La La;;

So, how big of a chance do I have to get at least Chip through the airport security?

There is no way in hell you're gonna manage that. 

Sure they will, but they’ll just look tacky. That is why I’m bringing plenty of different outfits, so I’ll have something crisp and clean to change into.

You know it's just one suitcase per person, right? 

Unlikely. Most of it— I don’t even know why I even brought them in the first place. Definitely ew.

What else do you really need though? Shorts and a t-shirt will do you just fine. It's like whatever you buy is going stay crisp and clean, you'll be sweating your ass off by the end of the week. 

Downside to summer? Sunburn.

According to my spaghetti-haired science teacher in 8th grade; freckled people are more likely to get skin cancer. 

I'm sure you'll find something in your overflowing wardrobe. 

Family, uh––family meeting? Yeah, yeah–– give me a second. 

You're a lazy asshole, you know that? 

Then there’s your answer. 

Not to sound like a total girl, but porn is kind of gross. 

Huh… Normally it works the other way around. Like, sorry dude, but I don’t wanna suck your duck anytime soon. Am I right, ladies?

Absolutely. 

I’ll try my hardest not to.

Yeah, it would be kinda a fucking grim way to start the summer. 

I’m deeply wounded by your bitter comments. 

Then I'm doing my job right. 

Fuck off, it’s hard to follow the character’s appearance step by step when you’re a short-haired guy who doesn’t want to look like a tramp. 

You don't already look like a tramp? Well, that's news to me.

In the best quality. 

But your hair isn't big! So that's a load of bullcrap. 

Wrong. Everything looks good on me. It’s, like, the rules of feminism. 

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you were Gretchen fucking Wieners. 

This is why everybody hates you. 

Jealousy isn't a good look on you, Lark. 

And to think that I had faith in you. But no, you decide to ruin my life in the cruelest way. 

Ruinin' your life is just my talent. Can't blame me for what I was born with.

Didn’t want to come off as ultra dirty, in case your parents found the phone. 

Too bad I deleted the dick pics before you texted. You missed out, KG.