When we go far

I deserved that, hope you’re safe and happy

Honestly I was a stupid kid playing around with something serious like a first lovers heart. I never really cared about anything in my life at the time. Until you showed up in it one halloween night. I remember the first time I saw you clear as day. Funny how I cant say that for any of my past partners all these years later. I wasn’t going to do anything for Halloween that year until a mutual friend Mikayla invited me to walk around with her group. We were all sitting around in her garage when you walked in and stole every pair of eyes in that room, hard to forget a smile when someone as pretty as you wore it so damn well. The whole night I was determined to get to know you better, charm you even. a fool like me could never ever get another chance with someone so clearly in a league of her own. despite the odds you humored me, charmed me back even harder. You had me under your spell from that night on. who knew our beautiful story would later take a dark turn caused by the same love struck boy from that night. all theses years pass by and the same thing plays in my head on repeat. a tortuous hellscape in my head constantly reminding me “what if” and I know I’ll never have a true answer. Only more questions devilishly more painful than the previous. It’ll never end until I do and that’s the price I pay for all the hurt I’ve caused you. Oh my dearest K.M.B. I never wanted to imagine a world without you in it. Living through it is truly a hell on earth fitting for the monster you escaped from.

Thank you, for helping me become a significantly better person over the years. Losing you was sadly the best thing that could of happened to me. Without losing you I would of continued being the monster I was on track to be. I’m happy you‘re happy and I’m doing okay. better and better each day. I love reminiscing but it pains me to look back. I thought I let go of us but it seems the best parts of us will never leave me. I can only hope our paths cross again someday.. I’m positive the conversation would be full of all the adventures we’ve been on, accomplishments we’ve achieved and all the exciting dreams yet to come to fruition. Best wishes K.M.B

I can’t sleep much tonight myself, thinking about you an insane amount. Wishing you the sweetest of dreams 9 years later 😴

More than anything in the world. Really fucking sucks I’m about 8 years too late. I still burn for you, every night and every day K.M.B.

The dream starts with me entering the double doors of my small high school in the small town i graduated in. I remember in the dream i didn’t know where to go, i felt lost. I knew i had traversed through these halls many of times but for some reason i couldn’t recall where to go. All of a sudden i realized there weren’t anymore students or teachers around, i was alone in the main entrance of the school. Suddenly, the floor beneath me gave out and i landed in my digital media class. My teacher was lecturing the class about how mistakes were enevitable, you will learn to notice these mistakes more and more with practice and correct them as you go. Sitting in my seat off to the side i remember asking a classmate near by what he was lecturing us on but the fellow classmate ignored me. I repeatedly asked but nothing, just silence. Too silent, i looked around and everything had gone quiet. The room had frozen and i was once again alone. The walls around me came crashing down and behind them were what looked like the train station from Harry Potter. I was both amazed and confused at what i was doing here. Once i boarded the train i took a seat in one of the middle sections of the train. The train whistle blew and that’s how i knew the train was in motion. Once again i looked around me and i was alone in this big middle train section. I looked out the window and it didn’t appear that we were going that fast, but as fast as i peered outside the window i also heard a loud crashing noise coming from the front of the train, i stuck my head out the window to see that we had actually wrecked into my house from when i was in high school. Not long after a yellow school bus pulls up beside us and lets off some students, and sure enough i saw myself get off the bus and climb into the house as if everything was normal. The dream fades into darkness and i awake back in my bed.