Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā breathes an exasperated huff as heās denied whatever it was hawks was going to tell him,Ā irritation briefly flickering to life before fading away just as quickly.Ā whatever he was going to say is equally as quickly forgotten as heās gently startledĀ Ā āāĀ Ā having not anticipated the other moving onto his lap,Ā facing him while being even more physically close than before.Ā itāsĀ ā¦Ā distracting.Ā confusing.Ā but itās almost purely habit by now;Ā Ā the careful way he places hands on hawksā thighs,Ā couple fingers curled into his own palms to avoid anything troublesome.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā āĀ Ā easier said than done.Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā response is off - handed,Ā aloof.Ā didnāt want to explain that heād barely slept in the weeks hawks had been gone.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā gaze remains downcast and hooded,Ā guarded.Ā watches his own hand as he draws idle shapes against the otherās hip.Ā the only sign he was listening to what hawks was saying is the subtle change of his expression,Ā scarred lips pressing together in discomfort.Ā he didnāt want to talk about it,Ā and neither did shouhei really,Ā by the sounds of it.Ā the words do little to settle his internal turmoilĀ Ā āāĀ Ā perhaps some of the other had said he didnāt mean.Ā but there was no doubt that much of itĀ he did.Ā nor was tomura about to offer an apology or even a partial acknowledgement that what heād said had been hurtful.Ā that heād been less than a second away from killing him intentionally.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā his silence is prolongedĀ Ā /Ā Ā the quiet was usually a comfort to him,Ā but now it was too loud with things both said and unsaid.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ you know itāsĀ ā¦Ā difficult for me.Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā itās said quietly,Ā just as equally vagueĀ with no context given as to what exactly he was referring to.Ā nor did it really matter how hawks interrupted itĀ Ā āĀ Ā it would mean something,Ā either way.Ā he falls silent again,Ā apparently having said all he wanted to say on the subject,Ā but gaze remains averted.Ā Ā Ā Ā āāāĀ Ā at least until he eventually decides to lean forward and press his head into the otherās shoulder.Ā tired.Ā empty.
Ā Ā Ā hawks doesnāt mind the silence now. itās heavy, twisted, but itās enough to endure so that whatever semblance of healingĀ theyāre doing now isnāt wasted on idle talk. heās good at chattering when heās nervous, but so much of it would be mindless now. he doesnāt want to talk anything that may be TOO MUCH, but he also wonāt insult tenko by filling an already tense situation with white noise.Ā
Ā Ā Ā besides, heās comforted by the soft press at his hips. keeps his focus on how fleeting the touch feels sometimes. itās oddly gentle. but then -- shouhei had known it wasnāt impossible for tenko to show affection like this. quick, small bits of it afforded to the hero. where no one else would see, or know, and where it may disappear just as quick as it came. itās been long, much too long, since hawks had felt that. he wants to indulge, even as his attention is quickly stolen by tenkoās words. the way he suddenly leans against him, as light as a feather despite the way he COMMANDS a room. like this, heās not the leader of japanās most nefarious villains.
Ā Ā the hero ( well, ex-hero ) hesitates for only a split second before he brings his hand to rest on the back of tenkoās head. fingers splay in near white hair, pinky resting at the skin on the nape of his neck where he rubs gently back and forth.Ā ā ---- itās alright. ā he says, finally, releasing a slow breath,Ā ā you donāt have to explain anything. ā hawks knows that it shouldnāt be this easy. tenko had tried to kill him. hawks had used the memory of his trauma against him ( like so many before had ). they were playing a dangerous game. hawks was just too selfish to call it quits, not after everything.Ā ā i donāt always understand, tenko, ā a whisper at the otherās ear, a kiss to his temple,Ā ā but you donāt have to make me either. same for me. i wonāt be upset. so itās okay. itās over. ā beneath his words lay concern, an unease borne in a slight waver of confidence. it isĀ over now --- right ?? at least, this time.Ā
