my best

been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

Please keep making art. Please make it for yourself. Please don’t let everything become even more of the same flat general appeal nonsense that doesn’t seem to have anything to say

Being a lesbian fujoshi is such a labyrinth. I want to see these men work through internalised homophobia in a way that distances me from gender violence. I want to see violence done to them with the thematic catharsis that has been used to excuse the artistic objectification of women's bodies in media. I want tenderness that transgresses the confines of masculinity. I want to wear the suit of their masculinity and all the romantic transgression that allows. I want stories without people like me in them, which are absolutely about people like me. I did not ask for the vocabulary of someone who loves men, but I have it. I did not ask for a barometer which determines abstract male attractiveness, but I have it. I came into my queerness by hiding behind beautiful boys so I could talk about queer love with other queer girls on the internet. With all the misogyny and fetishisation that implies.

I actually really like the term genderqueer, because the only thing it specifies about your gender is that it's queer in some way. Does that mean you're nonbinary? Binary trans? Cis with some freaky cool gender presentation stuff going on? None of those or all of those? It doesn't matter and I think that's beautiful.