stressy, depressy, & a lil messy

ok so. last night my bf came over during his break at work and things got steamy so i told him to come back after work and we can finish it. so i spend forever in the shower shaving my whole body, washing my hair, all that shit. i get out put on nice smelling lotion, do a little makeup whatever. he comes back and we’re doin some stuff then he couldn’t get it up. he felt so bad whatever were just layin there at this point and he feels really bad and he’s apologizing and i’m over here feeling 36742X worse then he does cuz i obviously don’t turn him on that much. i tried to make everything so damn perfect and it completely back fired. i cried my eyes out when he left cuz i havnt felt that horrible about myself in a long time.

so this morning me and my boyfriend are laying in his bed and he’s like “well should we get up and go get some food” and i’m like sure and then sure enough he starts to fucking touch me and kiss me and shit and 20 minutes later we’re still laying there then he’s like ok hold on and he goes and locks his door and he’s like “imma make sure nobody comes in here now” and he comes back and he’s ready to go down on me and i’m like no😂😂 and he’s like why😂 and i’m like bruh your father and brother are in the living room right now 😂😂 he’s a wild animal man i’m telling you 😂

last night my boyfriend was holding my hand and pointed to my ring finger and was like “someday” and then he went to the bathroom and i literally cried happy tears while he was gone cuz i just never thought in a million years i’d be this happy or even just happy like this in general

ok no so i’m pissed. i’m family camping and literally last night and tonight my friends are at these parties that normally if i was home i’d be at. last time i was at a party i was the only fucking girl there who didn’t know any of the other girls. so to say im pissed is an understatement. my boyfriend and all my friends are there for once. and this will probably never happen again so that’s annoying as fuck.

GUYS HE SAID HE LOVES ME😭💛

yooooo 😁 last night me and my mans had an epic makeout session. it started with kneeling on the bed then i pushed him onto the bed and we kept going then i got on top of him and then i took of my shirt and then we kept going then he went to take my pants off 🥵😩👅 oof lol but then after all this and shit we were literally talking about marriage and then this morning he asked me if i wanted kids and i was like in shock but i said yes lol i mean i’m sure i will eventually but right now heck no lol

i wanna know how FUCKING hard it is to look at time off requests and then make a schedule. don’t approve someone time off and then schedule them! that fucks literally everyone over. i just don’t understand how hard it has to be to make a schedule. seriously.

but i cant help my feelings

i’m affraid he’s gonna break up with me. i can’t deal with that right now i would literally have a break down