the inner workings of my very chaotic mind @wildflowereverie - Tumblr Blog

i do not subscribe to routine alcoholism but i have NEVER been more tempted

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jesus christ i feel.

my god. people aren’t supposed to feel like this.

and if i’ve just single-handedly ruined everything? what then?

it hurts too much to be right.

no. 1 jealous girl

it’s something so stupid to be upset over. but i know that’s not something i am. is that what you want? i’m half jealous, half insecure, which is SO rediculous and i know it. i want to give her everything. i don’t know how to give this. it’s never been that i don’t want to, but im terrified to go too far.

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kittyyygirl004

next time u get drunk promise to come say gross things to me okay?

woke up feeling normal for the first time in WEEKS

we are so back!!!

nothing i love more than to sink my fingers into the wound

so i’ll watch your life in pictures (like i used to watch you sleep)

how strange it is to see you at this stage of your life and not be there for it. i’m proud of you sweet girl, you know i am. i don’t know if ill ever actually tell you that. i miss you more than i can tell you, more than i can understand. i don’t know if i want to know you. noah said it best, that if i never see you again, you can be anything i want. if i don’t reach back out, i can never know you again, i can never be there for you. you won’t be my maid of honor like we planned, and i can’t help you redo your room this time, but i can’t keep this version of you safe, even if it’s only in my head. i can lock this tiny piece of you safe away in my heart. i can protect her in the way i couldn’t protect you.

i see your pictures on instagram. green is a good colour on you. it hurts realizing how different you look now. if i saw you out, im not sure id even recognize you. how sick is that, that i wouldn’t recognize my own sister?

i love you, i miss you, and i don’t think ill ever know you again. and somehow, i think it’s for the best.

i’ll always be there for you. i’m only as far away as your phone. you know id always pick up.

why thank you olivia, no it’s fine i’ll just go kill myself it’s all good

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they should invent a heavier weighted blanket, like i want to feel borderline smothered. i want to feel like there is the weight of an entire person laying on top of me, not some 10 pound nonsense

wildflowereverie

i was warned and thought “wow! that could never happen to me!”

(it happened to me)

wildflowereverie

oh and nevermind bc just like that we are SO back

i was warned and thought “wow! that could never happen to me!”

(it happened to me)

i never have a reason to be scared. it is always okay, someday i will remember this

i will not be the anxious girlfriend i can be normal, everything is fine and i have no real reason to worry. it is okay and i am okay and everything is okay.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

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oh and the anxiety comes creeping back in. a few days of quiet and i’m scared again.

i want a way to verbalize my feelings. to be able to put everything in one clean sentence. to tell you what you mean to me, how much i love you, even if ive been so quiet lately. you have no idea.

and i worry ill never be able to tell you.

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the inner workings of my very chaotic mind