so much of late 2000s music was like “we falling in love... in this club... we’re all family... in this club.... we’re having the time of our lives... in this club” like wtf we gotta get back to the club !!!

Women cum first 2019

Unfortunately I just have little idoiot bastard syndrome and it makes me say dumb things

Burning of the Library at Alexandria vs Tumblr Purge of 2018

it is so funny how life is just whatever. it’s hilarious. life is so regimented all the way through high school and then after that you just do literally whatever it’s all just whatever. you’re like “should i do this?” and everyone you know is like “just do whatever” absolutely incredible. that can’t be real

shoutout to my coworker for thinking that “illuminati” and “alumnae” meant the same thing and absolutely destroying everyone in the room when he casually dropped the sentence “i get a discount there because i’m an illuminati” into the conversation

i just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson 

that post was right i wouldn’t have a sense of humor without spongebob. its still some of the goddamn funniest shit i’ve ever seen. spongebob almost dying because he’s too polite to ask for a glass of water at sandy’s house. mr. krabs and spongebob killing the health inspector. smittywerbenjagermenjensen. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. every morning I break my legs. and every afternoon I break my arms.” the perfume department on the flying dutchman’s boat. that time spongebob cleared his mind to be a fine dining waiter and forgot his own name because that’s how customer service just BE. the ugly barnacle that was so ugly everyone DIED. the END. the one where squidward buys a pie but it’s actually a bomb. and the MUSICAL numbers like??? the fun song. the christmas song. tony award winning song “this grill is not a grill”. the entire band geeks episode like…this is all from the top of my head!!!!! just from the top of my head!!! there’s so much more!!! thank god for stephen and all the laughs i’ve had because of him.

I want a time machine to take me back to Atlantic City during the prohibition era so I can suck a D*ck. I would be the baddest btch cos nobody sucked dick back then it was like some Parisian brothel shit. They would give me a Pulitzer Prize

this generation so obsessed with their phones that they dont even bother to look at each others cocks anymore well IM NOT HAVING IT

the Gentle Alien is excited for Crimes