itās been awhile... donāt think that iāve forgotten about you. letās start from the beginning of march, i was the happiest that iāve ever been. i was on a cruise with some of my favorite people on one of the greatest vacations that iāve ever been apart of.. parahoy. i made so many memories that will last a lifetime. i took risks, and i learned a lot about myself. i came back from that cruise a new person, with a new outlook on life.
that cruise taught me to follow my dreams. it taught me most importantly, that happiness is the ultimate goal. i was in a relationship that i was not happy in. it was taking away my freedom, and it did not make me feel like how a relationship should make someone feel. i thought i was constantly feeling like i was trapped and i wanted to get out, so i did.
i broke up with him, and i am single and i am working on myself. i am trying to make myself the best version of me that i can possibly be. on the way to that, i have noticed that i am not perfect, i am flawed. i make mistakes just like any other human, and sometimes for me itās hard to accept that. i make wrong choices in people that i call my friends, but being the person that i am i choose to keep them around..
i made a new friend recently, i started talking to him after i broke up with my boyfriend, and he was different and exciting to me. not long after i met him, he was arrested, and i know why he got arrested, but iām not one to post that here. after that happened, i started to think... what if i ever hit rock bottom like that? what if something like that ever happened to me? i didnāt hear from him for a few days until i found out why, and it made me think.. weāre really lucky to have the life that we have. some people are struggling to make it, and it makes them do things that they wouldnāt normally do, and it gets them into trouble. some of these people are good people, i saw the good in him, deep in my heart i know maybe he deserved what he got... but i guess time will tell. maybe this is a lesson. but, i still miss him.
i came to new york city to follow my dreams. i didnāt come here to fall in love. i came here to be the best. i came here to strive and i came here to take advantage of all of the opportunities that are right at my fingertips.
i am in the exact place that iāve always wanted to be. iām happy with who i am, my body, and my goals and ambitions. iām happy with my friends, iām happy with my life here. i just need to keep going. no matter what struggles face me from this point forward, i need to forget about the people that have given me nothing but obstacles.. and to just dream. dream harder. dream bigger. travel. write. film. everything.
2016 is the year that i bring art back into my life. youāre going to see a lot of poetry, film, and blog posts from me this summer. also, i would love for you to follow my fitness journey! itās crazy to think how i used to skip gym class in high school because i didnāt want to run a mile. now, here i am going to the park everyday after work to run. it gets my mind off of the worry that i have, the stress and the emotions that i still have running through my brain...
i hope you stick with me on this journey.
just live, and be happy. no worries, just city dreams. xo