idk give me a minute

of course the wife line as the reference photo save me laura stacey save me mpp 🙏🙏

Posting Order

All-Stars 2011

It’s Ilya’s turn to roll his eyes. Enough of this beating around the bush, he decides. “So you are still with…?” 

He lets the sentence hang between them unfinished. Hollander will catch on quickly; their last off-ice conversation about his secret boyfriend is still fresh in Ilya’s memory despite the months that have passed. He has no doubt this is even more true for Hollander.

2007: Shane meets Brian at a party

Shane’s never been to a college party before but some of his older teammates on his U18 team insisted he come along. They want to teach him how to loosen up, and Shane’s not sure if they mean it as a favor or if they want to see him embarrass himself. 

The party is loud and uncomfortable, and everyone keeps insisting that Shane drink. Brian finds him there, alone in the crowd, lost and a little bit miserable, teammates scattered around in the wind.

2012: Ilya takes Shane back to his place for a chat after a Boston/Montreal game

“Cheer the fuck up,” Ilya calls, grinning when Hollander startles at his voice. “You should be used to losing to me by now.”

“Which one of us won the Calder, again?” Hollander asks, pocketing his phone. 

Ilya’s grin widens. He thinks he must be one of the only people in the world who knows what a bitch Shane Hollander can be. What a privilege.

2012: Ilya tells Sveta about "Jane" and "her" shitty boyfriend

It was her third short-lived relationship of the year. Sveta suffers from an unfortunate combination of high standards and terrible taste in men. It makes Ilya think of Hollander, who has the same trash taste but none of Sveta’s good judgment. 

Maybe Ilya could use her advice.

2013: Shane visits Ilya's place again after a game that Svetlana attended

It gets to a point where they’re texting almost daily. It’s almost like they’re friends, which is what gives Ilya the courage to suggest they hang out after a game again. 

Hollander accepts. They play video games and talk shit, and it’s fun, even though it’s not what Ilya’s been chasing Hollander for since they did that CCM commercial. At one point Ilya brings up Hollander’s boyfriend, only to get roundly shut down, and well. Message received.

2014: Brian tells Shane he wants to open up the relationship

Shane is determined for tonight to go well. He got food delivered from Brian’s favorite restaurant and picked up a bottle of his favorite wine to pair it with. He even busted out the candles. He’s not the best boyfriend, he knows, but he can at least show Brian that he’s trying.

MLH Awards 2014 part 1

Ilya spent the past week trying not to read into it but right now, he can’t remember why. Obviously, Hollander came to his senses and dumped his loser boyfriend, and he’s finally going to take Ilya up on his offer to fuck. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

Maybe Ilya is a little bit blinded by his winner’s high. But he’s also right, he knows it. Tonight is for getting everything he’s ever wanted, a feast to keep him sated through the lean summer weeks in Russia.

MLH Awards 2014 part 2

He’s never even admitted it to himself, how badly he’s wanted Ilya Rozanov, in a way he didn’t know he could want men who weren’t his boyfriend. The words slip easily from his tongue now, the shame that’s always accompanied that want a distant memory.

2007/2009/2012: Shane's first overnight with Brian, as well as Shane POV on how he is hiding it from his parents

Shane nods, guilt simmering in his gut at how easily Mom believes him. It’s because he’s never given her reason to doubt, never gotten in the kind of trouble other guys on the team and in his grade get into on a regular basis.

At least ask me some follow-up questions, Shane wants to shout, but he doesn’t. Obviously. He doesn’t actually want to be caught in a lie.

2014: Ilya POV: Shane and Ilya hook up after games

“Oh.” Hollander’s expression twists, lips tugging in a frown. “No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t tell me about other people, either. I don’t wanna know.”

“Sound healthy,” Ilya says dryly.

“Fuck you. Don’t you need to have been in a relationship to know what a healthy one looks like?”

Ilya resists the urge to tell Hollander that his relationship is so dysfunctional, a blind dog could see it. He doesn’t feel like being thrown out of bed just yet.

2014: Shane freaks out the morning after MLH awards; Shane and Brian several months after Brian opens the relationship

He thinks about telling Brian about Rozanov, but he’s not sure what the rules are. Brian hasn’t told him about anyone he’s fucked or is thinking about fucking. Maybe Shane should wait for him to bring it up. Brian hates it when he pesters him for constant clarification, and Shane doesn’t want to ruin his good mood. Better to just follow his lead and work through the rest of it on his own.

Besides, if Brian doesn’t know about Rozanov, he can’t tell Shane not to sleep with him again. Shane can’t pretend that’s not a little bit of a factor.

2015: Ilya and Shane at All-Stars (Ilya POV)

It makes Ilya want to claw his skin off a little bit, thinking about how long it's been since he last saw Shane Hollander naked. Knowing that in his absence, Hollander's boyfriend has been fucking him regularly, erasing the memory of Ilya's touch and replacing it with his own.

2015: Ilya and Shane at All-Stars (Shane POV)

It's difficult enough to turn Rozanov down for anything before they're in bed. Once they're actually naked, Shane has discovered there's pretty much nothing he doesn't want Rozanov to do to him.

2015: Hanging with Hayden

Hayden doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't push. It's one of the things that make him so easy to be friends with. He'll ask after Shane, try to set him up on dates, but he never pushes after the first no.

Sometimes Shane wishes he would, a little bit. It's not like he could tell Hayden anything, but if Hayden pushed, if he made Shane talk, it would at least release some of the pressure. It wouldn't be worth the fallout but it would at least be some kind of relief.

2015: Seeing Ilya After All-Stars

Shane doesn't think he's alone in feeling that something has changed. Rozanov doesn't mouth off during the face off like usual but he smiles when Shane meets his eyes, small and private. Shane finds himself smiling back, despite the conflicting feelings in his chest. It's impossible not to, with the way Rozanov is looking at him.

2015: continuation of previous scene, Ilya POV

His eyes flicker over Brian, curious and disdainful. He's handsome, Ilya supposes, or he would be to a person who knew less about his ugly personality. Tall and fit, his dark hair carefully styled and his face clean shaven. He's wearing a tailored suit, tie loosened around his neck. The way he's standing, it's clear he's using every bit of the tiny height advantage he has to tower over Shane.

Ilya hates him.

2015: continuation of previous scene, Shane POV

"I told you to find a guy to hook up with, not a second boyfriend!" Brian snaps, finally looking up. "Since last June, Shane? Why the fuck did you think that was okay?"

Shane flushes, stomach clenching tightly. He feels guilty and angry in equal measures, and above all confused about what he should be feeling. Brian has something of a point - if Shane really wasn't doing anything wrong, why would he be feeling like he just got caught?

2015: Ilya goes to NYC specifically to hook up with Shane

In hindsight, bragging to Shane's boyfriend about how he planned to steal him away right as Ilya was about to go three months without seeing him off the ice was maybe not the smartest move.

2015: Playoffs

This is probably why he feels so annoyed when he comes home and Brian is already there, sitting on the couch and waiting for Shane. For the second time this week.

They've never spent time together during playoffs before and Brian has never pushed for it. He may not like hockey but he understands Shane's dedication to it.

Shane knows things are different between them this year - especially after the confrontation with Rozanov - but he still thought Brian got it. Their relationship exists in a world apart from hockey and during playoffs, Shane needs to stay in the world where he's Shane Hollander, Captain of the Montreal Metros. Any distractions, even nice ones, are not acceptable.

2015 playoffs: final game

Shane's not dwelling on it, though. His mind feels razor sharp. A kind of calm descended over him in their first game against the Drillers that has yet to lift. He knows what he has to do to win, and knows he's capable of it, too. Knows his team is capable.

The night before the last game, Brian calls.

2008-2014: Brian POV

Not that the first time is all that great but, you know. It's the first time. It's gonna get better. And it's already intoxicating, the way Shane gets afterwards, loose and pliant in his arms and looking at Brian with so much adoration in his eyes. No one has ever looked at Brian that way before, like he's someone who's easy to love.

In-Universe Timeline Order

2007: Shane meets Brian at a party

Shane’s never been to a college party before but some of his older teammates on his U18 team insisted he come along. They want to teach him how to loosen up, and Shane’s not sure if they mean it as a favor or if they want to see him embarrass himself. 

The party is loud and uncomfortable, and everyone keeps insisting that Shane drink. Brian finds him there, alone in the crowd, lost and a little bit miserable, teammates scattered around in the wind.

2007/2009/2012: Shane's first overnight with Brian, as well as Shane POV on how he is hiding it from his parents

Shane nods, guilt simmering in his gut at how easily Mom believes him. It’s because he’s never given her reason to doubt, never gotten in the kind of trouble other guys on the team and in his grade get into on a regular basis.

At least ask me some follow-up questions, Shane wants to shout, but he doesn’t. Obviously. He doesn’t actually want to be caught in a lie.

2008-2014: Brian POV

Not that the first time is all that great but, you know. It's the first time. It's gonna get better. And it's already intoxicating, the way Shane gets afterwards, loose and pliant in his arms and looking at Brian with so much adoration in his eyes. No one has ever looked at Brian that way before, like he's someone who's easy to love.

All-Stars 2011

It’s Ilya’s turn to roll his eyes. Enough of this beating around the bush, he decides. “So you are still with…?” 

He lets the sentence hang between them unfinished. Hollander will catch on quickly; their last off-ice conversation about his secret boyfriend is still fresh in Ilya’s memory despite the months that have passed. He has no doubt this is even more true for Hollander.

2012: Ilya takes Shane back to his place for a chat after a Boston/Montreal game

“Cheer the fuck up,” Ilya calls, grinning when Hollander startles at his voice. “You should be used to losing to me by now.”

“Which one of us won the Calder, again?” Hollander asks, pocketing his phone. 

Ilya’s grin widens. He thinks he must be one of the only people in the world who knows what a bitch Shane Hollander can be. What a privilege.

2012: Ilya tells Sveta about "Jane" and "her" shitty boyfriend

It was her third short-lived relationship of the year. Sveta suffers from an unfortunate combination of high standards and terrible taste in men. It makes Ilya think of Hollander, who has the same trash taste but none of Sveta’s good judgment. 

Maybe Ilya could use her advice.

2013: Shane visits Ilya's place again after a game that Svetlana attended

It gets to a point where they’re texting almost daily. It’s almost like they’re friends, which is what gives Ilya the courage to suggest they hang out after a game again. 

Hollander accepts. They play video games and talk shit, and it’s fun, even though it’s not what Ilya’s been chasing Hollander for since they did that CCM commercial. At one point Ilya brings up Hollander’s boyfriend, only to get roundly shut down, and well. Message received.

2014: Brian tells Shane he wants to open up the relationship

Shane is determined for tonight to go well. He got food delivered from Brian’s favorite restaurant and picked up a bottle of his favorite wine to pair it with. He even busted out the candles. He’s not the best boyfriend, he knows, but he can at least show Brian that he’s trying.

MLH Awards 2014 part 1

Ilya spent the past week trying not to read into it but right now, he can’t remember why. Obviously, Hollander came to his senses and dumped his loser boyfriend, and he’s finally going to take Ilya up on his offer to fuck. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

Maybe Ilya is a little bit blinded by his winner’s high. But he’s also right, he knows it. Tonight is for getting everything he’s ever wanted, a feast to keep him sated through the lean summer weeks in Russia.

MLH Awards 2014 part 2

He’s never even admitted it to himself, how badly he’s wanted Ilya Rozanov, in a way he didn’t know he could want men who weren’t his boyfriend. The words slip easily from his tongue now, the shame that’s always accompanied that want a distant memory.

2014: Ilya POV: Shane and Ilya hook up after games

“Oh.” Hollander’s expression twists, lips tugging in a frown. “No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t tell me about other people, either. I don’t wanna know.”

“Sound healthy,” Ilya says dryly.

“Fuck you. Don’t you need to have been in a relationship to know what a healthy one looks like?”

Ilya resists the urge to tell Hollander that his relationship is so dysfunctional, a blind dog could see it. He doesn’t feel like being thrown out of bed just yet.

2014: Shane freaks out the morning after MLH awards; Shane and Brian several months after Brian opens the relationship

He thinks about telling Brian about Rozanov, but he’s not sure what the rules are. Brian hasn’t told him about anyone he’s fucked or is thinking about fucking. Maybe Shane should wait for him to bring it up. Brian hates it when he pesters him for constant clarification, and Shane doesn’t want to ruin his good mood. Better to just follow his lead and work through the rest of it on his own.

Besides, if Brian doesn’t know about Rozanov, he can’t tell Shane not to sleep with him again. Shane can’t pretend that’s not a little bit of a factor.

2015: Ilya and Shane at All Stars (Ilya POV)

It makes Ilya want to claw his skin off a little bit, thinking about how long it's been since he last saw Shane Hollander naked. Knowing that in his absence, Hollander's boyfriend has been fucking him regularly, erasing the memory of Ilya's touch and replacing it with his own.

2015: Ilya and Shane at All Stars (Shane POV)

It’s difficult enough to turn Rozanov down for anything before they're in bed. Once they're actually naked, Shane has discovered there's pretty much nothing he doesn't want Rozanov to do to him.

2015: Hanging with Hayden

Hayden doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't push. It's one of the things that make him so easy to be friends with. He'll ask after Shane, try to set him up on dates, but he never pushes after the first no.

Sometimes Shane wishes he would, a little bit. It's not like he could tell Hayden anything, but if Hayden pushed, if he made Shane talk, it would at least release some of the pressure. It wouldn't be worth the fallout but it would at least be some kind of relief.

2015: Seeing Ilya After All-Stars

Shane doesn't think he's alone in feeling that something has changed. Rozanov doesn't mouth off during the face off like usual but he smiles when Shane meets his eyes, small and private. Shane finds himself smiling back, despite the conflicting feelings in his chest. It's impossible not to, with the way Rozanov is looking at him.

2015: continuation of previous scene, Ilya POV

His eyes flicker over Brian, curious and disdainful. He's handsome, Ilya supposes, or he would be to a person who knew less about his ugly personality. Tall and fit, his dark hair carefully styled and his face clean shaven. He's wearing a tailored suit, tie loosened around his neck. The way he's standing, it's clear he's using every bit of the tiny height advantage he has to tower over Shane.

Ilya hates him.

2015: Continuation of previous scene, Shane POV

"I told you to find a guy to hook up with, not a second boyfriend!" Brian snaps, finally looking up. "Since last June, Shane? Why the fuck did you think that was okay?"

Shane flushes, stomach clenching tightly. He feels guilty and angry in equal measures, and above all confused about what he should be feeling. Brian has something of a point - if Shane really wasn't doing anything wrong, why would he be feeling like he just got caught?

2015: Ilya goes to NYC specifically to hook up with Shane

In hindsight, bragging to Shane's boyfriend about how he planned to steal him away right as Ilya was about to go three months without seeing him off the ice was maybe not the smartest move.

2015: Playoffs

This is probably why he feels so annoyed when he comes home and Brian is already there, sitting on the couch and waiting for Shane. For the second time this week.

They've never spent time together during playoffs before and Brian has never pushed for it. He may not like hockey but he understands Shane's dedication to it.

Shane knows things are different between them this year - especially after the confrontation with Rozanov - but he still thought Brian got it. Their relationship exists in a world apart from hockey and during playoffs, Shane needs to stay in the world where he's Shane Hollander, Captain of the Montreal Metros. Any distractions, even nice ones, are not acceptable.

2015 playoffs: final game

Shane's not dwelling on it, though. His mind feels razor sharp. A kind of calm descended over him in their first game against the Drillers that has yet to lift. He knows what he has to do to win, and knows he's capable of it, too. Knows his team is capable.