𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.

the  wash  of  unsatisfied  relief  she  feels  watching  him  move  towards  the  door  last  mere  moments  before  it’s  all  but  flushed  away.  it’s  a  struggle  to  remember  she  started  this  conversation,  she  opened  the  door  for  this,  she  couldn’t  run  away  (  not  again  )  .  the  frustration  and  anger  coming  from  jihoon  is  tense  in  the  air, it's think almost it's own entity between them.  three  years  later  and  he  still  knew  her,  knew  was  she  was  skirting  around  the  truth.  “  it  won’t  help  …  the  truth,  “  breaking  her  silence  she  looks  towards  him  standing  back  to  her  feet.  there’s  a  bitterness  in  her  tone  that  catches  even  her  off  guard,  a  bitterness  towards  herself.  “  it’s  dumb  and  selfish  …  and  will  probably  piss  you  off  even  more,  “  a  short  sad  laugh,  “  but, fine !  if  you  want  to  know  i’ll  tell  you.  “  it  was  embarrassing,  it’s  own  sick  twist  of  evil  from  the  universe  that’d  she’d  have  to  voice  her  own  impulsive  choices  aloud.  “  my  dad  called,  “  it’s  a  short  quip  of  an  answer,  one  that  only  somebody  who  understand  her  past  would  even  begin  to  piece  together.  her  father  :  that’s  where  is  always  all  started  and  ended  when  it  came  to  marigold  amin.  “  —  after  that  and  i  just  had  to  leave.  “  the  words  trail  off  into  silence  as  she  allows  them  to  hang  between  them. nobody  had  ever  (  maybe  would  ever  )  drop  all  her  defensive  walls  like  jihoon.  her  body  is  practically  vibrating  at  her  display  of  honesty,  danger  signs  flashing  in  her  brain  ‘  too  close  too  close  ’  ‘  too  much  information  too  much  information  ‘.  she  can  only  hope  that’s  she’s  not  physically  shaking,  that’d  be  even  more  humiliating.  “  i  told  you  it  was  a  shit  reason  and  that  i  was  fucked  up  ?  happy  now  ?  my  shitty  convict  daddy  called  and  kicked  in  my  flight  instinct  so  i  left  you  and  i  left  the  prowlers.  “  hands  dropping  down  to  her  sides  in  a  sign  of  defeat.  there’s  no  relief  in  finally  revealing  the  truth  to  the  other,  no  large  weight  slipping  off  her  shoulders.  instead  there’s  a  sick  sinking  in  her  stomach,  a  protest  of  her  admittance.  funny  how  doing  the  right  thing  could  make  you  feel  even  worse  about  yourself.  this  mari  2.0  shit  sucked.

another long pause. he looks everywhere but at her, unable to stomach meeting her eyes, but he forces himself to as the next words come out of his lips. "i deserved better than that, mari. i would've never done that to you," he says quietly. the words are heavy and dejecting. he walks to her door—the third time today—and pauses. "we did a good job avoiding each other these three years, let's just go back to that. it's easier for both of us." and that's how jihoon rebuilds a fortified wall against mari, after her words manage to crack through it. does he feel better saying all that? debatable. there's no relief or comfort in any of this. but it's the only way he knows to shield himself from her after everything he just heard. his words are emotionally charged—he's a closed book that finally opened, revealing pages of anguish and heartache. with that, he opens the door and leaves, not wanting to hear her say anything more, because odds are, it will only break him even more.

eliana takes a step closer and tem takes a step back. part of her wants to say something like unhand me, temptation ! but eliana wasn't even touching her. clears her throat, trying to bring an aura of professionalism to the conversation and failing. unfortunately, the vogue videos uniform did not inspire things like dominance over customers. " our romcoms are over here. " a well - curated selection now that tem was working here. she's very proud of her display, puffing up a little as she presents the options to eliana. " pretty woman, ella enchanted, 10 things i hate about you, she's the man, how to lose a guy in 10 days, the princess diaries, but i'm a cheerleader... how long is this girl's night lasting again ? "

eliana almost laughs as tem takes a step back, instead her eyes merely twinkle with mirth and satisfaction. it doesn't offend them, because as far as they're concerned, this is clearly a side effect to being flustered. if anything, she feels bad for her, because that vogue videos uniform is not it. it's ugly and the colors don't match nicely. pigs would fly before you saw eliana in something like that. "i do love how to lose a guy in 10 days," she muses, tapping a freshly manicured nail against her lips, pretending to think about it. "as long as it takes. we're not really putting an end time to it. tell me, what would you want to watch for a girl's night?

★          ꒰          🏹            ꒱           “   what   are   you   doing   here   ?   i'm   not   really   lookin'   for   a   repeat   of   valentine's   day   if   that's   what   you're   lookin'   for.   ”

"last i checked, i worked here," jihoon points out, quirking an eyebrow in the other's direction. if jihoon wasn't at his apartment, then you'd most likely find him rodani wheels. he shrugs lightly, he doesn't take hunter's attitude seriously; something he got used to. "xile's not here and there's no booze. it's hard to repeat valentine's day like that, don't you think?"

the  desperation  in  his  tone  hits  her  square  in  the  chest.  the  emotion  enough  to  send  her  staggering  backward.  he  deserves  answers,  but  she’s  unsure  if  she  can  given  them.  jihoon  already  owns  so  much  of  her,  forever  holding  a  portion  of  her  heart  and  mind,  if  she  answers  truthfully  she’d  be  handing  over  another  shattered  piece.  too  much,  always  too  much. it’s  the  insinuation in the  next  words  that  has  her  head  whipping  up,  “  of  course  we  meant  something  !  “  a  twist  of  frustration  building  in  her  voice.  as  if  she  would  ever  question  her  feelings  for  him.  she  loved  him,  that  was  never  ever  in  question.  “  we  meant  something  and  that’s  the  whole  problem  !  “  it’s  not  a  full  admission,  a  mere  crack  into  the  tangled  web  in  mari’s  head.  “  like  i  said  you  don’t  have  to  accept  my  shit  apology  —  i  get  it  …  i  left  in  the  shittiest  way  possible,  “  if  she  had  sent  a  text  would  the  situation  be  any  better  ?  what  would  it  say  ‘  sorry  i’m  betraying  you  and  the  crew  my  dad  called  me  ‘  ?  or  maybe  ‘  i’m  a  coward  you  mean  too  much  to  me  we’re  done  bye  ‘  ?  it  was  a  childish,  impulse  decision  she  had  long  learned  to  accept.  “  i  fucked  up,  “  a  short,  sad  laugh  accompanying  her  words,  “  i’m  fucked  up  —  that’s  the  best  reason  i  can  give  you  for  leaving,  ‘kay  ?  “  a  feeling  of  defeat  falling  on  her  shoulders  as  she  falls  to  the  couch  behind  her.  when  did  she  end  up  this  far  back  into  her  apartment  ? “  you’re  right  though  …  it  doesn’t  change  anything,  “  words  a  peace  offering.  because  he’s  right.  no  matter  where  this  conversation  landed  they  were  still  on  opposites  sides  of  a  crew  war.  destined  to  forever  be  at  the  odds  no  matter  where  they  were.  she  was  nariza  and  he  was  a  prowler,  natures  forever  foes.  they  could  never  know  true  peace.  “  i  just  never  got  to  tell  you  sorry  …  so  —  i’m  sorry  …  “  pause,  “  —  and  sorry  this  is  a  fucked  up  apology,  “  at  those  final  words  she  gestures  towards  the  door  of  her  apartment  allowing  him  an  out.

"fuck," he mutters under his breath. "we can go back to not talking after that. you don't have to worry about this problem." jihoon is not only hurt, but bitter. pain, hurt, agitation, and distress were what's driving his every word and thought. at the end of the day, they needed to be apart. mari was an ex prowler turned nariza boi, after all. not only did she break his heart, she also betrayed him and his trust in every way.

finally.  in  the  awkward  small  talk  and  uncomfortable  silences  this  was  finally  the  reaction  she  was  searching  for.  it’s  the  heavy  punch  to  the  gut  she  had  been  expecting  since  new  years.  the  harsh  words  she  deserved  for  her  actions.  even  then  it’s  not  enough;  she  wants  thrashing,  yelling,  biting,  fighting.  a  reminder  of  the  numbing  hole  in  her  heart  left  the  night  she  walked  away.  she  wanted  to  press,  poke  and  tear  at  it  till  it  woke  up  red and bleeding.  it’s  what  she  deserved  after  the damage she left in her wake. “  it  wasn’t  fair  or  right  …  or  whatever  but  if  –  if  i  stayed  to  say  goodbye  to you … to everyone ...  “  a  swallow  and  a  moment  of  silence,  “  i  wouldn’t  have  gone  and  i  had  to  go.  “  it’s  illogical,  reasoning  she  cannot  explain  even  to  herself.  the  overwhelming  flight  instict  that  night  still  threatened  to  overwhelm  her,  suffocate  her.  in  three  years  she  had  never  allowed  herself  to  imagine  what  it  would  be  like  if  she  stayed.  a  heartbreaking  picture  cased  in  cracked  glass.  “  i’m  not  asking  you  to  understand  it  or  accept  it,  “  tone  turning  bitter,  tight,  “  you  just  need  to  know  …  it  wasn’t  you  …  it  wasn’t  ever  you.  “  how  cliche  it  was  to  say  :  it’s  not  you  it’s  me.  she  was  long  broken,  never  put  back  together  correctly  after  her  father’s  arrest.  exposed  edges  sharp  and  jagged  forever  destined  to  maim  those  she  came  in  contact  with. “  i  –  “  heavy  emphasis  on  the  i,  “  had  to  go,  “  she softly repeats herself. her  head  raises  to  look  back  at  him,  eyes  shining  with  a  plea  :  don’t  ask  why.  don’t  press  further.  please.  she’s  unsure  if  she  could  survive  recounting  it  to  him.  as  a  rule  she  never  spoke  of  her  father  or  childhood.  the  details  of  the  first  betryal  of  her  life  locked  tight  in  hear  head  under  lock  and  key.  jihoon  being  one  of  the  only  people  ever  to  hear  the  details  from  mari  herself  and  he  handle  it  better  then  she  could  have  imagined. because of course he did.  forever  patient,  soft  and  safe  with  mari.  that’s  why  she  can’t  tell  him,  because  he’d  understand.  she  wasn’t  anywhere  near  deserving  of  that  understanding.

should he ask why she left? he shouldn't care enough to know. what good would it do? she still left. knowing the reason won't magically turn back time and change the outcome. he lets out a sigh. a million thoughts are racing through his brain in a speed he can't comprehend. he wasn't prepared for a conversation like this. granted, he was never going to be. "i still don't understand what you're saying. what do you mean?" he presses. what was so bad that made mari betray him, betray the crew, and run away and never look back?

" well, no, but it's the first time someone's let me touch a fight bruise ! " a mad scientist would be proud of the giggle that leaves tem at that moment. finally pleased, she pulls back. " i know they can 'cause i can also punch ! " she makes the kind of fist where you'd break your hand if you hit that way. unspoken : she's majorly lost all the fights she's ever gotten in. but who knows ! maybe the next one will be the one ! still, jihoon looks like he wants his mind off valentines entirely, so she's glad to move onto something else for his sake. brightens at the mention of cherry coke. " you did ? let me see. gimme, please ? " hands folded together in front of her like a victorian child begging for coin. one of the only things she'll ever beg for is a can of cherry coke, her namesake. enough to let the fight conversation drop : though, her eyes do narrow in suspicion. jihoon sounds more like he'd grab her and pull her away from a fight than join in with her. suspicious. surely just her mind, though !

jihoon lets out a light chuckle. "well, alright then. glad to know i'm the first to let you do that." he shakes his head, have never seen someone so intrigued by something as simple as a fight bruise. then again, tem was tem, and if he thought about it more, he wouldn't find it at all surprising. he indulges her, all the same. "when's the last time you punched someone?" he wonders, because jihoon's convinced tem's deluding herself into believing she can punch, especially with the way her fist is looking right now. "okay, you're going to end up breaking your thumb." he reaches for her fist, takes out her thumb that was originally tucked inside the fist, and instead tucks it in front of her first, just below the line of her knuckles. "that's how your fist should look like." he folds his arms and shrugs. "tell me first why you were laughing and i'll give it to you," he says. he remembered the promise he made to her last time about getting her cans of cherry coke! "i even got myself a can, too. just to give it another try." even though he's ninety-nine percent positive his opinion will not change.

“i  wish  you’d  stop  doing  that  sometimes,”  they  blurt  out.  the  words  slam  out  of  their  mouth  into  the  space  between  them.  it’s  almost  out  of  character  for  tania  to  say  them.  the  right  response  would’ve  been,  okay.  it’s  also  none  of  my  business  what  happened  between  you.  but  i  thought  you  should  know.  we  can  move  on  now.  that’s  always  what  they’ve  been  like.  but  something  about  this  feels  different.  they’ve  never  asked  about  what  jihoon’s  life  looked  like  before  the  crews  split.  never  needed  to  know,  really.  that’s  his  business.  and  yet.  “just  because  it  was  years  ago  doesn’t  mean—”  they  stop  —  brake  at  the  red  light.  can  we  go  back  to  talking  about  max’s  upgrades?  tania  almost  asks.  they  steal  another  glance  at  jihoon.  “it  still  kind  of  is  your  business.  she  still  is  your  ex.  however  many  years  ago  that  was  doesn’t  change  that  i  don’t  want  to  fuck  your  ex,  because  she’s  your  ex.”  if  they  were  anyone  else,  maybe  it’d  be  easier  to  say,  because  you’re  my  friend,  jihoon.  “well,”  they  say  instead.  the  light  stays  red.  “doesn’t  matter  anymore  now.  it’s  not  happening  again.  just—  couldn’t  keep  that  from  you.”  and  then,  because  it’s  out  in  the  open  anyway:  “sorry  it  happened.”

"no, tania, it really isn't my business," he says again. "we broke up before the split. she left with the others without my knowledge. as far as i'm concerned, it's something very much in the past. so i don't see how it's my business what she does." he looks over at them. even though he's hooked up with a nariza, it doesn't mean he isn't concerned about tania doing the same. he lets out a sigh. "as for you, you had no idea. so..." he trails off, shrugging. for jihoon, there was absolutely no reason for crew members who joined post split to know about relationship drama that went down before. not only was he a private person, but there was truly not reason or benefit to it. yes, he trusted tania, it's why he's telling them details of the break up, but before that, he didn't see a reason to bring up a relationship that ended and was left where it belonged: in the past. "see why i mean it isn't my business? you don't to apologize or anything. but thank you for telling me, either way."

apologies were just mere words. as far as eliana was concerned, people needed to show action to really prove how sorry they were. sure, with chrissy, it was (mostly) in jest, but they wouldn't pass on an opportunity to be dramatic. and hey, if she was going to get something for it, then why not! "what? you think i'd make it that easy and tell you how?" anyone who knew eliana knew what she liked, so it wouldn't be that hard to think something up. "attention's always a good reason. you're hot, so," she points out. "that's not too bad then, i suppose. and there will be more nights to come, which you shouldn't miss out on! just a reminder!"

" right, i'll make sure to give you a call before i punch someone in the face, " mirae jokes, rolling her eyes at the thought of it all. she'd acted out, perfectly on par with what was expected of her, just a few moments taken to unravel her wrath on an unsuspecting pair of bodies. granted, she was sure she'd never see one of them again anyway. just as wildfires spread, they were almost always put out, nothing but embers left to flicker in the face of their destruction. " people talk too much. at least my fight with sloane at body was more exciting, there's no fun in it when they don't hit you back. " she lets out a sigh, white wine set on the table while she leans back on the couch. " as much as i adore the idea of you as my cheerleader, i'm all out of commission. " a manicured hand that's missing one nail is admired, a frown settling on her features. " hurts like a fuckin' bitch. must be from darius and his stupid triangle jaw. "

"you do that. just a quick 'hey, i'm getting into a fight at x location' and i'll come running." nothing like some drama or a scene to get eliana moving. while she would never be one to engage in a physical altercation, watching them was more than fun. with how boring things got more often than not, watching drama unfold was what she needed, like her own personal teen tv show. "oh, yeah, it's been the talk of everyone for the past few days. made some of these fights look greater than they actually were the more i knew. did you win against sloane, at least?" because isn't that what matters, at the end of the day? she scrunches her nose at the sight of the missing nail. she can't imagine how heartbreaking (or painful) this must be. "not a missing nail. at least i hope it hurt darius too, just so losing a nail wasn't in vain." he's a man, he'll get over it!

the   itch   was   coming   back.   every   three   months,   like   clockwork,   there'd   be   this   irritation   under   her   skin.   something   that   would   keep   poking,   prodding,   until   she   ended   up   somewhere   in   the   keys   or   tampa,   even   tallahassee,   racing   around   a   track   she   had   no   business   on.   it   was   dangerous,   maybe   borderline   stupid,   and   no   one   knew   about   it.   felt   the   itch   this   morning   soon   as   she   got   up   from   bed,   pacified   it   by   driving   way   above   the   speed   limit   from   jihoon's   place   to   taco   bell   to   the   bay   parking   garage.   it'd   come   back,   she   knew,   but   it   was   enough   for   now.     “    they   better   not   have   forgotten   my   fire   sauce,    ”       arm   half   way   into   the   bag,   head   ducking   to   look   for   the   miniature   sauce   packets,     “    ever   since   it   came   out,   can't   have   my   taco   bell   without   it.    ”       a   roar   of   victory   when   she   finds   the   ten   fire   sauces   she   requested   at   the   drive   through   window,   a   look   over   to   where   jihoon   was   planted   in   the   passenger   seat   of   her   car,     “    they   get   everything   right   for   you?    ”

jihoon's a simple person. when things felt too bleak, being around cars in any capacity helped. cars always successfully provided the distraction he sought. if he wasn't buried deep under the hood of a car, he was speeding down miami's roads in his own car. it was that simple. he's the passenger today, with xile driving above speed limit, but it does the trick all the same. and lately, all he's been doing is seeking a distraction of any kind. he wasn't picky about it. "they better not. i fear they'll come face-to-face with xile rosario's wrath," he teases lightly. except he wants the fire sauce as well, but you will not find him going back and asking for it if it was indeed missing. he looks in his bag as well to double check on his order. "yeah, all's right. they got me the fire sauce too. they missed it last time i ordered. noticed the food doesn't hit the same way without it. are we eating that outside or is your car about to smell like taco bell for the next two days?" jihoon's a bit obnoxious about eating in his own car. he does not allow it, thank you very much.

“ugh. listen t'me. a couple drinks in 'n i'm suddenly in the mood for reminiscin'. didn't mean to talk you ear off.”

jihoon stays quiet for some time. he's not the best at dealing with such situations. he's more of a listener than a talker, and he doesn't always know the right thing to say. if someone is drunk and nostalgic about the past, what can he even say to that? nothing, really. "did you... get rid of the truck?" he wonders. he would never get rid of his own car even if it's broken beyond repair, having developed an attachment to it over the years. call him sentimental or whatever. it's been with him for years now. he clears his throat, shaking his head a little. "it's fine. i'm not the best person to reminisce with, though. sorry about that." because he himself doesn't see any use of it.

face   positively   squished   into   the   arm   rest   of   the   couch   ,   eyes   resting   upon   the   other   as   they   took   his   phone   from   his   hands   .   to   some   this   might   seem   like   a   mundane   thing   .   .   .   something   that   wasn't   even   worth   mentioning   -   but   to   jisung   there   lay   something   much   deeper   and   meaningful   .   trust   didn't   come   easy   these   days   ,   especially   not   for   someone   like   him   .   especially   not   in   his   position   (   too   many   burns   cluttered   across   experiences   he'd   simply   had   to   make   )   .   but   who   was   to   know   better   of   it   than   eliana   ?   someone   he   valued   highly   in   his   own   personal   ranks   he'd   made   up   in   his   mind   palace   .   so   despite   muscle   memory   kicking   in   ,   trying   to   grab   back   the   phone   .   .   .   jisung   calmed   easy   .   “   ugh   ,   I   know   right   ?   guess   I've   been   flash   banged   by   everythin'   that   happened   that   night   .   speakin'   of   .   .   .   what   even   did   happen   ?   ”   shifting   ,   now   propped   up   on   his   elbows   .   “   heard   a   lot   of   shit   ,   but   y'know   how   that   goes   .   every   wind   adds   a   lil'   dust   to   it   .   sooo   .   d'yknow   anythin'   ?   ”   yet   another   alternation   had   him   sitting   crossed   legged   .   eyes   attentive   as   they   watched   eliana   .   “   of   course   ,   I   never   forget   a   favor   ,   y'know   that   .   especially   when   I'm   in   the   presence   of   such   an   able   bein'   .   " 

eliana studies the pictures like she's doing research. after all, picking a picture is serious business! they had to study every angle and see what picture captured jisung's features best. they treat their own pictures in the same manner. the choice would always need to be perfect. "sounds like you were busy that night," they tease playfully. "anything you wanna share?" as nosy as ever. they liked to know what was going on around them, sue them! "ugh, apparently there was quite a lot of fighting at heartbreaker bar. not that i saw any of it because i didn't spend as much time there. i don't know why everyone wanted to fight there when they could've moved it to 12welve. y'think there was something in the drinks there?" she rolls her eyes before she continues scrolling through the pictures. "okay, we have a winner!" they announce proudly, handing jisung's his phone back. "this one. perfect angle. focuses on both your face and your fit."

the  list  of  apologizes  she  owes  to  jihoon  is  never-ending  seeming  to  grow  by  each  week.  one  always  strays  to  top  of  her  mind,  the  one  forever  left  unsaid.  “  i’m  sorry  for  leaving.  “  a  simple  statement,  a  truth  long  held  back.  she  holds  his  eyes  as  speaks,  afraid  he’ll  mistake  her  for  lying  if  she  looks  anywhere  but  at  him.  “  i  never  meant  –  “  the  words  dropping  as  she  struggles  to  gather  herself,  “  it  wasn’t  fair  to  you,  the  way  i  went  about  things  back  then,”  a  nervous  pause  as  she  shuffles  her  feet to the side,  “  so  …  i’m  just  sorry.  “  the  truth  of  her  last  day  as  a  prowlers  was  a  secret  long  kept  between  her  and  hyunsik.  she  hadn’t  even  heard  her  father’s  voice  on  the  other  end  of  the  line,  only  the  automation  of  the  jail  message  playing  before  slamming  the  phone  shut.  the  message  reminder  enough  :  even  those  closest  to  you  will  lie  and  hurt  you.  at  the  time  it  was  easier,  running  and  never  looking  back.  the  consequences  of  her  actions  behind  her,  on  the  other  side  of  crew  lines.  from  her  new  life  she  could  hide  from  the  damage  she  left  behind,  the  marks  she  left  on  once  friends,  the  heartbreak  she  left  on  jihoon.  in  the  new  twisted  narrative  she  could  believe  that  he  she  hadn’t  left  her  heart  behind  in  the  prowlers.  she  made  her  bed  and  she’d  have  to  lie  in  it.  perhaps  it  was  time;  maturity  and  responsibility  sinking  in  with  age  that  has  her  apologizing  now.  maybe  it  was  the  one,  two  punch  to  the  skull  from  xile  knocking  sense  into  her  (  something  she’d  never  verbally  admit  ).  “  you  don’t  have  to  accept  it,  i  just  wanted  you  to  know.  “  she  plays  it  off  nonchalantly,  shrugging  her  shoulders.

“you’re sorry?” he blurts out, a bite to his words. he had actively tried to keep her in the past. it’s where she belonged. she didn’t have a place in his present or future. he believed pushing those emotions and thoughts into a box, tightly sealing it and locking it would solve this. he wouldn’t need an explanation or closure. but her words, and the way she plays it off so casually, unlock it all, his blood boils in his veins. “the way you went about things…” he repeats her own words, letting out a light scoff, emphasizing on the choice of words. as if what they had was a simple ‘thing’. as if the way she ended it was just a simple, trivial ‘thing’. “you never meant to what?” he presses. “is it that you left me without a word? that i had to find out about it from the crew?” it was embarrassing. she had been his girlfriend and she broke it off without his knowledge, like he wasn’t worthy of being broken up with respectfully. but that’s the thing: they always saw each other differently. she had been his entire world, till she wasn’t anymore. equal parts hurt and anger flash intensely in his eyes. “say it, mari. and then tell me, what i’m supposed to do about this apology.”

eyes  follow  his  as  he  scans  the  permitter  of  her  apartment.  she  finds  herself  wondering  what  he  sees  there,  what  facets  of  her  he  sees  within  these  new  walls.  focus  shifting  to  his  face  trying  to  decipher  his  features.  once  upon  a  time  she  could  read  him  like  a  book,  fluent  in  jihoon’s  micro  facial  expression.  time  had  hardened  him.  the  familiar  hallmarks  hidden  away  from  her.  she  can’t  blame  him  given  the  circumstances  they  found  themselves  in.  “  just  a  few  months,  “  shoulders  shrugging  with  her  answer.  long  learned  her  lesson  after  living  with  julian,  that  mari  was  best  living  on  her  own.  the  studio  she  found  herself  in  was  perfect  for  that.  as  if  she  would  ever  throw  anything  away  of  jihoon’s.  returning  it  was  the  safe  option  than  holding  on  to  it  and  letting  the  longing  fester,  “  no  biggie  …  it’s  yours.  you  deserve  it  back.  “  she  answers  simply  watching  him  take  the  sweater  from  her  hands.  the  finality  of  their  relationship  feeling  symbolized  as  it  slips  out  of  her  fingers.  in  another  life  she’s  hold  on  tight  ;  not  let  it  go,  not  let  him  go.  in  this  space  away  from  the  rest  of  the  world  they  feel  like  jihoon  and  mari  again.  not  nazia  mari  and  prowler  jihoon.  just  them.  emotions  roaring  in  her  ears  she  barely  registers  his  escape  towards  the  door.  perhaps  it’s  the  change  in  herself  she’s  unconsciously  felt  since  valentine’s  day  that  has  her  calling  out,  “  jihoon,  “  taking  a  hestiant  step  towards  him,  letting  the  words  hang  in  the  air  for  a  moment  before  continuing,  “  i’m  sorry.  “  it’s  an  apology  three  years  too  late.

then she's apologizing. he grips the door handle but doesn't it twist it open. he was seconds away from running away yet again. he turns out to face her, seeing that she's taken a few steps towards him in the meantime. his brows furrow, confusion evident and coloring his features. she's sorry? the words ring in his ears, like an alarm clock. if he allowed his thoughts to run wild, he'd start to wonder all the possible things she could mean by those words... except jihoon rarely allows himself to go down that sort of route. it's dangerous and hurtful more than anything, so he asks, "what?" a pause. "i mean... i'm not sure what you're saying. sorry for what?"