A Collection Of Things That Once Brought Peace

In the late days of April when spring was just ending I went to the river and laid in juniper plants I tried absolving myself, put my feet in the dirt, Felt sick with the worry of what would come next Then tomorrow did come very regularly It made me realize that there's nothing new And the disappointment, I fear, is continual And it never will leave you – it still hasn't left me The trees stretch out their arms toward the sun But always fall short their roots in the ground Their ambitions are lost to the graces of the wind That swell and decay

And this pattern never ends No resolution in view The helplessness will consume you Then cycle back again

And I think I believe that there is no truth Every moment that starts has an eventual end I pass empty churches on my way to work Where hope was promised then later lost There's this dream that I have where you're there beside me Then suddenly you're gone and I hear your voice say "The nights got too long, I had to leave," Then I fall down a rabbit hole surrounded by weeds

And then I wake up And my rooms still looks the same The moon at my window Filling up the space

You spent one summer with golden light at your back And slept with a girl who's still in your veins You tried to forget her in a brand new city But saw her face in every person you'd meet And remember how her hair looked and how she spoke But not the way her lips curled when she felt like dying On bedroom floors in teenage summers skipping meals She's never quite been the same

And so it all comes back, And then leaves you again There's nothing you can do No, there's nothing you can do

But I once knew a girl who slept in a flowerbed To surround herself with life and feel it all grow Then her hair grew long – she forgot all of language She was free of it all – free of us all Now I never see her anymore but I like to imagine The dark, soft soil damp from the rain Her warm body laying there with laughter in the air The sun high above and petals in her hair

The days bleed together 'till you can't remember Where one day ends and the other begins You swore there was a line but now you've lost it The contours blurred, just vague memories But I think I believe that all hope is lost No matter how I struggle it'll all end the same It'll all be remembered as a single moment A silhouetted sunset drive

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