Hey Im Zach

This “preferences as a sexuality” thing needs to stop, man. People attracted to tall people aren’t “acrosexuals”, people attracted to green eyes aren’t “viridioculasexual” or some equally-butchered word. You’re… you’re allowed to just say “I like tall girls with green eyes” or whatever. That’s something you can just…do.

Britney omg why

Honestly, Britney Spears seems like an excellent mom.

I remember her taking pre-algebra classes to understand her sons’ homework

that pelvic thrust is so vicious

go AWF

Mother fuckin’ Jim Carrey

this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen

what do you call someone who smokes two marijuanas

double jointed

what do you call someone who smokes three marijuanas

remember that episode of gravity falls where stan was asked what he would do to educate kids and he said “simple, put them on an island and make them fight for dominance. also teach kids swears, that’ll bring them into the real world.”? that’s izumi

Why. Won’t. This. DIE.

“I AINT NEED A VINE TO WHIP YA ASS”