Muppet Biology: Grouches & Numerical Vampires
We know that within the Muppetverse (The Muppet Show, Sesame Street…), there are monster Muppets (like Cookie, Elmo, Big Mean Carl…).
Alright. Grouches are a subspecies of these. With a marked evolutionary difference.
Heat-resistant fur (possibly an inverse insulator), cold-resistant as well (the matted fur can trap air, functioning as thermal insulation), and resistant to dirt (there could be a symbiotic relationship with filth; their fur may harbor fungi, bacteria, AND DECOMPOSER MICROBES).
Decomposer microbes break down (yeah, redundant…) the trash in their fur, and in return they get body heat and a constant food source (literally a living compost). They also prevent harmful bacteria from settling in the fur (biological competition, similar to gut flora).
Their relationship with trash is possibly evolutionary.
Their brain recognizes it as a “safe zone,” and biologically their body requires this environment to function.
Inverted sensory system. What is pleasant to us may be uncomfortable or painful to them. The smell of perfume could be too intense or chemical for them. Like smelling concentrated bleach...
They hate sunny days. They prefer enclosed spaces (trash cans). Hypersensitivity to sunlight.
They are capable of digesting rotten food, and their taste buds seem to be adapted to process certain flavors (bitter, sour, rotten) as “positive.”
“Numerical” because The Count is not the only vampire we’ve seen. For example, in The Muppet Show, there are “traditional vampires” (those who feed on blood), like a parody of Dracula.
Something curious is that despite not consuming blood, they still retain their fangs. It could be a vestigial trait.
They feed on numbers. Counting. They don’t really eat, or don’t need to eat per se…
Feeding on numbers could work through “cognitive energy”; the structure of counting activates their “metabolism.”
Alright. I admit it. I don’t know how this makes sense.
Going back to the fangs. EVOLUTIONARY ADAPTATION. Why switch to numbers (if they have fangs it means that at some point they did feed on blood)? Possible environment without access to blood, development of intelligence, discovery of numbers… It basically led to evolving into a species that literally feeds on THE ORDER OF THE UNIVERSE. OF EVERYTHING VISIBLE, TANGIBLE OR AUDIBLE.
Neuro-energetic discharge coupled with the environment. When they finish counting, they enter a state of euphoria—
Forget it. I just remembered there’s an episode where the Count loses his thunder.
I suppose he can also control and manipulate minds…
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