Fuck it I'm Wilde

“No shit, genius,” she rolled her eyes walking behind the two with an annoyed scowl plastered on her face. “I just want to get drunk,” she muttered under her breath as they finally left the apartment building, rubbing her cheek. 

Micah leaned into the boy as he hooked his arm around her, excited to finally be hanging out with the both of them together. “C’mere, grumpy,” she called to Tess, noticing that her friend was falling behind. She grabbed onto her arm and pulled her close, determined to diffuse the tension of Bentley being present. “All in good time, I promise. Just try to enjoy yourself, yea?”

Bentley jokingly asks, “Seems like we’re the three musketeers, huh?”.  “I assume I’m drivng, I mean unless anyone else is eager to drive”, Bentley says smiling towards Micah and Tess. 

A sneeze?

tessfkn:

“Honestly sorry, M. You see Tess you stress her out”, Bentley remarks. Quickly following behind Micah, Bentley catches up and wraps his hand around her walking a few feet in front of her to make it seem like he was leading her somewhere, “Catch on, Micah. I’ve been ahead of you this whole time”. 

Like kidnap me, terrify them for a little and then ask for ransom? That’s not a bad idea but I’m kind of worried that we’d go through all that trouble and they wouldn’t pay to get me back. I’m trying really hard to think of something that’s actually legal because while, yes, how I’d love to piss my parents off but I do not want to deal with the cop shit. A party on top of me getting kidnapped wouldn’t be such a bad idea. The party’s gotta be wild, though. Go big or go home, eh?

Alright alright not bad. When I ‘kidnap’ you, why not have a little fun with it? Make it seem like I’m going to hurt you unless they give money...don’t be worried I can scare them enough that they’ll be begging. Something like in those mystery movies, you know? When the kidnapper shows a video of their ‘victim’ freaking the hell out making it seem like they’re going to get hurt. I wouldn’t hurt you of course. A party’s a great idea. Why not throw a party to enact your fake kidnap, to make it seem like it happened during the wildest party of the year? When the party ends, which I’m sure it would at some point whether your parents kick them out or they all decide to leave, well then it’s my time to freak them out. I wouldn’t do anything illegal of course, just lock a few doors here and there, and turn off the power. I wouldn’t tie them up though, just have a little chat. Cops wouldn’t know, and your parents wouldn’t be able to call them. Once they do get a chance, they’ll already have you back and well, might laugh it off or be really pissed.

I’ve done all that basic stuff. All the parties you can think of and my house’s been trashed on various occasions so I guess they’ve gotten used to that as well. We need something bigger than that, unexpected maybe.

Alright well we can go two routes here. We can make it seem like you’re in “danger” I guess or something like that were you’re well-being is put at risk. Or do something that they totally wouldn’t approve of. Which I mean, I don’t what your parents are like so...What would send your parents off the edge? 

Tess rolls her eyes and pushes Micah off of her, “I will shove you into traffic if you call me that again.” Tess was feisty and the only person she ever really got along with was Micah and she said she would make an effort but she doesn’t really give a shit at this point. “Can we just go, Mikey?” 

“Hey, not nice.” Micah shoots an annoyed glance at Tess and pulls her purse onto her shoulder. “Before we go, I’m gonna lay some ground rules. No complaining, no fighting, and most importantly, no staying sober,” Micah makes a point to make eye contact with the both of them so they understand. “Deal?” 

Bentley looks over at Tess, “Oh, you better watch yourself”. Bentley raises his eyebrows turning towards Micah, “Whatever you say M. Like I said before I can’t make any promises about her”. Bentley smiles and continues to leave his hand out towards Micah, “Don’t worry, I understand. I got this. Now who's ready to party?" 

Nothing specific but they’ve grown used to my old ways so I need something creative. They’re the type that wish they had a little saint of a daughter all the time.

Alright, well our choices aren’t limited here that’s for sure. We can certainly do a lot of things with that. Depends how far you want to go on this really. Drinking, partying, smoking are really just basics, kind of boring. Do you want to go farther than that? Or do you just want to scare your parents a little bit?

I’m looking for a new way to piss my parents off and I was thinking maybe you could help.

Interesting, well I’m always here to help piss parents off. Do you have anything in mind? 

Tess locks her door and walks across the hall, behind Bentley. “So how’d you get roped into a girls night.”A groan escapes her lips as she kicks at the door, “Open up, asshole.”

Micah turns down her radio and sprints to the front door as she hears both her friends outside. “Sorry,” she pants as she unlocks the door and joins them in the hall, greeting them both with a hug. “My music was kinda loud so I didn’t hear you guys the first time. We ready to head out?”

 “Yup totally ready for a G.N.O, best night ever”.  Bentley looks over at Tess, giving her a face and continues, “I mean unless this primadonna over here isn’t”. Bentley then extends his hand out towards Micah to lead the way. 

How good are you at pissing people off?

Depends. But, I’m quite good at it. What do I need to do?

Wasn’t planning on it. In fact, there is one thing you can do for me.

Yeah?

Well, I guess dreams really do come true then. That’s twice now, yeah. When I think of a way, I’ll let you know.

Don’t keep me waiting.

Ha ha, very clever. Whatever helps you sleep at night, big guy. And play nice, I’ll punch you in the dick if you’re an ass to her. Great, then it’s all settled, you’ll be our little guard puppy for the night. How bout you come pick us up from my apartment in half an hour or so and then we can head out? She lives just a couple doors down for me but I’ll try to make it easy on you.

Ooo, alright alright I’ll play nice, but I can’t make any promises if she starts something. Uhh, I guess. I mean that’d probably be the gentleman thing for me to do. See you then, M.

It is a little bit. You went from ruthlessly sarcastic to a soft little puppy. It’s kind of cute. No worries though, your reputation won’t be tarnished. You can thank me later.

Cute, huh? I’ve always dreamed of being compared to a puppy with furry ears and a wagging tail...Thank you though. How ever can I repay you?

I’ve always been a feminist you nerd, it’s not just like it magically happened in these last 30 seconds. Although I can definitely see how you’d have the ability to make women convert to feminism. Who knows, there’s probably also some straight women turned lesbian because of you running around somewhere. 

Well, excuse me for not following your reality show, Keeping Up with Micah. I’m a few episodes behind. Look at that, I’m a people person...spreading my positivity so more love can be shared, it sounds pretty selfless of me when you think about it. I’d be selfish if I just kept them to myself. This book of yours is making me sound like a hero.