A few months back, I had someone imply to me that they weren't attracted to me, because I had gained weight. I am the heaviest I've ever been. And yes, I want to lose weight and be fit for the sake of my health. Not because I think I don't look good. I look GREAT... but I want to feel great too, physically. But my mental health journey has been a LONG one, and the first chunk of it had to do with self image. I used to look in the mirror and hate what I saw. I used to cut up pictures of myself because I hated how I looked. I wore a size 4 and was small, but it was because I hated most foods and was afraid to try new things. My anxiety controlled my eating habits. I hated my hair, and was afraid to change it because everyone else loved it. My anxiety made me paranoid about how others saw me, if others liked how I looked. I genuinely hated myself. Now, I look how I want and I love it. I wear what makes me feel confident, cute. You never would've caught me in a crop top 10 years ago, but now it's basically all I wear. You never would've caught me wearing anything but black, but now I've learned to find the colors that look good on me. I've learned how to do my hair the way I LIKE IT and to buy clothes that reflect my personality, not hide my insecurities. I've learned to make myself feel cute every day, so that my mental health is in the best shape to tackle whatever the day throws at me. Love yourself; it's hard, but it's necessary. I'm not afraid to say that I love how I look today. It's not egotistical, or fishing for compliments to take that selfie and like how you look; it's healing, it's happiness, and it feels so damn good. https://www.instagram.com/p/CSUeKUcrYzm/?utm_medium=tumblr
