coffee, please!

playing a ten year old mobile game rn

zen and yoosung and the 8 million color edits

STARDEW VALLEY BACHELORS GENDERBENT!!

Disclaimer. I am not an expert, I just happened to be another person who has BPD and who has loved Yoosung for years now and part of the reason is that I see myself in him. If you suspect having bpd then please talk about this to your therapist. Also Trigger warning for discussions of thoughts and act of ending one's own life

Introduction

This post is inspired by @hispartyinvite when they shared their headcannon of why they too think Yoosung has BPD in one of their asks and it inspired me to make a proper blog on it someday. So thank you Pyri for the inspiration.

Usually when people think of "BPD coded characters" they think of characters such as Anakin Skywalker, Jinx from Arcane and in the case of Mystic Messenger most people mainly talk about Saeran Choi. Now I wont refute the arguments of Saeran and everyone else I mentioned here having BPD but still usually when people mention "bpd coded characters" they usually mention characters who are usually antagonists or characters who have a propensity for violence.

And BPD is a highly stigmatised disorder. Most people assume that all people with BPD will abuse them or act violent towards them. Which is far from the truth. Many of us are more like Yoosung who love people too deeply sometimes to the detriment of our own well being and try our best to be kind and care a lot about others' wellbeing. Since I have loved Yoosung years before finding out that I have BPD so Yoosung is a very special fictional character for me in this regard

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition characterized by pervasive patterns of instability in mood, self-image, and interpersonal relationships, as well as marked impulsivity. Fear of abandonment and chronic feelings of emptiness further compound the complexity of this disorder. Individuals with BPD often experience intense and rapidly shifting emotions, have difficulty regulating their emotions, and engage in impulsive behavior.

According to DSM 5 there are nine criteria for BPD. A person with BPD checks out at least five out of the nine criterias

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

4. Impulsivity in at least two potentially self-damaging areas (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).

5. Recurrent thoughts and actions related to ending oneself or self-mutilating behavior.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and rarely more than a few days).

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

What symptoms does Yoosung have

To be considered having BPD as mentioned above one needs to atleast have five out of nine symptoms and Yoosung does tick off five or arguably more than five criteria in the list. Here are some of the symptoms I noticed in him

1.Fear of abandonment and frantic efforts to avoid it

Because Yoosung was so deeply attached to Rika, who used to be his FP (Favourite Person) after her supposed death he develops an intense fear of abandonment, especially when MC comes to the picture, as MC we need to constantly reassure him that we are not going to leave him and how much he is as equally important to us throughout his route. He is also somewhat prone to jealousy towards other members, fearing that we might end up leaving him for another member. Even in his After Ending which takes place years after his Good Ending he admits that he still fears MC leaving him.

2. Unstable sense of self

When Rika entered Yoosung’s life, he molded his entire self around her, he aspired to become a vet because he wants to make her happy, he applied for SKY university because Rika told him so, he became more charitable under Rika’s influence and set his entire life around her. Then when she was gone from his life, his whole life crumbled and he became directionless. And later when MC enters his life he starts to mould himself around her as well. Whatever MC says is set in stone for him, he agrees to everything MC says. He even openly tells MC that he wants to “become like clay” for her and let her mold him however she wants.

3. Idealisation and Devaluation (Unstable interpersonal relationship)

We see this very prominently in yoosung. He idealises Rika as some kind of angelic figure, a magician who spreads happiness to everyone, who is the kindest person he has ever known and who can do no wrong. That's why he compares MC with Rika, not because Yoosung harbors any incestuos feelings towards Rika but because he idealises Rika to the extent that for him comparing someone with Rika is the highest honor he can bestow upon someone. And at the same time he deeply devalues and despises Jihyun after Rika “dies” because he thinks Jihyun is responsible for Rika’s death and failed to be a good boyfriend to her. Even more so because Jihyun keeps avoiding him and hides things from him which makes Yoosung suspect his credibility. Yoosung also sometimes does this with his friends who he otherwise loves and cares deeply about. He trusts Seven with everything with every information he gives but when he hears about Seven talking to Jihyun he starts to suspect him. Yoosung loves and cherishes Zen but the moment Zen corrects his behaviour he starts getting insecure and starts to despise him before eventually forgiving him after realising that Zen is well intentioned.

4. Chronic feelings of emptiness

After Rika was gone from his life Yoosung dealt with chronic emptiness because of which he jumped from one hobby to another jumping from clubs to clubs. One of the main reasons Yoosung is addicted to playing LOLOL is because he wants to escape his chronic emptiness and avoid feeling consumed by it. Which is why he plays the game for several hours at stretch and has a hard time getting off it until MC enters his life and makes him feel more “fulfilled”

5. Emotional Dysregulation (instability due to marked reactivity of mood)

Throughout his route it is very clear that Yoosung is someone who feels his emotions to a high magnitude and has a hard time controlling them, especially without the help of his favourite person (which is MC in his route) he is prone to falling into debilitating depression. When he is happy he is extremely euphoric and when he is angry he has a hard time controlling it unless MC tells him to calm down. He starts to feel better when MC soothes his feelings and reassures him that he is not insane for feeling what he feels.

6. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

We specifically see this in Yoosung in Day 5 common route bad ending when the player fails to choose one of the three routes in Casual Story. Yoosung becomes paranoid about Seven and Jihyun secretly plotting against RFA and eventually goes into a state of psychosis claiming that everyone including himself is a robot and everything is unreal. Eventually Unknown takes advantage of Yoosung’s fragile mental state and kidnaps him.

7. Thoughts and acts of ending oneself

While it is not much discussed in the game. Yoosung is someone who has little to no regard for his own life, who is willing to sacrifice himself even if it means to get badly injured or losing his life for his loved ones. He has also expressed his thoughts of ending himself a few times in the game. When he eventually discovers Rika’s truth in Jihyun’s Route he claims that he wants to end himself. He also takes his own life in the Bad Ending 1 of his own route and in his After Ending he says that if MC leaves him he will “go to the river and cry” which pretty much means he will end himself.

Author’s note