wickedsurrender

So it isn't the lights going out that causes Tessa's heart to stutter in her chest. It's the faces in the windows with sickening smiles that become all the more clear when the inside is as dark as the night beyond them.

"Uh -" She tears her eyes away from the windows to focus on the questions being asked, a twin in search of his reflection. Looking over his face, she shakes her head a bit. "Less handsome than you, huh?" She remarks with a skeptical expression, though it's just a halfhearted attempt at lightening the mood. "I don't know that I've seen anyone fitting of that description, especially when you consider the whole can't see fuck all right now factor. But uh - maybe I can help you look?"

The thoughts were not new, nor did he let them fester normally, but everyone reached the end of their rope at some point and Joel wasn’t one to let life slap him in the ass. For that reason, he was looking forward to this night - to the partying and the drinking. Dayn had been a good enough sport to come along with him, despite his own reservations. The least he could do, in light of the blackout, was to ensure his brother had gotten back. “  Actually, maybe I will take you up on that offer. If you’re not too busy? Four eyes will be faster than two Even in this black hole... I’m Joel, by the way.  ” He squinted through the darkness at the resemblance of her face, “  Did you come by your lonesome?  ”

A small compact mirror was really all that could fit in the tiny handbag she had, and she dabbed a bit of gloss on her lips as she heard a voice from a man behind her. She had positioned herself against the wall somewhat, a quiet observer to all else going on. “About what?” Valentina asked, shutting the compact with a click and giving her full attention to the stranger - where else would she put it? “Spill, handsome, if there’s some sort of gossip in this place, I’d like to be one of the first ones to know.”

The cup Chase had been nursing was on the floor by the couch they sat on, and to his luck it had remained unspilled and still half full of its contents, a murky dark red. He didn’t know what it was made of, and he didn’t want to ask - he figured it was some kind of wine-mixed-with-liquor type of thing, because that’s what he always tasted… but maybe the man beside him had a point. It could have very well been blood of the enemies. As soon as that thought entered his mind, he brushed it off with the slightest breath of a chuckle, thinking that would have been a little too crazy. The settlement crew could get a little crazy, sure, but he didn’t buy into a lot of the rumors. He’d walked in and out of these halls many times with everything still intact, and he was fine.

“Dungeon?” he repeated, a grin blooming on his face. He turned more towards Joel, knee coming up on the couch and leaning an elbow on the back of the couch with a hand propping up his cheek. “You say that like it’s a bad thing, I had a blast.” He cleared his throat a little, and drank the liquor. Chase was well aware of his own limits, and the little bits of that “substance” was wearing off, ready to be replaced by liquor. “Chase Flannery. At your service.”

Taking up a ‘job’ at the diner wasn’t something that Joel would have done back home. He enjoyed cooking, mostly learned as a way to stop asking his mother for attention and later on in life to impress a girl or two, but being in the town they were in. In this… whatever the hell this place was, it seemed like the only useful thing he could contribute. The only thing worthwhile as they all attempted to get through the next day or two. 

Joel shifted position, following the man with his gaze and raised a brow. There was more than enough room for the pair to spread out, but he didn’t question it. He wondered what Chase had taken. If he was still somehow under the influence of whatever drug had turned his night so bright and if Joel would be able to get his hands on some of it. Not for immediate use, but he was curious. “  Joel.  ” he offered in response, finding no need for last names in a place like this, “  You know, I had heard of these drugged out sex parties you guys be having here, but I didn’t think I’d walk into one if I’m being honest. Y’all just swap spit with anyone, or… ? Seems like a perfect excuse to find new bed mates is all, seeing how easily one could get bored of the same bodies back to back.   ”

His eyebrow quirked up past the rim on his glasses as he looked at the younger man, slight amusement that he was at least recognisant, in some backwards way, that he was also a horny fool. "She'll get over it," he settled on saying, his arms uncrossing naturally as he stood from the comfort of his chair and walked over to the lad. "Yer aware they don't got nothin' fo-wah ya at the clinic if ya catch somethin'? Though I reckon a few hours on the saddle should fix ya up just fine."

"Ya look familiar, yer not that bartender, are ya?"

He didn’t let Dayn know, but after learning of the creatures and the way they tortured and played with their victims, Joel began carrying around a pocket knife. If things got real bad, and he had no way of escaping Them well… he’d do it. He’d have to. There was no way he could allow his brother to find him left for death in such a savage way. Guts all but ripped from his torso. Eaten alive, as many have said. If his sentence stemmed from a good fuck, then he’d gladly take it. 

“  No, am not. Close enough, though. That would be my brother, Dayn. I’m Joel.  ” He said with a pat to the man’s shoulder before continuing, “  I think I’ve seen you ‘bout the diner from time to time. I spend a good chunk of my time cooking back there. Keeps me busy. How about you?  ”

Settling into some form of a normal routine, along with having Dayn near, was the only thing that made this place okay. That made it consumable for his distilled mind. The horrors would always be there, but as long as he had Dayn and a plan everything would be alright. Or so he told himself. The things out in the dark… Well, that wasn’t something he could control so it was easier to focus on what he could. 

Especially because Joel hadn’t made it home yet. Dayn waited for awhile, in the event that maybe Joel left quickly after he did and was on his way back to the gas station, but more time had passed and while it could have been one minute or one hour, it still felt like forever and he decided to venture out to look for him. He took the same route that they did hours ago, hoping his brother would think to do the same - how many times had Joel been to the settlement? Dayn never took him there. He’d only been twice himself.

Armed with nothing but his own fists, he kept his hood down so that his peripherals could be of some use, and he barely blinked as he began to walk briskly through the town. It was scary dark, so much so that he could barely see five feet in front of him. If They were out tonight, they were being awfully quiet, and had quite the advantage. “Joel?” he whispered, before hesitating - if he could hear him, what was stopping him from thinking Dayn was one of Them? “It’s me, if you can hear me.” That was lame - but god, it was so dark. How would he tell? 

Something cracked over to his right, and his fist raised on instinct before his pace quickened. “Joel, that better not have been you, now’s not the time for jokes.”

Little help that it’d do, but he had to ensure to get to him before Dayn noticed the light was out. Joel was hoping he was tucked away in bed, already asleep and he’d just need to walk in and do the same. That his brother wasn’t as crazy as he was now, and somehow found himself wandering through the thickening woods in the middle of the night. Not a light in sight - not even the flash of their useless phones. “  Shit.  ” he cussed, as his foot caught in one of the tree branches. Joel was able to halt his fall by reaching for the tree itself and gripping onto its bark. 

Perhaps he should have asked for better directions on his way out, but he had been scared that someone would stop him from going. That he’d be tied down until the morning because they couldn’t understand that he needed to return to his brother. That they couldn’t go through another separation again. 

“  Fucking hell!  ” he cried out as the darkness opened up to a smiling figure before him. Joel’s chest began to pound a mile a second, but he knew better than to let his fear take hold of him. Instead, he backed up from it - ignoring its coaxing words as he dipped and ran around it. Somewhere in the distance he swore his name was called and while it sounded like Dayn, Joel knew those things would stop at nothing to cloud his better judgement. “  No, thank you, Satan!  ”

closed starter for @wickedsurrender

The lights were swirling again, the way they always did when she fell under the influence of the substance. Sometimes, if she pushed the limits a little bit, her vision would split and she would see double. Initially this is what she thought had occurred when the brothers walked into the room. She had heard rumours about Dayn's brother arriving into town, an unfortunate twist of fate for the both of them no doubt. But very very enticing for Nika. It wouldn't be the first pair of twins she would try to collect, nor would it be the last, of this she was certain. Dayn had been less than receptive of her approaches, she wondered if Joel would be any better. She observed him first, as he navigated the settlement hall with the confidence of someone that had been here before, and she waited until Dayn left his side to make her approach.

"You seem like the kind of man that's down for an experience," she stated as she all but glided next to him. Her eyes and body stayed facing the crowd, even if her attention was focused on Joel. "First time at the settlement?"

While he wasn’t sure exactly where or what he’d do for the remainder of the day - having already made his way through the building and met the gazes of a few potential entertainers - Joel found a spot against a wall to people watch. Get a good view and perspective of the people around him, many whom he’d yet to encounter despite his three months in this hell hole. Joel had been informed of the settlement's need for ‘privacy’ or whatever the hell it was, and after his little adventurous trip with Charlie, was only filled with more curiosity about them all. Why separate from everyone else? What was the need for such distance from the town? Segregating themselves to hide away with all their… secrets? Gate keeping their drugs? Joel wasn’t sure, but he was more than a little interested. 

Her voice found him, though with no surprise as Joel’s eyes were too focused to have missed her approach. He did a good job of ignoring her until she spoke though, wanting to gather the vision before him in case he decided to paint the party once he went back. “  What gave you that impression?  ” he asked, eyebrow raised in amusement but the moment he settled on her face he couldn’t help but swallow hard. Something about her felt… strange. Compulsive even, enough to shift his focus all together. “  You could say that. It’s interesting, that’s for sure. I think most of these people are only here to get a good glimpse of this place more than they care for the festivities. But I’m guessing-  ” Joel ran his gaze down her form before he met her eyes again, “  -you know your way around here perfectly.  ”

She bit back the urge to ask Joel if he believed her as heartless as his brother had no doubt painted her to be. "Or I can just get you to pull your pants down now and tell you if it looks the same," she settled on saying instead over her shoulder. It was easier to focus on picking up pinecones than having deep conversations anyway. "I'm kidding by the way." It was a quick addition. "I don't have any interest in knowing what little Joel looks like." A pause and then she pivoted on her feet to face him. "Actually, explain to me the male obsession with penises? Do you have a name for yours or?"

Her eyes averted to seek out more pinecones and she was quick to pick them up and shove them in the pockets of her jacket. "And I know the perfect place to start. Do you know Juno? We had a... run in a week or so ago and... well lets just say I think throwing pinecones at their window would piss them off." Charlie looked in the direction of the settlement and chewed on her bottom lip as she considered the ramifications of doing that. "Actually, I'm kind of hoping to crash in their cabin tonight so... I think we go straight for the top. Do you know who Nika is?"

A shake of his head was the only response when it came to the names she spoke. He’d yet to venture too deep into the settlement, having only accepted Charlie’s offer now because she knew the place - and evidently, the people - well enough to guide him through it. Joel wasn’t frightened by the rumors, but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t raise the hairs on his arms to think about the people there and what they could possibly be doing in order to get through this nightmare. The townies had been only too keen on spreading those stories - they had to come from somewhere, no? Exaggerated as they may sound to his relatively sane mind. “  Straight to the top? Ambitious, aren’t we?  ” he questioned, turning to her with an approving grin. He could tell just why Dayn had been so taken with her. The girl had too much guts to be real. “  Better lace up them boots. They have guard dogs or anything we should watch for? Any one we should watch for?  ”

That didn't even include all the language, the vernacular of the charges brought against Arthur. His parents weren’t the ones to sit him down and elaborate on what it all meant, matching charge to punishment. It was a lawyer and a child psychologist, and then days later, when he was alone, looking up online what it all meant. He hadn’t wanted to talk about it - it was bad, he knew it was, and the severity of just how bad didn’t come for a few years. By then, he had barely spoken of it anyway and had made a pact with himself that it was better left buried. Maybe there was some sort of instinct in him to shield his brother from that - no matter how close they were, how quickly Joel entered the world after him, he still referred to him as a little brother, that sensitive kid on the playground drawing with chalk instead of playing kickball with the rest. Dayn had grown up too quick, and quicker still after he had escaped, as if he was making up for lost time. There was almost a competition-like aspect of it, to prove to other people he was fine - more than fine, pursuing physical relationships, sneaking into concerts, anything that struck him - and it granted him more than a few run-ins with the city police. 

The inner turmoil swirling around him then dissipated some when he saw Joel stand and move over towards his bed. Somehow, even before he opened it from the way it was folded, Dayn knew what it was. His eyes shut, and a long exhale left him before he could help himself. That letter; that godforsaken letter that got the both of them stranded here. Arthur had to just take one more thing from him, didn’t he? The words surprised him though. “You didn’t? Why?” Respect where it was earned, but Dayn would have read it all. Even if it hurt. He poured over every line, one at a time, for days until it was time to read it aloud; it was practically memorized by this point, and he wondered where Joel decided to stop, when it got too much to stomach.

This simple piece of paper felt heavy in Dayn’s hand, so he extended it back to Joel. “Read the rest of it?” he asked. Maybe it was for the best, that it was an opening sort of bridge that Dayn couldn’t stomach to say out loud. If the basics were covered, maybe he’d feel okay enough to continue on, and to answer long dormant questions. “It does matter, and it’s fine. It got us here, so you might as well know why.” A long pause, and Dayn couldn’t quite look him in the eye just yet. “You can read it. And then you can ask me stuff. I can’t promise it won’t piss me off or whatever, but you can.” For him, he'd try. "Or if you have nothing to ask you can yell at me for keeping quiet, I'll take that, too."

In the time it had taken for Joel to find Dayn again, he had run through this interaction countless times. Each and every time he attempted to piece together the reasoning behind breaking his brother’s trust, he came up empty. There was no reason other than his sheer need to know more. To understand and find ways to help Dayn in whatever way he could during a time when things were so incredibly difficult. “  I guess, I just wanted to do more…  ” was all he allowed himself to say. Let Dayn come up with his own thoughts on what that meant. Being on the outside their entire lives, Joel tended to avoid asking prying or what he would consider to be risqué questions. Avoiding all topics that would link back to him. 

Looking at the letter now, he couldn’t help but shake his head, though he did reach for it and folded it, tucking it into his pants back pocket. Having already had a go at reading it while he’d been alone, he couldn’t imagine the emotional battle Dayn would go through if he read it before him when the mere thought of Joel getting his hands on it had driven him away. In the end, it wasn’t reading the letter that he’d been after. It wasn’t even knowing the full traumatic experience his brother had endured. Joel had simply wanted for Dayn to want to tell him. Not because he needed to know, or because he asked to be told, or even because they were meant to know each other more than anyone else knew them. He wanted Dayn to want to share with him. 

“  I’m not mad at you for keeping quiet, Dayn.  ” he said pointedly, though how valid the words were, Joel couldn’t define. “  But I also don’t want to press for information you’re not ready to approach. We have nothing but time, and more than a bit of it by the looks of it.  ” he went to say, pointing at their enclosed surroundings and the lack of fresh air throughout the night. “  We’ll figure it out.  ”

END

Instead, he toned down his answer. "I always wanted to write one of those great American novels," he said, which was true. "I'm not quite sure what that would be, though, as that covers a lot of ground and can sort of be anything. I would just love to write something that would become an instant classic of its time." The world moves awfully fast for something like that, though. And that wasn't even mentioning the crushing imposter syndrome he constantly experienced.

Holly used to describe her pieces similarly, but they were often in run on sentences where her excitement got the best of her, and she didn't know what to talk about first. The minds of artists they shared, who had something of a second sight when it came to how they viewed the world. Ben could let his imagination run away sometimes, but that was an entirely different gift. "I think it's cool," Ben offered, handing the work back to him. "I think sometimes it's interesting to see how others view you. Maybe you notice something I don't. What else do you see?"

“  Do you have a particular genre in mind? A target audience, perhaps?  ” he went on to ask, finding that to be the gateway to understanding Benjamin further. If the plans were to make it big - to get there no matter the climb - then certainly there had to be a system set in stone. When Joel thought of classics, great minds like that of Dickens and Shakespeare stood out. The Bronte sisters with their need to challenge social norms with their blatant portrayal of desire and betrayal, sexual politics and revenge. 

He reached to take back the wet canvas, placing it back before him for another look. This time he looked for meaning within the piece itself. Not just Ben’s aura, but what the strokes told him. “  It would be easy to misconstrued your emotion as you stare up at the crows. I don’t think it’s fear exactly, it feels more like acknowledgement of what is. Of the world as a whole, and - if you notice - you’re not cowering from them. Maybe that could be because you feel you’ve been through worse… or believe yourself to withstand any storm.  ”

The questions were endless, and while he could have easily aired them out for the two of them to pounce and ponder over, he could tell the day was getting to her. The way she sunk into the mattress almost weighed down by gravity. He’d seen enough injuries on her person to know she’d gone through some rough patches the last few days, if not the last few months. Bags prominently adorned her face - taking claim over her dazzling greyish-blue eyes. Reyna’s smile effortlessly broke through the tiredness though, showing him a glimpse of what he could only assume was the person that hid inside. If a little self deprecating joke was all it took for him to find her, then Joel wasn’t above making himself a fool. 

“  Well seasoned, then? I’m not opposed to that. ” he said after a moment’s thoughts, then turned accusingly towards her - gathering his lack of theatrics and embracing the role of Shrek, “ You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burdens. Ogres are like onions!  ” He could have gone further into character, just to get another laugh from her, however he was someone who feasted on other’s energy. Oftentimes taking and returning it tenfold, but he could tell she needed some rest and having accomplished what he had set out to, Joel bid her farewell. “  Thank you for entertaining me... I best get back. I think my lunch break was over twenty minutes ago. " he rose to his feet, "  Oh - and uh, thanks. For the rolls. You'll have to keep coming around to see how it pans out. ” Joel grinned at her, giving her a wink before he made his exit.

THE END

Phantom feelings were about as trustworthy as every other half-baked scheme and sight blurred by exhaustion, but sometimes worth the nostalgia over their trouble. The gas station had been abandoned long before Logan’s arrival, yet the lingering fumes of gasoline would likely make the location reek decades after she was long gone. The leftover pungency was especially noticeable given the scentless and motionless quality of the air; previously prevalent wet earth and rotting organic matter no longer as traceable hidden beneath the cover of frozen banks. The fuel's rancid odour brought with it a haze tinged by memories; an urgent escape taken after sunset, ice cold keys and bloodied handkerchiefs, headlights on evergreens, leather interiors and artificial air fresheners shaped like trees. Her stomach churned in protest, but the station was one of the last places she had to check-in on before resuming her clinical routine for the next few weeks lest another natural ( or unnatural ) disaster occur and demand greater hands-on attention.

Stepping across the outer perimeter of the place, Logan willed her breathing to shallow as she passed the rusted pumps. She knocked on the living quarters’ door, three deliberate strikes, to announce her arrival in a manner which would not betray her tentativeness. About month prior she had vaguely alluded to dropping by sometime in the weeks ahead — to which twin she'd relayed this to, she could not be be 100% certain — in an effort to take stock of the weather's impact upon any residents’ regular rhythms and perform damage control as needed. With several structural cave ins, she also wondered after the integrity keeping any remaining structures upright. “You home?” Thawing chunks of ice dripped slowly from the eaves above, forcing her to take a half step backwards as she awaited an answer. Often finding herself in such a position, knocking on doors unsolicited, she lightly bit the inside of her cheek against a smirk. "If you let me in, I promise I'll spare you the Lord, Savior, Jesus Christ spiel."

Joel glanced at the female, taking a moment to run his eyes through as he attempted to place her. She looked much more familiar than she sounded though, that was for sure. Probably one of the diner's frequent, though he did tend to get lost in his work - often forgetting about the people inside altogether. “  Can I help you?  ” his smile quickly followed as her earlier words finally settled, “  I can’t say I’ve ever been religious but for you, I just might give it my best try.  ” A joke, for the most part, but he did take note of her pretty face. The way her sunken greyish eyes ghostly complimented the tan on her flesh… there was much to gauge and admire on the surface of her skin, but he did wonder if within she’d be just as clean. Haunting and alluring 'til the floor beneath them ceased to exist. “  Is my brother okay?  ” he asked soon after, remembering the urgency in his steps only moments earlier.

At the same token, he shouldn’t have been surprised that Joel picked up on his brooding over the last few days - there was a brief relief that had swept over him when the brothers talked things through, only for that tense in his shoulders to come right back. And in turn, Dayn knew his brother well enough to know that he was barely keeping it together, like he was putting together puzzle pieces of the bare minimum and practically giddy at the thought of embarrassing his brother. Please, Joel, do it any other time but now–

No avail. Dayn had laughed along at first, a “friendly” hand on Joel’s collar that snaked too close and squeezed too tight near his windpipe, a not-so-subtle silencer that also didn’t work - he slid out of his grip too easily, and Dayn would have been too conspicuous otherwise. He was already on the losing side here, thinking he could have mended things by an introduction, but now he feared he just made things worse. He didn’t want her to know how much he’d been thinking about her, how much their last words bounced around in his memory - almost as much as the feeling of being wrapped around her, pushed against her, in her. “Never ever refer to yourself as fine or tight when you’re around me ever again, please - it would mean a lot to me."

That motherfucker; Dayn knew what he was doing moving away so quickly. “You know, there’s a weird shadow on your face, man, it looks like you’re gonna have a black eye tomorrow.” A warning, and a purposefully obvious one. But it was Charlie’s words that drew focus - she wouldn’t be at the bar anymore? He should have guessed by now, but that was the last lifeline he had; he couldn’t lose it. “You are?” A quick reset. First, to Joel:  “You would make a horrible doctor, for one.” Then: “And I did offer, for the record. For you to crash for a few days, I mean, just because the station wasn’t– is it fine now, or where are you…?” *// @charliexclayton @wickedsurrender

Charlie looked away from the brothers, tuning out their nonsensical banter to remind herself as to why she had pulled away from Dayn in the first place, his scars etched into her mind and this place taking him from her. While it had been painful to keep her distance, to sneak out before he ever arrived at the bar, to avoid him knowing she had hurt him, it had been necessary. I can't want you, she wanted to say, knowing that she did anyway. Charlie felt her head spin and she took a couple of stuttered steps backwards before grabbing onto the edge of the bar.

He looked at her then, spoke to her. She hated the way her heart stuttered and suffered at his attention. "It's fine. Or, it will be. Just... um.. Jude is fixing up the door today so." Despite herself, she added, almost like Joel wasn't there, "I didn't think you'd want me to. Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't kicked me out of here after..." A glance in Joel's direction, and she trailed off as she caught up to the conversation. So, Dayn hadn't even bothered to tell his twin brother about her. "Oh, right," she said, throat suddenly thick. She thought of her honesty, admitting to her fears, showing her scars, telling him about Reyna. She thought of the careless way she had handed her heart to him, how easily he had misinterpreted her care, how they would do nothing but destroy each other if she let them. "I guess we don't really know each other, do we." @thcmpscns @wickedsurrender

Had he not already felt the grip Dayn had on his collar, Joel would have easily gotten away with his tongue. One too many jokes at the ready. “  Just cause you can’t claim the same.  ” he said, holding back his laughter at his own tight ass comment as he moved further away from the pair. He knew all he needed to do was start a conversation about something - anything else - to disturb and distract the pair, but he found no amusement there. Besides, life was too short - even shorter in Arcadia based on what he’d heard - so he’d much better enjoy the bit of entertainment his brother and Charlie provided him with. 

Having found himself a clean enough cup to fill with the bottle’s contents, Joel sipped back his drink and watched the pair. Glancing between one and the other, as if waiting to see which one would break first. Who would reach for the other, or end up walking away in despair. His own untelevised soap opera. The only thing missing from the moment itself was the popcorn or mike and ikes. Later on in the night, when the two had nowhere to run to escape the conversation, Joel would investigate the meaning of this. Find out whatever he could about the tension he saw dance between Charlie and Dayn. // @thcmpscns