Time sponges @time-sponges - Tumblr Blog

I’ve been putting testosterone into the water supply l

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pangur-and-grim

I hate when you yawn and you spurt saliva like a serpent

time-sponges

I like when I do this mines powerful

feldfrog

(If I was at the roast of Kevin Hart)

Pete Davidson is here! Pete’s dated Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian, EmRata, and many others

(Turn to Pete)

Hey Pete! All of those memories are now but ash in the sands of time

kaylmao

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

Genuinely what kind of spam text is this

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dogpuppy

Why is everybody always trying to win all the time wtf is wrong with you bitches?

I genuinely hate the internet. Had I been born pre this era I’d probably be on a farm with ripped muscles and a deep reverence for the uninterrupted night sky

I wonder what the average human suck force is

I’d hate to know that I’m below average

all-mammal-creechur

Proboscis Bat Rhynchonycteris naso

It is found from southern Mexico to Belize, Peru, Venezuela, Bolivia and Brazil, as well as in Trinidad. The bats are nocturnal, sleeping during the day in an unusual formation: most of them line up, one after another, on a branch or wooden beam, nose to tail, in a straight row.

In the photo, the two bats on the lower left are carrying young.

img source

all-mammal-creechur

I really love how dedicated these guys are to queuing.

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nextlevelsmp3

when I eat jerky I feel bad for the animal

Because If I died and they chose my body to be meat I’d personally feel disrespected if they made me into jerky

Baby If you’re going to be slow with it At least Crock pot me for a few hours with some carrots and onions

Enjoy me don’t turn me into the hard tack of meals Jesus Christ

cannibalchicken

mevil

malojasnake

— Sunrise, by Louise Glück

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time-sponges

The rules of ice cream shops are unique

If I went into a deli and asked them for one spoonful of every soup they’ve got they’d say no

time-sponges

Me at the hospital asking to test out every needle

time-sponges

“Umm yess doctor now let’s try your longest syringe mamas being baaad”