When you are attracted to people, it’s because of the details. Their kindness. Their eyes. The fact that they can get you to laugh when you need it the most.

How do I explain to someone that I do care, that I am just having a difficult time showing my emotions because everything in life has taught me to put them away? How do I explain that the fists I had felt every time my father was too much into his beer and a few days without his self-medicated supplies, it has made me the scared person I am today? How do I explain that the many nights I sat with my mother at only eight years old and watched her cry her eyes out because she loved a man who could only love his drugs, it has made me the scared person I am today? How do I explain that the calmness I saw in my father changing rapidly into unexplained anger, it has made me the scared person I am today? How do I explain that the many nights I sat home alone because my mom worked and my father could not care to explain his whereabouts, could not take care of the children who did him no wrong, only to confide in unknown women and make more children who he could not support, it has made me the scared person I am today? How do I explain that waking up at seven in the morning just to visit my father one day a week behind clear glass just to watch him complain, it has made me the scared person I am today? How do I explain that the way I act, the way I hide, it is only the result of being so torn down as a child by the only person I was supposed to trust?