The Gospel of Filik

Hi everyone, I’ve been inactive for a while. Mostly because I’ve just not had much to say recently, however I had some 3 AM thoughts recently I wanted to get out, because why not.

Specifically it’s regarding analogies. Specifically two analogies about the same topic.

People make the argument for why male and female promiscuity are unequal with two analogies.

On the side of promiscuous females are bad, but male promiscuity is good you have the key argument.

“A key that opens any lock is a master key, but a lock that can be opened by any key is a bad lock” with the key of course being representative of a man (werman? I’m still trying this) and the lock being a woman.

Someone pointed out the folly of this argument with a counter analogy that positions female promiscuity being good and male promiscuity being bad.

“A pencil sharpener that sharpens every pencil is useful. A pencil that let itself be sharpened by every sharpener is a tiny useless nub”

Obviously pencil is analogous to the werman or let’s be clear here both analogies are actually representative of both the individual’s gender as well as their genitalia... Anyway... I’m sure most people have heard the first and some the second and I know that the second is technically making the same point I’m about to make.

The point being that both of these analogies are terrible. Analogous arguments in general don’t really work unless the analogy is 1:1. So for this argument the analogy would have to actually fit on a 1:1 scale.

So let’s focus on genitalia. What do both genitals do? The penis goes in somewhere and the vagina takes something in. Houses it for a time perhaps.

So let’s thing about it in terms of something more applicable. Wermen are guests and women are hotels.

So... What happens if you get a person who visits multiple hotels? Nothing... They’re just a frequent traveller...

What about a hotel that accepts lots of guests? It’s just a very good hotel.

What about a person who only uses one hotel. They’re just a loyal customer who knows what they like.

A hotel that only takes certain guests. Well they’re just a very exclusive hotel probably nice and friendly and just not interested in anything more. A bed and breakfast perhaps or a simple inn with only a couple of rooms available.

What about a hotel owner that stays at another hotel? One could call that disloyalty, but that would be stupid. Even a hotel owner needs a vacation and there’s nothing wrong with them staying at a different hotel

and likewise there’s nothing wrong with staying over at a friends house.

or just staying at home. 

Now there are two points I’m trying to make here. Analogies are a stupid way to make an argument, because you could twist almost any analogy to make your point, but also that I dislike both previous arguments because they both involve some amount of slutshaming and also implicitly imply wrongness in certain areas if you try to stretch the analogy. Ie in the first and second analogy. Pencils cannot be sharpened by other pencils and keys cannot open other keys. Locks can’t unlock other locks either and sharpeners can’t sharpen other sharpeners and it also implies a necessity of use. A pencil that is never sharpened or a lock that is never opened are pretty useless.

This analogy I made can be stretched to point out what I believe to be true. There is nothing wrong with promiscuity male or female, there is nothing wrong with male or female homosexuality and there’s nothing wrong with asexuality... Or masturbation however you want to interpret the staying home analogy. I guess.

Sex is a good thing. There’s nothing wrong with liking it as long as you are careful and make sure it’s what you want to do. There is nothing wrong with promiscuity no matter who you are as long as it’s what you want to do and you’re not like cheating on someone or something of course.

They say ignorance is bliss and sometimes I look around and I think yeah maybe so... Would it be so bad to close my eyes and ears to the problems of the world and just focus on some stupid nonsensical shit that entertains me without making me feel depressed, guilty, concerned or angry? Probably not, but then thinking that... Thinking about not paying attention to these stories that represent the plights of others. Makes me feel selfish and guilty. Ignorance may be bliss, but ignorance is also selfishness and being uninformed is wrong especially if it’s willful.

Is it possible to be happy now? I can’t feel happy when I see so much suffering and even things that seem good and that I was happy about I’m told are causing more problems. I can’t feel happy when I close my eyes and ignore the suffering and problems and feel guilty about ignoring the pain of others. I can’t help anyone, but it’s still wrong not to watch them hurt. So, I have to watch and feel bad.

Even this might get me in trouble...

“You’re complaining about being forced to be aware of the suffering of others, you selfish prick...” I can’t argue with that... It’s true.

I could say that it’s not like people have to be forced to know my suffering... but the response there...

“Oh what suffering? Your suffering is nothing compared to the suffering of (insert maligned group or individual who definitely has more cause to be upset than I do)” Okay yeah that’s fair...

People say if you’re good at something you shouldn’t let that talent go to waste no matter what it is. Even if it’s stupid... Especially if it’s stupid. As such I am announcing The Department of Fictazoology. Name subject to change if someone comes up with something better.

To explain Fictazoology is the study of Fictional creatures. This is not cryptozoology the study of yet unproven (Read: they don’t exist, but we hope/wish they do/did) creatures. No this is the study of specifically fictitious creatures. Things we know are false. Specifically creatures that exist in fiction. 

The idea for this sprang forth sometime ago when as a joke I began to describe the breeding methods of various enemy creatures from the mario series of games. I was, at least in my opinion and those listening, very good at coming up with humorous, but plausible ideas for how these creatures procreate. Something I suspect, and hope, the creators had never put thought into themselves. So, I decided to widen my repertoire. Send me in a creature from any fictional series, that does not already have any sort of zoological dissertation on it of course, and I shall tell you all sorts of zoological factoids about the creature that I have made up, but that will I am sure be plausible. There is absolutely no limit aside from the one stated above on what creature you can send in. I do not have to know the series in fact if I know nothing about it I assume that will only make it more fun.

I will also when I can be bothered begin putting up my first few Fictazoological dissertations on the various mario creatures in the coming days/weeks/months/years/decades...

This isn’t an attempt to brag or boast, but there are usually not many things about human nature and human social dynamics that I cannot understand, but I fail to understand this Nazis are people too thing going around... Like I’m not here to weigh in on this. Other people have made any point I could make far better than I could, but when did Nazis stop being the enemy?

For years Nazis have been the one enemy that we could put in a game or movie and show getting gunned down in waves without anyone complaining, because Nazis were the closest thing we had in the real world to a true evil. Their not complex villains with good motivations or sympathetic backstories. Their ideals are evil and hatred. They are constantly depicted not as thinking feeling creatures but as like... Mindless monsters of hatred and death. Whether that portrayal is right or not is not the point. The question of dehumanizing Nazis and whether it’s a good idea is not the point. The point is we already were dehumanizing them. We’ve been dehumanizing them since some fiction creator needed a villain no one would bitch about seeing killed.