winter is upon us (ap)

This is the first in a short painting series based on fantasy class archetypes. I’ll have prints with me at my NYCC artist alley table G4! Process is up for Patreon rewards for last month.

if I had a heart I could love you if I had a voice I would sing

❛ A shrink at school says I’m one of God’s mistakes. ❜ ❛ Ain’t you the queen of silver linings! ❜ ❛ All teenagers are sex addicts. ❜ ❛ Alright shithead, this is like the two hundredth time I’m calling and you not picking up. I’m starting to get fucking homicidal. Call me the fuck back. I’m worried about you. I love you. Call me back. ❜ ❛ Alright, you gotta get me out of this car. I’m getting too horned up. ❜ ❛ An accident? Where his penis just slipped into your vagina? ❜ ❛ Another word and I’ll blow your brains all over the fucking linoleum. ❜ ❛ Are you going to leave? ❜ ❛ Choose a gender and find someone who wants to fuck. Preferably for free. ❜ ❛ Christ, I am tired of being poor. ❜ ❛ Circle doesn’t start with ‘s’? What the fuck? ❜ ❛ Come here. Get in my forcefield. ❜ ❛ Did the two of us finish off an entire gallon of box wine the other night? ❜ ❛ Did you purposely order a Sex on the Beach so I’d say it to the gay bartender? ❜ ❛ Do whatever the fuck you need to do. I’ve got this. ❜ ❛ Does he get that look in his eye when he’s with you? ❜ ❛ Does she make you happy or is it just about the sex? ❜ ❛ Eat my ass! ❜ ❛ Everybody always leaves. ❜ ❛ Front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended. ❜ ❛ Happy is overrated. Grow up. ❜ ❛ I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is ‘fuck you.’ ❜ ❛ I did everything for you, but you’re so fucking blind! ❜ ❛ I did it all for you. You might even want to say thank you. ❜ ❛ I don’t get how you have a kid and not give a shit what happens to it. ❜ ❛ I don’t get it. Half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them? ❜ ❛ I don’t give a fuck. I’m happy to knock your fucking teeth out. ❜ ❛ I don’t go onto Facebook, okay? ‘Cause I don’t give a shit about whose pet just died or who just checked in at the fucking McDonald’s. ❜ ❛ I don’t know how much more I can take of that before I stab him/her in the neck with a broken beer bottle. ❜ ❛ I don’t love you! ❜ ❛ I haven’t had a drink for two days… Well, granted, I was unconscious. ❜ ❛ I just came here for a fucking beer, alright? ❜ ❛ I know that shit, bitch! That’s a cat! ❜ ❛ I made a list of the top 50 stupidest things I’ve done and all 50 were when I was drunk. ❜ ❛ I never thought I’d say this, but you were right. ❜ ❛ I saw you smile. ❜ ❛ I think you deviated my septum! ❜ ❛ I thought it might be different this time. ❜ ❛ I trust you. That’s bigger to me than ‘I love you.’ ❜ ❛ I want you to take that shiv and jam it in his eye. ❜ ❛ I will make this kitchen my bitch. ❜ ❛ I would never leave you. Ever. You gotta know that. After everything we’ve been through, you kind just have to know that. ❜ ❛ If you’re gonna talk shit at least do it right. ❜ ❛ It smells worse than a dead hooker’s ass in there. ❜ ❛ It wouldn’t have happened without you. ❜ ❛ It’s a shame when someone you love gets taken away, isn’t it? ❜ ❛ It’s never about me and I’m finally making it about me! ❜ ❛ I’d be crying right now if I wasn’t so high. ❜ ❛ I’d trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep. ❜ ❛ I’m gonna beat your ass like a piñata until candy falls out! ❜ ❛ I’m not a tool, so you don’t get to treat me like one. ❜ ❛ I’m not homeless, I told you. I have a home, I’m just not welcome there. ❜ ❛ I’m not my dad. You hear me? I’m not my fucking dad! ❜ ❛ I’m probably biased, but you deserve better than him/her/them. ❜ ❛ I’m sick of living in your shadow! ❜ ❛ I’m taking care of me for a change, not him/her/them. ❜ ❛ I’m the only thing that passes for a responsible adult that you’re gonna find. ❜ ❛ Keep laughing or I will slit your throat in your sleep. ❜ ❛ Last message, promise. Wherever you are… Bye. ❜ ❛ Let’s be honest, he/she is my last chance at happiness and that’s more important than video games and masturbation, right? ❜ ❛ Let’s go get drunk and buy a gun. ❜ ❛ Look at me, I can’t go to jail! I might as well wear heels. ❜ ❛ Men are never right. That’s why women were invented, to think for you assholes. ❜ ❛ Name a single time I’ve ever let you down. ❜ ❛ Next time, I’m gonna break both of your fucking knee caps, ‘kay? ❜ ❛ No one gives a shit who you bang. ❜ ❛ No one likes to hear a grown man whine. It’s like the verbal equivalent of a dude wearing UGGs. ❜ ❛ No one’s ever been as good to me as you have. ❜ ❛ No, no, no, no, no, no. The bat is for killing, not for taking to school. ❜ ❛ Not everybody just gets to blurt out how they fuckin’ feel every minute. ❜ ❛ Not to be a dick or anything, but you have been kind of a whore. ❜ ❛ Oh shit, I’m sorry. You know I would’ve never said that to your face. ❜ ❛ Oh, don’t mind me. I accidentally took three of my pills instead of one. ❜ ❛ One of my unspoken rules is you don’t fuck somebody else when we’re on a date. ❜ ❛ People fuck up. That’s life. ❜ ❛ People like us, we can be happy. ❜ ❛ Random destruction makes you think of me? ❜ ❛ Really? That’s all you’re gonna say? ❜ ❛ See that? They’re digging your grave. And you wanna be gone before they get that to six feet. ❜ ❛ Seriously, I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just genetic. ❜ ❛ Should I apologize or leave? …I’m gonna leave. ❜ ❛ Show of hands, how many of you, at one point or another, wanted to see me dead? ❜ ❛ Some girls are just jerks. ❜ ❛ Stop acting like the world is out to get you when it’s so clearly dropping gifts at your feet. ❜ ❛ Stuff just happens sometimes. ❜ ❛ The best part of making a baby is that you get to have sex while doing it. ❜ ❛ The first rule you hide in this house: You hide the goddamn money! ❜ ❛ The only way to make money when you’re poor is to steal it or scam it. ❜ ❛ We both know my only options are getting pregnant or getting arrested. ❜ ❛ Well, he may look like he’s in a boy band, but he’s got a point. ❜ ❛ Well, if you need me I’ll be across the street in the bushes, stalking you. ❜ ❛ What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? ❜ ❛ What the fuck are you looking at? ❜ ❛ What you and I have makes me free. Not what these assholes know. ❜ ❛ Whatever. Liking what I like don’t make me a bitch. ❜ ❛ When she/he/they say ‘fuck you’ it means ‘I love you.’ ❜ ❛ When you focus on other people’s problems, it’s a lot easier to ignore your own. ❜ ❛ Where can I get knives and blunts? ❜ ❛ Why would anyone go to the zoo sober? ❜ ❛ Will you? Wait? Fucking lie to me if you have to. ❜ ❛ Yeah, it gives me more time to buy drugs and fence stolen goods. ❜ ❛ You can’t own a motto! ❜ ❛ You could do things with your tongue that would make a rattlesnake blush. ❜ ❛ You deserve to get out, even if you don’t take me with you. ❜ ❛ You did okay. You tried. It’s a lot more than most people would do. ❜ ❛ You don’t love me. ❜ ❛ You have made me happy. I’ve never been very happy. ❜ ❛ You have to let me go. You have to let me let you go. I need you to do that for me. ❜ ❛ You know that jagermeister really makes you chatty, right? ❜ ❛ You know what? Nothing’s ever your problem. Make it your problem! ❜ ❛ You know where I live if you have a problem. ❜ ❛ You know, having a Russian sex worker isn’t ideal for child care. ❜ ❛ You say that again and I’ll rip your tongue out of your head. ❜ ❛ You take care of everyone, but no one takes care of you. ❜ ❛ You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch. ❜ ❛ You want to get shit faced in the middle of the day? Vodka’s best. Believe me.  ❜ ❛ Your coochie smells like brimstone and Sulfur. ❜ ❛ You’re a loud, mean, vicious bitch. ❜ ❛ You’re better than anyone I’ve ever met and you deserve to get out. ❜ ❛ You’re kind of growing on me. ❜ ❛ You’re not lost. You don’t need finding. ❜ ❛ You’re nothing like anyone I’ve ever met. You make me want to enjoy my life again. ❜ ❛ ______ doesn’t have any friends. Only people he/she/they haven’t pissed off yet. ❜

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❛  Even though there aren’t any stars out tonight, you’re still shining like one. ❜ ❛ Your hand looks heavy can i hold it for you?  ❛ Do you know if there are any police around? Cause I’m about to steal your heart. ❜ ❛ Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me! ❜ ❛ Do you like my sweater? Its boyfriend material. ❜ ❛ Can I borrow a kiss, I promise I’ll give it back. ❜ ❛ Do you come with coffee and cream because you are my sugar. ❜ ❛ I think you’re an alien. You just abducted my heart. ❜ ❛ Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you. ❜ ❛ If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand. ❜ ❛ Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling. ❜ ❛ You’re kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind. ❜ ❛ There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it. ❜ ❛ You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room. ❜ ❛ Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart. ❜ ❛ Is your name “swiffer”? ‘Cause you just swept me off my feet. ❜ ❛ Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. ❜ ❛ Can I hit you in the face… with my lips? ❜ ❛ If I could reach out and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, I’d have the sky in the palm of my hand. ❜ ❛ When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part. ❜ ❛ Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you. ❜ ❛ You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not. ❜  ❛ Baby you make palms sweaty, knees weak, arms spaghetti. ❜ ❛ You know what you’d look really beautiful in? My arms. ❜ ❛ See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart. ❜ ❛ May I flirt with you? ❜ ❛ It’s not my fault that I fell for you, you tripped me! ❜ ❛ Do I know you? ‘Cause you look a lot like my next boyfriend. ❜ ❛ I can’t stop looking at how gorgeous you are… If I kiss you will I get slapped? ❜ ❛ I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art. ❜ ❛ Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven? ❜ ❛ Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte. ❜ ❛ There is something wrong with my phone. Could you call it for me to see if it rings? ❜ ❛ Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary? ❜

The outer edge of the parapet came up to her chin, but along the inner edge of the walk was nothing, nothing but a long plunge to the bailey seventy or eighty feet below. All it would take was a shove, she told herself. He was standing right there, right there, smirking at her with those fat wormlips. You could do it, she told herself. You could. Do it right now. It wouldn’t even matter if she went over with him. It wouldn’t matter at all. 

❝ If it’s a question of my heart, you’ve got it. It don’t belong to anyone but you. ❞

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